I was motivated to write to senior leaders and faculty at my child’s college this month. It emerged as a “must do” as we have a whisper of hope that he may be desisting from a five+-year pursuit and adoption of a trans identity. This merged with my immersion in desistance stories and the reported requirement that the Cleveland Clinic and Texas Children’s Hospital provide care for desisters and detransitioners as part of the settlement with the DOJ’s investigations into allegations that they submitted false billings to public and private payers to secure insurance coverage for pediatric sex-rejecting procedures.

My background is in higher education, and it has been satisfying to use my professional experience to pursue this advocacy. I emailed my child’s major faculty, the Provost and the President. As expected, the provost referred me to the senior student affairs officer with whom I spoke on the phone and with whom I am working to keep the conversation going. I intend to write to members of the Board of Trustees as well.

I used a pseudonym in my communications because I’m afraid to do anything that would jeopardize our tenuous connection with our child. And everything feels like anything right now. I could also easily imagine how the exchange could negatively impact my employability if revealed.

I’m deeply aware of how higher education was a catalyst for gender ideology and how the ideology has profoundly captured higher education. And there is value in being a canary in the coalmine with the leaders of these institutions. Especially when our children are in their stewardship. Because I’m afraid to do anything more than tell my son how much I love him and find opportunities to just be in his orbit, I’m exercising my compulsion to do with advocacy actions. I offer excerpts from the letters I wrote to anyone else with that interest.

President and Provost

I’ve searched (Name of Institution’s) website and find no resources or visibility for students who are desisting or pursuing detransition from socially identifying as the opposite sex, or taking cross-sex hormones or puberty blockers, or undergoing surgery to modify their appearance.

• Please share with me the resources and support (Name of Institution) provide to students who are desisting from identifying as “trans.”

• Please share with me the evidence-based sources informing (Name of Institution’s) “gender affirming care” and resources for students pursuing a “trans” identity.

• Please share with me the resources and support (Name of Institution) provide to faculty and staff to support students who are desisting and pursuing detransition from identifying as “trans.”

I hope that someone of your intellect and compassion is deeply questioning of gender ideology. Given your academic background as a Name the Academic Discipline, I expect that you are a sex realist and understand there are two immutable biological sexes. I anticipate that as you review the lack of credible evidence for sex-change practices you are actively concerned about the irreversible medical harm and fully understand that the drugs are damaging, the surgeries unsafe, ineffective, unethical, and unjustifiable. As a result, I would expect the leadership of Name of Institution to prioritize ensuring highly visible and expert resources for students who are engaged in an off-ramp from their pursuit of a cosmetically and chemically induced alternative gender presentation.

*At my child’s institution both men in these positions came to their leadership responsibilities through STEM disciplines.

Senior Student Affairs Officer

I understand that qualified staff at the Health and Counseling Center provide individualized assessment and care and that providers make treatment decisions in confidence with students. My concern, however, is not about the clinical care provided during appointments. Rather, it is about the information the Center chooses to make publicly available on its website.

The website includes numerous and explicit resources intended to support students who identify as transgender. My question is whether the Center has considered providing comparable publicly available resources for students who are questioning a transgender identity or considering detransition.

Does Student Affairs believe there is value in making resources for these students visible on the website, just as resources for students pursuing transition are currently visible?

If the decision not to include such resources is intentional, I would appreciate understanding the rationale. If Student Affairs has established criteria for determining which external resources are appropriate to include on the website, I would also appreciate learning what those criteria are.

My interest is in understanding how Student Affairs approaches the inclusion of resources for the full range of students navigating questions related to gender identity.

I know that inclusion and belonging help to ensure that students thrive and do well academically. I also know that Student Affairs professionals work extremely hard to ensure all students see themselves reflected in the resources available, especially those who are most underrepresented or at risk. Unfortunately, nothing on Name of Institution’s website suggests that students desisting or pursuing detransition would be welcome or supported. In fact, the exact opposite is much more likely, and this puts these students at grave risk.

Given the disparity, I would expect Name of Institution’s leadership to ensure that students, and faculty and staff seeking to support desisting students, can easily find explicit detransition resources at Name of Institution or guidance to resources online or elsewhere in Local City on Name of Institution’s or website. It is impractical and incongruous to imply that these are imbedded within the umbrella label “gender affirming care.”

At my child’s institution the senior student affairs officer advised me that the website advertising “gender affirming care” includes care for desisters and that students questioning a trans identity would understand this as a resource. My response:

This assertion seems ill-informed at best. It is improbable that anyone pursuing desistance or detransition would recognize that appropriate resources are available at Name of Institution. You have explicitly designed Name of Web Pages (and hyperlink) to advertise resources to support the adoption of trans identities and the pursuit of sex-rejecting treatments. It is implausible that anyone would consider “gender affirming care” to include support for individuals who decide that they want to stop identifying as the opposite sex given how most people commonly use this term. Desisting students hoping to address the root causes of their mental health, gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, and the iatrogenic self-harm they have caused by using drugs and surgeries to reject their sex cannot be expected to see themselves in Name of Institution’s resources.

In addition, my child’s institution references adherence to the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) as the guiding light for the care they provide. My response:

This is extremely problematic. Medical and mental health providers throughout the world trusted WPATH’s Standards of Care. However, in 2024 the WPATH Files made clear this was unfounded. WPATH activists appointed themselves as the gatekeepers while also being the promoters who benefit financially from the standards of care (unsupported by credible science) which they created. The Cass Review and the HHS Review address the evidence-based risks and life-threatening and irreversible harms of “gender affirming care” for minors. And recently the FTC announced a lawsuit again WPATH for these reasons. By association it is reasonable to include young adults and vulnerable people at risk as well. Relying on WPATH is a risk to students and a liability to the University (e.g., the Fox Varian lawsuit, the Camille Kiefel settlement, Cleveland Clinic, and Texas Children’s Hospital, etc.).

Faculty

I am the parent of a (Name of Institution) (Name of Major) major. I’m also a lifelong feminist, Democrat, and champion of liberal arts education.

I am writing to ask you to pursue every opportunity to help and support students who are desisting or pursuing detransition from trans identities.

I am watching the gender ideology belief system erode women’s rights in favor of trans rights that allow boys and men to play sports and enter rest rooms and locker rooms that our institutions reserved for girls and women in the past. I’m fighting against the homophobia that leads your students toward trans identities, which they consider to be safer than being gay or lesbian.

I am a mother who desperately loves her child and I’m distraught that higher education continues to promote gender identity ideology and “gender affirming care.” The drugs and surgeries are not safe or effective. This medicalization is not ethical nor justifiable. Using cross-sex hormones, puberty blockers, sterilization, mastectomies, and castrations to present as the opposite sex and incur lifelong health conditions are the medical scandal of our lifetime.

Please help your students and my child find their way back to reality. Please be encouraging and accepting as they begin to desist or detransition. Please ensure they are safe and supported to the same degree as those who have caught the trans contagion. Please advocate with the college’s health and counseling centers to provide resources that are visible to the same degree as the resources wrongly named “gender affirming care.”

If this is new territory for you, please become more knowledgeable. Your students’ lives and my child’s life depend upon it.

Board of Trustees

My communication with members of the Board will focus on the risks incurred by the institution by failing to meet the needs of desisters and of continuing to rely on WPATH / failing to rely on evidence-based guidance.

I included these links at the bottom of all my communications:

• Democrats for an Informed Approach to Gender

• Genspect

• Society for Evidence Based Gender Medicine

• Health and Human Services Review

• Cass Review

Risks of “Gender Affirming Care”

• Understanding the Study Flaws

• Bad Data

• WPATH Exposed

• Society for Evidence Based Gender Medicine

• The Strange Case of the Disappearing ‘Standards of Care’

Resources for Desisters and Detransitioners

• Beyond Trans

• Detrans ai

• Resilience Health Network

There are moments in life when you are forced to decide what you really believe. Not in theory. Not in comfort. But in the middle of heartbreak. This is one of those moments for us.

We love our daughter. That has never changed. Not through confusion, not through accusations, not through silence, and not even through complete separation.

But we are living a reality we never saw coming.

Somewhere along the way, our daughter began living a life we knew nothing about. While we were showing up as parents, loving her, supporting her, even welcoming her girlfriend into our home, there was another narrative being built behind the scenes.

A narrative where we were no longer loving parents, but villains.

We were accused of things we never did. Told we were unsafe. Even accused of trying to send her to a “conversion camp”. These weren’t misunderstandings. These were serious claims that reshaped how others saw us and, ultimately, how our daughter saw us.

And the most painful part?

Someone she trusted, someone WE trusted, reinforced those lies and convinced her we were dangerous.

So she left.

When she went to college, she changed her name. She cut off all contact. Just like that, we lost access to our daughter…not because we stopped loving her, but because we were shut out of her life.

Since then, things have only spiraled further than we ever imagined. Broken relationships. Destructive choices. Multiple suicide attempts. The most recent one left her unconscious, intubated, and fighting for her life.

And in that hospital room, everything became clear.

This is not just rebellion.

This is not just “finding yourself.”

This is a spiritual battle.

There is confusion being called truth.

There are lies being affirmed as identity.

There is destruction being disguised as freedom.

And we are watching it play out in someone we love.

But hear this clearly…

We will not abandon truth to keep a relationship.

And we will not stop loving our daughter because she has walked away from both us and from it.

Both can exist.

We can stand firm in what we believe is right, and still ache for her, pray for her, and love her without condition.

Because this is not just about disagreement.

This is about life and death.

We have stood at her bedside begging God to save her life.

We have cried out with everything in us, holding onto the promise that “the Lord is close to the brokenhearted.”

And we believe He heard us.

But the grief is ongoing.

She still will not speak to us. We are blocked. Silenced. Cut off.

It is a strange and painful reality to feel like you have two children in one memory. The daughter you raised, laughed with, and loved openly… and the person who now lives a life you were never allowed to see or understand.

And still we stand.

Not in fear.

Not in silence.

But in faith.

We think of the prodigal son often. Not as a soft story, but as a real one. A story of rebellion, brokenness, and consequences. But also a story of a father who never chased the lie… and never stopped waiting for the truth.

That is where we are.

We are not chasing after a false version of love that requires us to deny what we believe.

We are standing at the door.

Watching.

Praying.

Believing.

Believing that truth still matters.

Believing that God still redeems.

Believing that no lie is stronger than His power to restore.

So we will keep loving her.

We will keep praying for her.

And we will keep standing in truth no matter how lonely that place may feel.

Because real love does not abandon truth.

And real truth does not abandon hope.

Welcome to the PITT weekly roundup where you’ll find a list of the week’s postings along with links to some of our favorite books, videos, social media, and podcasts. Please continue the fight against the harms of gender ideology by sharing.

Access to all PITT content is free. Our objective is to inform the public of the devastating impact of gender ideology on families through our personal experiences.

Quote of the Week from The reason our trans-identified daughter stopped taking testosterone? Vanity: “After about two years, our daughter decided to stop the testosterone because of one particular side effect: male-pattern balding. She had had other health problems, too: high cholesterol and blood pressure readings, unexplained urinary tract infections, and possibly other issues that she chose not to share with me. But it was the bald spot and the receding hairline that really bothered her.”

PITT POSTS THIS WEEK:

Friday, July 24: Repost: A Week in the Life

Thursday, July 23: The reason our trans-identified daughter stopped taking testosterone? Vanity

Wednesday, July 22: Dear Family

Tuesday, July 21: Responses to the Trans Talking Points

Monday, July 20: No, I Will Not Take Your Survey

IN THE NEWS

WTA introducing gene testing for all players on women’s tour

The Women’s Tennis Association updated its women's eligibility policy to include gender screening "based on biological sex" this week "to preserve the integrity of women's professional tennis and maintain fair competition conditions for all players."

IMAGES THAT CAPTURE IT

Watch at about half way through this Portlandia clip when they get to the “gender detective”.

ORDER PITT’S BOOK

Parents with Inconvenient Truths about Trans: Tales from the Home Front in the Fight to Save Our Kids, a compendium of some of the most compelling essays yet from PITT.

SHARE YOUR STORY

Have a story to share about gender ideology? Submit to Pitt@genspect.org

On Monday I work to not “misgender” you. It’s Pride month after all. I’ve capitulated to your request for a misgender jar, the game you suggested we play this month. Every time your father or I call you “she” or “her” we put a dollar in the jar. You have seven dollars so far. It is not a fun game. It’s a shitty game and I want to have my own jar, because the way I see it, you are misgendering you. You are not a “they.” You are a beautiful, deluded, confused young woman.

On Tuesday I lay awake and cry, terrified you’re barreling down a path I have no power to save you from. I can’t imagine actually taking your phone or pulling you out of school. Your dad and I have always solved big problems with small actions. It reminds me of that quote from Contact—“Small moves, Ellie.” But are small moves enough to keep you safe? In the middle of the night I remember that your therapist, who took her own daughter to Europe to get her to desist, doesn’t believe that that’s what you need. She sees you as a mild case. Mild case, I whisper to myself as I finally drift to sleep.

On Wednesday my nerves are shattered from broken sleep and anxious dreams. Over coffee your dad reminds me that you’re okay for now and that pulling you from school or shutting off your internet access will only backfire. Right now you’re still ours. You still listen, seek our company, laugh at our jokes. We’ve made an explicit family agreement when it comes to this stuff: our skepticism isn’t transphobic. We forbid you cutting off conversation when we question your beliefs. And also, we are always so, so careful. Like dismantling a live bomb, we do everything we can to avoid detonation.

On Thursday you and I head to the mall. I buy us Starbucks and we sit at a mildly dirty table talking about the school play you want to audition for in the fall. I muse aloud about you getting a summer job even though we’re halfway through June. You don’t completely balk, but your enthusiasm could use some work. In the car on the way home you glare at me when I sing along to The Communards. I want to tell you about them but instead you tell me that you have misophonia. I roll my eyes. Me so phony, I think. You and your mental disorders. I sing again to piss you off and you slam the stereo off, hitting the windshield wipers in the process. Afterward, we sit in clenched silence, the suburbs rolling by in an emerald blur.

On Friday I lay in bed all day. You spend the afternoon with your one friend who still goes by her birth name and biologically matched pronouns. I binge watch videos on Exulansic’s Odysee channel—dozens of phalloplasties gone wrong. I know in my heart that’s not your goal, but I am gripped by the horror. I watch these barely adult women with their hollow eyes, beards and scarred flat chests bullshit themselves as they detail complications that leave them with colostomy bags taped to their thighs, scarred forearms, misshapen skin tubes… One uses a motorized wheelchair. Another describes waiting for yet another corrective surgery she thinks will bring her to the magical finish line. They beg us to believe they have no regrets. They’re so thankful, but their insurance has run out and their doctors no longer care, so anything you can afford would be so, so greatly appreciated.

On Saturday your dad and I take you to the little town where he proposed to me. We amble in and out of galleries, vintage shops and stores bursting with incense, saris and tie-dye T-shirts. It’s so good to be out of the house, just spending time together. At dinner you don’t want lemonade because the pulp bothers your “texture issues.” You’re afraid to use the bathroom unless it’s a unisex single serve. Your dad and I share a knowing glance.

On the way back to the car we pass a trans couple—a pair of biological young men holding hands and storming up the sidewalk like they’re expecting a fight. When they pass I can’t help but notice that the tall one is wearing a pink thong under a sheer mesh skirt. His ass on display exhausts me. I remark on it and you say, staring after them in awe, “I think they look cool”.

In the car I ask for more details about your current public bathroom feelings and habits. You don’t want to use the mens’ because it’s gross, but you don’t like the ladies’ because, ugh, other people. Your dad and I take the opportunity to warn you against using the mens’ room for a host of reasons we do not detail. The ladies’ makes so much more sense. Causes far less trouble. I decide you’re secretly relieved to have us tell you what to do, how to proceed through this impossible maze you’ve constructed.

On Sunday it rains. I ask your help to set the table and you do so reluctantly. Your dad asks how the job search is going and you shrug. After dinner I walk the dogs and suddenly seethe. I decide I’m done with the lying. The next time you accuse me of misgendering you, I’m going to tell you, like I learned from Exulansic, that I am a gender atheist. That I don’t believe in gender identity. I believe in the truth. Facts. Biology. And you, my dear, are a biological woman with matching pronouns. And another thing! In September I’m telling the school to change your name back to your birth name. Your real name. And if they refuse, I’m taking you out of there! I’m practically foaming at the mouth, I’m so furious. But when I arrive back home, you’re sitting with your dad in the living room eating popcorn and watching the new Dr. Strange movie and, as I hang up the leashes, I decide to wait another day.

Our daughter was infected by the trans virus in 2016, at the age of about 13. We were living in an eastern European country at the time and believe she came in contact with the trans idea at her international school, or through social media, or most likely both.

My husband is European and I am an American who has lived in Europe since the late 1980s. He and I are both older parents, having adopted our daughter in Russia as a baby when we were already in our 40’s. At 13 months, she was a bit underweight but showed no signs of developmental delay. With us, she grew up in happy, upper middle-class circumstances: private schools, nannies, soccer team, horseback riding, swimming lessons, family trips. Never an honour student, she excelled in every sport she tried and held her own academically. All in all, we had more than a decade of normalcy and, I’ll say it, joy.

The “Mom, I’m trans” announcement came in writing, via the Skype chat we used at the time. It was a weekday evening; she and I were both at home and my husband was out of town for work. A few weeks earlier, she and her best friend had both got short haircuts, and I’d noticed my daughter was wearing baggier clothing and hunching to hide her breasts. This written salvo, however, took me by surprise.

I’d seen the high-profile media stories about “trans kids,” and had adopted a live-and-let-live attitude about it. For a little while, my daughter had been telling me about a girlfriend who was planning to “come out” to her parents about being trans. I just listened and let her talk, thinking to myself, “Damn, how are they going to handle it?” But hey, that was their problem, not ours.

But now my own girl was texting me from downstairs, saying that she was really a boy and wanted to get hormones and “top surgery.” The language of her text was clearly some kind of script and not her own words. When I called her to come talk with me in the same room, I would have to describe her mood as euphoric. My pulse was racing and my stomach turning, but I decided to just listen as she chattered on excitedly using the unfamiliar vocabulary of trans. I asked questions and listened and promised more conversation the next day.

In the days that followed, I gleaned as much as I could from material available online, which wasn’t much, apart from a lot of weirdly uniform pro-trans content. I joined and then swiftly got ejected from a couple of Facebook parent groups – for asking questions about side effects, irreversible physical changes, long-term outcomes, etc. Soon enough, my husband and I knew where we stood on the matter and told our daughter: dress as you like, wear your hair as you like, but you are female and nothing will change that. We do not support any form of transition.

We said at the time but regretted it later: “This is a decision for an adult, and you will not be legally an adult until you are 18.” She was only 13 at the time, and age 18 seemed like the distant future . . .

Faced with non-affirming parents, she turned dark and hostile, at times violent. Living with her was like walking on eggshells all the time. Anything could set her off. She slung accusations and insults: “You don’t love me, because you don’t accept me.” “You’re transphobes, bigoted old losers.” And so on. Once she brandished a kitchen knife at me, and for several subsequent nights I wished we had a lock on the bedroom door.

When I finished my assignment in that country and our daughter was 16 years old, we packed up and moved back to my husband’s country, which was familiar and beloved by all of us. We hoped the change of scenery and peer group would snap her out of the trans obsession, but it only seemed to get worse. In retrospect, I think she used the trans identity as “cred” to help her integrate into the new school. It was around this time that she somehow managed to procure a chest binder.

We tried a family vacation in the mountains, but with her nonstop hostility towards us, it wasn’t much fun. She brought along a high-end digital camera we had given her, continuously demanded I take portraits of her, and then complained contemptuously about my skills as a photographer. I took hundreds of photos of her that week, in poses clearly meant to emphasize her sharp jawline and flattened, overdressed upper body.

I took her to a respected diagnostic psychotherapist. After two full days of testing, the evaluation was: anxiety, depression, and “social pragmatic communication disorder” which apparently used to fall under the autism umbrella. Though concerning, these were diagnoses we thought might be a form of protection in the future against hasty action on the part of gender doctors, but of course that proved to be a foolish assumption.

After some delay owing to the COVID pandemic – and surgery to correct a facial birthmark – at age 19 our daughter moved to a neighbouring country for university-level studies. Before she departed, my husband and I made one last effort to talk her out of medicalising. We laid out the list of risks: heart disease, cancer, pelvic floor dysfunction, clitoral growth, sterility. She dismissed it all, insisting that she was an adult and it was her body and nobody could tell her what to do with it. Furthermore, she made it clear she couldn’t wait to get away from us.

In no time she found a clinic near her school and started testosterone injections. I don’t need to tell you how frightening it was to hear her voice gradually lowering on our periodic phone conversations, or how revolting it was to see her bloated head and body, huge thighs, and the ever-denser moustache and beard when she came home for Christmas and summer breaks. I won’t dwell on any of that because now I want to get to the good news.

After about two years, our daughter decided to stop the testosterone because of one particular side effect: male-pattern balding. She had had other health problems, too: high cholesterol and blood pressure readings, unexplained urinary tract infections, and possibly other issues that she chose not to share with me. But it was the bald spot and the receding hairline that really bothered her. She also told me that she didn’t like the shape of her face on testosterone – it gave her sort of a pumpkin head and interfered with the “snatched” jaw she always liked to show off when posing for photos. She still identifies as “trans,” she is quick to say, but is satisfied with the changes she achieved and feels no need to continue.

It has been over a year now without testosterone, and we have observed changes. On the physical side: she is having her period again, the thinning hair has largely filled in, her face shape has returned to normal, she has lost the extra weight and muscle mass, and the pitch of her voice has risen slightly. She says her blood pressure and cholesterol values are back to normal, but she is still battling UTIs. Mentally and emotionally, she is less aggressive and easier to be around.

In a few months she will finish her studies, and all indications are that she will soon be financially self-supporting. She keeps in touch with her father and me via the family WhatsApp chat, and perhaps a weekly phone call to me. It’s not the relationship I would like, but so much better than even a year ago.

Our experience underscores two things. First, that the situation with a trans-identified kid can be dynamic – as they mature, as they experience side effects, as public discourse on trans topics becomes more open and varied, and as their own interests expand.

Second, that vanity can be an important lever. Since our daughter cut off her beautiful, long, wavy hair years ago, we never realised that the thickness of her hair was still important to her. And though she had rejected her youthful female beauty, she was still subject to vanity and hated the puffed-up face and head that testosterone gave her.

Ours is not a story about detransition, since for now our daughter still “lives as” a man in her world. We do not know whether she will ever reassume her original identity as a strong, athletic, bossy girl, but we are grateful that vanity effectively led her to prioritise her health. We are also grateful that she has never cut ties with us. We choose to feel hopeful, and I think this is a message other parents might appreciate reading.

I wrote this letter to a family member because an exchange left me unsure where she stood and because I wanted her and her daughters’ help with our son. Her immediate response made me feel heard and understood; more so than any I’ve received from the few people in whom I’ve confided. She’s had concerns about her younger daughter’s belief in gender ideology and her trans-identifying friends. Our conversation after she read the letter was both satisfying and dissatisfying. I felt supported and understood and that I had a committed ally. I was also dismayed by our shared fear of the risk of involving her daughters in reaching our son – the younger who is a staunch ally and the elder because the opportunity needs to be “just right” not to upset the whisper of hope we hold today. So, we wait. I am glad the door is open, so if an opportunity presents for her direct involvement, we need only ask.

Dear Family Member,

I appreciated you asking and talking with me about my son and listening to my requests and feelings during our last visit together. I’m so grateful for you and your family’s presence in our lives. I treasure our connection.

I’m writing this to you because I want to be clear and don’t want to forget anything.

Our beloved son has aggressively self-harmed by taking powerful sex-rejecting drugs that cause sterilization. Rejecting his healthy body and believing his life will be better if he presents as female is a sign of a mental health condition. Acting on this belief by self-harming has been profoundly scary and heartbreaking. For several years, every single time (and it is almost nightly) I have woken up in the middle of the night I immediately think about him and my deepest fears for his wellbeing. We are traumatized and is affecting all areas of our life.

The medical impacts of using drugs and surgeries to help present as the opposite sex destroy lives, lead to increased mental health issues, and are life-threatening. Cross-sex hormones and puberty blockers cause life-altering harm to boys including increased fat cells and weight gain; causing testicles to shrink; stopping sperm production and causing permanent sterility; forming blood clots in the brain which cause strokes, clots in the chest which lead to heart attacks, and clots in the lungs which cause embolisms; bone weakness and mass loss; muscle loss; depression; headaches; loss of sex drive; erectile dysfunction; liver disease; fat accumulation in veins; tumors in the lining of the brain; breast cancer; and insulin resistance leading to a long list of serious health problems, the most minor of which is near-constant fatigue.

Six months ago, our son asserted that he could make it on his own because we tied funds for college to test results that show he is drug free and consistent sessions with a gender critical therapist. We hope that he is on a path of recovery. We believe he is not currently taking drugs. We need him, for his own sake, to leave the transgender cult and return to us and to reality. We are doing everything we can to support this.

We desperately need you and others who love him to support and encourage any steps he takes to stop presenting as female or trans. Please only refer to him by his name. Please do not encourage or imply support for his pursuit of a female presentation. Please let us know immediately if you see evidence that others we know are affirming a female presentation. Please encourage your daughters and his cousins to affirm all his gifts and value as a young man and discourage them from supporting his self-harm as you’re able. Please, please help us protect him from himself and his capture by this cult.

I have spent days and days and days learning as much as I can about this. What I have come to understand is the following:

• Corrupt and wealthy extremists have actively promoted transgender identity ideology for their own ends over the last 25 years, and it has become imbedded in our laws and education. It is not based on science or justice.

• Social media and online engagement contributed to a social contagion for youth and vulnerable people, especially during the pandemic. Educators, social workers, counselors and trans activists recruit and promote this ideology.

• Humans are not born into the “wrong body”. There are two biological sexes that are unchangeable. Boys cannot become girls and girls cannot become boys through double-mastectomies, castration, plastic surgery, puberty blockers, or cross-sex hormones.

• Gender identity ideology is based on falsehoods promoted by extreme activists in medicine, education and politics; an over-emphasis on misplaced kindness and care by unquestioning people; and adopted through the failures of the medical and mental health professions. Drug companies and gender clinics also profit.

• Corrupt researchers and providers who issued guidance that was not evidence-based misled the medical and mental health professions who broadly adopted the guidance. For example, a rampant myth is that if you do not affirm your child’s self-asserted identity, they are likely to commit suicide. This is not true and the research does not support the claim.

• The social impacts of trying to present as the opposite sex are detrimental and negatively impact mental health, employability, relationships, and life satisfaction.

• Gender identity ideology

  • is harmful to women and girls because it puts the rights of men and boys who want to be women ahead of women, e.g. boys who want to use a locker room because they self-identify as a girl are prioritized over girls’ private single-sex spaces.

  • objectifies women and girls by implying that a boy can become a woman as if it only requires surface changes (surgery and drugs), not lived experience or biology.

  • relies on outdated stereotypes to define women as if being a woman means long hair, shaving your legs, or wearing dresses, jewelry, or makeup.

  • requires compliance with false references to pronouns or gender – it demands that all of us to lie to ourselves and others when engaging with or referring to someone as if they are the opposite sex.

  • is homophobic -- it pushes youth and vulnerable people who are gay or lesbian to adopt the presentation of the opposite sex as a less scary alternative.

Thanks for reading this and thinking about what I’m asking of you. If you realize you can’t help us support our son as described, we need you to let us know.

With love,

More resources if you’re interested:

• Democrats for an Informed Approach to Gender

• Detrans ai

• LGB Courage Coalition

• LGB Alliance USA

• Genspect

• Beyond Gender podcast

• Beyond Trans

• TransMuted podcast

• Society for Evidence Based Gender Medicine

• Health and Human Services Review

• Cass Review

If you’re like me, probably reading WAY too many online exchanges regarding trans ideology, you’ve likely encountered the repeated talking points that trans supporters use to “prove” they’re right. Below is a list of the standard points and some suggested responses to them.

Statement: Trans people have always existed and will continue to exist.

Response: This discussion is not about whether trans people exist. It is about whether we should be medicalizing and surgically altering the bodies of vulnerable young people at critical times in their development when their brains are not fully developed. Please stick to the topic.

Statement: If you’re against trans surgeries, then you must also be against circumcision.

Response: These topics are totally unrelated. Circumcision is often done for religious reasons. Is trans ideology a religion? If you’re concerned about circumcisions, please find the group that addresses that topic. This isn’t it.

Statement: No one gets hormones or surgery unless they are fully evaluated.

Response: There are MANY reports from detransitioners about how quickly they were able to obtain hormones and move toward surgery. Also, from Wikipedia: “Historically, many health centers required a psychiatric evaluation and/or a letter from a therapist before beginning hormone replacement therapy. Many centers now use an informed consent model that does not require any routine formal psychiatric evaluation.” *Be aware that Facebook doesn’t allow this link to be posted, claiming it violates their rules about sex and sexuality (not that that’s relevant).

Statement: More people regret knee surgery than trans surgery.

Response: This is a specious argument. What does knee surgery have to do with trans identity? People requiring knee surgery have injuries or damage in need of physical correction. Trans surgery is an extreme form of body modification. It is the removal of healthy body parts.

Statement: Once the ban on left-handedness was lifted, many more people became left-handed.

Response: This is a specious comparison. Left-handedness is in part hereditary. It is also determined by the physical location of certain functions within the brain. It has nothing to do with trans identity. Further, in the current thinking on trans surgery, if someone was bothered by being forced to be right-handed, their solution would have been to cut off their right hand.

Statement: Children know who they are. Believe them.

Response: Did you know who you were at age 12, 14, even 21? In that time period, did you ever make an uninformed decision or one that you came to regret later?

Statement: The experts know what they’re doing. (Variant: Trust the scientists.)

Response: This statement ignores the many mistakes science/medicine has made in the past, many of them extremely damaging:

• Blood-letting to cure disease

• Trephination (drilling a hole in the skull) to treat headaches and mental disorders

• “Snake oil” (many varieties) for whatever ails someone

• Baby-calming medicines that contained alcohol and opium

• Radium to slow aging and cure insanity

• Testicular implants taken from goats to bolster virility

• Thalidomide for morning sickness, which led to severe birth defects in the children

• DES – a synthetic estrogen – to prevent miscarriages, which led to increased cancer risks in the mother and child

• Lobotomies

• Opioids – supposedly nonaddictive -- to relieve pain

These are just a few of many examples. In many of these cases, it took intervention from outside agencies and government to shut down the practice.

Statement: Most detransitioners (and there aren’t a lot), change their minds due to social reasons--getting harassed and bullied.

Response: What is your source for this information? As detransitioners are only starting to speak and there have been no systematic studies done, we have no idea how many people detransition or why. Many just stop treatment without ever telling their doctors. It’s also been reported that some of that bullying comes from trans folk. It will be a long time before the picture is clear.

Statement: Fewer than 1% of trans people regret transitioning.

Response: This statistic is unreliable; the study that proposed it has been debunked on at least two occasions:
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-023-02623-5
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8751779/

Statement: Intersex people exist.

Response: Yes, they do, and they are not trans. This is an exploitation of intersex people for a political agenda.

Statement: The decision to transition is a private matter between a patient and their doctor.

Response: In general, this is true. But when a profession seriously deviates from its mission and many people are harmed, it is the obligation of outside agencies and/or the government to step in. This is what eventually shut down lobotomies.

Statement: You’re just a ….[fill in the blank with “transphobe” or any profanity].

Response: First, you know nothing about me and make assumptions based on no information whatsoever. Second, if you mean to be an advocate or activist for the trans community, consider your approach. Insults and name-calling are offensive and immature, not a good look if you want people to take you seriously. And not good representation of the group you seek to protect.

I am so tired, so very exhausted, so hoarse from saying the same thing over and over and over again. My head hurts from continually living in a world where I know one thing to be true while the world around me continues to (proudly and loudly) perpetuate the lie. For the 900th time: trans is not real. It was invented by a predator and expanded by a group of advocates who sold it to the world as an answer to a problem that doesn’t exist.

This virulent virus grew online sucking in fragile, mentally unstable, traumatized, or lonely kids looking for a way to avoid growing into an adult in a world that seems scarier than ever. Now, we are living in post-trans society that continues to perpetuate the lie because it is too entrenched in our politics, medical establishments, and bank accounts to deny. To admit trans ideology is a lie today would be to admit it was a lie all along. So, we continue to lie to each other; and, out of ‘kindness’ continue to pretend trans is real.

So, no, I will not take your survey because your questions imply you are so far from seeing the truth about trans that all the evidence I can possibly provide will not move the dial one degree. I am not and never will be the parent of a ‘trans-woman.’ I am the proud mom of a brilliant, highly moral, deeply thoughtful young man who was assaulted at age 14 and joined a cult to try to deal with the trauma. I do not have anything to say about the date my son informed us he was joining this cult, nor how he did it, nor the way he is currently trying to extract himself from this cult. I will not give you details of how our family was devastated, our finances depleted, our faith in medicine - indeed in many friendships - utterly demolished.

No. I will instead point you toward finding the information you seek.

Specifically

Look to the science. Don’t just skim the first few articles you find, because we all know algorithms exist. You must dig deeper. You will find there is nothing. Zilch. There is positively no scientific evidence, anywhere, from any respected organization with any sort of real data that actually says there is such a thing as a trans person. Instead, you will find what is derisively called in the academic world a “citation circle.” You will see the World Professional Association of Trans Health (WPATH) providing guidance - the AMA taking up this guidance as gospel - then the doctors follow the protocols’ put forth from this guidance. Going backwards, the doctors cite the AMA who cites WPATH as the source of this guidance. It ends there. Nothing more exists. I challenge you to find it.

Further, there is no science that says ‘transing’ a person helps the person in any manner, shape, or form. There is no evidence that says troubled teens are emotionally, physically or mentally better after being ‘transed.’ You will find, like the Wizard says in the Wizard of Oz, “There is nothing behind the curtain.”

Your research should include:

Dr. Money - the ‘father’ of gender medicine was actually a predator who sexually abused young boys and called one trans in the1960’s. See why Dr. Paul McHugh was the recipient of the 2025 Robert J. Zimmer Medal for Intellectual Freedom by the American Academy of Sciences and Letters.

The Dutch Protocol - used to be the ‘gold standard’ has recently been dropped by many countries in Europe but continues in the United States. See Dr. Hilary Cass - the British Physician hired by the government to look into their gender clinics and the following actions from her report.

WPATH - the organization created to perpetuate trans known for its ‘standards of care’- continues to do its job well. See the 2025 files published by journalist Mia Hughes for particularly enlightening information on the ‘research’ conducted by this organization.

Look to the patterns of the online contagion. If you are curious when our son was taken in by the cult, simply look to the date when trans set fire online: around 2014, spiking, not surprisingly, after covid. Consider, what was going on in the world at these dates. Why would post covid result in more kids seeking trans identities? What possible reason can think of for boys not wanting to become men in a world where they see violence, porn, and ‘alpha’ male behavior as the norm? Why would girls possibly not want to grow up to become women in a world they see as patently violent, unstable and unfair to their natural gender? (Not to say how the trans-cult has made this even more the case.)

Don’t just answer with ‘because they were born in the wrong body’ and close your notebook. Instead, consider these questions as the starting point to do your own research.

Look at who is shouting the loudest in public versus who whispering quietly in private. Like Orwell’s dystopian story, we parents of kids caught in the trans-cult whisper quietly about the fact That the ‘Ministry of Family’ otherwise known as child and human services has morphed into the “Ministry of Anti-Family” that will take your child in a hot minute as the state always knows ‘better.’ Even if they aren’t physically snatching your child out of your home, they are emotionally and mentally pulling our children away by claiming trans is a real and viable option. Oh, don’t forget, they are diligently educating our children into the trans-cult in schools per the state’s regulations.

As in the book, 1984, the dumb ones actually believe that trans is real and so they believe they are supporting a good cause. It’s the more intelligent ones, however, that frighten me to the core. Who are these evil people – often education, medical, political leaders – that know that trans is a cult and support it anyway?

If you want to be like Winston Smith uncovering reality in the basement of the “Ministry of Truth” (the media) – you must find your own truth. Good luck to you.

Ask what these children and young people are actually seeking. If your knee jerk response is: ‘a different body to match the image in their mind’ then you know you are part of the problem. If you want to be a part of the solution, I challenge you to research what these kids and young people are seeking.

Many say they ‘hate’ themselves and want to change their body so that they will ‘feel better.’ Others say they believe they will gain society’s acceptance if they ‘pass’ as the opposite gender. Some are hoping to find a tribe of ‘like-minded’ individuals or they want to express themselves more uniquely than today’s norms expect. Some might just be gay and don’t accept themselves as such. Distill this down to what these kids and young people are actually seeking. I think you will find that what they want is what we all want: acceptance, friendships, inner peace, good relationships, and love.

This will be the saddest part of your research. It also seems criminal to me. These kids and young people are looking for what we are all looking for and instead, they are given a damaged body to match a damaged heart (and distorted mind). In searching for love and acceptance they have been given a map that leads them along a road of lies. As they follow along (as many of these young people are conscientious rule followers), they are driven further away from what they are actually seeking – resulting in a dead end of regret, self-mutilation, and further self-hate.

Note that the subject of Trans is quite nuanced so take your time pulling back the layers like an onion to get to the core of reality. Like an onion, it may bring you to tears.

Better than a survey – we parents have just handed you something much more valuable. We have given you the key to the truth. May it guide your research and spur you to ethically and honestly report what we all know you will find.

Sincerely,

A mom

Welcome to the PITT weekly roundup where you’ll find a list of the week’s postings along with links to some of our favorite books, videos, social media, and podcasts. Please continue the fight against the harms of gender ideology by sharing.

Access to all PITT content is free. Our objective is to inform the public of the devastating impact of gender ideology on families through our personal experiences.

Quote of the Week from Forever My Boy: “Today, my heart is broken, my life is shattered. My boy is being erased by someone with a girl’s name. This new person has taken his place. “She” is different and not like my son at all. As transition has progressed, my son has faded away and slowly disappeared.”

PITT POSTS THIS WEEK:

Friday, July 17: Crazy Quotes

Thursday, July 16: An open letter to a runner

Wednesday, July 15: What are the facts regarding trans youth and suicide?

Tuesday, July 14: Lock Down

Monday, July 13: Forever My Boy

NEWS THAT CAPTURE IT

If the Democrats Actually Want to Win, This Is What They Have to Do, Guest Essay by Thomas Edsall, The New York Times, July 14 , 2026

In which the writer proposes the Democrats adopt the following re gender ideology. Unlikely to happen but the comments are interesting.

There are two sexes: men and women.

A man can claim an identify as a woman, and the same in reverse for a woman. They have every right to do so. Their claim should be respected and they should be protected from any form of discrimination for their choice.

Their claim does not, however, alter their biological sex.

Consequently, it is legitimate in areas such as sports where a transgender person would have a competitive advantage over non-trans people to bar such participation. Similarly, a claim to a sexual identity does not give a trans woman the right to incarceration in a woman’s prison.

Finally, the debate over gender affirming surgery and hormone treatments is fraught with contradictory assertions. For now, because there are credible scientific claims of irreversible harms, such treatments for those under 18 should be barred pending further study.

IMAGES THAT CAPTURE IT

ORDER PITT’S BOOK

Parents with Inconvenient Truths about Trans: Tales from the Home Front in the Fight to Save Our Kids, a compendium of some of the most compelling essays yet from PITT.

SHARE YOUR STORY

Have a story to share about gender ideology? Submit to Pitt@genspect.org

Sometimes, ya just gotta laugh…

In the uncertainty about the futures for our trans-identified children, it’s difficult to find a distraction from the darkness. But in some moments of reading the many online exchanges I’ve seen regarding trans ideology, there were times where I just had to laugh.

And laughing is OK.

Below is a collection of the most bizarre statements I’ve seen trans supporters use to justify their stance on the topic:

“The body turns testosterone into estrogen, and that’s why all those biker dudes end up with breast cancer.”

“No child gets hormones, unless their dad has ED [erectile dysfunction], forgets to wash his hands after injecting testosterone, and then touches his child.”

"A trans child is a child that experiences either gender dysphoria or gender euphoria for extended periods of time while either actively suppressing or expressing a gender that is not aligned with their biological sex and examined by professionals to ensure that this is the case."

"you're getting sex and gender confused, we're aren't females, real females but we're women. Just women that are male"

Help us build the list! What crazy explanations have you seen or heard from trans supporters in discussions about transgender ideology? Please add them in the comments.
 

Dear…,

I read with interest your experience of public criticism and shaming in the Guardian after your victory last month in the Prep League Finals girls’ 400-meter race. I’m truly sorry for the state of social media, which is frequently vicious and dehumanizing.

You are fully entitled to believe yourself to be a girl. If you’re like most other boys who think they’re girls from a very young age, I suspect that you were an effeminate little boy whose parents allowed you to engage in the fantasy play of preschoolers. Maybe they played along with you, concretizing what for most children is a phase into an “identity.”

In the United States, we’re blessed with a First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution that guards our liberty of speech, belief, and association. No one can compel us to say something we believe is false or to join a movement with which we disagree. An important lesson of growing up is that we’re all powerless to control the thoughts or speech of those around us. Just as you’re entitled to think of yourself however you like, so everyone else in the world is entitled to think and speak of you as they prefer. You may have to live with what you perceive as hostile or even vicious comments from others.

I suspect that your parents took you to see all the best specialists, who told them that you were at risk of self-harm or suicide if they didn’t use your chosen name and sex markers. Perhaps they were terrified that this was true. Or maybe they celebrated your special status as a “transgender child” as they allowed your natural puberty to be stunted. And why wouldn’t you believe the adults in your life? They clearly have all the answers and have the best of connections to the finest gender-affirming care for you.

You don’t want to hear this, but Lina, you are not a girl. You are a fourteen-year-old boy whose growth has been thwarted by powerful hormones, which may sterilize you and cause your penis to remain childlike. But girls are not boys whose puberty has been blocked, or boys with breast implants. Girls are not boys with small penises. Girls don’t have to take estrogen to go through their natural puberty to grow breasts and start their periods. They don’t have to take drugs to ovulate or conceive and bear children. They’re just girls who grow up to be women, as you are a boy who will grow up to be a man.

Everyone is born with a sex. None of us gets to choose it. We all have to live within the boundaries of what God or nature gives us. You might as well rail against heaven for having to breathe oxygen or eat nutritious food. It’s just the hardware you were born with as a male mammal. You are boy, and you will be a man soon—and that’s something to celebrate! It’s neither unkind nor hateful for other people to state this fact.

You currently are a very healthy and athletic boy—I urge you not to throw away the great gift of health and strength that you’ve been given. Please reconsider the medicalized pathway you’re on, which will likely end with you undergoing unnecessary cosmetic surgery and taking dangerous, life-shortening cross-sex hormones.

Like your transgender identity when you were a preschooler, I suspect that your essay in the Guardian was drafted and edited by your parents. Most fourteen-year-old boys, even at the best of private schools, don’t write with the passion or confidence of that essay, which does a tremendous job of articulating the extreme transgender policy preference on boys in girls and women’s sports. It’s personal and works effectively to humanize you. You’ll be able to write that way yourself eventually if you give yourself over to the process of growing up naturally. Learning to write takes time, attention, and lots and lots of rough drafts. Growing up is the same, with lots of mistakes and false starts.

As you’re still a teenager, I know that it’s difficult if not impossible for you to take the long view of life. But I urge you to consider what you want for yourself at age 20, 30, 40, and beyond. You come from a very distinguished family, so you must have some ambition to achieve something yourself. What do you most want to accomplish as an adult? Do you want to become a brilliant scientist, an astronaut or inventor, a physician or lawyer, a pastor, or a philosopher or literary scholar? Do you want to become a parent and raise children of your own? All of these achievements require your full health and strength in your early and middle years. These are the kinds of adult achievements that build on themselves only after years of study or effort. Beginning or continuing a medical pathway now will make these adult achievements much less likely for you.

An old cliché goes something like this: “the best time to have turned around was five- or ten hours/months/years ago. The next best time is right now.” You have the gift of youth and health now—please don’t waste them on an impossible dream. There are so many more realistic dreams you can achieve if you only return to what you know is true.

Signed,

The mother of a desister

There is a narrative that states if trans youth are not provided with transgender healthcare, suicide risk will increase. The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) in its latest standards of care (1) published in September 2022 state that transgender people are at increased risk of mental health issues, including suicidality, particularly if they face barriers to accessing genderaffirming care. The US Assistant Secretary for Health in 2022 stated that “Genderaffirming care is medical care. It is mental healthcare. It is suicide prevention care. It improves quality of life, and it saves lives. It is based on decades of study. It is a well-established medical practice”.(2)

However, is the trans youth-suicide narrative correct, what does the research say? WPATH believes this narrative to be factual and states it is scientifically proven. However the Cass Review 2024, which is the most up to date and thorough review of current transgender research, states there is a dearth of robust research in this field, that the current research is of a disappointingly poor quality and is ideologically rather than scientifically based.(3) The US Department of Health in 2025 also reviewed the research regarding transgender healthcare (2) and have come to a similar conclusion- that the majority of current research is unreliable.

So if the research pool is built on such shaky foundations (4) how do we know whether this narrative is fact or fiction? To investigate this narrative, I examined the outcomes of six long term historical follow up studies to see what they uncovered. These studies were produced in the Netherlands, Sweden, the United Kingdom, Denmark and Finland.

The strength of these studies lies in their ability to provide a clear before-and after perspective, and that they were published across a range of Western countries. However, most of these studies were initiated decades ago so are less likely to be, as the Cass Review claims, ideologically based’. They also have a significant number of participants in each study increasing the likelihood that the findings are generalisable. The number of participants in these studies ranged between 324 and 15,032, though the average number in each study was 5,667. The duration of each follow-up study ranged between five and 46 years with the average study running over about 31 years.

HOW WERE THESE STUDIES CONDUCTED?

The studies were follow-up in nature either reconnecting with trans participants or re-examining data after individuals had progressed through the transgender pathway. They re-evaluated a number of themes previously examined (at the beginning of the study) including suicidality. Participants ranged in age from as young as 11 at the time they entered treatment and joined the studies, to those in their late twenties and early thirties.

STUDY RESULTS

The Wiepjes 2020 study of 8,163 trans persons (5) over 45 years followed up contact every five years with its original participants. It found that over the period of the study there had been eight transgendered men (*TGM) complete suicide and 41 transgendered women (*TGW). The study suggested that the frequency of suicide for TGM was constant over time- meaning that the rate of suicide did not improve once transgendered healthcare began and was completed. They also stated that the rate of suicide for TGW did decrease over time, and that it decreased once transgendered healthcare began and was completed.

The de Blok 2021 study of 4,568 trans persons (6) over 46 years found that the TGW client group, post receiving transgendered healthcare demonstrated significantly higher rates of mortality by heart disease, lung cancer, HIV related death and by completed suicide compared to expected mortality rates in the general Dutch population. With TGM clients post receiving treatment there was also a higher ‘non-natural causes’ mortality rate (which includes completed suicide) compared to expected mortality in the general Dutch population.

The Dhejne 2011 study of 324 trans persons over 30 years (7) found that rates of attempted and completed suicides were significantly higher for these trans clients who received transgendered healthcare than expected rates for non transgendered peers. The most at-risk stage for these trans clients was post transgendered surgeries where the completed suicide rate was 19 times higher than non-trans peers. The number of clients in this pool, however, was the lowest of all the studies at 324 and may be less generalisable.

The Erlangsen 2023 study of 3,759 trans clients over 41 years (8) found there was 92 post treatment TGW suicide attempts and 12 completed suicides. These rates for suicide attempts and completed suicide were described as ‘significantly higher’ compared to the expected rates of the general population.

The Appleby 2024 study of 15,032 trans youth (from the Tavistock Clinic in London) over five years (9) found there were 12 completed suicides during this period of time. They stated that half of these people were aged over 18, when transgendered healthcare was well underway or complete, and half of the completed suicides when these youth were under 18 years of age and had started but not yet completed the transgendered healthcare process. These completed suicide rates were similar to the rate for age similar peers who had a mental health diagnosis but did not identify as trans- indicating that trans suicide rates may be influenced by the presence of mental health diagnoses that commonly co-occur. The study also stated that completed suicide rates were higher for trans youth than for age similar non trans youth and higher than age similar peers who did not have a mental health diagnosis.

The study found there was no increase in the rate of completed suicide or statistical change for trans youth in completed suicide post 2020 when there was less access to puberty blockers and cross sex hormones begun, despite predictions of a ‘suicide surge’ at this time. However, the study noted that where there was an increase, the rate of completed suicide in this group was the exposure to media reports stating that ‘there is a link between gender dysphoria and suicidality’- meaning that exposure to media messages suggesting they would or should experience suicidal thoughts or behaviours contributed to them developing such thoughts or behaviours.

The Ruuska 2024 study of 2,083 trans persons over 23 years (10) indicated that the average age of those entering their study was 18.5 years. This was the only study with a control group of Cis young adults of similar age, stage and from similar location. There were 16,643 in this control group. The study found there were 55 deaths in the study group over this 23-year span. Of those deaths, 20 were by completed suicide (36%). This indicated that compared to the control group, general mortality was 66% higher and death by suicide was 300% higher. That trans people who received transgender healthcare were significantly worse off compared to similar Cis peers. It indicated that receiving transgender healthcare increased the likelihood of experiencing suicidal thoughts and completing suicide.

CONCLUSION

One finding from this analysis that appeared to support the narrative that lack of access to transgender healthcare increases suicide risk comes from the Wiepjes (2020) study, which reported that suicide rates among TGW decreased over time - specifically after transgender healthcare was initiated and completed. However, other results from this study indicated that the rate of completed suicide for TGF’s did not change despite having received transgender healthcare. The four other studies without a control group also clearly indicate that there was no evidence of a reduction in suicidal behaviour from receiving transgender healthcare. They also highlighted an increase in ‘other’ mortality related to receiving transgender healthcare. The Ruuska (2024) study, which included a Cisgender peer control group produced an interesting conclusion, that over the duration of 23 years there was a 66% higher ‘other’ mortality rate and 300% higher completed suicide rate with trans clients. I think it is safe to state that the pro trans suicide narrative is at least tenuous and at most simply incorrect. This seems to fit with the Cass Reviews narrative that the significant majority of current transgender research is of a disappointingly poor quality and is ideologically rather than scientifically based. If you or someone you know is in need of support, please reach out to Lifeline on 13 11 14 (available 24/7 in Australia).

Author Jason Watson RN, MEd.

References

1. SOC8, WPATH. wpath.org/publications/soc8

2. opa.hhs.gov/gender-dysphoria-report

3. webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/ ukgwa/20250310143933/https:/cass.independentreview.uk/home/publications/final-report

4. theguardian.com/society/2024/apr/10/gender-medicinebuilt-on-shaky-foundations-cass-review-finds

5. Wiepjes 2020. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32072611

6. de Blok 2021. sciencedirect.com/science/ article/abs/pii/S2213858721001856

7. Dhejne, 2011. journals.plos.org/plosone/ article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0016885

8. Erlangsen, 2023. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37367977

9. Appleby, 2024. gov.uk/government/publications/ review-of-suicides-and-gender-dysphoria-at-thetavistock-and-portman-nhs-foundation-trust/reviewof-suicides-and-gender-dysphoria-at-the-tavistock-andportman-nhs-foundation-trust-independent-report

10. Ruuska, 2024. mentalhealth.bmj.com/content/ ebmental/27/1/e300940.full.pdf

For more on this author.

Just over 30 years ago, I gave birth to a baby boy. After careful thought, I had a couple of names picked out. After we met him, we gave him the name that fit him best. The love that I felt for this baby boy is impossible to put into words. I loved him more than life itself.

There were ups and downs and many bumps along the way, however, I loved being his mom. I enjoyed raising him and felt so close to him. I loved him and I felt he loved me. We would have long talks, even friendly debates about things we saw differently.

We played basketball together, watched Little Bear, went to the zoo, camping, picnics, bike rides, played games and had countless other special experiences that bonded and connected us. He was my little buddy.

Today, my heart is broken, my life is shattered. My boy is being erased by someone with a girl’s name. This new person has taken his place. “She” is different and not like my son at all. As transition has progressed, my son has faded away and slowly disappeared.

The face has changed; the voice is strange. Who is this person? “She” comes off as self-righteous and condescending. "She" is critical and accusatory. “She” pressures me to believe things I don’t believe and then calls me ignorant when I don’t conform.

Is this normal and healthy? My precious, sweet boy is gone. I feel confused, bewildered, overwhelmed, and a profound sense of loss and grief. In my quiet moments I tell myself that hormones and surgeries can never erase my son from my heart.

HE will always exist there. I will always love HIM. HE matters to me. I miss him.

Welcome to the PITT weekly roundup where you’ll find a list of the week’s postings along with links to some of our favorite books, videos, social media, and podcasts. Please continue the fight against the harms of gender ideology by sharing.

Access to all PITT content is free. Our objective is to inform the public of the devastating impact of gender ideology on families through our personal experiences.

Quote of the Week from The New World I Navigate: “Teachers, therapists, pediatricians. They’ve ALL affirmed her delusion that she can magically become a boy. And to a child, that’s powerful “evidence”.

PITT POSTS THIS WEEK:

Friday, July 10: Repost: There are no rules for “trans identifying” teens

Thursday, July 9: The Dreaded Extended Family Vacation

Wednesday, July 8: Shutting Down the School-to-Clinic Pipeline

Tuesday, July 7: The New World I Navigate

Monday, July 6: The Unfinished Parable

NEWS THAT CAPTURE IT

Supreme Court Allows States to Bar Transgender Athletes From Girls’ Sports, The New York Times, June 20 , 2026

The article leads with a photo of a sad teen-aged boy who’s “simple wish” (as his Mother describes it) to play the sport “she” loves was thwarted by the US Supreme Court. The NYT positions this as part of a national rollback of rights for transgender people. Several paragraphs in, the writer lays out the case that the lawyers for the states and the Trump administration made; that the participation of transgender female athletes threatens to undermine five decades of progress since the passage of Title IX. But then, because they can’t help themselves, the NYT adds how small percentage of Americans identify as trans. No comparable profile was provided of a girl who lost an award or a spot on a team or a scholarship because a boy took her place.

IMAGES THAT CAPTURE IT

Meet 7 Brave Trans Athletes Whose Dreams Were Crushed By The Supreme Court

ORDER PITT’S BOOK

Parents with Inconvenient Truths about Trans: Tales from the Home Front in the Fight to Save Our Kids, a compendium of some of the most compelling essays yet from PITT.

SHARE YOUR STORY

Have a story to share about gender ideology? Submit to Pitt@genspect.org

To all the parents whose kids are graduating and feel their high school or college years were taken from your kids………

My son started identifying as “trans” two and half years ago. For him, this opened up a new world. A world where he got everything his way and everything he thought he wanted—especially from educators. A world where his parents' suggestions or demands were trumped by affirming teachers and counselors. Why would he ever want to leave this cult?

In school he was the only one who did not have to abide by a dress code. When the dress code was formal attire for performances at school, he wore a sweatshirt with writing on it. He claimed no one cared. His parents cared. 

He would not turn in work on time or not always do the work. His teachers gave him extensions. Some assignments are even credited without doing them. Anything for the “trans” kid. How will this ability to get away with this, help him as an adult? The teacher won’t have to worry about that. But his parents will. 

He did not even have to show up for school. My son missed as many classes as he wanted. There was no policy about how many days missed. There used to be a policy about this. But not for my son. He stopped going to his first period so he could sleep in. He missed the entire last month of school. He still got As. It’s hard to get a kid to go to school when the school does not have the parents’ back. We stopped fighting with him about going to school because we knew there would be no consequences from the school, and we needed to maintain our relationship, or a glitter family would swoop him right up and take him away from us. 

He graduated today so thankfully he will be away from the affirming and harmful teachers and counselors. Did they think they were being kind? This is not kind. This is setting up a child for a troubled life. 

The school came between our son and us. The counselor even helped try and find my son new housing away from his “abusive” parents. His counselor even called the local LGBT center on his behalf to help him find housing, legal assistance, and medical coverage to start his “new” life. Luckily, my son did not follow through with this. We were deemed abusive because we did not want our son harmed by hormones and surgery. We wanted him to go into adulthood healthy. That was our abuse. 

But, the way I see it, the abuse is the other way around. We—the parents—are being abused. We have tried to stay calm and loving to see if our son can figure out the real truth. Meanwhile, our son was granted permission to treat his parents badly by the teachers and counselors at school. Our parenting was undermined by our child thinking that his parents don’t know best. Who taught this to him? The state has decided to take over raising our child…but who will be there when this kind of action doesn’t go well when he’s an adult. That’s right—only us, his parents.

Today, at the graduation ceremony, this abusive school called out the girl name as he walked up to get his diploma. That was not the picture I had in mind when he started school. My husband and I couldn’t even clap. We sat quietly, stunned. The school took his name away from us too. The school put his girl name in the yearbook. Will he regret this one day? We couldn’t stop it. We, the parents have no voice.

Our son did not want to make plans with us for graduation. All his friends will be with their families. His friends won’t even come to our house. We are deemed unworthy because we are not on board with him taking hormones. Drugs that will sterilize and take away his sexual function. We are the enemy for not wanting this for him. This is not the child I raised, and I know he can’t help it. He’s been indoctrinated. I long for the kid I know to come back. His parents will be here when he does.

No matter the outcome, we will be blamed. That’s what happens when the state takes over raising your kid. They create no rules for teens. There are no boundaries. Turns out that the state is a horrible, enabling parent. They let their children rule the roost, and the consequences of this poor, permissive parenting will be paid by our children, someday, and by us parents, today. I wonder how this will play out? Schools used to graduate seniors with the ability to emerge gracefully into adulthood. That’s certainly not how it’s working for my child.

My husband and I have not directly told my mother, nor my sister and her husband, about our youngest’s trans declaration at age 13. She is now 20 years old, with an autism and ADHD diagnosis. I am sure they have an inkling about the trans but nothing has ever been discussed (per her request including that I not tell dad, haha, I could only keep it from him for a few months). What that offers us is a home life where we still call her Kathy* and not Max** and family vacations where my grief is never discussed amongst all the other intuitive topics that come up and feed my INTJ1 soul the only way conversation and vacation can.

My grief is lonely.

So much pretending on all parts so that, now that I am home, I am exhausted.

As I reflect on the extended family vacation of which included my sister, her husband and their three kids with their eldest’s new spouse, my mom, and our immediate family with the two older brother’s new girlfriends- 14 people in total. My enneagram #12 is “shoulding” all over myself. I should have bought more snacks and sunscreen, structured more activities, gotten up earlier, asked more questions, finished more books on the beach, had more alone time, journaled, exercised, said the prayer at mealtime, made Kathy do more, played pickleball when asked, rested more, said yes to going out with my husband on the last night, and in general made every moment count. But I thought I did. I love my sister and her family. So why can’t I see that we made every moment count? Comparison is the thief of joy and being around 13 other people for a week, I am afraid comparison was in my face all the time and my sister’s family looked perfect. All my imperfections were glaring. My sister married into a rich family; her kids seemed to be doing the “right” age-appropriate things; they seemed to be having fun; and we didn’t have bonding moments all the time or really at any time as we were too busy “relaxing”.

Sometimes when you are dealing with something in secret, you don’t fully feel a part of the laughter and fun around you. And I should have been grateful for what we had but the vacation felt hollow.

I can see now that there were very few vulnerable moments, which is many times how bonding happens. I should know better - everyone is dealing with something. My mom shared one vulnerable moment with me in an hour-long intuitive conversation and it was the highlight of my vacation. It is possible that no one else in my extended family has the same type of intuition as me and my mom (INFJ enneagram #4) but it is also possible that there were other sufferings in secret and vacation is a chance to put the grief on a shelf for a bit. With my daughter in front of me NOT living her best life it was hard not to take the grief off the shelf and stare at it. Kathy only engaged at mealtimes, a couple playful afternoons in the pool and with me when she had two panic attacks. She lamented not having a space to herself but I secretly liked that she was always in the living room and not holed up in her bedroom like her cousin. You see, her cousin around the same age is ripe for trans influencing. A loner who doesn’t fit in, so she claims she doesn’t like people. She reads a lot of books but is also online a lot, dropped out of college and lives alone with a menial job. She would live at home but she feels enormous pressure from her parents to well, just get up early in the morning like they do. We only saw her at mealtimes too and the occasional outing. It is hard not to wonder how my kid got sucked into trans and my sister’s kid did not. Personality types might be a factor as Kathy is a 6 and her cousin is a 5. Autism and ADHD could be a factor even though her cousin may have ADHD or even be Autistic. Actually, looking at this vacation, I am not sure trans matters right now as it is hard to tell the difference. Her cousin is NOT living her best life either, although she thinks she is and I am pretty sure my sister is grieved about her daughter even though she tries not to be. My pity for my niece and the vulnerability from mom helped my grief feel less lonely.

It got me thinking about Gen Z (all of our kiddos are Gen Z) and how the rise of the smart phone and social media has caused a mental health crisis, especially for girls.3Again, why these girls? Or are all the pretty girls drowning in anxiety too? Comparison is the thief of joy multiplied by 1000 using the internet. Kathy and her cousin know they are not doing “woman” the right way so they hide themselves even on vacation.

Reading this back, it is hard not to rank the suffering. Mine seems trivial when compared to my mom’s or her friends’ or even most people who write to PITT: death of a spouse and now alone, cheated on by a spouse and now alone, our children who got sucked into a cult and in the trans cult - medicalize, death of a daughter or son and an ache that never leaves you alone, special needs son or daughter living at home for the rest of their lives, dealing with brain cancer or any cancer, etc. Maybe my sister would tell me to move on and Kathy is going to do what she wants to do as an adult so let her. That’s not fair - I don’t know what she would say because I’ve never told her the truth. I really don’t want to burden her or my mom with this heartache.

Like my autistic daughter, I study patterns. The pattern I noticed most on vacation was how we handle grief that never leaves even while on vacation. My mom journaled, exercised, got up early and prayed, and tended to the needs of her loved ones around her grateful to be on this vacation. My sister just let her daughter be alone so I wonder if she is just stuffing her grief or just taking care of herself. I left Kathy to her own schedule as well but I did not know what to do with my grief and it tainted my relaxation. There is no wrong way to vacation (just like there is no wrong way to be a woman) but I am not a fan of ignoring or putting grief on a shelf and I really need to admit my feelings at least to myself. Especially, and here is the crux of the matter, especially when my child was influenced by a sick society and a school culture that allowed this wrongthink to persist in children. I just want to kick someone’s ass. I wonder if there is a vacation for that. And if my extended family knew the truth, I think they might want to go with me.

Starred Notes:

Kathy* not her real name

Max** not her real “chosen” god-awful boy name never uttered at home

More from the author:

First PITT article: Please Don’t, also published in PITT Volume 2 p.188

Second PITT article: Please Don’t part 2: Autism

Republished with permission from DIAG.

As lifelong Democrats, we have long championed public education as a cornerstone of democracy, a vehicle for equality, and a means to empower future generations. But, we at Democrats for an Informed Approach to Gender (DIAG) are increasingly alarmed by the encroachment of gender identity ideology on our major institutions, including our public schools—a development that compromises student well-being, undermines parental rights, exposes students to anti-science dogma, and politicizes the classroom.​

Impact on student well-being

Children as young as four years old are being taught in school that “gender” is a fluid construct, disconnected from biological sex. This concept isn’t based in fact and isn’t verifiable. Gender identity ideology—the elevation of this sense of self over the objective reality of binary sex—is a belief system, similar to religion, and has no place in school curriculum. Yet in some districts, this anti-science, pseudo-religion has been inserted throughout the student environment.

Key to the ideology is that a child can be born in the wrong body—the impossibility of a brain that doesn’t match the other organs or structures. Young children are learning not to trust their senses—that the person they innately know to be male is female, that they themselves may not be what they perceive. This induced confusion can be particularly destabilizing during formative years, causing behavior problems and other symptoms of distress. Ideas about an innate sense of sex separate from the body are reinforced and normalized through repeated questions about “gender” and “preferred pronouns.”

Educators use graphics, such as “The Gender Unicorn” (created by activists), to introduce the idea that one can have a “gender identity” separate from biological sex and encourage students to question fundamental aspects of biology. These graphics not only introduce terminology that is misleading but raise concerns about age appropriateness. Introducing abstract concepts as fact negatively influences students’ perceptions of reality. Students drawn to the idea of an alternate persona will be encouraged to explore and proclaim a new “gender identity.”

Supporting the ideology, not the student

“Gender support plans” allow students to require that others call them by new names and opposite sex, ambiguous, or novel pronouns, and to access facilities aligned with their self-proclaimed “gender identity.” The impact on other students is significant: compelled speech and thought, compromised safety for girls, dignity for both girls and boys, and shaming for those who don’t comply. In some jurisdictions, policies explicitly instruct educators to withhold information from parents regarding the “social transition” of their child at school, maintaining separate communications that hide their child’s new persona in an abundance of manufactured caution. This secrecy not only violates the trust between parents and educators, it creates conflict within the family that parents may not even be aware of. Adopting the idea that parents are inherently “unsafe” removes the child’s most consequential source of support and places children at risk of increased instability and vulnerability.

Moreover, because influential sources are promoting the idea that suicide is an expected outcome for youth who are denied “gender affirming” medical interventions—an idea that children come to believe—hiding a child’s confusion about sex-based reality from parents creates a dangerous situation where parents cannot provide their at-risk children crucial mental health support. School “gender support plans” are the antithesis of the healthy, transparent communication between schools and families that has long been understood as critically important, especially when addressing a child’s mental distress.

Data from 2024 show more than 1,000 public school districts in 38 states and the District of Columbia authorized or required “gender support plans” that withhold the “gender identity” information of minor students from their parents. With these districts encompassing 18,658 schools and 11 million students, “gender support plans” are more common than they are rare.

Misguided compassion

While often viewed as a compassionate approach, emerging research suggests that social transition is a significant intervention. Dr. Hilary Cass, who led a four-year independent review of the pediatric Gender Identity Development Service for England’s National Health Service, emphasized that social transition should not be considered a neutral act, as it may have substantial effects on a child’s psychological functioning. Studies indicate that children who undergo early social transition are more likely to maintain their self-proclaimed “gender identity” into adolescence, suggesting that such interventions may solidify, rather than alleviate distress.

Some schools refer students to external organizations or gender clinics, where medical interventions like opposite-sex hormones or puberty blockers are discussed. These damaging and largely irreversible interventions are not supported by credible evidence, as shown in the U.S. Health and Human Services’ umbrella review (2025) and in every quality evidence review conducted. Schools may also provide binders and opposite-sex clothing to use at school to keep parents from suspecting any issues. Experts understand that these actions put children on a dangerous path to an unattainable goal—changing their immutable sex. School staff are neither qualified nor mandated to initiate, facilitate, or participate in a significant psychosocial intervention, especially one with such dire consequences.

Impact of teaching ideology as fact

Children and adolescents, especially those who are rigid thinkers, are primed to accept the word of authority figures, and can be led quickly down the medical pathway, especially in states where the cutoff age for even minimal parent involvement in their child’s medical care is low. Once adolescents lock onto “gender” personas, relinquishing those identities can be very difficult to near impossible, due to a range of incentives, including increased attention and acceptance by peers, and disincentives, like claims of fakery or betrayal, or just the embarrassment of backtracking on a significant public claim. The result is a growing number of young desisters (those who adopted and subsequently rejected a “gender identity” persona) and detransitioners (individuals who regret undergoing body modification interventions to mimic the opposite sex) who attribute their decisions to the influence of school culture and curriculum. Their experiences underscore the harm in teaching children that their lack of alignment with sex stereotypes is more significant than biological reality.

A nonpartisan concern

Safeguarding vulnerable youth from harm transcends political affiliations. It is neither a left nor right issue but an ethical one. Parents from across the political spectrum are expressing concern over the lack of transparency and the psychological harm to children that results from teaching the pseudo-religious belief system of gender identity ideology. As Democrats, we must not shy away from questioning policies that inadvertently harm the individuals we aim to protect. Advocating for parental involvement and reality-based education rooted in fact is not a betrayal of progressive values but a reaffirmation of our commitment to the well-being of all students.

For more information on DIAG.

It’s my youngest daughter’s 16th birthday tomorrow. What she really wants most for her birthday is testosterone. Because we’ve had this battle before, usually ending in tears for both of us, she doesn’t ask me for “T” for her birthday this year. Instead she settles for the other front runners on her list of things she wants most in the world:

1. Five Nights at Freddy’s collector figure set $99

2. A Five Nights at Freddy’s Pillow Pet (Foxy to be specific) $35

3. Athletic basketball shorts: Adidas. $25 (I’m guessing cuz they’re comfortable asf. And because they’re from the Boys section)

It’s the first year she hasn’t asked for silly putty or sparkly slime. Or Lego’s. Or stuffed animals. Although I feel like the foxy pillow pet kinda still counts.

I can only refer to her as “her” and “she” when I’m not around her. Or when I’m writing in my journal. Like now. But it always has to be “he” and “him” when I’m speaking to her/him. Or when I’m being observed/overheard by my ‘Little Hitler’ who will bring the hammer down on me swiftly and without room for error should I slip.

God forbid I ever utter the dreaded “deadname”: Eliana. The name I gave her when she was born. Soon thereafter to take various forms over the years: “Ellie”, “Jellybean or EllieBean”, or sometimes just “bean”. Or “peanut”, or “peanut pie-face” (not sure where I came up with that one-it is kinda weird. Lol)

At 16, she is old enough to drive a car but she can’t vote. She’s not considered mature enough to drink alcohol or to be allowed inside certain businesses or venues without a parent or guardian present. But according to most of the medical professionals in this country, she is old enough to take cross-sex hormones that will alter her body permanently. And she’s old enough to make the decision to have her healthy body parts removed (as long as a parent consents). And my ex-husband, her father, consents. He even tried to go behind my back and get her testosterone without it showing up on the insurance that covers the kids which I pay for through my employer. I am the only person standing in the way. I am the only person protecting my child, even if it’s from herself. Which makes me the enemy. She’s lived full time with her father the past two years because “I don’t support her…errr him.” I’m being punished. She thinks that if she doesn’t come home, if she shuns me, that I’ll fold; that I’ll give in and give her what she so badly thinks she wants right now - testosterone. But what she fails to see is that I LOVE her so much that I will endure the pain of physical separation from her rather than do that. Because that’s what a Mother does. That’s what a parent who loves their child more than they love themselves, does.

And it seems that the politically correct world has all drank the Kool-Aid. And the rest of us, who ask ourselves if the whole world has gone mad, just sit back stunned and shamed into silence. I’ve had seemingly intelligent professionals affirm my daughter as my son behind my back and in front of my face, knowing full well how I feel about it. Teachers, therapists, pediatricians. They’ve ALL affirmed her delusion that she can magically become a boy. And to a child, that’s powerful “evidence”. I want to SCREAM at them “You don’t even know my child!!” But I know my child. In fact, I’ve known her nine months longer than ANYONE in this world. And she has never shown any signs while growing up that she felt like a boy trapped in a girl’s body. That is, until age 12, when she announced she was gay which was not a surprise-those signs had been there. And we embraced her, waving the rainbow flag in easy support of that declaration. But a couple of weeks later, she learned from the Internet what the word transgender means. And then, with a few questioning searches, social media, Tumblr, Tik Tok and god- knows what other content the algorithm provided all of the confirmation that a 12-year-old confused kid going through puberty needed.

Even science proves that her frontal lobe (the part of the brain that governs logic, reasoning and the ability to grasp long term consequences) isn’t fully developed until age 25, at best. But hey, what is science in the face of political agenda and ideology?! So I gratefully take the crumbs that she still allows me to have. While she won’t come home, she still Facetimes me almost daily. Despite her initial intentions to fully shut me out, my baby still needs her mama. And I find my only peace in that. Because somehow, despite the efforts by the rest of the (politically correct) world and her father in their mission to make me into a terrible mother in her eyes, they cannot fully break our bond. And one day, she will see the truth and I will forgive her easily because she is an innocent VICTIM in all of this madness and selfishness. And she is a Child. Who still wants toys and stuffed animals for her birthday.

Someone once told me, “Love builds a bridge over which truth can travel”. So, for now, I just continue to love my child and hope that one day she comes back to me. That one day she comes back to herself.

I’m struggling with something I am ashamed to be struggling with, so I am looking for the catharsis of confession.

By way of backstory, my daughter identifies as a man. Christmas was the last time I saw her and she was clearly a mess. She’s still on our insurance so I know that since starting on testosterone she had been prescribed a cascade of medications to manage the side effects. (SSRIs, benzos, sedatives, antipsychotics - the usual dangerous cocktails). Her coping skills were tanked and you could tell at Christmas she could barely handle being out of her house. Sometime between Christmas and New Year’s, she blocked every single member of her family. I texted every day for a month, determined not to give up on her. Then, I joined Substack to connect with other families who were in this same boat.

I changed. I stopped viewing her the same. To protect myself from the sting of her rejection, I stopped seeing her as my daughter and started seeing her as the grotesque ideology that took away my daughter. When people would ask about her, I would no longer lie or protect her - I would say she is doing terribly and the trans cult is ruining her life. And it was true - even by Christmas she was telling us she was “disabled” needed a lifetime of government assistance and hadn’t had a job since spring of 2024. The testosterone was ruining her health and the cascade of side effects was disabling her. This was the story I lived in, to process and grieve my daughter. I thought about it every single day, turning my loss into an angry wall of “Guess it sucks to suck.”

Over the last six months, every other family member has been unblocked except me. I get that. I loom largest. I really was the one closest with her. I was the most vocal about the dangers of this lifestyle. My career is closely involved with de-prescribing medications, so I also intimately understood the side effects of the meds she was taking. The implied “I told you so” would scream in her ears with me.

And I am female. Her female example. I know the exact traumatic event that I experienced that drove her away from ever wanting to be a woman.

But now she wants to come to a family dinner…

….

And I’m not happy. *Exhales*

There is a story in the Bible about the prodigal son. He turns his life to crap and comes back to his father’s house. The older son, heir to everything is hurt because everyone is celebrating and he can’t find it in his heart to celebrate too. His dad rightly points out that the older son has EVERYTHING - competence, an inheritance, a life that’s not a mess, and that the older son needs to celebrate this return. The story is enduring because both sons need to repent.

What the story never says is what happens after the feast. Does the prodigal son really return? Or does he get his belly full and leave again? Does the prodigal ever change? Become a capable functioning human? Or is that never the point of the story?

And the elder brother - how does the elder brother put this wall of hurt down and just celebrate that the brother has returned if even for a time? Or does he stew the whole meal wondering if a bomb is about to go off?

I don’t even know how the elder brother would act. I’m only beginning to realize how awkward that feast truly was.

My daughter is not repentant. She’s just hungry. In past readings of the prodigal son, I always took for granted that the son was repentant. But the narrative never actually says that. He’s just broke and hungry. Yet the father still celebrates the return.

It was easy to see the elder brother as the villain of the story. Stop being so petty! But I am finding it hard to take my own advice here. I’m mad. I’m sad. I’m scared. And I’m repulsed by what she’s done to herself. I’ve not arrived at the happy moment that others have the luxury of feeling, because it’s not as personal for them. Yet, here comes the feast…