PITT Parents,

Please use the draft letter below as a springboard to write your own version, calling upon insurance companies and medical institutions to stop the harmful practices of removing healthy body parts from minors in the name of what is euphemistically referred to as “gender affirming care.” Speak up, be brave, and be bold. We are the only thing standing between our children and those who stand to profit from their destruction.

In recent news, Kaiser Permanente announced they will stop providing gender-affirming surgeries for minors releasing this statement: “After significant deliberation and consultation with internal and external experts including our physicians, we’ve made the difficult decision to pause surgical treatment for patients under the age of 19 in our hospitals and surgical centers,” the nonprofit health care system said in a statement Wednesday.”

One of the biggest health care providers in the U.S. has finally come around to understand the implications of what they are doing. Whether it’s because of the directives of the new administration, the release of recent studies (Cass Review) or because they have developed a conscience (most unlikely), now is the time to reach out to others and warn them. Gender affirming care is not health care - it the chemical sterilization and surgical mutilation of confused, captured and mentally ill children and young adults. And it must stop.

Draft letter…….

Dear Kaiser Permanente et al,

Immediately Cease the Irreversible Harm You Are Inflicting On Our Children!

I am writing as a member, a parent, and as a concerned citizen, to express profound alarm over your corporation’s practice of performing irreversible procedures on otherwise healthy minors, while your in-house therapists label concerned mothers and fathers as “toxic” for exercising basic parental judgment, often encouraging our children to estrange themselves from loving, protective parents in order to pursue ideologically driven medical destruction without parental advocacy. Your policies betray medicine’s first duty: primum non nocere—first, do no harm!

You have become one of the leading organizations to remove healthy reproductive organs from children who lack adult judgment. No amount of euphemistic language—“gender‑affirming,” “top surgery,” “care pathways”—hides the truth that you have amputated healthy reproductive organs from children for profit. While you have recently promised to “pause” these procedures for individuals under the age of 19 by the end of August, you continue to prescribe puberty blockers that stunt bone density, and administer cross‑sex hormones that permanently sterilize kids who cannot legally buy cough syrup. These procedures are irreversible; the remorse statistics you bury in footnotes do not erase the regret these children will feel when adulthood clarifies what adolescence could not.

You have also weaponized mental‑health professionals to sever families that do not affirm this medical mayhem. Your therapists have told our children that their parents are “unsafe,” “toxic,” and “controlling” merely because we’ve asked for a second opinion and more time to educate ourselves or permit our children to grow into themselves. They coach our children to go “no contact” with the very parents who have loved, fed, and sheltered them from birth for simply asking questions or expressing concerns. They have weaponized therapy to emotionally blackmail and gaslight frightened parents into compliance, or risk losing their children altogether—if not by means of the misrepresented and discredited suicide statistics, by risk of estrangement. That is overt manipulation masquerading as therapy, and it is an ethical disgrace.

You continue to ignore emerging evidence and global medical consensus shifts. Sweden, Finland, and the U.K. have sharply curtailed or paused these interventions on minors after systematic reviews found weak evidence of benefit and significant risk of harm.Your continued acceleration of surgeries and hormone regimens—chasing revenue while other nations pull the emergency brake—suggests profit, not patient welfare, has been the primary drive of your decisions.

You are courting massive legal and financial liability. Families are coordinating with one other, medical‑ethics attorneys, and whistle‑blowing clinicians to pursue every civil remedy available. As today’s “patients” realize they were fast‑tracked to irreversible procedures without mature informed consent, they will sue. When discovery reveals communications prioritizing market share or ideological conformity over medical prudence, juries will punish. Your current profits will pale beside those judgments!

But you still have a choice. Immediately:

1. Suspend all irreversible medical interventions on minors except in the clearest cases of congenital anomaly or life‑threatening pathology, including puberty blockers and hormones.

2. Establish independent, parent‑inclusive ethics panels—free of financial or ideological conflicts—to review each pediatric case with parental involvement.

3. Retrain or replace therapists who coach children to cut off loving, concerned families.

4. Commit to transparent, long‑term outcome tracking and publish all data, good or bad.

Following are summaries and links to the systematic reviews and official assessments from Sweden, Finland, and the United Kingdom regarding medical interventions for minors with gender dysphoria:

Sweden:

Swedish Agency for Health Technology Assessment and Assessment of Social Services (SBU) – 2022

In 2022, the Swedish SBU conducted a comprehensive systematic review on hormone treatments for children and adolescents with gender dysphoria. The review concluded that the evidence supporting the efficacy and safety of such treatments is of low quality. Specifically, it found a lack of reliable data on the psychosocial effects of hormone therapy in this population. Consequently, the SBU recommended that these treatments be considered experimental and only provided within the context of clinical research.

Reference:

https://www.sbu.se/en/publications/sbu-assesses/hormone-treatment-of-children-and-adolescents-with-gender-dysphoria/

Finland:

Council for Choices in Health Care in Finland (COHERE Finland) – 2020

COHERE Finland published guidelines in 2020 emphasizing a cautious approach to treating minors with gender dysphoria. The guidelines recommend prioritizing psychological interventions over medical treatments, such as hormone therapy or surgical procedures. Medical interventions are advised only in exceptional cases and should be based on thorough individual assessments.

Reference:

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11930-023-00358-x

United Kingdom:

The Cass Review – 2022

Commissioned by NHS England, the Cass Review, led by Dr. Hilary Cass, conducted an independent assessment of gender identity services for children and young people. The review highlighted that existing clinical guidelines are not sufficiently evidence-based and that the quality of evidence supporting medical interventions, such as puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones, is poor. It recommended a more holistic and individualized approach to care, emphasizing psychological support and cautioning against the routine use of medical treatments in minors.

Reference:

https://webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/ukgwa/20250310143642oe_/https://cass.independent-review.uk/

These reviews underscore the importance of evidence-based practices and caution in the medical treatment of minors with gender dysphoria.

If you refuse to protect our children from this mayhem, please understand that parents like me will not be silenced, and we will not forget. We will withdraw our business, rally our communities, lobby legislators, and expose your practices in every forum—from statehouses to shareholder meetings—until this medicalized barbarism ends entirely!

I urge you to remember why the public once trusted your white coats: physicians were guardians, not activists, and certainly not sales teams for irreversible surgeries and off-label use of pharmaceutical drugs for confused teenagers and young adults. Restore that trust. Halt the harm now. Return to the most basic precept of medicine:

First, do no harm!

Sincerely,

One of many deeply concerned but determined parents

Dear Son,

I’m writing this letter with sincerity and love — not judgment. These words aren’t easy for me to say, but I want to share how I’m feeling about our family’s situation and why, right now, it’s so difficult for me to be around you. Please know that these feelings come from a place of deep sorrow — not rejection.

You’ve been going through something significant, and I can see how seriously you're embracing your identity. But I’m deeply concerned that you're navigating this path without the guidance of someone who will ask the hard, necessary questions — not just affirm what you feel in the moment. Just like with any serious medical or psychological issue, I believe in careful evaluation. If someone walked into a hospital saying they were having a heart attack, doctors wouldn’t rush them into surgery without tests. They would investigate, explore the causes, and make sure they understand the root cause of the problem and respond appropriately. You deserve that same kind of thoughtful care — but right now, you're unwilling to explore your feelings with that kind of openness.

I understand that you feel certain of who you are, and I respect your desire for self-understanding and meaning. But I’ve also noticed that how you’re presenting yourself seems to be making it harder for others to connect with you — whether it’s in finding a job, forming lasting relationships, or simply being taken seriously in public. You're in a relationship now with someone who accepts you as you are, but if that were to end, your dating pool could become very limited. These are not criticisms — they are concerns about how the choices you're making now could affect your long-term happiness and stability.

As your mother, I also want to share something deeply personal. As a woman, it is incredibly painful to see men adopt what they believe are “feminine” traits, clothing, or mannerisms and call that womanhood. To me, it feels like a caricature — like our lived experiences, our biology, our lifelong struggles are being reduced to a performance or aesthetic. I don’t say this to hurt you. I say it because my womanhood was not chosen — it has been lived, in body and soul — and when I see someone attempt to replicate it externally, it feels like a wound. Not just for me, but for all women — including your grandmother, aunts and sister.

There is something else I have struggled to explain. Being asked to use a new name and new pronouns feels like I’m being forced to say something I simply don’t believe is true. It’s like being expected to live in an Orwellian world, where I’m asked to deny what I see with my own eyes. Imagine if I came home one day and said, “I’m a toaster now. Please call me Breville and treat me like one.” You would know I’m not a toaster — and being expected to play along would feel surreal, maybe even sad. That’s how it feels to me. I am not mocking you — I’m trying to explain how painful it is to be asked to override my own perception of reality just to make others comfortable.

And finally, the most difficult truth to admit: when I see you dressed this way — in a bra and with fake breasts and very odd clothing — it hurts me so deeply that sometimes I have to pull away. It’s not because I’ve stopped loving you. It’s because I feel like I’m watching you slowly disappear into something that is harming you — something that could limit your future, isolate you, and leave you broken-hearted. That kind of pain is unbearable. Sometimes, being near you like this is too much, because it reminds me of how far we are from the path I believe would allow you to flourish.

Please hear this not as rejection, but as grief — deep, overwhelming grief and it is because I love you more than anything in this life. You are such a kind, loving, intelligent soul. Watching you achieve incredible success in a challenging engineering program filled me with pride for my darling boy. You had such a bright future ahead of you. I am grieving for the version of your life that could have been bigger, freer, and healthier.

I love you endlessly. I want you in my life — even when we don’t agree but watching my beloved son self-destruct is a pain I can no longer bear. It is breaking my heart.

With love always,

Mom

Our wee girl is 19 years of age now, so legally an adult I suppose. She is a great person, good soul, an animal lover, hugely creative, a multi-talented musician, very artistic always working on something.

She is also autistic. She spoke only jargon until early primary school. While she's very articulate now, she can still struggle to speak with people. She was hugely outgoing as a child, full of beans, hilarious, loved Disney princesses, Monster High dolls and practically lived in a Tinkerbell dress and fairy wings. If you tried to put those wings in the wash, she would fish them out of the basket and put them on again. She grew butterflies, looked after animals, practiced ballet, sang in the girls’ choir, knitted, crocheted, loved everything girly and wanted to marry David Hasselhoff because he was in the SpongeBob movie.

She was diagnosed autistic at nine years of age. She had a few friends at school, all female, but as her autism grew more apparent, they pretty much abandoned her. She was a lonely, wee soul for a long time.

As her teen years came on, she became very introverted and could barely speak to anyone. Even up until last year, she couldn't go into a shop and ask for anything or go on a bus by herself. Although she is 19 years old now, she is very young for her age. We would put her closer to about 14. She's never kissed a boy or a girl and doesn't even know which she prefers yet.

She started high school. To describe it as a pro-trans school would be an understatement. There are trans flags on the walls and corridors, rainbow lanyards everywhere and, as a result, many of the pupils identified as trans or non-binary. Our daughter joined a band with two other girls from her class, both who had changed their names and who presented as boys. They'd all been friends through childhood so we left her to it. She would come back from rehearsals muttering about "heteros" or "the patriarchy" but not ranting on a soapbox or anything typical of the TRAs, just wee bits here and there, very subtle. But she was obviously hearing the sermons during band practice.

Then she would start crocheting trans flags for her pals and making drawings of Dylan Mulvaney. She started watching a FTM Youtuber called Jammie Dodger, but she kept this all from us. She became very secretive, but that's always been a teenage thing, so we didn't pry. Just before turning 16, she came out to us with her trans announcement. I think she was expecting hearts and rainbows, like an episode of Heartstopper, when she told us she wanted to be a boy, but it didn’t go that way. Instead, we told her she wasn't a boy, that she was just going through puberty and experiencing all of the turmoil a teenage girl typically goes through. But, because navigating even a normal everyday experience is like climbing a mountain for her, the trials and tribulations of being in a female body experiencing sensory overload during periods or bodily development is amplified turned up to 11 for an autistic girl. We knew, if she could just ride it out and not do anything foolish, she would come out the other end unscathed.

She assured us she only wanted to pass as a boy, that she didn't want surgery or hormones, she just wanted to pass. She already dressed boyishly by this time and she's very tall, with a deep husky voice she inherited from her Mum, so we said congratulations you already pass. She was really disappointed our reaction wasn't the one she hoped for, so she didn't say any more about it, and just became even more withdrawn.

About six months later she said she wanted to change her name. Mum said no because we chose that name for her. She said no more about it.

Then I read online about a website called Thoughtful Therapists, a group of medical professionals fighting against gender ideology. We contacted them and they put us in touch with a lovely doctor who spent a few sessions chatting with our daughter. They got on well but, after a while, she decided she didn't really need to speak to anyone anymore. However, more on the good doctor in a minute.

Over the next few weeks, her confidence grew. She started hanging out with other folk from school, playing in a new band, got accepted to university to study Sound Design, her dream job. She started going into shops, going on busses everywhere on her own or with her pals. Everything was going great. Happy days! Until...

About a month ago, a letter arrived home from the Waterside Gender Clinic in Edinburgh, addressed to "Logan" but it was for our daughter, which is how we came to find out she had been seeking gender reassignment. The letter was giving her the green light to begin taking cross sex hormones with a view to getting a double mastectomy afterwards, followed by removal of her reproductive organs and whatever other surgical procedures they might have in store for her.

She had gone there unbeknownst to us. They'd spoken to her without consulting us or her GP or any of the medical professionals who have been dealing with her since she was a baby. This gender doctor's diagnosis barely mentioned her autism. There was a brief mention that her uncles "had experience of DVT", deep vein thrombosis. That is putting it mildly. Deep vein thrombosis is what killed her uncle at a young age. Her other uncle almost died of it last Christmas and is lucky to be alive today. Three of my cousins tested positive for it. I didn't but it is a huge risk factor in our family and I think the clinic downplayed that just as much as they did her autism. The short session she spent speaking with this doctor at the clinic just looked to me like a box ticking exercise.

She'd spun them a yarn about always feeling she was a boy, which isn't true at all. We have plenty of pictures and videos of her as a kid, happily running around in her manky, soup-stained Tinkerbell costume, playing with all her girly toys. She told them she played WWE Wrestling with her big brother. Her brother is an LGBT ally. He supports her with her gender issues but even he admitted the wrestling story wasn't true and acknowledges she was very much a girly girl. She told the clinic she wore her brother's hand-me-downs. Once she became a teen, she did start wearing his old, checkered shirts, just like pretty much every other teenager wears, girls and boys both. But any hand-me-downs she wore as a child came from her female cousin or from her Mum, not her brother.

The rest of the letter spoke of "Logan and he/his" bodily discomfort and "his" expressed desire to attain a masculine body. After briefly meeting with her, in a few short paragraphs, they recommended her for male hormones with a view to getting her breasts and reproductive organs removed, and whatever other procedures might come after that.

Reading the letter was like getting hit by a train. It was totally out of the blue. We spoke to her for hours. She said all her friends were going out socialising, dating, all of the things everyone wants to do as a teen. But she refused to apply for an Over-18 ID because she couldn't even write her own name as it’s a constant reminder to her she is a girl. So, if she became a boy, she would become more confident with her body and herself and would be able to go out and experience some nightlife and maybe even meet someone.

We felt so hurt for her and tried to explain that what she was doing would have the opposite effect. It wouldn't give her any confidence, it would destroy her body and her life, and her dating pool would be practically non-existent. She wouldn't listen. She was about to begin hormones a couple of weeks ago but her Mum talked her out of it. We spent every minute we could trying to get her to see the reality of the situation. She was unhappy. The clinic ignored all of my attempts to contact them and tell them about the dangers of her taking cross sex hormones. I just kept telling them to leave her alone. Her mum cried all the time and none of us slept. But far more important, we only want health and happiness for all of our kids. Going down the gender path would be taking both of those things away from our daughter. Her Mum suggested speaking to our doctor pal from Thoughtful Therapists again.

Sadly, for us anyway, he had retired and was no longer practicing. But he hadn't forgotten about her, and he asked if we knew about Genspect and a survey they had published which deals very thoroughly with our daughter's type of situation

We downloaded it and read it. Please (if you've read this far down) download it and read it yourself. It has sections to be filled in by parents, friends and family, and a couple of pages of intense and thorough questions for the gender clinic to fill in as well. It lists all of the side effects from puberty blockers, cross sex hormones and all the medical procedures, then asks if you still think it’s the correct path for the patient to take. It also asks the clinic a lot of scientific and reason-based questions and delves into the Hippocratic side of their profession. It asks all of the questions that should have been asked during our daughter's gender diagnosis, and a whole lot more.

We printed off several copies, got family and friends to fill them in while we completed the Parents section, and sent them all off to the clinic in a big fat envelope. There was LOTS of information for them to read and questions to answer in the sections about "Possible Co-Existing Conditions" and the "Questions To The Clinic". We sent the whole thing by registered mail and also emailed them a digital scan of the survey. We copied every family member who had taken part and we copied Genspect as well.

That was last week.

After all our previous, fruitless attempts at communication with the gender clinic, three days after they received the Genspect Survey, we received this email from them:

"Thank you for your email and letter. Unfortunately, we are unable to complete the third party request. However, having gained relevant consent, we are able to provide a limited update on the patient in question. We can confirm in this case Waterside Clinic is not proceeding with hormone treatment and will no longer be providing any medical input for the patient. Please note, this is the extent of the information we can provide. We will not be able to respond to any further communication from yourself or other third parties."

They were just about to put our daughter on the gender treadmill, jab her with hormones, mutilate her body and destroy her life, and charge her a hefty sum for the privilege. But as soon as they realised it wasn't just a vulnerable autistic girl they were dealing with, but she had people on her side and in her corner, medical professionals higher up the food chain than anyone at the gender clinic, they decided that was it. They dropped our daughter like a hot tattie. They told her they could no longer treat her and if she wished to continue down the gender path she should contact the NHS.

Anyone reading this, please, if you feel lost and helpless, bewildered, like we've been feeling, please do what we have done, no matter what stage of the gender path your family member is on, even if they've been through everything. Send the survey to the clinic, fill it in, get friends and family to fill it in. Keep Genspect in the loop and let the clinic know that Genspect are concerned about the person too. They may not get their claws out of your child right away and legally they don't have to fill in the Survey, but it’s very much a question of "If not, why not?". When everyone was copied and the clinic knew all eyes are on them, that was all it took for them to let go of our daughter.

We knew the clinic had spoken to her to give her the news, so we left it for a few days. Then her Mum spoke to her and asked what was happening with the gender clinic. Our daughter replied that they told her to go to the NHS but, she's been thinking about it, and she wasn't too bothered about the clinic saying that to her, and she wasn't really too bothered about going down the gender path. She's been going to the gym, and she says that will help with her confidence, and she has applied for her Driver license, she even wrote her own name on the application, which is a very big deal, believe me. And she's looking forward to going out socialising, going to gigs and meeting people, instead of watching life pass her by.

We realise that this was a skin of the teeth situation and, if the clinic hadn't been foolish enough to post that letter to our house, we would have been none the wiser, and we'd be telling you a completely different story today. We are thankful, and we hope if even one person reads this and does what we did, it will make a difference to their family’s situation too.

I hope PITT will let us give you an update in a few years. You never know what's around the corner, and she's not out of the woods yet, but after years of stress and heartache and wondering how it will all pan out, it’s nice just to wake up and see a bit of sunshine again.

Earlier this year Genspect released The Gender Dysphoria Support Tool which includes The Family and Friends Survey and The Parental Survey. As highlighted in a prior PITT piece, the surveys were developed as a means to “invert the process and shift the burden of proof” regarding the efficacy of “gender affirming care” onto medical and mental health providers. Once completed, the surveys can be sent to individuals and organization such as health care providers, schools, hospitals, insurances companies, etc. to give them notice of parental concerns, and even to serve as evidence in potential lawsuits. The developer of this tool hopes it can also be a benefit to parents of older children who feel they have very little influence over decisions their child makes. The developer says, “I notice many parents just give in at the end, desperate, not knowing what to do anymore.” But he believes that parents can be influential by putting pressure on medical providers and insurance companies, especially now as lawmakers are formally accusing the AAP of violating consumer protection statues over claims that “gender affirming care” is safe and reversible.

Following is an example of a letter to an insurance company. Perhaps there are PITT parents who will want to send something similar to their own doctors, mental health providers, hospitals, or insurance companies.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to you as a health insurer because I have serious concerns about the diagnostic practices and reimbursement claims of gender clinics. There are strong indications that these clinics systematically fail to follow a rigorous diagnostic process. This raises concerns about potentially unjustified claims and, in some cases, possible misuse of healthcare funds.

Below, I present a case from the Netherlands. While the healthcare system may differ from country to country, this case highlights fundamental questions about how gender-related diagnoses are made, the role of parental observations, and whether these practices align with ethical and legal standards.

Case: Scientifically Substantiated Parental Observations Were Ignored

Attached to this letter, you will find a scientifically designed questionnaire that parents used to objectively assess whether their child was experiencing gender dysphoria. Eight direct family members completed this questionnaire yet none of them recognized any signs of gender dysphoria or transgender identity. Additionally, the family’s private doctor stated that the child’s self-reported identity was not reflected in their behavior or emotional expressions.

This information was provided to the treating gender clinic at Radboud Hospital. The clinical psychologist responsible for the diagnosis confirmed that the questionnaire was well-constructed and methodologically sound. This statement was recorded in an audio file, which has been handed over to a lawyer as evidence. However, despite acknowledging the validity of the questionnaire, the clinic ignored the parents’ concerns entirely. The questions raised in the questionnaire remained unanswered.

Months later, the parents learned from their son that the clinic had nevertheless issued a positive diagnosis. This decision directly contradicted the findings of the family assessment and the general practitioner’s observations. When asked about their reasoning, the clinical psychologist reportedly told the son: “We cannot truly diagnose because we lack the tools to diagnose. We can only follow the patient’s wishes.”

This raises serious concerns. The clinic itself admits that it lacks objective diagnostic tools, yet it disregarded an independently validated diagnostic instrument (The Family Questionnaire). Despite acknowledging this diagnostic gap, the clinic still issued a diagnostic code to justify treatment coverage. This raises significant medical and ethical questions:

1 - If a clinic cannot properly diagnose, on what basis can it assign a diagnostic code?

2 - How can a self-diagnosis be considered valid when counter-evidence exists from multiple family members and a medical professional?

A Critical Question for Gender Clinics

This case highlights an important issue: Why do clinics invite parents to provide their perspective if their input is ultimately ignored? Given these concerns, I urge you, as an insurer, to ask the gender clinics you work with the following key question:

3 - “Can you provide an example of a patient case where the family indicated that the patient’s self-assessment was incorrect and suspected alternative causes (such as autism, internalized self-hatred, or shame over homosexuality), and where the specialist adjusted the diagnosis based on the family’s assessment?”

I suspect that no such case exists. If this assumption is correct, it suggests that gender clinics systematically use diagnostic codes without critically evaluating all available information. It also implies that families are misled into believing their input matters when, in reality, it is disregarded.

Ensuring Medical and Ethical Integrity in Diagnoses

Bodily autonomy is a fundamental right, meaning individuals should have control over their own medical decisions. However, this right does not extend to receiving a medical diagnosis based solely on personal belief or preference. A medical diagnosis must be based on objective criteria and established medical evidence.

When a diagnosis is made without a factual foundation and is instead influenced by non-medical considerations, it can lead to misinformed medical decisions and inappropriate treatment. While families should not dictate medical diagnoses, these diagnoses should also not be made in isolation from broader medical and social contexts. This raises critical questions:

4 - On what objective basis did the clinical psychologist conclude that the family had a false perception of the situation?

5 - Are these findings more medically reliable than the general practitioner’s assessment and the results of a structured family evaluation?

Lack of Transparency and Risk of Unjustified Claims

As a health insurer, you do not have full visibility into the diagnostic process within a clinic. You only receive reimbursement claims for cases where a positive diagnosis has been issued since negative diagnoses do not require financial coverage. If clinics systematically issue positive diagnoses, this creates a risk of unjustified claims going unnoticed.

This raises the following concerns:

6- How do you ensure that gender clinics follow objective medical criteria rather than a policy-driven or commercial preference for affirmative diagnoses?

7 - What measures do you take to prevent insurance fraud and ensure that all reimbursed treatments are medically necessary and properly justified?

If a clinic has acted non-transparently, issued an inaccurate diagnosis, or used an unjustified diagnostic code, this could constitute misrepresentation or fraud. In such cases, a health insurer has the right to reclaim improper reimbursements, as these claims would not be based on valid medical grounds. This aligns with legal and contractual obligations between insurers and healthcare providers.

I urge you to thoroughly investigate these concerns and take appropriate action. Given the potential scale of this issue and its impact on many families, this could represent a systemic legal and financial problem with far-reaching consequences. If these suspicions are confirmed, this could become one of the most significant medical and insurance-related scandals of our time. Can you confirm whether this risk exists within your organization’s network of clinics?

Clinical Psychologist: “Transition Does Not Lead to Happiness”

Beyond ignoring family input, there is another concerning issue. The treating clinical psychologist in this case repeatedly stated: “Transition does not make you happy.” This statement was recorded multiple times and is in the possession of a lawyer.

When a medical professional within the clinic acknowledges that medical transition does not guarantee improved well-being, it raises serious ethical concerns about the justification for such treatments. Gender transition is an irreversible intervention with significant, often life-altering consequences, including permanent bodily changes and lifelong medical dependency.

8 - If a specialist openly admits that transition does not necessarily improve well-being, what then justifies this treatment?

Call to Action

I request a substantive response within four weeks to the following questions:

Are you willing to question the clinics you work with about the critical concerns raised in this letter?

What review mechanisms do you have in place to ensure that reimbursement claims in this sector are based on an objective and careful diagnostic process?

What corrective measures will you take if it is found that gender clinics are using diagnostic codes without sufficient medical justification?

If I do not receive a response within this period, I will escalate this matter to relevant regulatory authorities, policymakers I am in contact with, and media outlets that are closely following this issue.

I look forward to your response. Please do not hesitate to reach out if you have any questions.

Sincerely,

Name:

Parents of:

Attachment: The scientifically designed Genspect survey, available at: https://genspect.org/resources/gender-dysphoria-support-tool/

Go to HHS.gov and read its new mission statement:

“We welcome Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. as the 26th Secretary of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. We are excited to fulfill President Trump’s Executive Order, “Establishing the President’s Make America Healthy Again Commission” to investigate and address the root causes of America’s escalating health crisis, with a focus on childhood chronic disease. Together, we will Make America Healthy Again.”

I’m sending RFK this letter:

TO: [addresses below]

SUBJECT: Please fight the man-made chronic disease of transgenderism

Dear Secretary Kennedy,

Congratulations on becoming Secretary of HHS. In your acceptance speech you spoke of God answering your years-long prayer; many parents hope their years-long pleas may at last be answered, too.

MAHA is right to declare war on chronic disease among all Americans, and especially among children. You’re right to scrutinize old chronic diseases that have risen, such as obesity, diabetes, and asthma. You’re right to attack existing problems that have evolved or metastasized, like opioid abuse. You’re right to re-examine existing cures, asking if they’re being used to the greatest benefit, and whether they cause harms.

Please also attack a fourth, more insidious category: new chronic diseases that are entirely and deliberately man-made.

I refer to the industry that has sprouted up around gender, gender dysphoria1, and transgenderism.

Please extend your scrutiny of the pharmaceutical and medical industry to gender as well. Is there any more dramatic example of inventing a problem, promoting it among a vulnerable population, offering a solution that turns healthy young people into lifelong patients, then milking those patients/customers for the rest of their lives with an ever-shifting menu of drugs, therapies, and surgeries? Drugs to counter the side effects of the last drugs; surgeries to undo the damage of prior surgeries; on and on, for the rest of one’s life?

The radical cosmetic procedures of “Sex Change” have been rebranded “life-saving gender-affirming care” both to lure the vulnerable and then to unlock insurance money. Where is the scientific evidence showing any of this saves lives? Or even improves lives? There is none.

The healthcare industry maximizes profit by managing disease, not preventing it. “Gender Dysphoria” is the perfect boondoggle: it’s a socially spread “disease” that makes lifetime patients out of its victims.

A healthy, happy child or young adult is terrible for business; so invent a new, highly contagious condition that gets ‘em young and converts otherwise healthy people to become lifelong patients. The Gender-Industrial Complex2 destroys lives. It destroys families, including mine. Don’t let “activist” cries of “transphobia” scare you away from this necessary battle; they are promoters and profiteers. Listen to the eloquent testimony of parents and de-transitioners3 the victims of this scam.

The man-made chronic disease of transgenderism has grown over 20% per year,4 and now affects over 300,000 American children.5 Thousands have already been harmed by drugs and surgeries. Young adults are being harmed, too: over 400,000 of them,6 having been socially “infected” as minors.

Though some misguided medical and psychiatric professionals may think they’re helping, they’re actually promoting a Gnostic ideology7 — there is no science8 behind gender dysphoria, more accurately called transgender ideation,9 and its “treatments”. The first scientific study in the UK, the NHS Cass Review,10 banned their treatments. In the US, sane scientific voices11 have been silenced. The entire industry is ripe for scrutiny, prosecution, and shutdown. If it’s not shut down, the door stays open to inventing even more new diseases.

Transgenderism is among the largest12 and worst medical scandals in American history, above even eugenic sterilization,13 lobotomy, Tuskegee, and recovered memories. I hope that someone will end it, will bring healing to the young people and families it has harmed, and will deliver justice to the people who created and promoted it.

I wish you success in your important work,

NAME

I’m sending this letter to RFK and Nicole Shanahan. Will you send it, too? Suggest edits and improvements in the comments. Also spread via social media.

Addresses:

• Secretary Kennedy, HHS, 200 Independence Ave SW, Washington DC 20201

  Email: policy@mahatransition.org

  on X: x.com/RobertKennedyJr

• NShanahan@biaecho.org ; info@TeamKennedy.com

  on X: x.com/NicoleShanahan

Dear Daughter,

Why do you want to be a boy? I’ve been asking this quietly in my head for almost two years now. Sometimes I want to shake you and scream “You are not a boy!” or “Ignore what you learned in Elementary school!” or “Child Protective Services could come take you away from me if you tell the progressive California activist teacher at your school your mother isn’t on board!!” But all the advice from veteran parents in this mess says to love bomb your kid and plant seeds of doubt. And that seems to be working…. But my heart, oh my heart, I want to say something more to the little girl that used to sing “Let It Go” at the top of her lungs. So maybe I’ll soften my words a bit…

I want you to have the best life, a healthy life and a sound mind. The more I research what it means to be trans, the more I realize how complicated and difficult it is. Gender dysphoria is still listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Illnesses (DSM-5). Thinking you are born in the wrong body is a disconnection from reality, which by definition is a mental illness. I do not want you to have a mental illness. No mother would want that for any child.

OKAY that sounds a bit softer I think, could I add this?

I do not believe schools should be teaching kids that they can change sex, because it is impossible to change sex. School personnel are confusing the gay, lesbian and bisexual equality movement with the non-binary or transgender equality movement. LGB is about sexual attraction, the right to love who you love. Non-binary and Trans movements are about a desired identity that requires the world around them to lie, under the guise of being kind and inclusive. It is not kind to lie. Schools should not be lying to children. The world should not be lying to mentally ill people. Trans women are not women and Trans men are not men. The schools should not keep a kid's mental illness from their parents. Any person that tells you “your parents can’t be trusted” or that “this has to stay a secret from them”, is stranger danger 101. Preferred pronouns are such a touchy subject because telling your brain to believe something your eyes don’t see is a disconnect most of us have a hard time with. Using opposite pronouns requires the other person to conform to a delusion and have their language policed. Why is it okay for someone to call me a ciswoman if that is not how I identify, yet I have to use preferred pronouns otherwise I’m not being kind? It’s hypocritical, to say the least.

OKAY maybe not the school part, it’s tainted with so much anger towards your school… but maybe this:

I want you to really be open-minded and let go of your belief that you are a boy for now. I do not want you to convince yourself you have a mental illness. You have so much time to discover who you are in so many other ways that do not include gender. You are far too young to be making lifelong decisions about gender that may affect your mental and physical health. So, for now, I would like you to focus on everything about you that is not trans. For example. your wonderful art, important school work, friendships, keeping your room clean, remembering to turn in your schoolwork, reading for enjoyment and your newest interest in learning about complex historical topics (which I’m very impressed by, btw). I want you to learn to be a critical thinker and not accept every bit of information you learn about as true. 80% of kids who are gender confused grow out of it. Give yourself the opportunity to grow out of it if you can, so that you can avoid living with a mental illness the rest of your life. Please my sweet sugar baby, LET IT GO.

To my daughter’s fully medicalized, trans-identified, licensed clinical social worker –

You spoke to my daughter without my knowledge or consent when she was a 13-year-old.  You are part of a systemic failure on the part of our educational and mental health care systems which targets young, vulnerable people under the guise of “healthcare” in what, I can only assume, is an attempt to get more money and increased social justice influence over our young people. Shame on you and those who have allowed this to happen.

When my daughter was crying and came to you in earnest for help because she was so confused about everything she was seeing, hearing and reading online, you asked what her “preferred pronouns and name” were and told her “You are a boy. YOU ARE A BOY.”

This did not help her.

You told her every other week that she was doing a “good job” hanging in there because she had to wait until she was 18 years old to be able to inject herself with opposite sex hormones and have surgery to remove body parts. You told her you understood how hard it was to have to wait.

This did not help her.

You talked to her about how to socially transition at school and what “rights” she had as a 13-year-old to hide things from her parents and how to make demands of adults around her.

This did not help her.

You were oblivious to the fact that this young teen obviously had multiple other issues going on in her life that were contributing to her being uncomfortable with her body, and told her that it was all due to her “gender” not matching her body.

This did not help her.

You gave her a link to the local “transgender youth center” and also sent her a form to order a free chest binder.

This did not help her.

You told my 13-year-old daughter, when she asked about vaginal atrophy and a hysterectomy and if it hurt, “Oh, it was no big deal, my insurance covered it.”

This did not help her.

When I realized what was happening and scheduled an appointment to talk to you directly to find out the extent of what my daughter had been exposed to, you were eager to tell me in our appointment that you yourself were “transgender” and how you had determined for yourself whether or not to inject cross sex hormones and have your breasts and reproductive system removed. You apparently pondered this idea around age 22 after having just finished college, with the question of “If I were on a deserted island would I still want to transition?”

Wow!

Is this seriously what medical ethics promotes as a relevant and realistic question to ponder when one considers taking radical steps to medically alter their body in an attempt to superficially look like the opposite sex while simultaneously sterilizing themselves and damaging their tangible physical health via medications with lifelong, deleterious side effects? This question, with no basis in actual reality, is a valid consideration when evaluating when someone should reject their material existence?

When I spoke to you about my daughter’s other mental health conditions you dismissed them all saying, “She’s felt this way since she was nine,” and that my concerns could be set aside based on the fact that my daughter “is transgender” and that she should begin medical transition immediately.

When I very plainly stated that was not going to happen you responded with “That’s ok, the female body can still transition pretty well after puberty.”

It was almost as if you didn’t hear anything that I had been saying as the parent of my daughter for the entire time I was talking to you. As if, as someone who knew and loved and cared for my daughter more than anyone else in the world, my perceptions were meaningless and had no bearing on anything. That somehow this counselor who had spoken to my daughter for maybe 12 hours of her entire lifetime knew her better than her mother did, even though I had spent the entirety of her 118,260 hours on earth as her mother. In 0.0101% of the time, this counselor knew with certainty what was right for my daughter to “live as her authentic self”.

I can say with certainty this insight did help me.

It helped to snap me into the realization that I was NOT dealing with someone who shared my values, and who had obviously fallen victim to the sunk cost fallacy of gender ideology since they had already fully medicalized themselves.

It helped me to realize that my daughter had been speaking with someone who was not working within the same framework of reality that I was.

It helped me to realize it was going to take deliberate action to help my daughter get out of this self-destructive, delusional mindset or she could very well end up like this person.

I wonder what you would think of the fact that my 15-year-old daughter no longer identifies as trans and actually thinks that speaking with you was one of the most harmful things that ever happened to her.  Would it challenge your worldview to think about the fact that you actually tried to get a parent to agree to irreversibly medically damage their daughter’s body when she was only 13? Or would it just stiffen your perception that parents who oppose their teens desire for self-harm are bad people?

Are you concerned at all that you were wrong and I was right?

Will you ever reflect sufficiently to come to a greater awareness of the fact that what you decided to do to your own body has absolutely no bearing on the actual medical evidence that none of this is really an objectively helpful intervention for anyone, much less young people? I wonder the same about our medical institutions who teach, license and authorize people like you to work with our most vulnerable.

I’m guessing not, as when I look online I see you have a wait list for your “services.”

Thank goodness my daughter didn’t become your next biggest mistake.

I am a mom and I’ve been in this transgender nightmare with my daughter for nine years.  It started in 2015 when she was 13 years old and just beginning the eighth grade.

In May of this year, I took part in a letter writing campaign to the American Academy of Pediatrics, organized by January Littlejohn. The goal was to flood the AAP with enough letters that they would be forced to at least acknowledge the Cass Review. To no one’s surprise, the AAP did not acknowledge any of our letters. I personally wrote to all members of the AAP board. Not one wrote me back.  I took a great deal of time drafting these letters and revealed a lot of personal information, hoping it would make a difference but, sadly, it did not.

Apparently, AAP board members don’t care about the harm their policies are doing to children and their families.  The AAP has an agenda and I’m afraid that they will not stop until forced to via lawsuits and new legislation.

My letter below…..

Dear AAP,

I am writing to you in regard to the Cass Review. The Final Report from the Cass Review was published on April 10, 2024. I am attaching it to this letter. I implore you to please acknowledge this important, independent, peer-reviewed, scientific report and its recommendations. Consequently, England’s National Health Service has closed their only youth gender clinic.

This issue affects me and my family personally. I am the parent of a child who had sudden-onset gender dysphoria at age 13. This out-of-the-blue gender/body dysphoria and self-diagnosis happened to her as a result of so many things including the following: middle-school angst, puberty, bullying, anxiety, depression, ADHD, self-harm, sexual assault, sensory processing disorder and an internet/social media addiction.

It was in 7th grade that she started using social media, namely Instagram, and spending more and more time online where she was introduced to many things including gender identity/transgenderism. In 8th grade she decided to start the year off as a new gender, “agender”, new name and new pronouns. She told her school, but did not tell me and her school kept it a secret while they socially transitioned her and used the new, fake name and pronoun. The school kept me in the dark because they assumed I was “unsafe”; that is how they describe a parent who they or the child thinks will not affirm this sudden, new identity. When I found out what was happening, I did not know what to do. I tried to find help for her, but the only help I could find was affirmation from the professionals (doctors, therapists, etc); affirmation of her self-diagnosis that she was born wrong or the doctor made a mistake assigning her gender.

Sadly, that is what is happening—these children are self-diagnosing due to a social contagion that is being spread online and in friend groups. In 8th grade, my daughter was in a friend group with three other girls, and all four of them changed their name, pronoun and gender. They also used the boy’s restroom and slept with boys on an overnight field trip. My daughter was being groomed online via transgender activists on social media platforms as to what to do and started demanding breast binders and testosterone.

The activists sent her free breast binders. I would not give in to anything that would permanently harm her. I decided to get an appointment with a mental health professional at the children’s hospital behavioral health department. Surely, they would do a neuropsych evaluation so that my daughter’s real issues (anxiety, depression, ADHD, self-harm, sexual assault, sensory processing disorder, school refusal and internet addiction) could be addressed. When we went to the appointment, we were seen by a nurse practitioner and she immediately affirmed my daughter as a boy and would not listen to me. This nurse practitioner prescribed Prozac for my daughter’s depression and told me that she wanted to recommend puberty blockers for my daughter, but that it was probably too late for that as my daughter was now 15. Then she wanted to refer her to the endocrinology department so that my daughter could be put on testosterone. I told her that my daughter was too young for us to make decisions that will affect the rest of her life. So then, the nurse practitioner said that if I did not go along with my child being transgender and being put on testosterone that she would likely commit suicide. I was so shocked that she actually said that in front of my daughter! I was speechless! Things got much worse for my daughter and our family after that appointment. I was constantly in fear of my daughter killing herself; subsequently, there were a few emergency room visits and an attempted suicidal overdose.

This current AAP protocol regarding gender dysphoric children is tearing families apart—it is pitting the child against the parent. I feel that although many medical professionals mean well, they are causing more harm than they realize when it comes to this transgender issue because it does not personally affect them, so they go along with what they think the “experts” say; however, this is experimental and there has been no followup on these patients nor has there been a published study of patient outcomes in the United States. You learn a lot about an issue when it affects you or your family. My husband and I love our daughter more than anyone. She is our only child. We ended up spending a fortune trying to keep our daughter safe from self-harm, suicide and off of testosterone. To do that we had to send her to private, expensive, in-patient programs because we could no longer trust most medical professionals we had been going to for help.

Despite my husband and my best efforts, our daughter, at age 18, went to Planned Parenthood and got testosterone on her first visit. (That is what happens when the child is socially transitioned—it almost always leads to medical transition.) Planned parenthood prescribed a high dose of injectable testosterone with a 6-month follow up. During that 6-month period she had a lot of health and mental health problems and ended up being taken to the emergency room. It was because of this medical emergency that bloodwork was done. It was discovered that she was in menopause at only 18 years of age! Her doctor said that the amount of testosterone in her system was more than a young, male body builder would have.

The way the medical establishment is responding to these gender confused young people like my daughter is not right to say the least. However, you and your colleagues at the AAP have an opportunity to make a change to help future gender dysphoric children who will be drawn into this just like my daughter was. All of us parents have very similar stories. I just wrote a brief synopsis, but it has been a long and painful journey for my family. My daughter is still depressed and is having more health issues due to the testosterone and being in menopause. It’s hard to watch her deteriorate, be in pain and be so unhappy and not be able to do anything about it. After all, many think that since the doctors are on board, it must be safe and life saving. When it comes to social and medical transitioning of children, we need for the AAP to please do the right thing.

Please reverse course and revisit this pediatric transgender issue and change the protocols on how these gender confused children are being affirmed as a different gender and then put on the path of medicalization with puberty blockers, wrong-sex hormones and surgeries. These children are too young to be self-diagnosing and too young to give informed consent to experimental treatments that are irreversibly harming and sterilizing them. How can a child or even a young adult consent to being sterilized? I hope the medical profession goes back to basics of their own Hyppocratic Oath. There needs to be better guidelines, evaluations and protocols to follow that are more thoughtful and careful because this is way too important and affects a generation of our children.

Sincerely,

Concerned Mom in Kentucky

Dear Daughter,

You left a lot of little things behind when you moved away. Echoes of your childhood, pieces of who you were. We didn’t mind. We enjoyed revisiting your art, your schoolwork, your baby teeth and retainer, your vast collection of Yoshi plushies, and other odds and ends. These things reminded us of you, of who you once were, of a time when you were younger, when we were a happy family. So many golden years! It was such a privilege to share your childhood with you, to watch you grow up. And these tokens of a time gone by are dear because they represent you, and you have always been so incredibly precious to us. 

So, we held onto these things, protected them, cherished them, in case you ever wanted them again, or to keep as mementos of the child you once were. But as the years have passed, I realize they don’t mean to you what they once did. Your old art, an embarrassment to you now. Your childish toys, forgotten, unwanted. Figures and SWAPS and collectibles, discarded. Rubbish. 

As a child, it was difficult for me to hold onto the things that I cherished most. From age five, I had to move at least twice a year, every year, and had packed up and left 33 places by the time I married your father when I was 20. I’ve lost all but a few of my toys and childhood belongings, but what I managed to hold onto is very precious to me now. Perhaps only because I have lost so much. People. Pets. Places. Memories. 

Even you, my first-born child. Though you are still alive, I’ve had to let you go, as well. 

It was so important to me to put down roots for you, to give you a neighborhood and friends that grew along with you, so that you had that anchor of stability in childhood that I lacked. We bought our first house when you were only a year old, in large part because of the pressing desire I had to give you all that I never had: a stable home, a loving family, and a devoted mother. 

I sincerely made being the best mom possible my life’s goal, and I took my responsibilities as your mother very seriously. I know you know this and were aware of how unique our closely knit family was. That didn’t happen by accident. Your father and I carefully and intentionally wove that together. For you. 

I realize that, by contrast, you were able to collect and retain absolutely everything you had, which in itself can be overwhelming. It’s okay to let parts of ourselves fall away, to outgrow who we once were and move along the path of life. 

I keenly remember reaching age 12 and no longer wanting to play with my Barbies every day, of having this sense that I had outgrown my beloved dolls, and with that, a sad awareness that I was growing up. I packed them away into a suitcase and lost them during one of our many moves. I was distressed when I realized they were lost forever, but I had to learn to let things go from an early age. I had to let my parents go when they ran off chasing alternative lives in my early childhood. I had to let my grandma go when she passed, leaving me to fend for myself at age 10. I had to let childhood go much too early. And so, I desperately tried to protect yours. To give you all the time and space you needed to become whomever you were destined to become. 

I understood the multi-generational rift that exists within my own family. I believed it was my responsibility, my calling, to do all that was within my power to mend that rift, to be the bridge, to forgive the unforgivable and reunite my own family, and your father’s as well. So that our children wouldn’t bear that burden. So that you could have the loving and attentive grandparents you deserved. So that we could invite absolutely everyone to our children’s birthday parties and holiday gatherings with an open heart and true hospitality. 

That was my ideal, and the example we modeled for our children. We showed you how to make space and still set appropriate boundaries for difficult kin. We taught you by example that it was better to have those difficult conversations than to let anger fester, and that reconciliation is impossible without forgiveness and communication. We taught you better than this.

It’s not okay to treat your parents as if we were merely toys that can be outgrown. You can’t pack us in a suitcase and donate us to a thrift shop to lighten your energetic load. You will carry us with you forever, though you may remain unconscious and carry us deep within your shadow. We represent who you truly are, where you came from, and the support system that got you to where you are today. We are your history, your foundation, your culture, your ancestry. We are flesh of your flesh and bone of your bone, your blood, your kin. When you dishonor us, you dishonor yourself. When you treat us as disposable, not even worthy of your time or empathy, you display your own lack of character and kindness.

We were kind, loving, supportive, and always good to you. We were everything parents should and can be, and I challenge anyone who bore witness to our lives to testify otherwise. We were also young and poor and navigating our own childhood traumas and challenges, and yet mindfully setting an example we felt would honor God and lead our children on the path of righteousness. We did everything in love, and I know you know my words are truthful. 

You have chosen a life path that will only continue to take you further from those who love you most truly, further from truth, from peace, from sovereignty, and from God. We mourn the loss of your presence in our lives, but more so, we mourn the person you have become. And your behavior, which is shamefully not reflective of the way we raised you. 

I don’t understand how the daughter I was once so incredibly close to could estrange herself from her own parents and go on, pretending we don’t exist. It’s so cruel. Too cruel to reconcile in my mind.

Today marks the one-year anniversary since you sent the “no contact” text. Since then, every holiday and birthday has passed, as we grieved your absence in our lives. Our beloved dog has died, your grandma, and now this dreadful date will also remain seared into our lives as a perennial reminder of the betrayal and loss and profound grief that we feel. It hurts my heart so much to watch your dear father mourn the loss of his daughter, his dog, and his mother on his birthday, which is immediately following by this “new anniversary.”

How does one forgive such a selfish and cruel child? I made excuses for my mother on behalf of her own trauma and mental illness, but you have suffered none of that. You were pampered and cherished and beloved by all. I suppose ultimately it is my fault, for permitting you to believe the whole world revolved around you merely because mine did. 

How do you sleep at night? Is your heart so hard, so wicked, so cold? 

Perhaps this boxful of Yoshi plushies will help? I cannot discard them as casually as you have discarded us. 

Also please find enclosed a “time capsule” cd of files you deemed necessary to back up to disc at one point, including a lot of your early art, music, and inspiration. And a pair of thigh high scrunchie (80’s style) leg warmers that I crocheted to be a Christmas gift for you, but never sent. You may dispose of the contents of the box as you see fit. 

But I remain,

Eternally yours,

Mom

This is a letter I wrote after seeing my son. I did not send it, out of fear of making our relationship even worse, but it captures my emotions upon realizing what estrogen had done to him.

Dear Son,

It has been seven months since I last saw you. You looked then just like I had at your age, but with darker hair. Now, after more than half a year of wrong-sex-hormones, you have changed.

Your personality is more assertive, you look to take better care of your appearance. Is that because it is a lie? Because you can no longer look presentable without caring about it?

You are brash and confident, like you are imitating your mother's powerful personality in a vain attempt to be more like her.

And you are like her. Looking at you now, after so long, I suddenly see it. I suddenly realize why this visit has been so uncanny. You no longer look like me, your brother, or any other man you know. You look just like your mother. You could be her daughter, but you are not. You will never be, though you have been deceived into believing you can be.

I will be waiting eagerly for you to return to us, in sanity, even though you reject your mother's and my attempts to bring you back.

I love you, hon. I always have and, even though you claim I do not, I always will. And so does your mother, who you obviously look up to so very much.

– Dad

I often think about how you first informed us you were going to start living as 'a boy'. You sent us a text - a somewhat cowardly way to tell your father and me. The cowardice has continued for the past three years. Your father and I separately responded that we love you, that whatever is going on we'll figure it out, but we still love you. I called you two days later, and we spoke to you about it briefly. You asked if I had questions and I asked, Well, yeah.... Honey, you do not like guys or bros and now you want to be one? And you giggled. I was shocked. You giggled and said yeah, I guess so. Then I asked where did this come from and you said your therapist asked if you thought you might be trans. Whether this is true or not, I have no idea because the narrative you now tell of your life is full of lies. You truly became a liar... something I can say with confidence you were not before this came into our lives. I can’t refute any of your feelings, but the experiences you have told me... that you had mostly male friends growing up, among others, are just not the truth. 

But here is what I am wondering today... How did you feel? How do you feel? How awful that must have felt to think your Mom and Dad would be all on board, only to find out they did not accept that they had a new son. In the text you said you would like to give us the honor of renaming you. We did name you... when you were born, and honestly you know the story, we didn’t name you until a week after bringing you home so we could see what fit best. And yes, it is a more traditional female name, because you indeed, are female.

But how painful that must have been for you, to have parents who did not rejoice in their 'trans' child. You thought you found the reason for all the psychological pain you ever experienced. You thought you found your community, the reason your life at 22 was not going exactly the way you had envisioned. Never mind the years of anorexia, the dabbling in self harm by cutting, or the rejections in a very competitive college theater program, or the first eight months of a global pandemic. Everything could be explained away by thinking you belonged in a body that looks different from the one you had! And never mind that at 22 you would be a man, not a boy, you told us you were meant to be a boy.

I am sure you thought because your Mom was (is?) a diehard liberal with a history of working with oppressed people that you would be embraced and shown off. Or you thought the fact that your grandmother was a lesbian, of course your Mom would be OK with this and she'll bring Dad along!  Perhaps you thought, this is just the same as being a lesbian or gay person and the older generation just needs to get on board! I am sure you thought your parents might even throw a coming out party for you. And I am truly sorry.... I am truly sorry that you did not know me well enough to know that would not be the case. How completely disorienting and devastating for you. But a Mom's intuition is usually spot-on, and you were never even gender non-conforming or showed any discomfort in being a female before this pronouncement. When you told us you were bisexual we basically shrugged. When you brought home your first girlfriend at 22, we welcomed her! 

After three years of living in this surreal, bizarre place I am becoming better with where I am. We are still in relationship, albeit a very strained one. You have medicalized and it continues to shock me to talk to you, sometimes I cannot answer the phone because I cannot handle hearing your voice. I wonder sometimes how it would have been if we had just accepted your desire to modify your body, if we had bought into the trans identity, or your transness as you like to call it. I just know I have too much respect for nature, for acceptance of biology and for women to ever have fallen for any of this. I also have too much respect for the truth... in how we live our lives and for how we interact with others and the trans 'way of life' seems to go against the truth. The truth of your feelings does not trump biological reality. Feelings change. And since this has led to three years of you lying to us about so many things and three years of fractured, strained relationships, and panic attacks and mental health that doesn't appear improved... I wonder when we will see the positive outcomes from your medicalization.  

I love you; I will always love you. I just wish you had been stronger all around. Living in a female body in this world has its challenges but being human has its challenges. 

Life will go on, you will grow up and at some point, there will be a reckoning. I will be here for you when that happens. People are waking up to the harm this is causing. I am so sorry you got caught up in it...so, so sorry.

Dear Daughter,

You said that you love us and are grateful for all that we’ve done for you, yet you have emotionally estranged yourself from us for the past seven years and have withheld any real expression of love or concern for us, forgetting birthdays and holidays, and leaving our questions and concerns unaddressed. You did not even say “thank you” when we finished paying off your debts (which we did not agree to bear on your behalf indefinitely when we co-signed for your loans.) 

I do not believe you truly understand what love is. You have a very selfish idea of it, but there is no self in Love. 

Your father and I truly did our upmost to fully embrace every aspect of your being, to support and encourage you to explore your own potential, and we accept you as a sovereign individual. We thought we “celebrated” your independence, and that we “valued” your boundaries. When we sent you to college, we trusted you to make good choices because we had so much faith in you. We never micro-managed you. We were not helicopter parents, we gave you freedom and space to express yourself. We have always valued your thoughts and feelings (when you would actually share them with us.) So, setting all of that aside, I am left to assume that the aspect you wanted us to “celebrate,” is your new identity, and that of your partner, and that is in fact at the heart of our estrangement. 

So, I will start there.

Identity is made up of our morals, beliefs, unique qualities, personality traits, appearance, and expression, as well as external characteristics such as height, race, class, politics, religious affiliation, etc. Some aspects of our identity are immutable and unchangeable and are not conscious choices that we direct. Others are malleable, and may shift or change over time, with experience and wisdom. 

If it is a condition that you are only able to receive love from those who will (blindly) “celebrate and value” every aspect of your identity, you will increasingly attract only those who are demonic enough to cheer for the most ignoble aspects of your nature. Someone who really loves you, as we do, will refuse to participate in the qualities of your personality that are harmful or destructive, to you or to others. Someone who loves you will not sit by quietly while watching you hurt yourself, because that is not loving. And this is why I do not believe you truly love Hazel, and do not understand what Love is. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

What you have deemed as “vitriol” was concern, coming from a place of love. I do not dispense cruel and bitter criticism as though I were some masochist who says hurtful things for pleasure. It has been extremely painful to me to speak truthfully into the great lie that you have made of your life. We are meant to hold one another up to the light, even when it’s painful or difficult, because that is what real love does. It’s a Refiner’s fire, intent to burn off all of our impurities, leaving us only as pure gold.

I am not isolated beyond what I have intentionally chosen. At one time I was happy to have 8000 “friends” online, but I am honestly happier with eight real friends that I truly respect. My standards have changed. I no longer believe the world is entitled to have access to my heart. And people have changed, they’ve lowered their standards and diluted themselves to fit the current narrative. I’m too old to filter through the inauthentic. I don’t need the attention, I’m happy in my life without a spotlight on me.

You said we “failed to show up for you and Hazel in all the ways that mattered most.” Let’s unpack that a bit. 

Did we fail to show up:

• When he “came out” and we still wanted him to move in with us, rent free?

• Or on the many occasions, such as birthdays, holidays, and family events, that we invited (and even pleaded for) him to come to, to participate in our family, to let us get to know him and try to understand what he was going through?

• How about when we baked a birthday cake and brought it to you, so he could feel comfortable enough to celebrate with us?

• Perhaps it was when the whole family showed up to help you pack and load the U-Haul?

• Or was it all the years that we continued to faithfully pay off your debts, eating beans and rice at home while you went out for margaritas and restaurant meals?

As far as I can see, we showed up for both of you, in every possible way, but one; we would not renounce our belief in the Bible or biology. Which begs the question, if you truly love us, why do you not celebrate our identities in the same way you demand we celebrate yours? Our race, religion, the decades of dedicated service to our children, our friends, family, and communities. 

You “celebrate & value” those who agree with your worldview, but not your own parents.

It is you who failed to show up for us, not the other way around. You withdrew, moved out, ignored our texts, discounted our concerns, and refused to have any kind of meaningful dialogue with us for years before you officially went “no contact.” You emotionally estranged me when I was grieving for the loss of my own mother, so by the time you physically estranged me, the damage had already been done. 

The audacity of chastising your father for “not being an advocate” for his children is ludicrous. This is the cruelest form of gaslighting I’ve ever seen. He played an active role in your homeschooling for 25 years, and in every aspect of your upbringing. I have never witnessed a more loving, more devoted, more involved, concerned, pro-active father in my entire life, real or fictional. You merely wish he would “advocate” for your lifestyle and choices, but he is in fact a man of deep convictions, and he does not “affirm” your folly any more than I do. We have the same beliefs, merely different means of expressing them. And we pray for your salvation, every single day.

As believers we are called to be sanctified, which means set apart, and from your perspective, that may look like a wedge that we have placed between ourselves and the world, but it is really more of a shield. It’s not that we are unaware of how the world is, merely that we do not wish to participate in its debauchery. Even so, I have never had any trouble befriending people from all walks of life, including those with lives in contrast to my own. But for close friendships, truly, what fellowship should light have with darkness? Must I dim myself, also become darkness, in order to blend in as you have?

It seems to me that it is you who wishes to blot out all that makes up who I am, my entire identity. You don’t even acknowledge my contribution to your heritage, only your father’s. As if you could erase me from your genetics. But you are a part of me, I am a part of you, and you may choose to deny that part, but you are ultimately hurting yourself most of all.

We have joined a number of support groups and outlets, with people from a wide variety of beliefs and backgrounds. We do not have any trouble making friends with people that are different from ourselves, or finding support when we need it. We are receiving plenty of emotional support, but if you ever wish to attend family therapy, I’m open to the idea.

All of these years, of course we saw who you truly are. We saw the phases you went through, the personas, the voices, the various interests and hobbies you tried on like a wardrobe, and then discarded. We never shamed you for the pretend squeaky voice you used to use, we didn’t mind when you wore a cat collar and cat ears everywhere you went. People have to grow up and into themselves, and we allowed you plenty of space to freely explore the depth of your own being, without judgment or ridicule.

But the person that you have become is a stranger to us. We recognize your face and your voice, but we have no idea who you are now. Sometimes I sincerely wonder if you are actually demon possessed. You are so immersed in a world that is contrary to who you had once been, I don’t know what else to think. Or else you hid your deviancy exceedingly well. You have taken your God-given talent and your expensive education and used it all to make a video game that is nothing more than a demonic tool for grooming children into a sex cult. May God have mercy on your soul!

We were a healthy, functional family, and it’s wrong of you to try to gaslight us into subscribing to the distortion that you’ve made of us. A family doesn’t stay together, love one another, thrive as we always have, by chance or accident. It is because your father and I have intentionally poured every ounce of our being into nourishing and protecting this family that we were once so solid. It was you who created this wedge and seeded the division.

Your influence on your siblings now exceeds our own, and you have used your position to distort the truth and mislead them. You have become a stumbling block, not only to your own siblings, but to children everywhere. You say you don’t want your choices to influence them, but you know it’s unavoidable. Sometimes, we don’t get to choose. 

To whom much is given, much will be required. 

You forbid us from contacting you, from “violating your boundaries,” as if we were mere objects, toys to be put on a shelf once you have outgrown them. But the Bible says if you look at another person with hate, you have murdered them in your heart, and this is how we feel; murdered by our own child in her heart.

My mother left me when I was three years old. She never took proper care of me; she dragged me in and out of cults, and other bad living scenarios, and she allowed me to be molested in exchange for free drugs. She physically neglected me and emotionally manipulated me all of my life. Still, I sent her food or money when she needed it, I took her to doctor’s appointments, answered her telephone calls, and responded to her letters. She was always welcomed in our home, included in every family event. She had textbook NPD, yet I never estranged my own mother.

I set a better example for you, of how to make space for difficult loved ones. You should know that the way you’ve dealt with us is wrong, unjust, and very unkind. Cruel, even.

I’ve cried nonstop for both you and her for seven long years. I have grieved for the loss of both of you at the expense of my own well-being. I wish I could say “I’m done with the crying“ but I realize now that may never be. However, I am done cowering in fear of offending you with the truth. So, if you are to be an “ally”, recruiting children into the identity cult that you have made your religion, I am forced to become an advocate, to speak out against the maniacal harm that you “celebrate.” And if that means I have to stand up in direct opposition to my own child, so be it. 

I love you, truly, but you are on the wrong side of evil, and I’m not going to tiptoe around your fragile ego any longer. You can turn your face from me, but you cannot hide from God. I pray He is merciful on us all!

Shikata ga nai

Love, Mom

California: Please sign the petition to protect our children -

https://protectkidsca.com/

America: Please sign to stop the use of puberty blockers on our kids -

https://www.change.org/p/urge-president-biden-to-prohibit-the-use-of-puberty-blockers

I am part of a small group of grandmothers who have connected through Our Duty USA. Our group is called Grandparents Fight Back. In addition to offering support to one another we are trying to educate others about the dangers of gender affirming care for children. We are currently working to help pass the Protect Children’s Innocence Act to make puberty blockers, hormones, and sex altering surgeries for minors illegal in all states. This bill recently passed the House with no Democrats voting in favor of it. We are reaching out to all senators to try and pass this bill with bi-partisan support.

If you would like to help, please copy this letter and send it to your senators. If you have a personal story, insert it in the letter or send it on separate page.  Send your friends and groups that you are in and ask them to send it on. Print the letter and give out at your place of worship or anywhere else you might find people interested in helping with this campaign. Keep sending letters to your senators. Call them and don’t give up until they call you back. If possible, try and get a meeting to speak with them in person.

The health and welfare of our children should not be a political issue. Get involved. Speak out. Fight back. grandparentsfightback@yahoo.com 

I am writing to urge you to partner with Senator JD Vance to sponsor, promote, and pass the Protect Children’s Innocence Act. The Protect Children's Innocence Act would ban the genital mutilation, chemical castration, and sterilization of innocent children. Under this act the performance of so called “gender affirming care” on a minor would become a class C felony.

In order to pass the Protect Children’s Innocence Act we will need bi-partisan support. The health and well being of America’s children should not be a political game between Republicans vs Democrats or Blue States vs Red States. Every member of congress needs to act on his or her own conscience to stop allowing perfectly healthy children to damage their bodies and become medical patients for life.

Legislators in 20 states have recently passed bills to restrict transgender medical interventions, such as puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones, and genital surgeries for minors. The tide of public opinion appears to be moving against “gender-affirming care,” a euphemism for child sex- change procedures that are unnecessary, not supported by evidence, experimental and dangerous.

European countries including the UK, Sweden, Finland, France, the Netherlands, Poland, and Hungary are all putting restrictions on radical, irreversible gender dysphoria treatments that have not been proven to be effective. Australia will also soon be introducing a national ban for minors on “gender affirming care” formerly known as “sex reassignment therapies.”

One might wonder why prestigious hospitals such as the Mayo Clinic, Boston’s Children’s Hospital, and Stanford Medical Children’s Health continue to offer gender affirming care to

minors if it is dangerous, has no proven efficacy, and treats a once rare condition that disappears on its own for most by age 18?

One answer can easily be found with a simple web search.

From Grandview Research, August 2023, the article titled U.S. Sex Reassignment Surgery Market Growth & Trends explains:

“The U.S. sex reassignment surgery market size is expected to reach USD 5.0 billion by 2030, growing at a CAGR of 11.25% from 2023 to 2030, according to a new report by Grand View Research, Inc. Improving reimbursement scenario and government aids, and growing awareness about transgender surgeries is expected to drive the growth of the market over the forecast period. The rising awareness plays a crucial role in fostering understanding, acceptance, and support for transgender individuals.”..... “Furthermore, the market is growing due to favorable government initiatives that provide care and financial aid for surgeries.”

The American system of “gender affirming care” is not life saving. There are no studies proving that children under 18 who identify as trans are at higher risk of suicide. Youth who have real gender dysphoria that starts in early childhood, persists throughout the years, and does not go away by age 18 can access sex reassignment therapies when they reach adulthood.

Again I am asking for your much needed support to promote and pass the Protect Children’s Innocence Act. I would greatly appreciate it if you would get back to me regarding your views on this important matter.

Below is the letter and two handouts that can be re-printed with permission from the Minnesota Family Council. They can be included with letters to senators and used to help educate others on the facts of this issue. 

Letter

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Gender Affrimation Pdf

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Fast Facts Copy

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I have to say that I am confused.

I never ever in my wildest dreams thought that I would be speaking at a random school district’s board meeting to help spread the idea that parents are the real constituents of their child’s educational experience. I personally thought this was common knowledge or a commonsense value. Teachers work for the parents, and the administration is democratically elected to facilitate in service of the needs and interests of the parents. Parents are interested in having their children receive an education, and they have entrusted you to fulfill that task.

Your primary task in that endeavor should be that of continued transparent communication. In fact, much of this problem could have been avoided by sharing all aspects of a child’s educational experience, including sex education, up front. This would include full log in access to all curriculum materials regardless of copyright rules. Parental access should be part of the negotiated contract with the curriculum publishers. Publishers, school administration, and teachers should have nothing to hide. With technology, it shouldn’t be that big of a deal unless you have hired people that don’t understand their job.

I also never imagined that this discussion point, parental rights in education, would be politically divisive in any way. I am constantly flabbergasted that all parents, all teachers and all administrators in all schools, whether public or private, would not wholly and completely agree with this simple principle. I never thought I would have to state out loud that I have been a registered Democratic voter my entire adult life in order to prove that I am not some sort of right-wing extremist (whatever that means), merely because I believe in family values and autonomous parental rights. Something odd has happened within our political system that has forced so many of us to be shamed into submission. As an educator myself, I never thought I would witness teachers willing to throw my, as well as their own, parental rights away while asserting that somehow my ability to understand and know my own child could be less than theirs.

I never thought the grownups in charge would be too busy to take the time to understand a massive social phenomenon that is happening amongst young people- young people whose childhood is vastly different than mine and most of yours given the unfettered access to unlimited information. With that access comes the impact of psychological disruptions of development when children are exposed to age-inappropriate content with which this generation is bombarded. Have we all forgotten how socially significant our adolescent and young adult years were? And how easily influenced we were? I know I am not alone in this thought. Imagine being that age now with the exponential rise in the use of technology and social media beyond any of our wildest thoughts. A perfect vehicle for the planting of bad and harmful ideas.

This is a vulnerable age and we have to ground our youth in reality. I never thought schools would be complicit in fueling this new social contagion. The reality is you cannot change your sex, so why are we promoting this as a normal thought experiment. Experimenting with the idea of transgenderism (which is a relatively new concept/term) is not the same as exploring one’s sexuality. Frankly, it is a type of psychosexual abuse. “Transgenderism” is about decoupling yourself from your sexed body, which at another time in history would have been classified as body dissociative disorder, which would have warranted a call home to parents. And then parents get to decide which trusted adult, including family, would be equipped to best help their child. This is a task that should never be undertaken without the expressed written consent of parents. In fact, I believe consent rules got changed without full public discourse but that’s a conversation for another time.

Wondering if you are gay is vastly different than wondering if you were born in the wrong body. One allows you to completely retain a healthy physical body. The other tries to convince you that you were born “wrong” and need harmful body modifications via drugs and surgeries. Does that seem like a healthy idea? Who benefits most in this scenario? Whistle blowers are speaking out. Why are you not doing your due diligence?

You know back when I was growing up teachers did not share many aspects of their personal lives with their students. We rarely knew what teachers’ relationship status was outside of school. They didn’t have personal photos hanging around their room. The focus was on educating us and keeping us physically safe. So, I find it quite peculiar that teachers would be discussing or proclaiming their personal sexual interests and proclivities. And likewise, if a student has a conversation with a trusted adult at school that crosses over curriculum topic boundaries and into an area of concern, a caring and ethical teacher’s first course of action should be to facilitate a conversation with parents in a timely fashion.

The bottom line is parents know and love their child best, and that should be the presumptive, default position for any school employee. We have always told children that if an adult asks you to keep a secret from your parents, that adult is suspect. So it also stands to reason that any teacher or adult keeping a secret from parents is suspect. Best practice is full transparency.

(Feel free to use/read on a concerned parent's behalf at your local meeting - Permission Granted.)

I'm an ordinary Mom who has found herself in a world that doesn't make sense. This is the letter I sent to the professionals in charge of my daughter’s medical care.

Dear (Physician Assistant who prescribes my daughter testosterone) and (Head of Endocrinology Department) at major medical institution, 

I have an adult female child, in her mid-twenties, who has been taking testosterone for over a year now.  She receives care in your department and PA xxx writes the prescriptions. 

I am deeply concerned about the safety and long-term consequences of women taking testosterone that elevates levels above what would be considered normal levels for a female body. The purpose of my letter is to share my concerns with you, in the hopes that, if enough people do so, you will review your policies and practices for providing testosterone to young females who identify as transgender, especially those who are still of childbearing years. 

• Do you thoroughly discuss the fertility implications with your patients, and revisit the discussion periodically? 

• Have you discussed the risk of abdominal pain, which may lead to a hysterectomy? 

• Your transgender health team perform oophorectomies—what is the reasoning behind this, as the ovaries are a crucial part of the endocrine system that provide hormones to regulate the body?   

• Do you realize that young people are being subscribed cross sex hormone with little to no counseling beforehand, many with mental health issues and/or on the autism spectrum?  

Our daughter invited us to a session with her therapist via Zoom.  She never met with this therapist in person. All meetings were via Zoom.  The therapist informed us that she was 100% sure that our daughter was transgender on the very first appointment.  She said that “there had been a mistake in the womb” and that “we now have ways to fix that.”  She said that none of her patients had subsequently changed their minds regarding their transgender identity. She specifically said “never.”  My husband asked, “Never is a strong word, do you want to reconsider that statement?” but she was undeterred.  She confirmed “never”.  How can this be possible? No psychiatric “diagnosis” is 100% accurate. No decisions have 0% regret. That defies human nature. The therapist’s blindness to this indicates willful misunderstanding, lack of curiosity or both.

I do not understand how medical professionals can prescribe testosterone to the female body. Young women who have never been pregnant and given birth cannot begin to comprehend the consequence of becoming sterile, either through long term testosterone use or via surgery.  My daughter has indicated that she wants to be a parent someday. How can doctors prescribe testosterone, perform mastectomies and hysterectomies on young women?  What ideology can possibly justify such treatments? 

The body dysmorphia and discomfort with the body is very real but please consider a different treatment path.   

• Please ask these young women what they actually mean when they say they are men.

• Please ask them what they hope to accomplish by “transitioning,” and help them determine if “gender affirming care” will actually help them to live the lives they envision. 

• Once on testosterone, have a policy to regularly reevaluate whether to continue testosterone or to stop. 

• Please help your patients navigate the body stress without destroying their endocrine and reproductive systems. 

Yes, this approach will be harder than dispensing drugs and will require more time. But have faith in the human ability to live with and overcome physical and emotional pain.  Help your patients to move towards experiencing peace with life as it is, without testosterone.   

Sincerely, 

EM   (Everyday Mom)    

PS: The author sent this letter anonymously, out of fear that if the practictioner drops her daughter as a patient, then her daughter would resort to going to Planned Parenthood.

I wrote the following letter to my daughter’s school at the beginning of her first year of high school, after she spent most of 8th grade identified as a boy. As you will read, we made many changes over the summer, and saw a big difference in our child’s mental and physical health. The head of school replied to my letter, ensuring me that pronouns would not be asked for at the start of classes and that gender would not be a focus in school. She said that we would be notified if our child asked for alternate names and pronouns, which happened a few weeks later. She said she would remind teachers of this part of the school’s stated belief, which reads:

“We believe in parental choice and that we are here to serve families. As we strive to build upon connections with our families, we leave the job of parenting to our parents. They are responsible for imparting morals and values taught in their homes including practiced political, religious, and social viewpoints. We trust that they know what is best for their student as the student grows and develops into an adult.”

This school does not lean in any political or religious direction, but is instead focused on preparing kids for college or technical studies.  They don’t allow clubs with politically charged intentions, only ones with an academic or hobby-related focus. Yes, there are trans identified kids at this school, some of whom are being supported by their parents, and the school supports these parents too.  Because my daughter’s school does what school is supposed to do—prepare kids for college and the working world, while parents are allowed to do the parenting.

I had hoped that the beginning of high school would mark a new start for her, and I can joyfully report that it has, indeed, with the support of her school administrators and teachers. I’m sharing it in hopes that it will provide a ray of hope for distraught parents, a template to use for writing to their own children’s schools, or a policy to propose to schools still following secrecy guidelines.  

Dear School Leaders,

We are writing with some concerns about our child's experience in school around the issue of gender.  We understand this is a challenging and controversial topic in schools, and respect that different children and their families have different needs and beliefs regarding gender identity.  We fully support the school’s belief statements and appreciate the thoughtful attention given to these ideals.

In 8th grade, our daughter became involved with a small group of other young biological females who identified as transgender, and subsequently wanted to adopt a transgender identity herself.  She began using a male name and pronouns at school with both her peers and teachers.  

As deeply involved parents who know our child well and have educated ourselves extensively on this subject, we are certain this sudden identity change is driven by a desire for peer acceptance and not by any inherent gender identity disorder.  D suffered from anxiety and depression in middle school, and it seemed only to be exacerbated by fixation on gender identity. Among D’s friends, body hatred was a main topic of conversation, and her friends advised her on breast binding, which constricted her breathing and worsened her anxiety and difficulty focusing. Over the summer, without any focus on gender or access to internet or social media, we have seen D’s mental health improve dramatically.  We have concentrated instead on participation in healthy activities and building positive relationships, and this has been clearly beneficial for D. Though we will support and love her no matter how she identifies in her life, we believe she is still too young to decide her gender and sexual identity.  

On the first day of class, many teachers now ask children to introduce themselves with their name and preferred pronouns. While this has become a standard inclusion practice for adults, it doesn’t always have the intended effect for children and teens, who are still figuring out who they are.  For many teens, this practice creates an on-the-spot social pressure to label themselves with a gender identity, which is hard for them to reverse socially once they have identified themselves.  This is especially difficult for a child like ours, who has deep social anxiety and fear of peer rejection.  

May we ask that:

1. Our child’s teachers do not focus on identifying pronouns, especially early in the semester?

2. Our child’s given name and pronouns be used by teachers and administrators?

We work closely with each other as well as mental and physical health professionals to ensure our child’s well-being.  With much care and evaluation, we are supporting D to stay focused on health, self-care and learning for the time being, rather than gender identity. We ask also that the school support us in our parenting decisions and let us know if any issues arise with D, gender-related or otherwise.  And we are always open to more conversation and new ideas and solutions.

Thank you,

D’s parents

I’m writing this to all the parents in California who are sick and tired of the relentless ideological assault on our families and our children. We’ve been sidelined, attacked as bigots, unceremoniously stripped of our rights as parents, and we have watched in horror as the children of our state have been subjected to a massive social and medical experiment.

The headlong rush to the affirmation model for transgender-identified youth has not only damaged our families and communities, but has also led to irreversible pharmacological and surgical interventions. The activists will deny the existence of detransitioners who regret their decisions, or will minimize their numbers. But it’s increasingly clear that the number of kids who regret their decision to medically transition is growing rapidly.

We’re all subject to intense pressure to accept what amounts to a religious movement. The science, as the UK, Sweden, and others have discovered, absolutely does not support the standards of care established by WPATH and others. We’re told that our kids might kill themselves if we refuse to affirm, which is also unsupported by the science and also happens to be a twisted form of blackmail.

For our family, we struggled to find a counselor that wouldn’t immediately affirm. It was difficult, especially in the deep blue state where we live. The simple fact is: medical providers and therapists are either fully on board with the medicalization of identity, or are cowed into silence for fear of losing their jobs. Families have been abandoned to navigate this increasingly politicized landscape by themselves, often confused about the science and deeply concerned about the wellbeing of their children.

Put aside the question of consent for a moment. (Sure, let’s just ignore the fact that your child isn’t mature enough to sign up for a mobile phone contract, but can consent to lifelong treatment and can agree to become a ward of the medical-industrial complex.)

Rather, ask yourself: in what other field of medicine do we allow the patient to self-diagnose and, without questioning or further examination, offer medical treatments? Oftentimes without the parents’ knowledge or consent?

We have been abandoned by the medical system, attacked by the idealogues, berated by our children and peers, and have risked our jobs and social lives. Still, we push against this. Why? Because nothing is more important than protecting our children from this ideologically-driven, abhorrent form of medical malpractice.

It may be inconvenient to stand up and reach out, but I encourage you to make your voice heard by sending a letter like the one below. We need to stop this assault on children and families.

—

Dear [ xyz ],

I'd like to comment on Assembly bills Assembly Bills 665, 957, 223, and Senate Bill 407. I’m a lifelong Democrat increasingly troubled by the movement toward limiting parental rights in the state. As we witness nations like the UK, Sweden, Finland, and others significantly altering their standards of care for transgender youth, we’ve seen many in the US call for ever looser standards and reduced parental involvement.

Many insist the science around adolescent transgender care is settled, but this is far from the truth. The quality of the evidence to support the standards is usually “low” or “very low” according to the GRADE standard employed in medical research, and yet the standards of care are treated as gospel. If recommendations based on similar evidence were made for taking Lipitor for high cholesterol it would be scandalous. Can we not demand the same level of intellectual rigor when it comes to our children’s lives?

I fully support all peoples’ rights to live their lives in accord with their beliefs, provided they aren’t harming others. The unfortunate truth is that the science with regard to outcomes for transgender youth suggests that we may in fact be harming many children.

Those who dare to question the standards, and the laws that are being proposed based on the standards, are often labeled as hateful or ignorant. Some may be. But the vast majority of parents want to ensure that their children are receiving the best care, not the care mandated by laws propped up by inadequate science. Perhaps you, like me, are suspicious when someone rejects debate, but rather insists on acquiescence to their preferred worldview.

Those progressive countries I referred to above are taking a fresh look at the science and concluding that it does not support the affirmation model. They are now offering children the opportunity to explore their identities without undergoing lifelong changes to their bodies.

Families are the bedrock of civilization. We should be finding ways to better protect children, yes—but if we believe that we can come up with a better social structure than millions of years of evolution, I fear we’re overstepped and many will suffer as a result.

Please, for the sake of our kids, pursue an open, honest debate on this subject. Push back on those who would shut debate down. Let’s emulate those nations with the best healthcare systems in the world, and ensure that the science supports the conclusions.

I hope our state can find a way to support gender-nonconforming children as they explore their identities and avoid a headlong rush into the lifelong medicalization of healthy children, teens, and young adults.

Sincerely,

A Voter

Here is a link to find who to send your letter to. We recommend sending the letter to both the senate and the assembly because both will vote on the bills. Here is a full list of telephone numbers for the CA legislature. CAPITOL CODEX: CROWDSOURCED #CALeg Spreadsheet - Google Sheets

TIME SENSITIVE - Bills AB665 and SB407 are being heard on Tuesday, June 20th in the afternoon, please try to call the following legislatures and ask them to vote no. You can leave a message too. AB665 permits a 12-year-old or older to consent to a residential shelter without any claim of abuse or danger of harm. It would place a gender-confused kid away from the parents in a LGBTQ group home, where they can ultimately decide their own gender interventions.

SB407 requires any potential foster family to contract that they will affirm any foster child that they take in. This will severely cut the number of foster families and place mostly black and hispanic kids (70% of all kids in CA Foster Care) into LGBTQ group homes.

FOR AB665 - CALL THE FOLLOWING MEMBERS TO OPPOSE

Senator Umberg

916-651-4034

Senator Wilk

916-651-4021

Sen. Niello

916-651-4006

Sen Scott Wiener

916-651-4011

Sen. Durazo

916-651-4026

Sen. Caballero

916-651-4014

Sen Allen

916-651-4024

Sen Ashby

916-651-4008

Sen Stern

916-651-4027

Sen Min

916-651-4037

_______________________________________

For SB407 - CALL TO OPPOSE

Asm Jackson

916-319-2060

Asm. Sanchez

916-319-2071

Asm Alanis

916-319-2022

Asm Arambula

916-319-2031

Asm Bonta

916-319-2018

Asm Bryon

916-319-2055

Asm Calderon

916-319-2056

Asm Garcia

916-319-2036

This is an edited version of a lengthier email sent to one anonymous reader's district officials and school board. Details specific to the district have been edited. The topic pertains to proposed changes which would grant students access to private facilities and sports based on “gender identity,” keep at-school gender transitions secret from parents, compel teachers to use “preferred pronouns” or risk being fired, and allow trans-identified students and chaperones accommodation on overnight field trips based on gender identity, not sex.  

Please enter this email into the record so that it may be subject to discovery in the event of inevitable litigation. Make no mistake, this distict policy will precipitate costly lawsuits, accelerate disenrollment and contribute to significant stress and division beetween students, parents and families. It will make this district—like other districts contending with similar policies and a growing avalanche of suits—unmanageable. When that time comes—every member of this school board and every district official who voted to endorse the policy despite obvious legal land mines will be at risk of being civilly sued. 

If nothing else—please let that sink in. 

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. 

I haven’t even touched on the flagrant unconstitutionality of requiring teachers to use “preferred pronouns” in violation of conscience and religious belief which has already seen a school district forced to settle and a university lose in federal court with another district forced to defend what will almost certainly be another losing position, and yet another case on appeal in the 7th Circuit. Worse, your proposed policy changes include teaching the concept of “Two-Spirit” as a “sexual identity” when in fact it originates as a religious concept among certain tribes of indigenous Native Americans—a flagrant violation of section 51933 (i) of the California Education Code which specifically says “Instruction and materials may not teach or promote religious doctrine.” 

You should not take lightly the possibility of scenarios like the following:

• When a young woman suffers debilitating premature osteoporosis and/or autoimmune disorders from the use of synthetic hormones and puberty blockers—because you disallowed her parents from knowing about it and possibly helping her get the mental health treatment that would have forestalled it—this district will be sued. 

• When a "gender non-conforming" young woman is pushed into social transition for being insufficiently feminine, then undergoes a double-mastectomy—only to realize the mistake years later when she has de-transitioned and can no longer breastfeed a child—this district will be sued. 

• When a young girl is raped or molested by a trans-identified autogynephile who has exploited district policy to be selected as a female chaperone for an overnight field trip—the parents will sue this district. 

• When a female-identifying boy is permitted to bunk with biological girls on an overnight field trip, and sexually assaults one of the girls—the parents will sue this district.

Let me underline that none of these scenarios are hypotheticals—every single one describes a real incident presently being litigated somewhere in the country. To imagine that this district will be able to preserve the current policy and dodge these scenarios is fantasy. Both here and abroad, the avalanche of litigation is only just beginning. 

Let me respectfully request, at a minimum, that you spend a few minutes familiarizing yourselves with resources to which I’m afraid your exposure has been curated in a deeply biased and one-sided fashion. Please reference the following:

1. Jamie Reed’s whistleblower piece from The Free Press. Reed is a self-described queer woman married to a trans-man, and a former case manager at the Washington University Transgender Center at St. Louis Children’s Hospital. 

2. A Daily Telegraph summary of findings from BBC Newsnight reporter Hannah Barnes’ new book “Time to Think: The Inside Story of the Collapse of the Tavistock’s Gender Service for Children.” Since the infamous NHS clinic was closed in July of last year, the scandal has rocked the UK. Among the findings: 97.5% of children seeking sex changes had autism, depression or other problems; 90% of girls and 80% of boys were same sex-attracted; children referred to the clinic were 10x more likely to have a sex offender for a parent than those in the general population; 42% had lost a parent through death or separation; and as few as 1 in 50 would have continued to express a “transgender identity” if they had not been given hormones and unnecessarily medicalized. According to a whistleblower, all such concerns were ignored by staff who treated the children as "collateral damage" and labeled skeptics “transphobic" to push an ideological agenda. 

3. The recent paper from the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy which debunks the famous “Dutch Studies” on which all previous “gender affirmative” practices have relied—including those which this district has embraced since 2009.

4. This summary from the Society for Evidence Based Gender Medicine (SEGM) outlining Sweden’s decision to abandon the “gender affirmative” Dutch model — a decision which has also been adopted by France and Finland, with the UK, Switzerland and others soon likely to follow. 

5. The story of Dr. Robert Wintemute, one of the original 29 signatories to the 2007 Yogyakarta Principles—widely regarded as the first major manifesto calling for the recognition of “transgender rights”—and how he came to renounce his prior positions after seeing their impact on women and children.   

6. This press release outlining a recent study from the American College of Cardiology which found the use of cross-sex hormones dramatically increases risk of cardiac events like stroke, embolism and heart attack.

7. Jesse Singal’s detailed analysis and rebuttal to claims of “suicidality” as justification for so-called “gender-affirming care.”

8. This Swedish longitudinal study of suicidal ideation among those who have undergone sex reassignment surgery — the first and only study of its kind — which rebuts and disproves the longstanding claims of groups like The Trevor Project by showing that between 10 and 15 years after surgical reassignment, suicidal ideation among post-operative transsexuals increases by 20%.

9. This post from an immigrant single mother on the PITT (Parents with Inconvenient Truths about Trans) Substack describing the devastating harm inflicted on her family by precisely the kinds of policies this district has adopted—and how she restored her family and her daughter’s mental health by pulling away from it.

10. This recent episode of the “Take Back Our Schools” podcast, which summarizes the story of activist mom Erin Friday and how she also saved her daughter from the very policies this district is pursuing.

11. This thoughtful and revealing post by desister and detransitioner Steven A. Richards outlining one of the most widespread causes of trans-identification and why it puts the lie to the notion of an “authentic self.”

12. A detailed presentation from two lesbian activists with the UK’s LGB Alliance documenting the history of the current “trans movement” and how it emerged not as a part of the gay rights movement, but from a dysfunctional community of internet-addicted, socially-alienated youth suffering from a variety of mental health challenges and personality disorders. 

13. The new documentary “Affirmation Generation,” as well as its associated resources and detransitioner testimonies. At a minimum, please read the filmmaker’s statement, which outlines her motives and why this issue must be disconnected from partisan politics. 

Everything cited above can be documented, traced and verified, and is backed by evidence-based medicine, data and science. No unsubstantiated opinions, no appeals to emotion, no political or partisan rhetoric. It should give you pause, for the data and the science on this subject has advanced substantially since districts first began adopting policies like this—and all of it weighs against this policy.

If you are still with me at this stage and willing to read further, allow me to explain my motives, challenge you to a critical thinking exercise and, finally, offer you a better path for all families and students. 

MY MOTIVES:

I do not revel in fighting district officials. I am not animated by any partisan agenda. I have no interest in padding a resume for public office. I care about the rights and health of women and children, especially the autistic, gay and lesbian youths who are bearing the greatest brunt of current policies. But most significantly, I care about the truth and this policy offends the truth. 

I, like many and perhaps even most parents in this district, do not share the basic premises of this policy. That’s not just a disagreement on policy minutiae—it’s a disagreement about reality. It is my position that “gender" does not exist, that "gender identity" does not exist, that there is no such thing as a “transgender” person, and that terms like “authentic self” are deliberately meaningless neologisms designed to circumvent debate by substituting subjective self-identification for objective facts. My view is that we are defined by the only characteristic which is objectively meaningful or verifiable: our sex. I subscribe to the view of neuroscientists like Gina Rippon who have conclusively demonstrated that the human brain has no gendered component whatsoever, and that our only gendered experience with the world is through our physical sex. Sex is definitive.  

I have no burden to convince any of you that sex is real. It is a demonstrable scientific fact. The burden is on you to convince me of the reality of such concepts as “gender identity.” If you cannot prove the reality of these concepts, then you cannot legally enforce adherence to them. They become little more than secular religious beliefs. As an example of what happens when attempts are made to enforce subjective beliefs on a population, reference the recent demise of Nicola Sturgeon, the former First Minister of Scotland, whose eight-year tenure as one of the most successful and longest-serving politicians in Europe came crashing down just weeks ago after she bet her career on the failed policy of “gender self-identification.”

If it could bring down Nicola Sturgeon—it can bring down this district and everyone in it. 

As a parent who is invested in public education as our single greatest tool for social unification, for elevating every child’s chance for personal success and happiness, for teaching the critical thinking skills necessary to recognize and discern truth—I do not want to see the demise of our schools. I want our schools to thrive as incubators of truth so that our children can thrive as seekers of truth. By sacrificing truth on an altar of ideology and deferring to political ideologues—you are putting the schools and, by extension, our children at risk. 

By attempting to quickly sneak this through in a non-transparent fashion, you’ve made matters worse—damaging trust, inflaming opposition, exacerbating conflict and putting the very students whom you hope to protect at risk of being thrust into the public eye where they will become lightning rods for controversy.

A CRITICAL THINKING EXERCISE: 

Indulge me for a moment and ask yourselves this simple question:

• What if I’m wrong? 

What if you’re wrong? What if those of my ilk are right? What if there is no “gender identity” and, by extension, no such thing as a “transgender” youth? What if there is no such thing as an “authentic self”? What if we are simply what we all outwardly appear to be—men and women, with varying degrees of characteristics traditionally understood as more or less masculine and feminine? How then to explain the growing incidence of youths expressing cross-sex identification?

The answer is found in the resources I cited at top. In the absence of unprovable explanations like “gender identity,” you are left only with evidence-based explanations which would break down into a variety of classes:

Social contagion; internalized misogyny; internalized homophobia; autism spectrum disorders; PTSD; sexual abuse; personality disorders; trauma; ROGD; autogynephilia, autoandrophilia and some small percentage of actual, diagnosable gender dysphoria—which, according to the DSM (imperfect as it is) is not an “identity” but a psychiatric mental disorder belonging to a subset of broader dysphorias like anorexia and BIID (Body Integrity Identity Disorder). 

If you are wrong - and I am right—then you are affirming and depathologizing actual pathologies and mental illnesses—and at least two fetishistic paraphilias (autogynephilia and autoandrophilia)—which risks putting these youths on a path to irreversible transition and lifelong medicalization, including sterilization, the surgical removal of healthy organs and lifelong dependency on artificial hormones, the devastating long-term consequences of which are only beginning to come to light. 

If you are wrong - and I am right - then this policy will not make these students’ lives better. It will ruin them. Spend any amount of time on the detransition subreddit and you will weep for what has been wrought on innocent children and unsuspecting adults in the name of ideology. These are the testimonies of people who were robbed of their health, hopes and dreams in the name of an ideology which furnished the false promise of an “authentic self.” 

You’ve indicated that much of this policy relies on what teenagers had told you about themselves. Do any of you have teenagers? Do you remember being a teenager? Is there any more emotionally unstable or unreliable cohort in the world than a teenager? The human brain doesn’t fully develop until 26. Emotional maturity through life experience is typically achieved much later. I will not argue that the feelings of teenagers don’t matter—they do. But they are not determinative. A key part of being an adult, of being a parent, is being there to guide teenagers through their emotional ups and downs—not to be guided by them.  

Some have noted a growing number of students “identifying” as “non-binary” without an actual breakdown by sex. I can tell you right now that I don’t need one. I’ll wager that at least 80% and likely as many as 100% of those students are female. How do I know that? Because the vast majority of those doing so worldwide are women, sometimes by a factor as high as seven, a phenomenon associated with the rise in young girls identifying as transgender and experiencing ROGD (rapid-onset gender dysphoria). If you have not read Abigail Shrier’s extensively sourced book on the subject, “Irreversible Damage,” I advise you to do so. Could the concurrent mental health crisis impacting young girls also play a part? Or the disproportionate number of young women identifying out of girlhood and womanhood in just the past few years? Or the fact that social media adversely impacts girls more than boys, largely because of issues related to body image? To pretend that the confluence of all of these things at a profoundly stressful and misogynistic moment in time is merely coincidental requires a superhuman level of deniability. For daring to point out the obvious—that this is all deeply rooted in misogyny—the author of this piece was fired. Imagine that. 

As to the male side of non-binary identification, it’s worth reading the testimony of the man who claims to have started the trend—which he now says was all a sham. 

If I’m right - and if you’re wrong—then maybe the dramatic increase in young girls identifying out of womanhood is because we’re teaching them to hate themselves, because we’re allowing male fetishists (autogynephiles) to appropriate their personhood, rob them of their athletic achievements and invade their private spaces in what they see as exploitation and mockery. People can declare that “trans women are women” all they want, but based on an analysis of UK statistics, the majority of natal females incarcerated at women’s prisons are disproportionately victims of sexual violence whereas a disproportionate majority of trans-identifying males are perpetrators of sexual violence. So prevalent is this trend throughout the world, we would do well to ask whether the compulsion to rape and kill women and children is also a component of their “authentic selves."

All of which begs the question: who would want to be a woman in the midst of a global assault like this?

Here’s how journalist Genevieve Gluck sees it:

No man is entitled to women’s bodies or personhood. The belief that suffering constitutes an earned ‘right’ to women’s bodies and identity—via surgery or hormones—is underpinned by entitlement, and is a view that sustains all facets of the sex industry, including the prostitution and pornography industries, but also the surrogacy and the transsexual / transgender industries.

When women’s personhood is considered a purchasable commodity, we lose everything. We lose our right to self-determination and autonomy, but worse still, we become reconceptualized as less than human, as resources to be exploited. 

If I’m right—and you’re wrong—then a policy to keep transitions secret from parents becomes a threat—not just to parental rights but to the health of the children in question. If I’m right—and you’re wrong—then you should first be considering the prevalence of depression, anxiety, autism, eating disorders and other comorbidities as instigating factors and not immediately jumping to an increasingly discredited ideological “affirmation” model with no grounding whatsoever in science or medicine.

In the face of a growing body of evidence that pediatric cross-sex identification actually masks deeper, more severe conditions and mental health concerns—in the face of a swelling population of desisters and detransitioners - in the face of an unprecedented mental health crisis among young women—how confident are you that you’re not wrong?

If you have even a shred of doubt - and you should—then it is no longer even a question that educators have no further role to play in these matters. District officials don’t have to deal with the long-term consequences of such decisions. Families do. These are family matters and family decisions and your policy should be one of ideological neutrality and unerring deferral to parental rights.

Under normal conditions, the prospect of interfering with the parent-child relationship by keeping such sensitive information from parents, as you are proposing, would be unconscionable. Under current conditions, it’s immoral. 

A BETTER PATH:

We can all agree that no student experiencing gender dysphoria or expressing a cross-sex identity should be treated with anything but compassion and respect. Unfortunately, policies like this favor certain groups with more compassion and respect than others, deferring to an ideological orthodoxy many find not just alien, but hostile. A truly inclusive policy would be welcoming to all, hostile toward none. 

At a minimum, we should be able to at least agree to declare the schools neutral territory from political battles and culture wars. Even with a topic this divisive, there must be found a middle road where everyone can “agree to disagree."

Any path to compromise must begin with a key concession on your part:

• Compassion does not require affirmation. 

Everyone appears to agree there should be no tolerance for bullying and a full effort to furnish all students the best possible environment in which to learn and thrive. Disagreements emerge only where policies are deemed to infringe on the rights and expectations of others, and which compel affirmation of non-evidentiary beliefs with which they disagree. 

This should not be a stumbling block. If we can treat all students compassionately, respect the sanctity of belief and conscience, and ensure privacy where expected and fairness where warranted, while protecting opportunities for all to excel and reach for their hopes and dreams, than we can craft a policy acceptable to everyone. This already works where religious belief is concerned—we do not, for instance, need to affirm Judaism to fight antisemitism. The same principle should apply where secular beliefs like “gender identity” are concerned.  Unless it is your contention that belief in “gender identity" is a more substantial matter than religious belief—a preposterous position by any metric—this should be an incontestable compromise. To accept the need for compromise, however, you need to first appreciate there are multiple sides to this issue. Exercising compassion does not risk treading on the rights and expectations of others. Affirmation does. Allow me to illustrate a few examples. 

According to firsthand accounts, numerous district children presently take poor grades in PE because they refuse to dress out of fear that members of the opposite sex will intrude on them in the locker room. For observant Muslims, orthodox Jews and conservative Christians this constitutes more than a reasonable expectation of privacy—modesty with respect to the opposite sex is a key tenet of their faiths. Disfavoring communities of faith in the interest of advancing perceived social justice for others furnishes justice and safety to no one. It simply enables teenage mischief which, if left unchecked, escalates to teenage criminality.

As for women’s sports and locker rooms we need to first address the false equivalency between race and sex which is a dishonest dodge at best. Neither sex nor race are “identity” issues. Both are genetic. But whereas race concerns cosmetic physical characteristics specific to our species (pigmentation, hair color and texture, skeletal proportions, musculature etc.) sex is concerned with reproduction and is immutably binary not just for our species but for the entire animal kingdom. This has been true for hundreds of millions of years, without exception. There is no third gamete—not among humans, birds, insects or dinosaurs. Further, the “inclusion” argument is not whether we should separate male and female but on what basis—biological sex or “gender identity.” To pretend that segregating based on “identity” rather than biology in an activity which only exists in segregated form because of immutable, binary differences between the sexes is the very definition of dishonest and unfair. This is further underlined by the fact that politicians continue to try and contort the letter and the intent of Title IX—which was written specifically to address sex—to incorporate “gender identity” because they know precisely how difficult it would be to ask Congress to revisit and rewrite the law. But make no mistake—Title IX addresses sex, and only sex. Any infringement on the athletic opportunities of biological women is a de facto violation of Title IX.   

To put a finer point on it, it has always been deemed lawful and acceptable to discriminate where the class in question is justifiably benefitted and excluded classes are not unjustifiably harmed. This is why heavyweight boxers are not permitted to fight flyweights and why college students do not enjoy senior discounts. Women’s sex-based rights in athletics and elsewhere, along with associated expectations of privacy, have been upheld by Congress and the courts because women represent a historically marginalized, discrete biological class. Women’s athletics is a physiological competition the existence of which is defined by the unique characteristics of this class. It is justifiable and reasonable to exclude males, no matter their self-identification. You can find more on the topic from swimmer Riley Gaines and at She Won. 

Finally, on the matter of overnight field trips, your policy argues that students should be assigned accommodations “in a manner consistent with their gender identity.” But what about those asked to share those accommodations? Who don’t believe in gender identity? Have you given no thought to how objectionable and violative this policy is, especially to people of faith or those who entrust the district with safeguarding the innocence and modesty of children?  Furnishing suitable accommodations to students and chaperones with cross-sex identities is compassionate—until you attempt to enforce affirmation by compelling others to share those accommodations. 

Once again, this is a distinction which has allowed the United States and most of the civilized western world to achieve unparalleled religious pluralism after many centuries of bloody sectarian warfare. If it’s good enough to make peace between people of contrary religious beliefs, it’s good enough to make peace between people who differ on their beliefs regarding sex and gender. 

The trickier component is how to implement such a compromise. Parents on opposing sides of this issue need an open forum in which to dialogue, hash out their disagreements, reach common ground and then bring their recommendation to the board. In the absence of any such dialogue, this policy will be rendered ineffectual. 

And before you argue that your hands are tied by state law, it should be noted that state laws and educational code guidance in this area are notoriously vague, contradictory and, on the whole, legally unenforceable. As previously noted, theoretical, non-evidentiary concepts like “gender” and “gender identity” have no legal standing. You cannot prosecute or discipline someone for refusing to accept a belief for which there is no evidence. Districts also have tremendous latitude to disregard any guidance which is deemed unenforceable at the district level. You can and should exercise that discretion here, as have countless other districts. 

Please return to the drawing board and revisit this subject in a transparent, community-inclusive process. 

Additional Resources:

1. SEGM — the Society for Evidence Based Gender Medicine

2. PITT - Parents with Inconvenient Truths about Trans

3. Genspect 

4. Our Duty

5. Sex Matters

6. Stats for Gender

7. Resist Gender Education

8. Partners for Ethical Care

9. Reduxx Feminist News

10. Reality’s Last Stand - Colin Wright

11. Bayswater Support Group

12. GETA - Gender Exploratory Therapy Association

13. Beyond WPATH

14. Detrans Voices

15. Gender: A Wider Lens podcast

16. The Gender Resource Guide

17. Transgender Trend

18. 4th Wave

19. Women are Human

20. The Lies They Tell

21. gender:hacked by Eliza Mondegreen

I sat there shell shocked, feeling that I had just read something extremely important. I sat there contemplating what this might mean if the right people read it? What could it mean if everybody read it? 

A week prior I had reached out to a support group saying that I need help balancing my life—this obsession with the transgender topic was affecting my ability to parent well and to function in my relationships. I was hooked on a sort of false energy I would get, sparked by the feelings of horror at the newest crazy thing I read, and the drama in the comments that inevitably follow. So often I was getting stuck in this social media "scrolly-scroll." In addition, I felt guilty about my addiction to social media and my inefficiency around the house. Last week one wise parent suggested that I put my scrolly-scroll to work and actually find a way to help. 

So after reading this ground breaking article, I did the usual; I immediately shared Jamie Reed's story to Facebook groups that I was a member of, and I saw that other people had already shared it to several places I checked. I was optimistic to see that it was spreading like wildfire. I thought surely if this doesn't change things in a big way nothing will. 

I also shared it on my wall and even sent it as a message to some individuals (which I usually refrain from.)

But the next day I realized that, while I may feel like something momentous has happened, most people that I am "friends" with are still pretty much ignoring my information sharing. I decided that there IS something more that I could do, something that takes a little more effort. Perhaps a lot more effort. I decided to jump out of my comfort zone and write a letter to people in government. 

I found this website, Who Are My Representativess, https://whoaremyrepresentatives.org/

And from there, I visited several of my representatives' websites and looked up the contact information for each senator, governor, etc. 

I went to share my letter to my governor's office first. But when I read this blurb at the end of the submission form, I actually felt terrified:

"All information provided in the form above is subject to the Public Records Act and may be disclosable upon request."

I started to imagine how I might face retaliation if highly motivated people read my submission (along with my personal identifying information) and didn't like it. I started physically shaking, and second-guessing my resolve to send letters before deciding finally that I HAD to do it (although, at the end of my letters, I added a note saying that I was afraid of persecution for speaking up).

And then I took a leap of faith and hit "submit." 

Next, I moved on to the first of my US senators. While I was in the process of filling out the email form to that senator, my youngest son (11) and my husband entered the room—and I told them what I was doing, and why I thought it was important and necessary. To my relief, they were really supportive. AND, on top of that, my son told me he was glad that I had warned him about transgender stuff, because even though he now understands the dangers, he can see how easy it is to get sucked in. In fact, as he shared, one of his good friends got sucked into it, and now she thinks she's a "he." He started to tear up as he told me this. I gave him a hug. I told him how proud I was that he heard my husband and I, thought about it, then came to these conclusions on his own.

I went back to work on sending my letters, even more convinced at how important my actions are. 

After I sent my plea to my second US Senator, I moved on to my US Congressperson but was faced with a 2000 character limit. Ugh, my emotional letter was about triple that! So I editing it down. That was very time consuming. But it made me think about the fact that the people opening these emails and reading them might not spend their time reading a long emotional plea. Maybe they only pay attention to the ones that are extremely concise and well written. So I tried my best to retain my most important points, not be redundant, and cut out (important, descriptive) details to make my submission fit. 

I'm going to share one of the versions of my letter with you all, not the extra short 2000 character version, but one of the slightly condensed versions. In some versions I mentioned lifelong Democratic voters becoming increasingly disillusioned with the Democratic party, and facing the choice to abandon the Democratic party. For some government offices I sent it to, it seemed appropriate to leave that out.

I hope that you find the following letter helpful and inspiring as you decide how you might also try to reach out to those in positions of power, if you feel safe doing so. 

So far I sent it to my state's governor, state attorney general, US Senators, and US Congress person. Be aware that in addition to federal legislation, the individual states are voting on these issues all the time, and the link I shared above does not help you find any state reps. So it's a good idea to get familiar with your state’s legislative site in order to call or write them as well.  If you have any other ideas of who to write to please share your ideas. 

Here's my letter: 

Dear (specific representative)

I am writing to you today about a very serious issue. 

“I have seen puberty blockers worsen the mental health outcomes of children. Children who have not contemplated suicide before being put on puberty blockers have attempted suicide after."

~Jamie Reed, former employee of a transgender clinic, self-described as progressive & queer and married to a transman herself. Jamie turned whistle-blower after she became concerned with the harm that was being done to kids, but was met with retribution from her employer when trying to raise concerns. 

The Free Press

I Thought I Was Saving Trans Kids. Now I’m Blowing the Whistle.

I am a 42-year-old St. Louis native, a queer woman, and politically to the left of Bernie Sanders. My worldview has deeply shaped my career. I have spent my professional life providing counseling to vulnerable populations: children in foster care, sexual minorities, the poor…

Read more

3 years ago · 1916 likes · 1100 comments · Jamie Reed

Jamie's story is quite possibly the most powerful thing I've read in the last three years of researching this topic. I'm hoping her testimony will finally change the policies in our institutions, and improve the outcomes for these vulnerable kids. 

But policies and outcomes can improve only if more people actually listen to those who have been harmed, and those who have witnessed the harm first-hand. 

Maybe people on both sides of the aisle can now finally listen because of the source. Jamie is obviously not conservative. She's obviously not transphobic. She's got real and valuable insider information too, because of her position at the clinic. Please read the linked article and take it seriously. The protection of children is not a partisan issue. 

Many of us parents have been shut out, and have had to be extremely careful of how we share our concerns. Our need to protect has been dismissed and vilified. Our friendships, jobs, and custody have all been threatened for trying to protect our children from harmful medical steps promoted by a rapidly growing social contagion. We are not bigots or transphobes. The vast majority of people I have spoken to are like me: left-leaning, life-long supporters of lesbian and gay rights. We are sympathetic to the struggles of transgender people and those with gender dysphoria. But what is happening to OUR children is not a gender dysphoria from an early age, nor some sort of innate gender awareness.

Instead our children are suffering various forms of discomfort that came to them for other reasons (like a difficult puberty; inability to fit in with other kids; bullying; mental health issues; a diagnosis like autism; isolation; seeking connection online; pressures from social media; being coerced online or by peer groups & activist counselors; and much more.)

What we have found with our struggling kids is that the idea of "gender-affirming" care trumps everything else that could be addressed and helped! In interactions with kids, if gender is mentioned, many professionals (who should know better) ignore all the other comorbidities or trauma in a kid's life. Kids are being led to believe that transitioning will make them happy and solve all their problems. And worse yet, kids have been encouraged to become estranged from their parents. Loving parents are seen as villains and abusers! That is so dangerous to break family bonds at a time when the kids need their parents the most.

Thank you for your time and consideration of this important issue. 

As a side note, I am actually very afraid of putting my personal information on this letter to you because of the dramatic persecution people have faced when they try to speak out. But I have to try to do my part to help children, I can't let my fear keep me silent. 

Hello Principal ——, Mr. —— and Teachers, 

I'm writing to follow up on the letter I sent opposing Administrative Regulation 259 on August 15. I've only heard back from Sonia Robertson, who implied that my position was unjustified based on the overwhelming support and applause the policy received. Her response resolved nothing and instead confirmed my unease with the school's current approach to kids like Jamie*. 

Our case is not unusual. Cash/Ash (legally Jamie) showed zero signs of gender dysphoria as a child; in the past year or so, after coming out as pansexual in sixth grade and a lesbian in eighth grade, she has now come to believe she is not a woman but a gay man, i.e, "transmasc." Partly responsible is the culture at large which has heavily influenced our daughter, plus thousands of girls around the world. Based on this phenomenon, along with the sixteen years we've spent raising her, it is our conviction that Jamie is not transgender. Additionally she is neither and has never been suicidal, meaning, she is not at risk if she is not affirmed. If affirmed however, she is at risk of medicalizing her beliefs due to psychosocial treatment at school and at risk for mental distress.

To this end, in order to maintain our closeness and simultaneously protect her from potential harm, here is the approach we use with Jamie at home, that her therapist utilizes in treatment, and the one we formally request you use at school:

1) Avoid calling her by name. We neither affirm nor deny her gender identity and instead focus on other facets of her life, such as school, work, friends, hobbies, etc. You may call her Ash, sparingly if possible, and when speaking with us, please refer to her as Jamie. 

2) Please refrain from using ANY third person pronouns. We understand that our daughter will be emotionally hurt by the use of she/her pronouns, so we are not asking for that, but we also are learning that affirming they/them or he/him pronouns carries a risk of iatrogenesis, which is an intervention that is itself the cause of an illness. In other words, social transition is part of a medical protocol that has medical implications. It bears emphasizing that affirming a child's transgender identity is not a task to be taken lightly. Social transition is a serious psychological and medical approach that necessitates cooperation, input and expertise by doctors, therapists and parents. 

3) Please do not ask her for her pronouns. This furthers her confusion and puts far too much importance on her perceived identity. Refrain from the gender conversation whenever possible. 

4) Do not keep secrets from us. Do not change her name or pronouns or affirm any emerging identities without first notifying us. 

My husband and I thankfully have a close relationship with our daughter. She knows that we are not transphobic, but skeptical, and that we have her best interests at heart. She knows that we are on her side, even if we don't side with her. 

Regardless of the policy and whether or not it gets amended to support kids like Jamie, it is our hope to work with the school instead of against it, in order to truly keep our daughter safe from harm, so that she can learn and thrive this year and in the future.

Thank you for reading. Please let us know in a timely fashion that you agree to our request, and we are available to meet to discuss the matter further if you wish.

Sincerely,

Felice Killer