Quite simply, CRT postulates that all white people are racists who are actively involved in, or supportive of systemically oppressing all black people.
This is not true, not in the past or in the present.
Are you in Australia? Do you know other parents in a similar situation? If you’d like to be in touch with some contact Genspect. Also see PAGD parent group on Twitter/ X
I always come back to how basic Feminism, real Radical Feminism and not the liberal crap can help. That is what helped me to feel very happy and proud to be a girl, female, and Lesbian. If only I had found it when I was younger.
There is so much disinformation that it can be forgotten how badly girls are treated: constantly reminded they are less than males, grotesque pornifying of females (including girls) in the media/films/TV, etc. Even supposed women heroes and role models are made up, exposed and in high heels. Any discussion of clothing goes right to sexually dividing them, so the most grotesque crap is called "women's clothes," while "men's clothes" are dignified and covered (and usually better made and cheaper). So girls are expected to be sexually harassed (and even told that means they "like" you), and worse. (When I was knocked down by boys and my arm broken when I was 8, my mother asked hopefully, "Were they flirting with you?")
In an effort to keep girls "girls," too many parents want to keep "feminizing" them with the goal to keep them looking what to many girls is humilating and horrible. Support them to be free of this propaganda.
Who in their right mind would want to be a girl as defined by worse than second class? Why not become the people who are respected, paid better, and not constantly prey for assault?
Girls need to be supported to say no to all of the fake "femininity" that so many hate and that literally hurts our bodies, that is demeaning, and dangerous. SAYING NO TO THIS CRAP DOES NOT MEAN BEING MALE OR WANTING TO BE MALE. This had been basic Feminism for decades, but try to see a popular female star in the media who is not in crippling shoes and half naked.
This is what they are dealing with, and all girls need to be supported to be comfortable on every level in their bodies, clothes, shoes. And not to expect constant pain as normal fitting in. And give them support to say no.
But really ask them why they want to be male, and can they live as "male" without harming themselves with surgery and hormones. Do they really like how boys and men are, or are just desperately wanting to escape the hatred girls get? What if part of this is that they don't know how they can be accepted loving another girl? Support them in exploring what they are wanting and most will realize they want to be treated as equals, and not be male at all.
Another aspect is how much males are worshipped in our cultures and protected from what is done to and expected of girls. It's criticized, but real Feminism helps us recognize so many of the cruel and dangerous things men do, from rape to war. Any way to show girls how men are not always the heroes to be emulated, but often dangerous can get girls to stop and think about what they are thinking they want to become.
For those who are looking for a therapist. This is a group of therapists dealing with porn addiction. In case this is an avenue that has influenced anyone’s child in feeing like they don’t like their own skin or who they are, I thought I would share. I want to share whatever I can to help those who are struggling with their identities. And their families too. Full disclosure, I am Catholic and these therapists are Catholic. This substack is awesome. Thank you to all who share your stories. I pray everyday for these attacks on children to stop. Praying for everyone here. https://integrityrestored.com/finding-a-good-therapist/
I mean like great books courses reading Latin and Greek classics. Victorian classics. American classics. Not woke for sure. Russian classics. That’s what I studied at U Mich in early 80s. Unfortunately in this day they will be exposed to some bad ideology. Studying Judeo-Christian theology is critical esp the Bible. It is a challenge for sure.
Folks, it's obvious! Keep whatever remaining kids you have off social media! Take away their phones, or severely limit them so they can't waste their lives on social media. That's where they're getting all this shit. And talk to them about this 'privilege' crap! We may have hit 'peak woke' with the far-left's/woke's embrace of Hamas after Oct 7, and the foundation is beginning to crumble.
Honestly, I don’t know. I’m thinking for some organizations yes, anything other than letting the child lead/immediate affirmation is “conversion therapy”.
I appreciate your concern. Know as a “do no harm” practitioner I do not exist in a fear state. I mean how would that color the authenticity of my work with clients?
Additionally, the only fear/awe I know is of HaShem (G-d). He is my judge & no other.
I'm sorry you too are now going thru this. I imagine her being 18 makes it more difficult. If you haven't already I would suggest you listed to a Wider Lens Podcast, it will help your sanity. There's hope, don't despair. If you have any power over it, I would remove her phone & internet access for at least a month. Ask her to allow her self time to assess without any influences what so ever. I would encourage her to visit GenSpect & watch some detrasitioner stories after that. Afterall they were just as convinced as her. Why is valid to listed to transitioners only, but discredit detransitioners? She may find she has a lot in common with detransitioners & it will a plant a seed of doubt. Lastly, I would beg her to wait until she is at least 25 to medicalize. Her body & brain are still developing, at 25 you would be more inclined to support her. Just some suggestions from one mom to another. Good luck & god bless! I wish this had never happened to you, to any of us. :(
This did NOT work with my daughter and actually solidified her in her decision. Exercise caution with any anti-trans information. If they have to defend it, then it will likely cement it.
Sadly, I agree. Exercise caution. Feel your kid out before assuming they're going to be open to what you have to say.
Part of the trans indoctrination process involves learning how to tell if your parents are transphobes and TERFs, so that you can cut them out of your life, at which point you can acquire a new "glitter family" consisting of other trans-identifying kids and the teachers and doctors who groom and profit from this cult.
There may be no harm in trying. But as Concerned Parent warns, don't assume that a well-indoctrinated child is open in any way to gender-critical ideas. However, educating oneself is important, and the Gender A Wider Lens podcast, along with the Genspect website, are very good resources.
Yup, I could see where all of this was going a long time ago, but particularly during the Obama presidency. Then it all accelerated when Trump got in. White Guilt Neurosis is a psychological disorder that results from intense toxic messaging in the popular culture. Cultural Elite propagandists deftly employ the warfare as part of their war on whiteness and western civilization. It exploits the natural capacity for empathy inherent in western man, but also the mothering instinct of women who are easily manipulated via the powerful messaging. At the IADMHP we advocate treatment and suggest treatment protocols for White Guilt Neurosis. The treatment is akin to helping people recover from psychological abuse, which is not mysterious and what this phenomenon represents. We provide containment, support, and reframing to help clients realize they have been programmed to hate/blame themselves. We help them feel good about their heritage. It is also helpful to simultaneously offer a reference group of survivors with whom the recovering person can find better reality testing and encouragement for their new-found confidence in themselves. We are not treating Gender Dysphoria. We are treating White Guilt Neurosis
Hi, I'm in Australia too and there are so few people to talk to. My son (20) is currently transitioning with hormones and I have been grieving and trying to come to terms with it and making some peace with it. Most comments I get from other adults are along the lines of, 'Better a trans child than a dead child,' which I find utterly disrespectful, cold and it makes me want to cry. People are very worried about sounding transphobic and so there is little to no discussion, unless I find someone who understands and then we speak frankly behind closed doors.
Part of the process of grieving was making a choice between having my son in my life or not. He made it clear that if I was not going to affirm him then I won't be in his life. I chose being in his life. It's been such a sad and worrying process to go through as a parent and one I have done alone. I don't think there is any support for parents in Australia in terms of what we go through and the grief that's involved. It's seems like it's all affirmation here and people treading on eggshells for fear of saying the wrong thing. Best wishes to all of you.
I agree there is a lack of support resources in Australia. Her GP and Psychologist were both Gender affirming because that is the protocol they use. She was also referred to a “Gender Clinic” where she would be given testosterone no questions asked. They just check boxes. At least her GP (who is also my GP) had the decency to express her sorrow for me-the Psych just gave me a leaflet to attend a Parents Group to help me learn to affirm her! I tore it up. I’m a proactive person and a doer and I won’t just give in but I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who has info about non affirming medical practitioners. My experience so far is a lot of Therapists won’t touch it.
I'm in Australia too, I hear you my grief is relentless. My then "daughter" ran awy from home at 17 was gone for 2 months, living at home with us now age 20 but the egg shells, the daily tension, the change in family dynamic. The constant underlying saddness the lonely journey as a parent, the affirmation - need I go on ?
Heartbreaking and at the same time infuriating. Wanting them to leave but terrified what will happen if they do. Not knowing how to broach the subject of thinking about what the future may hold if they insist on damaging their natural body without creating a furore. Not knowing what to say so saying nothing, then feeling mad at myself for being unable to articulate all the tricky concepts without getting resentful and mad at her. I’m researching, reading, and trying to be her Mum because I adore her but I’m just so anxious all the time. I went to a Therapist and she was lovely but has no experience in dealing with parents of ROGD kids. Thank God for PITT and Genspect and the various helpful Podcasts because otherwise I’d lose my mind completely.
I read a lot too but sometimes I need to take a break from it all because of the grief. The more I learn, the more I worry. When I simply focus on my son as the human being I love, the simpler life is and let go. I haven't found any therapists that understand the parent's perspective, only on the affirmative or condescending side.
Parents' grief and outrage whose children have fallen into the abyss of the trans cult are deemed not worthy of compassion as we endure this mass psychosis. It's a very lonely loss. At 19, my son succumbed to this heinous ideology that is stealing his health and potential. Next week, his 22nd birthday will not be a day of pride and gratitude, but instead filled with sorrow.
I explained to my daughters that transitioning is a grown up decision for people who are mature and economically independent and therefore they could not have hormones or surgery whilst living at home. I said I would not put a single cent towards what I see as the destruction of their natural health but would do everything I could to support their journey to becoming economically independent and healthy adults. I refused to get them a therapist and instead put the money into paying for their gym memberships, camping gear, singing classes, overseas holidays, horse riding, anything within reason that would bring them joy, new experiences and skills, and that highlights the importance of not being a perpetual medical patient. So far, the 20 year old is still at home with us and the 17 year old has another year of high school before she can make decisions for herself. We use their birth names but both of them use trans names with their friends.
It’s a nightmare balancing act that could all implode at any second. I’m so angry with doctors and lawyers for creating this organ-sacrifice family-destroying social contagion.
Totally agree. My daughter does the same with her friends and considers her Dad and I a ”total loss” when it comes to pronouns and her made up name. We were at the family dentist today and the receptionist who is a Mum around the same vintage as me asked me if she should change my daughter’s name in their system to her preferred name. I said “yes I guess so” and we both agreed it’s so hard for people in professional settings to know what to do particularly if the parents of the 18 year old are still footing the bill. I just said “I get it but I’m at a loss most of the time because everything has changed so rapidly.” She agreed and said “It’s a whole new world isn’t it?”
The 20 year old has always been social justice-y and she’s never fit in with her same-age peers. The 17 year old has ADHD and autism. She hated the physical changes of puberty and the male attention which came with it. Both of them ‘came out’ at the peak of the pandemic and online schooling.
I wonder if part of the reason for this is we have created bad connotations for male (sexual) attention. Isn't that a positive thing? I spoke with someone a few years ago who said she was tomboyish as a young girl and felt sort of trans until she developed physically and noticed how much the boys like that. She liked it too and dropped all of the trans foolishness. Now she has a very active and fulfilling sex life that she describes as one of the best parts of her.
Of course it should be a positive wonderful, awkward, fun, learning curve not a terrifying, ugly, fearful, cringeworthy concept to avoid. I’m pretty certain my daughter hasn’t had a sexual experience yet because she is fleeing from it. I know it’s a confusing time and they are bombarded with so much imagery (ie pornography: which I find nasty and animalistic) so how must she feel? It’s a waking nightmare and so complicated now.
I also think it’s really important to combat the suicide myth and highlight the fact that the suicide rate for post transition is 20 times the average, because of course life is rubbish without functioning genitals and with a drastically reduced dating pool.
Well said! My daughter told her father on our recent OS holiday while they were enjoying some father daughter pool time (and she started getting all patronising towards him about not affirming her) that she could suicide because of us. He told her she was being ridiculous and to “pull her head in”. I was horrified when he told me what she said. He was hurt but his response was “Don’t negotiate with terrorists any don’t argue with idiots!” I thought that was quite good!
I agree, the suicide comment stop any meaningful or compassionate discussion because of how much power it holds. Like a threat really. If you don't affirm your child...you may feel guilty the rest of your life..especially if they kill themselves. It's absolutely brutal.
Same story here with my daughter in Brisbane, Australia. It is just not talked about, Most people have no idea what is going on in schools, even primary schools
I'm so sorry you are in this situation - I am in a similar boat. My daughter ran away from home 15 months ago because I don't accept the gender ideology stuff she got wrapped up in, and vehemently oppose the cult she doesn't realise she is in. My husband is taking the path of least resistance and goes along with whatever she says, which is tearing our family apart 😢
The "cult" thing and the "privilege" thing resonate with me. My younger daughter believes all this nonsense as well and just yesterday was telling me all about cults and the strategies they use to keep their disciples in check. All the things she was saying were exactly what the trans activists themselves are doing but she couldn't see the parallels. 🤦♀️
I wish I knew what to do, and I wish I could offer you some hope, but sadly, I have none myself. I truly hope things work out for you and your family ❤️
And you. It’s just so draining but I think the tide is turning. My husband deals with it differently to me and quite frankly whilst I sometimes find it frustrating I also get some good feedback from him. “Don’t negotiate with terrorists and don’t argue with idiots.” Is one of his nuggets of wisdom and it took a while to sink in but he’s right they act like terrorists with their threats and adherence to a destructive ideology.
I’m so sorry for you and all of us. I have no advice. We re stuck too. Our daughter is 21. My husband lives in fear she I’ll disappear from our lives. I want to be tough on her and cut off college money. He wont let me. She disrespects me and mostly will not speak to me. My only suggestion---- no college or rent help if they are engaging in chemical or surgical body modification. Our child was in college already when this came out. COVID isolation. And NO pronouns. But what do i know? I know its hell.
Proceed with caution when using tuition as leverage. We told our daughter that we wanted her to hold off on medical transition until she graduated from Brandeis University. We told her we would no longer pay tuition if she moved forward with cross sex hormones. As a result she emancipated, began transition through the Brandeis Counseling Center and Waltham Planned Parenthood. She then reapplied for financial aid at Brandeis as emancipated and got a full ride at Brandeis. As we predicted she dropped out without finishing her bachelors. She cut us off completely for resisting her transition and trying to slow things down. She has not seen us or spoken to us in going on 4 years now. Our hearts are broken, our family incomplete and grieving. Words to the wise
The writer did not intend to say "race" was to blame for driving the decisions of "white" young people in believing they can change sex. She was alluding to the theory of Critical Social Justice and how it deploys the strategy of dividing people into "oppressed and oppressors". Many observers see this as a strategy cultivated by mid century Marxist activists who were trying to instigate social change through conflict. It is easy to see parallels with how Critical Race Theorists and Queer Theory activists use this divide and conquer model to advance their cause.
Quite simply, CRT postulates that all white people are racists who are actively involved in, or supportive of systemically oppressing all black people.
This is not true, not in the past or in the present.
Are you in Australia? Do you know other parents in a similar situation? If you’d like to be in touch with some contact Genspect. Also see PAGD parent group on Twitter/ X
Thankyou! I am in Australia and I will look into your suggestions I appreciate you caring.
I always come back to how basic Feminism, real Radical Feminism and not the liberal crap can help. That is what helped me to feel very happy and proud to be a girl, female, and Lesbian. If only I had found it when I was younger.
There is so much disinformation that it can be forgotten how badly girls are treated: constantly reminded they are less than males, grotesque pornifying of females (including girls) in the media/films/TV, etc. Even supposed women heroes and role models are made up, exposed and in high heels. Any discussion of clothing goes right to sexually dividing them, so the most grotesque crap is called "women's clothes," while "men's clothes" are dignified and covered (and usually better made and cheaper). So girls are expected to be sexually harassed (and even told that means they "like" you), and worse. (When I was knocked down by boys and my arm broken when I was 8, my mother asked hopefully, "Were they flirting with you?")
In an effort to keep girls "girls," too many parents want to keep "feminizing" them with the goal to keep them looking what to many girls is humilating and horrible. Support them to be free of this propaganda.
Who in their right mind would want to be a girl as defined by worse than second class? Why not become the people who are respected, paid better, and not constantly prey for assault?
Girls need to be supported to say no to all of the fake "femininity" that so many hate and that literally hurts our bodies, that is demeaning, and dangerous. SAYING NO TO THIS CRAP DOES NOT MEAN BEING MALE OR WANTING TO BE MALE. This had been basic Feminism for decades, but try to see a popular female star in the media who is not in crippling shoes and half naked.
This is what they are dealing with, and all girls need to be supported to be comfortable on every level in their bodies, clothes, shoes. And not to expect constant pain as normal fitting in. And give them support to say no.
But really ask them why they want to be male, and can they live as "male" without harming themselves with surgery and hormones. Do they really like how boys and men are, or are just desperately wanting to escape the hatred girls get? What if part of this is that they don't know how they can be accepted loving another girl? Support them in exploring what they are wanting and most will realize they want to be treated as equals, and not be male at all.
Another aspect is how much males are worshipped in our cultures and protected from what is done to and expected of girls. It's criticized, but real Feminism helps us recognize so many of the cruel and dangerous things men do, from rape to war. Any way to show girls how men are not always the heroes to be emulated, but often dangerous can get girls to stop and think about what they are thinking they want to become.
For those who are looking for a therapist. This is a group of therapists dealing with porn addiction. In case this is an avenue that has influenced anyone’s child in feeing like they don’t like their own skin or who they are, I thought I would share. I want to share whatever I can to help those who are struggling with their identities. And their families too. Full disclosure, I am Catholic and these therapists are Catholic. This substack is awesome. Thank you to all who share your stories. I pray everyday for these attacks on children to stop. Praying for everyone here. https://integrityrestored.com/finding-a-good-therapist/
Thank you so much!
I mean like great books courses reading Latin and Greek classics. Victorian classics. American classics. Not woke for sure. Russian classics. That’s what I studied at U Mich in early 80s. Unfortunately in this day they will be exposed to some bad ideology. Studying Judeo-Christian theology is critical esp the Bible. It is a challenge for sure.
Folks, it's obvious! Keep whatever remaining kids you have off social media! Take away their phones, or severely limit them so they can't waste their lives on social media. That's where they're getting all this shit. And talk to them about this 'privilege' crap! We may have hit 'peak woke' with the far-left's/woke's embrace of Hamas after Oct 7, and the foundation is beginning to crumble.
Honestly, I don’t know. I’m thinking for some organizations yes, anything other than letting the child lead/immediate affirmation is “conversion therapy”.
I appreciate your concern. Know as a “do no harm” practitioner I do not exist in a fear state. I mean how would that color the authenticity of my work with clients?
Additionally, the only fear/awe I know is of HaShem (G-d). He is my judge & no other.
Blessings to All
I'm sorry you too are now going thru this. I imagine her being 18 makes it more difficult. If you haven't already I would suggest you listed to a Wider Lens Podcast, it will help your sanity. There's hope, don't despair. If you have any power over it, I would remove her phone & internet access for at least a month. Ask her to allow her self time to assess without any influences what so ever. I would encourage her to visit GenSpect & watch some detrasitioner stories after that. Afterall they were just as convinced as her. Why is valid to listed to transitioners only, but discredit detransitioners? She may find she has a lot in common with detransitioners & it will a plant a seed of doubt. Lastly, I would beg her to wait until she is at least 25 to medicalize. Her body & brain are still developing, at 25 you would be more inclined to support her. Just some suggestions from one mom to another. Good luck & god bless! I wish this had never happened to you, to any of us. :(
This did NOT work with my daughter and actually solidified her in her decision. Exercise caution with any anti-trans information. If they have to defend it, then it will likely cement it.
Sadly, I agree. Exercise caution. Feel your kid out before assuming they're going to be open to what you have to say.
Part of the trans indoctrination process involves learning how to tell if your parents are transphobes and TERFs, so that you can cut them out of your life, at which point you can acquire a new "glitter family" consisting of other trans-identifying kids and the teachers and doctors who groom and profit from this cult.
There may be no harm in trying. But as Concerned Parent warns, don't assume that a well-indoctrinated child is open in any way to gender-critical ideas. However, educating oneself is important, and the Gender A Wider Lens podcast, along with the Genspect website, are very good resources.
I know you are right. I am so sad for you and your daughter. Thank u for reminding me to think it through.
Yup, I could see where all of this was going a long time ago, but particularly during the Obama presidency. Then it all accelerated when Trump got in. White Guilt Neurosis is a psychological disorder that results from intense toxic messaging in the popular culture. Cultural Elite propagandists deftly employ the warfare as part of their war on whiteness and western civilization. It exploits the natural capacity for empathy inherent in western man, but also the mothering instinct of women who are easily manipulated via the powerful messaging. At the IADMHP we advocate treatment and suggest treatment protocols for White Guilt Neurosis. The treatment is akin to helping people recover from psychological abuse, which is not mysterious and what this phenomenon represents. We provide containment, support, and reframing to help clients realize they have been programmed to hate/blame themselves. We help them feel good about their heritage. It is also helpful to simultaneously offer a reference group of survivors with whom the recovering person can find better reality testing and encouragement for their new-found confidence in themselves. We are not treating Gender Dysphoria. We are treating White Guilt Neurosis
Hi, I'm in Australia too and there are so few people to talk to. My son (20) is currently transitioning with hormones and I have been grieving and trying to come to terms with it and making some peace with it. Most comments I get from other adults are along the lines of, 'Better a trans child than a dead child,' which I find utterly disrespectful, cold and it makes me want to cry. People are very worried about sounding transphobic and so there is little to no discussion, unless I find someone who understands and then we speak frankly behind closed doors.
Part of the process of grieving was making a choice between having my son in my life or not. He made it clear that if I was not going to affirm him then I won't be in his life. I chose being in his life. It's been such a sad and worrying process to go through as a parent and one I have done alone. I don't think there is any support for parents in Australia in terms of what we go through and the grief that's involved. It's seems like it's all affirmation here and people treading on eggshells for fear of saying the wrong thing. Best wishes to all of you.
I agree there is a lack of support resources in Australia. Her GP and Psychologist were both Gender affirming because that is the protocol they use. She was also referred to a “Gender Clinic” where she would be given testosterone no questions asked. They just check boxes. At least her GP (who is also my GP) had the decency to express her sorrow for me-the Psych just gave me a leaflet to attend a Parents Group to help me learn to affirm her! I tore it up. I’m a proactive person and a doer and I won’t just give in but I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who has info about non affirming medical practitioners. My experience so far is a lot of Therapists won’t touch it.
I'm in Australia too, I hear you my grief is relentless. My then "daughter" ran awy from home at 17 was gone for 2 months, living at home with us now age 20 but the egg shells, the daily tension, the change in family dynamic. The constant underlying saddness the lonely journey as a parent, the affirmation - need I go on ?
Heartbreaking and at the same time infuriating. Wanting them to leave but terrified what will happen if they do. Not knowing how to broach the subject of thinking about what the future may hold if they insist on damaging their natural body without creating a furore. Not knowing what to say so saying nothing, then feeling mad at myself for being unable to articulate all the tricky concepts without getting resentful and mad at her. I’m researching, reading, and trying to be her Mum because I adore her but I’m just so anxious all the time. I went to a Therapist and she was lovely but has no experience in dealing with parents of ROGD kids. Thank God for PITT and Genspect and the various helpful Podcasts because otherwise I’d lose my mind completely.
I read a lot too but sometimes I need to take a break from it all because of the grief. The more I learn, the more I worry. When I simply focus on my son as the human being I love, the simpler life is and let go. I haven't found any therapists that understand the parent's perspective, only on the affirmative or condescending side.
Yes, relentless grief. That is a good way to describe this experience.
Parents' grief and outrage whose children have fallen into the abyss of the trans cult are deemed not worthy of compassion as we endure this mass psychosis. It's a very lonely loss. At 19, my son succumbed to this heinous ideology that is stealing his health and potential. Next week, his 22nd birthday will not be a day of pride and gratitude, but instead filled with sorrow.
I think we grieve the loss of their healthy bodies more than anything. No one seems to understand that in the wider community.
I agree we are just viewed as unsupportive -
watching our child distroy their potential & health
I explained to my daughters that transitioning is a grown up decision for people who are mature and economically independent and therefore they could not have hormones or surgery whilst living at home. I said I would not put a single cent towards what I see as the destruction of their natural health but would do everything I could to support their journey to becoming economically independent and healthy adults. I refused to get them a therapist and instead put the money into paying for their gym memberships, camping gear, singing classes, overseas holidays, horse riding, anything within reason that would bring them joy, new experiences and skills, and that highlights the importance of not being a perpetual medical patient. So far, the 20 year old is still at home with us and the 17 year old has another year of high school before she can make decisions for herself. We use their birth names but both of them use trans names with their friends.
It’s a nightmare balancing act that could all implode at any second. I’m so angry with doctors and lawyers for creating this organ-sacrifice family-destroying social contagion.
Totally agree. My daughter does the same with her friends and considers her Dad and I a ”total loss” when it comes to pronouns and her made up name. We were at the family dentist today and the receptionist who is a Mum around the same vintage as me asked me if she should change my daughter’s name in their system to her preferred name. I said “yes I guess so” and we both agreed it’s so hard for people in professional settings to know what to do particularly if the parents of the 18 year old are still footing the bill. I just said “I get it but I’m at a loss most of the time because everything has changed so rapidly.” She agreed and said “It’s a whole new world isn’t it?”
How did both end up doing this? Did they help convince each other? School ally group? Social media? My niece was captured at her University.
The 20 year old has always been social justice-y and she’s never fit in with her same-age peers. The 17 year old has ADHD and autism. She hated the physical changes of puberty and the male attention which came with it. Both of them ‘came out’ at the peak of the pandemic and online schooling.
Mine too! The pandemic has done so much damage.
I wonder if part of the reason for this is we have created bad connotations for male (sexual) attention. Isn't that a positive thing? I spoke with someone a few years ago who said she was tomboyish as a young girl and felt sort of trans until she developed physically and noticed how much the boys like that. She liked it too and dropped all of the trans foolishness. Now she has a very active and fulfilling sex life that she describes as one of the best parts of her.
Of course it should be a positive wonderful, awkward, fun, learning curve not a terrifying, ugly, fearful, cringeworthy concept to avoid. I’m pretty certain my daughter hasn’t had a sexual experience yet because she is fleeing from it. I know it’s a confusing time and they are bombarded with so much imagery (ie pornography: which I find nasty and animalistic) so how must she feel? It’s a waking nightmare and so complicated now.
I also think it’s really important to combat the suicide myth and highlight the fact that the suicide rate for post transition is 20 times the average, because of course life is rubbish without functioning genitals and with a drastically reduced dating pool.
Well said! My daughter told her father on our recent OS holiday while they were enjoying some father daughter pool time (and she started getting all patronising towards him about not affirming her) that she could suicide because of us. He told her she was being ridiculous and to “pull her head in”. I was horrified when he told me what she said. He was hurt but his response was “Don’t negotiate with terrorists any don’t argue with idiots!” I thought that was quite good!
I agree, the suicide comment stop any meaningful or compassionate discussion because of how much power it holds. Like a threat really. If you don't affirm your child...you may feel guilty the rest of your life..especially if they kill themselves. It's absolutely brutal.
Same story here with my daughter in Brisbane, Australia. It is just not talked about, Most people have no idea what is going on in schools, even primary schools
I'm so sorry you are in this situation - I am in a similar boat. My daughter ran away from home 15 months ago because I don't accept the gender ideology stuff she got wrapped up in, and vehemently oppose the cult she doesn't realise she is in. My husband is taking the path of least resistance and goes along with whatever she says, which is tearing our family apart 😢
The "cult" thing and the "privilege" thing resonate with me. My younger daughter believes all this nonsense as well and just yesterday was telling me all about cults and the strategies they use to keep their disciples in check. All the things she was saying were exactly what the trans activists themselves are doing but she couldn't see the parallels. 🤦♀️
I wish I knew what to do, and I wish I could offer you some hope, but sadly, I have none myself. I truly hope things work out for you and your family ❤️
And you. It’s just so draining but I think the tide is turning. My husband deals with it differently to me and quite frankly whilst I sometimes find it frustrating I also get some good feedback from him. “Don’t negotiate with terrorists and don’t argue with idiots.” Is one of his nuggets of wisdom and it took a while to sink in but he’s right they act like terrorists with their threats and adherence to a destructive ideology.
I’m so sorry for you and all of us. I have no advice. We re stuck too. Our daughter is 21. My husband lives in fear she I’ll disappear from our lives. I want to be tough on her and cut off college money. He wont let me. She disrespects me and mostly will not speak to me. My only suggestion---- no college or rent help if they are engaging in chemical or surgical body modification. Our child was in college already when this came out. COVID isolation. And NO pronouns. But what do i know? I know its hell.
You’re doing your best like all of us while they terrorise us we love them! Nuts isn’t it?
Proceed with caution when using tuition as leverage. We told our daughter that we wanted her to hold off on medical transition until she graduated from Brandeis University. We told her we would no longer pay tuition if she moved forward with cross sex hormones. As a result she emancipated, began transition through the Brandeis Counseling Center and Waltham Planned Parenthood. She then reapplied for financial aid at Brandeis as emancipated and got a full ride at Brandeis. As we predicted she dropped out without finishing her bachelors. She cut us off completely for resisting her transition and trying to slow things down. She has not seen us or spoken to us in going on 4 years now. Our hearts are broken, our family incomplete and grieving. Words to the wise
Thank you for the warning! It’s very thin ice to tread. I’m very sorry for your heartache.
How terribly sad.
Don't blame yourself for this.
The writer did not intend to say "race" was to blame for driving the decisions of "white" young people in believing they can change sex. She was alluding to the theory of Critical Social Justice and how it deploys the strategy of dividing people into "oppressed and oppressors". Many observers see this as a strategy cultivated by mid century Marxist activists who were trying to instigate social change through conflict. It is easy to see parallels with how Critical Race Theorists and Queer Theory activists use this divide and conquer model to advance their cause.
Absolutely agree! Thank you for your concise evaluation. Robynx