A Love Letter to Detransitioners

For Detrans Awareness Day Tomorrow

Dear Detransistioners-

We parents of young people caught in the trans-cult nightmare admire you from afar. But we will never "like" your posts out of fear that our child might be able to track us online. But we watch your interviews again and again, under the covers, in the middle of the night. We hear your voices cracking and we smile. We see your beautiful mismatching bodies, the haircuts changing to a more natural look, the clashing fashion styles you use as you slowly return to your true gender. We find you perfect. Absolutely, beautifully, 100% perfect. 

We listen to every single story you tell and want to go with you back in time to beat up the bully that hurt you, to put in jail the person who assaulted you, to push aside the group of ‘friends’ who encouraged you down the trans-delusion path. We want to take your suit to the Supreme Court against the therapist who wrote the approval for your surgery, who met with you all of two times and waved a wand at you, declaring you ‘trans.’ We want to revoke the license of every ‘medical professional’ you met who either knowingly steered you down a dark and dangerous road or was too stupid to understand the horror they were perpetuating. 

We want to join in your fight against the unethical doctors who claimed they could ‘heal’ your mind by destroying your body. We want to be by your side when you can't get in touch with Dr. Frankenstein who refused to call you back after you realized what you agreed to. We want to stand with you in support as you process the mental and physical pain that was meted out to you when you sought professional medical advice and instead were handed a house of horrors.  

But we also want to celebrate with you! We want to celebrate the fact that you are alive and mentally stronger than ever and on the road to recovery.  We want to celebrate your mental clarity that speaks out bravely and describes honestly the cult from which you just escaped. Like returning hostages, still wincing at the camera lights - you are living proof that there is a chance for our loved ones still captured behind the lines.   To us, you are the literal embodiment of hope. 

Yes, we celebrate when we see you physically returning to ‘yourself.’ But it is your language, what you say, how clearly you speak of breaking out of this awful cult that we treasure.  We hang on every word as you describe your sudden - or dawning – 
realization that you were duped by a group of adults who had sworn to ‘do no harm.’  We hold our breath as you describe separating from the destructive and dangerous group of ‘allies’ who theoretically were your friends though they never spoke a 
word of truth to you. We cheer (quietly) when you break up with the sparkle family to reunite with your loved ones, crying when you show pictures of your first embrace out of the cult. 

As you come forward and tell your story, there will certainly be judgement from a deluded society. There will likely be vicious messages directed at you online or in the media.  Former ‘friends’ or people you thought loved you will vanish after accusing you of abandoning the trans-cult.  In the face of all this, we want you to know that behind the scenes, in our heart of hearts, we are wrapping you in a mom’s embrace, leaning into a fatherly bear hug, giving you a sibling arm squeeze of affection and saying that you matter very, very much. 

We are with you as best we can – cheering quietly with you every step of the way - supporting you from afar - because you help fill the holes in our hearts created by the absence of the ones we love. 

For that, we thank you and wish you the very best with your new-found life,  

A mom