72 Comments
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Scherer's avatar

Beautiful words. Let us remember to say this to our daughters every day.

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David Shuford's avatar

well said

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S. A. Dad's avatar

Very good. Short and to the point. Thank you.

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Donna's avatar

Now do boys.

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EyesOpen's avatar

Again, I'm not qualified to write for the boys. I encourage any dad who is inspired by this piece to craft a version for boys. Then feel free to link it to this one for girls.

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AW's avatar

Magnificent! Is there a “10 declarations for Boys to live by” coming next? I have two boys. One of which is far down the Trnz rabbit hole. I’d love to change the wording to state boys, however, as males and females clearly differ, it’s not always that simple.

I will share this sentiment of “10” girl statements with friends who have them, so thank you.

Just lost in how to reach out the boys too.

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EyesOpen's avatar

I encourage any dad who is inspired by this piece to craft a version for boys. Then feel free to link it to this one for girls.

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Lisa's avatar

Excellent!!

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Teresa Maupin's avatar

"You were born in the right body. Learn to be friends with your body." All 10 declarations are profound, but I especially liked this one. Through the centuries, most adolescents have found their developing body somewhat alienating and mysterious. Because of this, many societies conducted celebratory ceremonies honoring this transition. Now the "smartest" century is pathologizing this normal process. Disgusting.

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GenCrit in N. California's avatar

Also, if that is what #1 says, I would edit #1 to say "born *with* the right body." "Born in" is trans-speak that reflects their disassociation from their own body, and is used to encourage others to also disassociate and detach from their own body, by thinking of who they are as somehow separate from their body. If that makes sense. :)

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GenCrit in N. California's avatar

Yes. All to affirm the fetishists of some very self-serving men, and to enrich big investors surgeons, Big Pharma, and to save struggling hospitals' bottom lines. But I'm sure you already know this :)

I can't wait til we win.

Pieces like this will help, by waking up kids to this, therefore reducing the consumer supply for it.

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Notorious P.A.T.'s avatar

This is a good list. Though I don't see why it would only apply to girls. Boys need it, too.

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EyesOpen's avatar

Of course, but as a woman with a daughter, I only felt qualified to write about girls.

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AW's avatar

I understand. Such beautiful words for your daughter.

Sincerely, No disrespect intended. This does make me want to think of some for boys though.

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nedweenie's avatar

Nice job. I'd add something like: Every life form on the planet has defined boundaries and drives to further their species. Humans are not exempt from this. Recognizing, accepting, and managing your limits and drives is the beginning of wisdom. That will enable you to find your place in the world, meaning in your life, and inner peace.

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Kathy's avatar

I love this so much. I would love to send this to my daughter, but I know that she would consider it hostile. :(

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EyesOpen's avatar

Maybe someday she can hear it. I can't send it to my daughter either, so I wrote it for other girls who might be able to take it in.

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GenCrit in N. California's avatar

I wish she could know what you wrote, that she might more fully appreciate what a wise, caring, loving mother she has, who only has her best at heart. I hope she is able to have a change of mind and heart, and soon.

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Gregory's avatar

Excellent... IV this into every child and young adult

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GenCrit in N. California's avatar

Lol, IV. Great if we could!

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Helene's avatar

Love it💝

Thanks!

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Suzette Cullen's avatar

Beautifully spoken. And true.

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Lisa Ann Thomson's avatar

Absolutely beautiful. Perfectly said!!

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Greg's avatar

Another dad here. Agree these are all beautifully written and all still apply. I would add this for boys:

- You may reject masculinity because of the abuses of male privilege. Do not use your male privilege to claim something you were not given and can never earn. Be an ally to women, not an intruder.

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Un-silent's avatar

I disagree with that one. "Abuses of male privilege" sounds like in incrimination of being born male. Why not "be proud of who you were made to be, being male is a wonderful thing". Also, "do not use your male privilege to claim something you were not given and can never earn", sounds like they should never get any positive appreciation for being born male. Being male doesn't make a man an "intruder" of women, it makes him a compliment to a woman. Of course he should appreciate and respect women, but an "ally" sounds like he is less important and is some kind of support staff or cheerleader. We are all wonderfully and beautifully made and young people should learn to love who they are and who they will be.

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Greg's avatar
Feb 1Edited

I agree with you that there is no incrimination in being born male, that owning and defining masculinity is where we want these boys to go. What I wrote was in response to my own son's repeating back to me his adopted mindset of pathologizing masculinity. He specifically called out "the abuses of male privilege" as a driver of his need to transition. In that moment, I wish I'd have had the patience to articulate a response as thoughtful and nuanced as yours, but I focused on what I perceived to be him exercising the kind of privilege he was opposing, and I attempted using the same language he was using. He is not an oppressed minority. He is idealistic but immature, and blind to the many privileges and advantages he has benefit from his entire life.

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GenCrit in N. California's avatar

Un-silent. I like your wording as is. I dont think it demeans any male for simply being born male. There's nothing inherently wrong with being born male. The problems, challenges, and opportunities are socially created, and changed, one caring and concerned boy or man--paying atention-- at a time.

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GenCrit in N. California's avatar

Oops, I meant to direct my comment to Greg, whose comment I agree with.

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Un-silent's avatar

So you disagree with my comment? I'm confused.

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EyesOpen's avatar

I like that.

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Jess Grant's avatar

10. Do not turn your back on your family. Treat your heritage with respect, and be curious about the stories that your parents and grandparents tell. Let your ancestors be proud of you.

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