“Are you a person of faith?”, she asked? - “Stick to it, you will need it.”
Oh boy, was she prophetic!
(I don’t know if I have faith anymore, I’m a self pitying mess at the moment).
- WOW! I get it I’m not super religious, more of a higher power of goodness not affiliated with a church. But I can tell you I’ve seen signs I’m not alone during this trans hell journey and it has carried me to keep pushing and trying to save my child.
When life gets too hard to stand kneel.
Remember the double life she lives that you hold and keep the life of truth for her to return too, be very proud of that, not ashamed.
The fakeness you feel is the evil. Show up and be yourself and not fake in any way to keep that relationship of true love. It’s still there, don’t let go of that she needs you and none of this is her fault. None of this is our fault.
All the American dream crashed out, doesn't it? You moved from a propaganda mode country to another propaganda mode country, but you didn't know. Still not your fault, most Americans aren't aware of how they are manipulated, in such an ironic way many woke up with the pandemic and how powers through Media can make you do ridiculous things as stand 6 ft apart so "you don't get the virus", or how showing videos of nurses dancing in the hospital somewhat make it everything right while people died alone without seen their relatives. The lies that we consumed everyday and your story is mine but I was lucky that I am being here for long and my kids are much older and married, but I will fight back for my grandchildren, I am preparing myself and try to learn the most to see the "signs", I advice everyone to do the same. What I had learned here through all the testimonies is incalculable, I am so thankful. One of those things is act to the first sign, never think is a just a phase, second removed the child from the surroundings and don't trust technology either screen, media or entertainment. The Amish right now are the ones safer. Maybe you are very strict but you cannot fight this because this "trans thing" is just one part of an agenda and it is evil in nature and I hope you don't lose the Faith because this has nothing to do with God, He gave us free will and He cant trump on it, that would be hypocritical. God is consistent with his laws. But He will hold you up if you let Him and he will help you with your cross. This is man doing and keep God outside of this, of course men had forgotten who the real enemy is so we cannot fight an enemy that we don't know that exists. Be courageous, you are if you are Russian so keep it together and continue praying more intensely for your daughter, never cease to pray for her (specially the Rosary because Mother is very powerful), if not the devil will have two wins if you lose the faith.
Thanks for sharing!! By the way, Carroll was a well known pederast and Alice is full of that symbology.
"The Amish right now are the ones safer." Adri, I've always thought that the only surefire cure for this madness is to move to Wyoming and have your child work on a horse ranch. But you're right, there are other places and peoples. By the way, I don't see this evil making headway in Orthodox Christian communities, either.
This is a gorgeous essay that absolutely captures the pain + numbness this ideology inflicts on parents, family. I'm just so sorry and infuriated about all of it.
If you'd like some insight into why/how this happened.
I stopped calling myself "progressive" years ago—around the same time this started happening in your family: 2016. "Progressive" used to mean policies that use a stick instead of a carrot to ensure material security for workers/middle class. Now the word actually subverts that agenda b/c wealthy, powerful ppl replaced the old prog agenda with identity politics. "Identity politics," includes "gender ideology," and the "climate agenda" which undermine actual progressive work for peace and material security which are both offensive to the donor class.
If you don't know who The Donor Class is, they're the foundations that are named before and after everything you hear on NPR. It's the wealthiest and most powerful ppl in the US.
I've had an insider view of how much of this came about (2011-current). Ideologies taught in schools came straight from these funders. They've overthrown the left thru leveraged buy-out.
These ideologies have programmatically replaced any support that had been in place for vulnerable kids: gifted, autist, artistic, introverted and advanced/talented kids of all stripes used to be protected from predation. Now they're TARGETED and offered up to these entities like some sort of ritual sacrifice.
The only ethical action for the "left" that had formerly associated itself with the word "progressive," is to fight back against Ideologies Of Identity. All of them.
I haven't had an insider view, but I find your comments very interesting. I identified as a progressive up until around 10 years ago...the very same time you stopped. For awhile I considered the neoliberal Left as "pseudo-progressive", wishing to remain loyal to the progressive cause whereas it had so obviously not. It wasn't too long before I bailed on any identification with the Left, however. I now believe it wasn't so much that the inmates had "run away with the flag and colors", but that after several decades I finally woke up to the true nature and intentions of the Left. YMMV.
It’s really beyond coincidence that our stories are all so similar from how & when to the words used. It’s not coincidence. Sometimes I tell myself I must be absolutely insane to be such a conspiracy theorist. At this point I am not beyond thinking the pandemic was just a cover up to get at our kids. The whole thing was structured to either kill us old folks or destroy as many of us thru stress & sterilize our kids.
yes, but why? because they had been terrified, just like us nurses, that the contagious nature of COVID was going to kill everyone!! I don't blame them, we were totally freaked out, many of us working in COVID ICUs wouldn't even go home, we were staying in hotels! I was using my garage as a decon station before I went inside after work bc I was so scared I was going to kill my kid with asthma! The SOBs really did a number on us with the BS & lies!
What terrified me was the schools being closed. I used to go for a walk every day and pass the elementary school and adjacent park. Normally there would be a hundred kids playing outside, but when lockdown happened it was dead quiet. No cars in the school parking lot, no people around. I thought i was the last person on earth
I don't think I'm going out on a limb when I assert that your daughter's favorite teacher knew exactly what he was doing. Of course he thought it was a big deal. The pressure on teachers to "affirm" students' trans identity is intense. He didn't want to lose his job, which would have been at risk.
Virtue signaling goes a long way in the conformist, ideologically captured, academic environment. Teachers have a moral obligation to support their students in expressing their true gender. Chalk up those Brownie points!
What a beautifully written and utterly terrifying essay. We managed to win our son back from the cult, but I shudder because of all the similarities. Interestingly, that as a child growing up in the USSR I was so oblivious to propaganda--I loved that song and it never occurred to me that I wasn't a child of the workers, but, likely, the enemy. Yet I feel children nowadays take the propaganda much more seriously, they internalise it deeper, they are being agitated to act on their self-hatred with self-harm. Maybe because in the USSR the "wrapper" on all the propaganda was that we were supposed to be strong, resilient, capable and eager for the bright future. Yet here children are being taught to be mentally ill victims dwelling in the world of no future or hope. I believe that the foundation that your daughter has is the most important. Your relationship with her is strong, her father still doesn't know--this is all very positive, very encouraging. Even Thomas Sowell was a socialist in college. There is hope. Derzhites'!! Pishite DM, esli zahotite. <3
As another immigrant from the USSR (how many of us ARE here?), I think that propaganda here is even more conniving. In the USSR propaganda was completely official. While few brave souls dared to resist it openly, it was somewhat embarrassing to be too obsequious and pro-party. Here propaganda wraps itself in a 'rebel' /'anti-establishment' form, so attractive to young people. Of course, it's anything but.
Absolutely gutting. I💔 I don’t have anything to offer other than telling you that I hear and am witnessing your pain and helplessness and I’m so very sorry.
Beautiful, poignant essay. I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. It sounds like your daughter is not currently medicalizing. That's great and it does give reason to be hopeful. Perhaps deep inside she knows you are right. I hope she wakes up and leaves ideology soon. Hugs. And as Paranoid Mother says - Derzhites and feel free to DM (I am also from the former USSR).
Thank you for your courage in writing this. What you described resonates deeply with so many families who are quietly suffering. This did not happen by accident, and it did not happen in a vacuum. The timing, the messaging, the schools, social media, online communities, and the isolation during COVID all aligned in a way that left children uniquely vulnerable while parents were distracted, exhausted, and often deliberately kept out of the conversation.
And yet, as parents, we almost always turn the responsibility inward. Even when we know this wasn’t a fluke, even when we know this isn’t normal, we still grieve and ask ourselves the same painful questions: Why did we let this happen? What did we miss? Why didn’t we stop it? That burden of guilt is something parents instinctively absorb, even when forces far larger than our families were at play.
Those questions may stay with us until, by God’s grace, we see our children come out of this confusion. Until then, it is normal to grieve, to question, and to hurt. Please know you are not alone. Many of us see the same patterns, carry the same pain, and continue to pray for clarity, healing, and restoration. Your honesty gives voice to a suffering that too many parents are still afraid to name.
“It doesn’t kill hope immediately; it plays with it for a while, suffocates it almost to the point of death, leaves it breathless, then resuscitates it for a few moments, lets it linger, and the cycle goes on and on.”
Every day. Every single day. The moment of giddy joy when I hug her and she doesn’t seem to be wearing that binder. Does it mean she’s finally snapping out of it? And then the crushing defeat when she comes home with a Starbucks cup labeled her male name.
I’m so tired of living on the rollercoaster. It’s been 10 years. 10 years of my previous short life lived in the wasteland of this ideology.
Yes, a "wasteland" My son is wasting his life on a pathetic fantasy. My efforts raising him feel wasted. Despite having gratitude for remaining blessings, there is no way to sidestep my precious life energy wastefully drained from the pain and helplessness of a heinous ideology infecting our children.
Gut-wrenching, and so beautifully written. My heart goes out to you, with my prayers that your daughter may return to the truth of who God made her.....💔💔
Wow. I appreciate your offering voice to the emotional torture and depletion of my hope -- it has withered while my almost 24 year old son has withered since he plunged at 19 into the trans abyss.
As my son "traded in his wholeness," he and this heinous ideology has stolen the wholeness of myself and my family.
As for your last line: "It's name is Trans." It's name is also "evil."
You have written poetically about the horror:
"It collects mothers’ tears, gulps vitality, and steals fathers’ sleep and dignity. It turns them into some unfathomable currency called euphoria. A child in pain trades her wholeness for it.
It doesn’t kill hope immediately; it plays with it for a while, suffocates it almost to the point of death, leaves it breathless, then resuscitates it for a few moments, lets it linger, and the cycle goes on and on. Eventually, something dies out. Myocarditis of the soul?"
“Are you a person of faith?”, she asked? - “Stick to it, you will need it.”
Oh boy, was she prophetic!
(I don’t know if I have faith anymore, I’m a self pitying mess at the moment).
- WOW! I get it I’m not super religious, more of a higher power of goodness not affiliated with a church. But I can tell you I’ve seen signs I’m not alone during this trans hell journey and it has carried me to keep pushing and trying to save my child.
When life gets too hard to stand kneel.
Remember the double life she lives that you hold and keep the life of truth for her to return too, be very proud of that, not ashamed.
The fakeness you feel is the evil. Show up and be yourself and not fake in any way to keep that relationship of true love. It’s still there, don’t let go of that she needs you and none of this is her fault. None of this is our fault.
All the American dream crashed out, doesn't it? You moved from a propaganda mode country to another propaganda mode country, but you didn't know. Still not your fault, most Americans aren't aware of how they are manipulated, in such an ironic way many woke up with the pandemic and how powers through Media can make you do ridiculous things as stand 6 ft apart so "you don't get the virus", or how showing videos of nurses dancing in the hospital somewhat make it everything right while people died alone without seen their relatives. The lies that we consumed everyday and your story is mine but I was lucky that I am being here for long and my kids are much older and married, but I will fight back for my grandchildren, I am preparing myself and try to learn the most to see the "signs", I advice everyone to do the same. What I had learned here through all the testimonies is incalculable, I am so thankful. One of those things is act to the first sign, never think is a just a phase, second removed the child from the surroundings and don't trust technology either screen, media or entertainment. The Amish right now are the ones safer. Maybe you are very strict but you cannot fight this because this "trans thing" is just one part of an agenda and it is evil in nature and I hope you don't lose the Faith because this has nothing to do with God, He gave us free will and He cant trump on it, that would be hypocritical. God is consistent with his laws. But He will hold you up if you let Him and he will help you with your cross. This is man doing and keep God outside of this, of course men had forgotten who the real enemy is so we cannot fight an enemy that we don't know that exists. Be courageous, you are if you are Russian so keep it together and continue praying more intensely for your daughter, never cease to pray for her (specially the Rosary because Mother is very powerful), if not the devil will have two wins if you lose the faith.
Thanks for sharing!! By the way, Carroll was a well known pederast and Alice is full of that symbology.
"The Amish right now are the ones safer." Adri, I've always thought that the only surefire cure for this madness is to move to Wyoming and have your child work on a horse ranch. But you're right, there are other places and peoples. By the way, I don't see this evil making headway in Orthodox Christian communities, either.
I’m so sorry for the pain you have suffered and are still suffering. You’ve written about it beautifully. My heart aches for you💕 You are not alone.
This is a gorgeous essay that absolutely captures the pain + numbness this ideology inflicts on parents, family. I'm just so sorry and infuriated about all of it.
If you'd like some insight into why/how this happened.
I stopped calling myself "progressive" years ago—around the same time this started happening in your family: 2016. "Progressive" used to mean policies that use a stick instead of a carrot to ensure material security for workers/middle class. Now the word actually subverts that agenda b/c wealthy, powerful ppl replaced the old prog agenda with identity politics. "Identity politics," includes "gender ideology," and the "climate agenda" which undermine actual progressive work for peace and material security which are both offensive to the donor class.
If you don't know who The Donor Class is, they're the foundations that are named before and after everything you hear on NPR. It's the wealthiest and most powerful ppl in the US.
I've had an insider view of how much of this came about (2011-current). Ideologies taught in schools came straight from these funders. They've overthrown the left thru leveraged buy-out.
These ideologies have programmatically replaced any support that had been in place for vulnerable kids: gifted, autist, artistic, introverted and advanced/talented kids of all stripes used to be protected from predation. Now they're TARGETED and offered up to these entities like some sort of ritual sacrifice.
The only ethical action for the "left" that had formerly associated itself with the word "progressive," is to fight back against Ideologies Of Identity. All of them.
I haven't had an insider view, but I find your comments very interesting. I identified as a progressive up until around 10 years ago...the very same time you stopped. For awhile I considered the neoliberal Left as "pseudo-progressive", wishing to remain loyal to the progressive cause whereas it had so obviously not. It wasn't too long before I bailed on any identification with the Left, however. I now believe it wasn't so much that the inmates had "run away with the flag and colors", but that after several decades I finally woke up to the true nature and intentions of the Left. YMMV.
It’s really beyond coincidence that our stories are all so similar from how & when to the words used. It’s not coincidence. Sometimes I tell myself I must be absolutely insane to be such a conspiracy theorist. At this point I am not beyond thinking the pandemic was just a cover up to get at our kids. The whole thing was structured to either kill us old folks or destroy as many of us thru stress & sterilize our kids.
Transhumanism
The teachers unions had a major role in keeping schools closed and extending the lockdown.
yes, but why? because they had been terrified, just like us nurses, that the contagious nature of COVID was going to kill everyone!! I don't blame them, we were totally freaked out, many of us working in COVID ICUs wouldn't even go home, we were staying in hotels! I was using my garage as a decon station before I went inside after work bc I was so scared I was going to kill my kid with asthma! The SOBs really did a number on us with the BS & lies!
What terrified me was the schools being closed. I used to go for a walk every day and pass the elementary school and adjacent park. Normally there would be a hundred kids playing outside, but when lockdown happened it was dead quiet. No cars in the school parking lot, no people around. I thought i was the last person on earth
I don't think I'm going out on a limb when I assert that your daughter's favorite teacher knew exactly what he was doing. Of course he thought it was a big deal. The pressure on teachers to "affirm" students' trans identity is intense. He didn't want to lose his job, which would have been at risk.
Virtue signaling goes a long way in the conformist, ideologically captured, academic environment. Teachers have a moral obligation to support their students in expressing their true gender. Chalk up those Brownie points!
What a beautifully written and utterly terrifying essay. We managed to win our son back from the cult, but I shudder because of all the similarities. Interestingly, that as a child growing up in the USSR I was so oblivious to propaganda--I loved that song and it never occurred to me that I wasn't a child of the workers, but, likely, the enemy. Yet I feel children nowadays take the propaganda much more seriously, they internalise it deeper, they are being agitated to act on their self-hatred with self-harm. Maybe because in the USSR the "wrapper" on all the propaganda was that we were supposed to be strong, resilient, capable and eager for the bright future. Yet here children are being taught to be mentally ill victims dwelling in the world of no future or hope. I believe that the foundation that your daughter has is the most important. Your relationship with her is strong, her father still doesn't know--this is all very positive, very encouraging. Even Thomas Sowell was a socialist in college. There is hope. Derzhites'!! Pishite DM, esli zahotite. <3
As another immigrant from the USSR (how many of us ARE here?), I think that propaganda here is even more conniving. In the USSR propaganda was completely official. While few brave souls dared to resist it openly, it was somewhat embarrassing to be too obsequious and pro-party. Here propaganda wraps itself in a 'rebel' /'anti-establishment' form, so attractive to young people. Of course, it's anything but.
Good point.
Absolutely gutting. I💔 I don’t have anything to offer other than telling you that I hear and am witnessing your pain and helplessness and I’m so very sorry.
What a poignant essay.
I hope your daughter doesn't medicalize.
I hope she sees the emptiness behind the trans label.
Beautiful, poignant essay. I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. It sounds like your daughter is not currently medicalizing. That's great and it does give reason to be hopeful. Perhaps deep inside she knows you are right. I hope she wakes up and leaves ideology soon. Hugs. And as Paranoid Mother says - Derzhites and feel free to DM (I am also from the former USSR).
Thank you for your courage in writing this. What you described resonates deeply with so many families who are quietly suffering. This did not happen by accident, and it did not happen in a vacuum. The timing, the messaging, the schools, social media, online communities, and the isolation during COVID all aligned in a way that left children uniquely vulnerable while parents were distracted, exhausted, and often deliberately kept out of the conversation.
And yet, as parents, we almost always turn the responsibility inward. Even when we know this wasn’t a fluke, even when we know this isn’t normal, we still grieve and ask ourselves the same painful questions: Why did we let this happen? What did we miss? Why didn’t we stop it? That burden of guilt is something parents instinctively absorb, even when forces far larger than our families were at play.
Those questions may stay with us until, by God’s grace, we see our children come out of this confusion. Until then, it is normal to grieve, to question, and to hurt. Please know you are not alone. Many of us see the same patterns, carry the same pain, and continue to pray for clarity, healing, and restoration. Your honesty gives voice to a suffering that too many parents are still afraid to name.
This last paragraph:
“It doesn’t kill hope immediately; it plays with it for a while, suffocates it almost to the point of death, leaves it breathless, then resuscitates it for a few moments, lets it linger, and the cycle goes on and on.”
Every day. Every single day. The moment of giddy joy when I hug her and she doesn’t seem to be wearing that binder. Does it mean she’s finally snapping out of it? And then the crushing defeat when she comes home with a Starbucks cup labeled her male name.
I’m so tired of living on the rollercoaster. It’s been 10 years. 10 years of my previous short life lived in the wasteland of this ideology.
Yes, a "wasteland" My son is wasting his life on a pathetic fantasy. My efforts raising him feel wasted. Despite having gratitude for remaining blessings, there is no way to sidestep my precious life energy wastefully drained from the pain and helplessness of a heinous ideology infecting our children.
Hi Distressed Parent,
I have often wondered this...if parents to a "trans" identified child feel "efforts wasted". All that time and money, etc.
Gut-wrenching, and so beautifully written. My heart goes out to you, with my prayers that your daughter may return to the truth of who God made her.....💔💔
Heavy yet marvelously written! This evil has no limits in whom it will capture. So we join hands and hearts in prayer for the captives to be set free.
You articulated "trans" well.
Wow. I appreciate your offering voice to the emotional torture and depletion of my hope -- it has withered while my almost 24 year old son has withered since he plunged at 19 into the trans abyss.
As my son "traded in his wholeness," he and this heinous ideology has stolen the wholeness of myself and my family.
As for your last line: "It's name is Trans." It's name is also "evil."
You have written poetically about the horror:
"It collects mothers’ tears, gulps vitality, and steals fathers’ sleep and dignity. It turns them into some unfathomable currency called euphoria. A child in pain trades her wholeness for it.
It doesn’t kill hope immediately; it plays with it for a while, suffocates it almost to the point of death, leaves it breathless, then resuscitates it for a few moments, lets it linger, and the cycle goes on and on. Eventually, something dies out. Myocarditis of the soul?"