There's hope, because you and your daughter are communicating with each other. She hasn't cut you off, as so often happens. This is huge. Soffie's in her early 20s. Her pre-frontal cortex is still in the process of maturing. She'll acquire much self-awareness prior to her 30th birthday that will change her perspective on everything. Look…
There's hope, because you and your daughter are communicating with each other. She hasn't cut you off, as so often happens. This is huge. Soffie's in her early 20s. Her pre-frontal cortex is still in the process of maturing. She'll acquire much self-awareness prior to her 30th birthday that will change her perspective on everything. Looking back, I see how much more clear-headed I was at 30 than at 23. She doesn't know about this. But you do. Waiting is of the essence, and Soffie needs time.
Her discomfort with her physical self is not unusual, especially if she's dealing with issues related to sexuality. Unfortunately, grooming comes into play here: the trans community pushes the narrative that women's lives are awful and it's better -- more powerful, credible, courageous -- to be a man than a masculine woman. That's a terrible reason to transition but it carries a lot of weight. However, your credibiilty as a medical professional also carries a lot of weight, and it's not based on ideological jargon, but on real-world scientific knowledge and experience. Right now she may believe that she needs to transition ASAP. But if you can suggest to her that she wait, it might give her some comfort and breathing room. And, of course, in the interim, her brain will be moving in the direction of maturity, logic and self-awareness.
Maybe you've seen the new documentary, "Affirmation Generation"? It would be wonderful if she'd agree to watch it with you. I have no doubt that she would see herself in the three young women who share their stories. It's a masterful film.
In the privacy of Soffie's mind, good information will counteract the propaganda that she's undoubtedly exposed to. As she matures, the truth about trans will percolate and becomes part of the knowledge base she will use to realize that she is perfect just the way she is. At least, this is my hope for her. And for you.
There's hope, because you and your daughter are communicating with each other. She hasn't cut you off, as so often happens. This is huge. Soffie's in her early 20s. Her pre-frontal cortex is still in the process of maturing. She'll acquire much self-awareness prior to her 30th birthday that will change her perspective on everything. Looking back, I see how much more clear-headed I was at 30 than at 23. She doesn't know about this. But you do. Waiting is of the essence, and Soffie needs time.
Her discomfort with her physical self is not unusual, especially if she's dealing with issues related to sexuality. Unfortunately, grooming comes into play here: the trans community pushes the narrative that women's lives are awful and it's better -- more powerful, credible, courageous -- to be a man than a masculine woman. That's a terrible reason to transition but it carries a lot of weight. However, your credibiilty as a medical professional also carries a lot of weight, and it's not based on ideological jargon, but on real-world scientific knowledge and experience. Right now she may believe that she needs to transition ASAP. But if you can suggest to her that she wait, it might give her some comfort and breathing room. And, of course, in the interim, her brain will be moving in the direction of maturity, logic and self-awareness.
Maybe you've seen the new documentary, "Affirmation Generation"? It would be wonderful if she'd agree to watch it with you. I have no doubt that she would see herself in the three young women who share their stories. It's a masterful film.
In the privacy of Soffie's mind, good information will counteract the propaganda that she's undoubtedly exposed to. As she matures, the truth about trans will percolate and becomes part of the knowledge base she will use to realize that she is perfect just the way she is. At least, this is my hope for her. And for you.
Good luck, Soffie's mom.