It's great that she is talking to you! Interesting that she picked such a "weak" word as "comfortable" to explain her reasons for wanting to transition. Comfort is a relatively low importance goal, isn't it? Most people don't undergo invasive (highly uncomfortable) medical procedures to feel more comfortable. Do you think you could gentl…
It's great that she is talking to you! Interesting that she picked such a "weak" word as "comfortable" to explain her reasons for wanting to transition. Comfort is a relatively low importance goal, isn't it? Most people don't undergo invasive (highly uncomfortable) medical procedures to feel more comfortable. Do you think you could gently ask her what are the things that she values higher than being comfortable? Would transition help or hinder achieving them?
I’m trying to compile a list of things I’d like to ask & to figure out the best way to go about it.
I sent her many things to read and watch. She & I wrote emails back and forth. She asked me to please stop sending her things “about the plague that’s killing her daughter.”I agreed. Then after some time of complying with her request. I sent her “Affirmation Generation “ stating I knew I made a promise but felt so much that it was an exception- I would refuse future/further conversions unless she watched it in its entirety. So she claimed she did, in its entirety, but still plans to proceed with her transition.
The day she came out to us, I told her I knew it was selfish, but asked her to wait until I completed school to take any action. She thanked me for admitting it was selfish & agreed.
I recently discussed & sent her the article on “The Two Spirit people of indigenous North Americans” asking if she thought about embracing a gift rather than altering her appearance & that’s when she used the term “more comfortable.” My daughter is a beautiful person inside and out. We’ve had a great relationship throughout the years. I often told her I admired her talents & calm nature and wished I shared more of those qualities.
When I saw she was struggling a bit with fitting in I rearranged my schedules to take her & friends to concerts in different locations. I sat through many horse shows and practices to instill she was never alone, unless she wanted to be.
I know I’m rambling, but that’s why this is so difficult to accept. All those road trips, late rides home after practicing. She never said a word or even eluded to it.
I’m not one of those parents who sees no wrong in their child. I’ve called my kids out on plenty; like not being patient with a friend, or making sure they didn’t just include someone for their own benefit, making sure they returned a favor when a friend needed them, etc.🤷🏻♀️
It's great that she is talking to you! Interesting that she picked such a "weak" word as "comfortable" to explain her reasons for wanting to transition. Comfort is a relatively low importance goal, isn't it? Most people don't undergo invasive (highly uncomfortable) medical procedures to feel more comfortable. Do you think you could gently ask her what are the things that she values higher than being comfortable? Would transition help or hinder achieving them?
I’m trying to compile a list of things I’d like to ask & to figure out the best way to go about it.
I sent her many things to read and watch. She & I wrote emails back and forth. She asked me to please stop sending her things “about the plague that’s killing her daughter.”I agreed. Then after some time of complying with her request. I sent her “Affirmation Generation “ stating I knew I made a promise but felt so much that it was an exception- I would refuse future/further conversions unless she watched it in its entirety. So she claimed she did, in its entirety, but still plans to proceed with her transition.
The day she came out to us, I told her I knew it was selfish, but asked her to wait until I completed school to take any action. She thanked me for admitting it was selfish & agreed.
I recently discussed & sent her the article on “The Two Spirit people of indigenous North Americans” asking if she thought about embracing a gift rather than altering her appearance & that’s when she used the term “more comfortable.” My daughter is a beautiful person inside and out. We’ve had a great relationship throughout the years. I often told her I admired her talents & calm nature and wished I shared more of those qualities.
When I saw she was struggling a bit with fitting in I rearranged my schedules to take her & friends to concerts in different locations. I sat through many horse shows and practices to instill she was never alone, unless she wanted to be.
I know I’m rambling, but that’s why this is so difficult to accept. All those road trips, late rides home after practicing. She never said a word or even eluded to it.
I’m not one of those parents who sees no wrong in their child. I’ve called my kids out on plenty; like not being patient with a friend, or making sure they didn’t just include someone for their own benefit, making sure they returned a favor when a friend needed them, etc.🤷🏻♀️
She sounds like a wonderful young woman and you sound like a great mom. I hope she comes to her senses soon.
Thank you for that. But I question my parenting repeatedly over this.
Me too, I always question myself as a parent. Maybe it's not a bad thing?