Are you feeling unhappy, down, depressed, not yourself? Filled with anxiety? Bothered by a hangnail? Join the Church of Trans! We accept all applicants from ages 3 to 83. We accept former Olympians, mediocre male athletes, people with ADHD, autism, eating orders, bi-polar disorder, really anything at all! Off-label drugs and surgeries will make you look somewhat like the opposite sex. That fixes everything! The chromosome count in the trillions of cells in your body are all wrong - you’re in charge! Everyone is better as the opposite sex. Or be really edgy and be nonbinary - hey you’re neither sex!
When you join the Church of Trans you can make a big announcement, tell your family, friends, and won’t they be surprised and happy for you! And if you see one of your parents sobbing, those are tears of joy! We have support groups, chat rooms, medical experts all ready to help you with your gender journey.
Kids - think you might be gay or lesbian? Being a gay kid is so 1990’s. You’re trans! Feeling lonely? You’re trans! Low self-esteem? You’re trans! Are you a young kid really bothered by hair barrettes? You’re trans, too! Our support groups will advise you on what to tell doctors so they’ll refer you to a local chop shop for mind/body-altering drugs and surgeries after just one appointment. Doctors just love playing God and surgeries and body-altering drugs as treatments for psychiatric conditions are so profitable! Doctors are still bummed the whole lobotomy thing didn’t work out. Trans-ideology “owns” the leading medical organizations in the U.S. (AMA, AAP, etc.), and just about every HR department as well.
Heck, even formerly reputable institutions like Planned Parenthood and Nature magazine are in our pocket and pushing our agenda! Worried about side effects, early onset dementia, sterility, mutilating your body or dozens of other permanent side effects? Remember - you must believe - your health isn’t important.
Do you live in the U.K.? What’s up with Hilary Cass, saying that evidence for the effectiveness of body mods in minors is “weak”. And all those states in the U.S. banning “gender affirming care” for minors? We’ve got liberal dems fooled into thinking this is a civil rights issue - hah! Everyone has the right to self-harm. Just scream “diversity” and find a state where treatment is legal, and you too can join the Church of Trans.
Legal note: There is no evidence that treatments are effective; not responsible for sterility, permanent mutilations or suicide.
If a 10 year old wants to smoke crack cocaine to make himself feel like Superman that is bad because it is detrimental to his health. If a 10 year old wants to take hormone treatments to make zirself feel like a woman that is good and you shouldn't ask if it is detrimental to zirs health you dirty rotten bigot!
Someone should read this in a classic 1980s TV ad voice. "But wait! THERE'S MORE!"