Conversation with an old friend
A friend I have known for a very, very long time recently came for a visit. We reconnected about a year ago after having had lost touch for many years. She lives in California, and is a very loud, adamant liberal activist. I refuse to friend her on Facebook because of the nasty posts and her treatment of others who disagree with her politics. When we reconnected, she told me how great it was except for her disappointment that I was not a Democrat.
Our first conversation in years was seven hours long with no breaks. I told her about my adult son transitioning at age 40. I knew it would be a touchy conversation. I told a bit about the distress it caused us because we believed it to be a mental disorder. After she offered to serve as the go-between with our son in order for us to "repair" the relationship, I quickly changed the topic. That was not happening.
So a few months later, she calls and asks how our "daughters" are. My response "our kids are fine". (We also have a daughter). I do not understand the blatant disregard of our entire conversation and my feeling about the issue, especially the mental health component.
Fast forward to last week. She is up visiting again. Again, she asks how our “daughters" are doing. I almost blew a gasket. I responded that she will never understand our pain unless it happens to her (but she has no kids). I told her how ugly and nasty our son turned after taking cross-sex hormones, how he now hates everything we stand for and value. And how he blasts it on social media and has become a huge trans activist. It is the polar opposite of what he was growing up and into young adulthood. He was kind, polite and always a sweetheart. It's scary how much he has changed.
I also pointed out to her that I have a trans friend whom I adore, but didn’t know before they transitioned so it's easier for me to use the requested pronouns and not dwell on their biological reality. And they are not my child! And they are not an activist. They are just living their life.
I think it finally hit my friend that maybe she should consider what trans ideology is doing to families and the harm it is causing to the people under it’s the spell. I don't like the person my son has become and we no longer have a relationship. His choice.
Absolutely no one can understand or has the right to question a parent who has and is going through this. The hurt is immense, and we are grieving for the loss of a child in so many ways.
It is heartbreaking, devastating and past time for those who support this to face the truth. This includes the medical establishment which is complicit in mutilating these people and destroying their lives with harmful medications. It has to stop.
Thank you for sharing your story. I know many families can relate to your story such as myself. You bring up a very important part of this trans experience which is how cross sex hormones affect mental & emotional health. A Seattle Kaiser Gender Clinic gave my ROGD 19 year old daughter the highest injectable dose of testosterone after one 30min appointment. By 6 months, her levels were that of a 25 year old man ( this info came from her NP at the clinic). No one talks about the aggressive, violent, and angry behavior that may result. I watched her punch her brother for the first time a verbally lash out at all of us while on a family vacation. Yet, we are all transphobic and nothing but MAGA parents because we found that behavior unexpectable. Unfortunately, we had to put boundaries in place because of this new abusive behavior. This is a new chapter in parent estrangement which many of us are experiencing but not enough are talking about. I resent how everything is the parents fault, yet we are the only ones fighting to save our children.....
I just visited a friend who treated me in a similar way. It seemed like my vote meant more than my friendship until we spent time together. However, I will never agree with any ideology that makes me lie. My liberal friend kept saying she did not understand how I thought and yet she would never take the time to do the research I have done. When it is your child, you are so invested. It’s not just a pronoun game.