When I was a fourteen-year-old boy, I decided I was transgender. This was around 2012 or 2013, when the trans wave was still barely a ripple. My reasons will sound familiar to anyone who’s had experience with this phenomenon: I had undiagnosed autism. I was being sexually harassed in school. I didn’t have any close friends. Most importantly, I spent a lot of time online. That was where I was exposed to transgender ideology for the first time.
Thank you so much for writing this. People who have detransitioned are in a position to help parents and kids who are touched by this phenomenon like nobody else. I appreciate your honesty and bravery.
It is practically the birthright of teenagers to drive their parents nuts. However until now, teens never had the sanction of what we once considered our most trusted institutions. Parents could rely upon them have their backs. We could usually take stock that these children will just get over their latest madness, whether it is about music, fashion, or whatever identity crisis du jour they're experiencing.
Now, their madness is sanctioned — and even celebrated — by the powerful forces of government, academia, and the media, and parents have little chance against that. It takes heroes like comedians of all people to show us the light.
It appears that the true meaning of the term "gender dysphoria" has been altered, like the term "racism." Below I read a comment from a woman claiming to feel dysphoric. While I don't know this person, I would hazard a guess that the dysphoria this person claims to feel is just plain old discomfort, which can even be seen in Disney's "Peter Pan" from decades ago, when Tinkerbell resents her widening hips as she passes into adulthood. I didn't consider myself a tomboy, but when I look at old photos, see that not only was I a tomboy, but I also took longer than other girls to develop. This caused a lot of discomfort. Girls made fun of me for not being like them in ways that I couldn't articulate to myself. Fortunately, I read a lot and had a lot of confidence in my intellectual abilities and distanced myself from the heckling enough to get through it unscathed. And I'm not gay. I'm just a bit more masculine in my presentation. That said, it appears that being "gender non conforming" has morphed into being "trans." An old friend has transitioned his son into a "daughter" -- and another has transitioned his daughter into a "they" and a son. These people are useful idiots. It's amazing to me, actually, how so-called "educated" adults can buy this crap (meanwhile, back in my hometown, the so-called "uneducated" wouldn't entertain this bs for a minute.) I have known bona fide trans people. They were stridently mentally ill. So now we worship the mentally ill, and to get attention, young people are "Trans" -- except they're not -- and that "dysphoria" you claim you have is what we used to call GROWING PAINS.
thank you so much for sharing your testimony. homosexual people refusing... being UNABLE to validate straight people who choose to transition into "being their dating pool" suffer from the tide. we are grateful who dare to speak up, they hate and want to harm us(for not doing what they want us to)
"Some trans people really are severely mentally ill in ways they can’t control." Iron deficiency, low B vitamins, etc. can cause this. So many children and teens are malnourished and it 100% effects mental health.
Thank you for sharing your story. These poor children! I wish I could hug 2012 you. You and I are probably the same age. It's going to get better. Keep going. God opens up wisdom in the mind beyond understanding if you have love and forgiveness in your heart.
I totally understand. The pain of losing my son to this ideology is relentless for my husband and me. How can it not be? This is our precious child. Our pain is filled with rage at the injustice of how this societal mind virus has preyed on my son and our family.
Holidays and my daughters birthday are the worst. I am so angry at all the doctors and therapists and teachers etc. I am a physician myself and know that she is losing her health steadily everyday and I am powerless to help my child. After all she sold herself to this cult
Yes, some days are worse that others. So much around my husband and me reminds us of our son before he dove deep into the abyss of the trans cult. I am a psychologist, and am helpless to prevent my son's mental health deterioation. And I am angry at the therapists who are enabling confused people with affirming the evil nonsense of gender ideology.
Dearest Young Man, thank you for your story. I feel you could be my grandson talking. If he will ever talk about things that matter. The timing of your experiences correlate with his story. You must be around the same chronological age. "Buddy" started talking about being trans while my husband, his grandfather, was dying. We did not know what was happening, and he made a little book with square people and triangular people to help explain how he had always felt different and alone. He had been diagnosed as autistic, had been through the breakup of his parents relationship, and he was taken out of the country by his mother who married a 19 year old pornography addict. He was missing from our lives for 10 years. It was a miracle when they finally returned and we got to see him again. I do not know what he went through during his absence, but there were indications of abuse. Every time I saw Buddy, he was on the internet, and had one friend that I knew of. (A trans person) He wrote poetry that made me cry. (Your writing made me cry) He saw a counselor that helped his half brother and half sister realize they were trans also. (?) By the time of his grandfather's death, he was wearing women's clothing. It seemed he was supported by his mother, and she took care of getting him hormones. As I walked through the blurring of a grief filled life, I even sent him women's clothing for his birthday. May Jesus forgive me, (and I know He does). Things became even more insane, and I am alienated from Buddy's father, my son, as well as my other grandchildren and great grandchildren. Your story melts my heart, and explains so very much. What you endured helps me understand what can happen when a sensitive, hurting and bright young person meets the world presented by people possessed by control and yes, hatred. Hatred of themselves, and of others who think differently than they do. The virulence on social media is astounding. It is said that "misery loves company" and we see this bourn out every day, with the cult mentality, the groomers, the manipulators of truth, and the outright liars. All for what? For some, as with Planned Parenthood and the medical world, it is as crass as the bottom dollar counting more than human beings. For some, it has to be the call of following the herd, and power is in numbers. I am so sorry that you went through this, and continue to have to deal with the results. However, I see in you the hope of the triumph of the human spirit, you have so much to give this world. You are a survivor. With your help, I pray for many survivors in this battle. You are loved, and worthy.
How do parents navigate through this giant field of trans-mines? It seems that no matter what a parent does, there is someone to criticize and poison the mind of their child! Walking on eggshells around a confused male teen, afraid to say the wrong thing: please don't wear make-up outside of the house (then will he do it more?) or say that eye shadow enhances your eyes (is this going to encourage him?) Teenagers like to rebel; they want to show their parents that they are smarter, that they know better - that is normal but being exposed to transgender ideology is harmful and makes the playing field far more dangerous. I appreciate your honesty very much. How could anyone who transitions be truly comfortable, content, and happy? I never have to think about being a female. I cannot imagine how uncomfortable it must be for anyone who transitions; always second guessing, pretending, playing a role as if acting in a play. To anyone who wants to detransition, you have my support and understanding. I will continue to pray, to read, and do research so I am fully armed with the correct information.
there is no road map. and hindsight isn't always everything. be curious, stay connected, find a good family therapist (which is a challenge), and work on the relationship.
Thank you for sharing. And thank you for the acknowledgment of this being an unenviable position. It is a delicate balance of not pushing too hard. But also setting clear boundaries. And sometimes it feels like it is ending. But then they find some other trans kid and they just feed and bolster each other. And the other mom is “so cool” and “so supportive, not like you”. It cuts like a knife. So you just try to stay patient, try to show love. What else can we do?
You are telling me what I want to hear. I just have to be mindful that I'm not falling into confirmation bias. Your article resonates with me and my situation as the parent of a kid who identifies as trans. It matchs up exactly with what I think is going on in my kids head.
"willfully delusional" is the best description I've heard. It's absolutely brilliant, so precise! You should trade mark it :) Thank you so much for sharing! I hope you are well.
Thank you so much for writing this. People who have detransitioned are in a position to help parents and kids who are touched by this phenomenon like nobody else. I appreciate your honesty and bravery.
It is practically the birthright of teenagers to drive their parents nuts. However until now, teens never had the sanction of what we once considered our most trusted institutions. Parents could rely upon them have their backs. We could usually take stock that these children will just get over their latest madness, whether it is about music, fashion, or whatever identity crisis du jour they're experiencing.
Now, their madness is sanctioned — and even celebrated — by the powerful forces of government, academia, and the media, and parents have little chance against that. It takes heroes like comedians of all people to show us the light.
So agree
It appears that the true meaning of the term "gender dysphoria" has been altered, like the term "racism." Below I read a comment from a woman claiming to feel dysphoric. While I don't know this person, I would hazard a guess that the dysphoria this person claims to feel is just plain old discomfort, which can even be seen in Disney's "Peter Pan" from decades ago, when Tinkerbell resents her widening hips as she passes into adulthood. I didn't consider myself a tomboy, but when I look at old photos, see that not only was I a tomboy, but I also took longer than other girls to develop. This caused a lot of discomfort. Girls made fun of me for not being like them in ways that I couldn't articulate to myself. Fortunately, I read a lot and had a lot of confidence in my intellectual abilities and distanced myself from the heckling enough to get through it unscathed. And I'm not gay. I'm just a bit more masculine in my presentation. That said, it appears that being "gender non conforming" has morphed into being "trans." An old friend has transitioned his son into a "daughter" -- and another has transitioned his daughter into a "they" and a son. These people are useful idiots. It's amazing to me, actually, how so-called "educated" adults can buy this crap (meanwhile, back in my hometown, the so-called "uneducated" wouldn't entertain this bs for a minute.) I have known bona fide trans people. They were stridently mentally ill. So now we worship the mentally ill, and to get attention, young people are "Trans" -- except they're not -- and that "dysphoria" you claim you have is what we used to call GROWING PAINS.
thank you
thank you so much for sharing your testimony. homosexual people refusing... being UNABLE to validate straight people who choose to transition into "being their dating pool" suffer from the tide. we are grateful who dare to speak up, they hate and want to harm us(for not doing what they want us to)
"Some trans people really are severely mentally ill in ways they can’t control." Iron deficiency, low B vitamins, etc. can cause this. So many children and teens are malnourished and it 100% effects mental health.
Thank you for sharing your story. These poor children! I wish I could hug 2012 you. You and I are probably the same age. It's going to get better. Keep going. God opens up wisdom in the mind beyond understanding if you have love and forgiveness in your heart.
Thank you for your courage and insight.
But the pain of the loss of my daughter to this ideology just will not subside
I totally understand. The pain of losing my son to this ideology is relentless for my husband and me. How can it not be? This is our precious child. Our pain is filled with rage at the injustice of how this societal mind virus has preyed on my son and our family.
Holidays and my daughters birthday are the worst. I am so angry at all the doctors and therapists and teachers etc. I am a physician myself and know that she is losing her health steadily everyday and I am powerless to help my child. After all she sold herself to this cult
Yes, some days are worse that others. So much around my husband and me reminds us of our son before he dove deep into the abyss of the trans cult. I am a psychologist, and am helpless to prevent my son's mental health deterioation. And I am angry at the therapists who are enabling confused people with affirming the evil nonsense of gender ideology.
Dearest Young Man, thank you for your story. I feel you could be my grandson talking. If he will ever talk about things that matter. The timing of your experiences correlate with his story. You must be around the same chronological age. "Buddy" started talking about being trans while my husband, his grandfather, was dying. We did not know what was happening, and he made a little book with square people and triangular people to help explain how he had always felt different and alone. He had been diagnosed as autistic, had been through the breakup of his parents relationship, and he was taken out of the country by his mother who married a 19 year old pornography addict. He was missing from our lives for 10 years. It was a miracle when they finally returned and we got to see him again. I do not know what he went through during his absence, but there were indications of abuse. Every time I saw Buddy, he was on the internet, and had one friend that I knew of. (A trans person) He wrote poetry that made me cry. (Your writing made me cry) He saw a counselor that helped his half brother and half sister realize they were trans also. (?) By the time of his grandfather's death, he was wearing women's clothing. It seemed he was supported by his mother, and she took care of getting him hormones. As I walked through the blurring of a grief filled life, I even sent him women's clothing for his birthday. May Jesus forgive me, (and I know He does). Things became even more insane, and I am alienated from Buddy's father, my son, as well as my other grandchildren and great grandchildren. Your story melts my heart, and explains so very much. What you endured helps me understand what can happen when a sensitive, hurting and bright young person meets the world presented by people possessed by control and yes, hatred. Hatred of themselves, and of others who think differently than they do. The virulence on social media is astounding. It is said that "misery loves company" and we see this bourn out every day, with the cult mentality, the groomers, the manipulators of truth, and the outright liars. All for what? For some, as with Planned Parenthood and the medical world, it is as crass as the bottom dollar counting more than human beings. For some, it has to be the call of following the herd, and power is in numbers. I am so sorry that you went through this, and continue to have to deal with the results. However, I see in you the hope of the triumph of the human spirit, you have so much to give this world. You are a survivor. With your help, I pray for many survivors in this battle. You are loved, and worthy.
Useful!
Thanks for sharing.
How do parents navigate through this giant field of trans-mines? It seems that no matter what a parent does, there is someone to criticize and poison the mind of their child! Walking on eggshells around a confused male teen, afraid to say the wrong thing: please don't wear make-up outside of the house (then will he do it more?) or say that eye shadow enhances your eyes (is this going to encourage him?) Teenagers like to rebel; they want to show their parents that they are smarter, that they know better - that is normal but being exposed to transgender ideology is harmful and makes the playing field far more dangerous. I appreciate your honesty very much. How could anyone who transitions be truly comfortable, content, and happy? I never have to think about being a female. I cannot imagine how uncomfortable it must be for anyone who transitions; always second guessing, pretending, playing a role as if acting in a play. To anyone who wants to detransition, you have my support and understanding. I will continue to pray, to read, and do research so I am fully armed with the correct information.
Do you have any advice for parents who are trying to guide their children back to reality?
there is no road map. and hindsight isn't always everything. be curious, stay connected, find a good family therapist (which is a challenge), and work on the relationship.
Thank you for sharing. And thank you for the acknowledgment of this being an unenviable position. It is a delicate balance of not pushing too hard. But also setting clear boundaries. And sometimes it feels like it is ending. But then they find some other trans kid and they just feed and bolster each other. And the other mom is “so cool” and “so supportive, not like you”. It cuts like a knife. So you just try to stay patient, try to show love. What else can we do?
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. It will help so many parents to then help their kids.
You are telling me what I want to hear. I just have to be mindful that I'm not falling into confirmation bias. Your article resonates with me and my situation as the parent of a kid who identifies as trans. It matchs up exactly with what I think is going on in my kids head.
be curious, ask questions without judgement. (which is difficult)
"willfully delusional" is the best description I've heard. It's absolutely brilliant, so precise! You should trade mark it :) Thank you so much for sharing! I hope you are well.
I appreciate your candor. Thank you.