Do I Tell my Story?

My religious denomination is voting on whether to add “gender-identity” to a list of “protected characteristics.” I am working to have it voted down. Someone is encouraging me to “tell my story.” I have shared my story here on PITT. It is one of many which form a mosaic illustrating the effects the concept of “trans” has on parents. These essays tell a deep and nuanced tale, with many differences and similarities among the writers and their situations. Many of the parents show great hope and strength, but the mosaic as a whole is tragic, and many of its parts are heartbreaking.

I don’t want to tell my story to the commissioners who will be voting, I want to speak about the victims who suffer more than I do. It is difficult to talk about, but there are women who are being housed in prisons with men who rape them. If they complain, they are threatened with what they fear most, an extension of their time in jail. There have been pregnancies among this population.

When men compete in women’s sports, the girls on college teams are put into a situation which can be is demeaning, unfair or even dangerous. When they complain they have been threatened with the loss of their scholarship. This can mean they do not get their degree and cannot enter their planned career. People who are already established in a career fear that speaking up will cause them to lose their livelihood due to “cancelation,” being fired, or being in a hostile work environment. Some who have spoken up have suffered career loss.

In some places parents can lose custody of their children to the state if they do not allow doctors to give their children drugs or even surgeries that result in irreversible harm. Parents are also forced to lie to their beloved children and agree that they were born the wrong sex, and these procedures will “cure” them. The whole family has to constantly walk on eggshells. This tension has damaged sibling relationships and ruined marriages. Even in places that uphold parental rights, the stress of trying to rescue a minor child from these lies is enormous. Parents must weigh every decision, trying to find the ones that will keep their precious children from going to the gender “doctors” when they turn 18.

The people I cry for the most are the ones who fell for the lie that they could change their sex. The ones who are still being led along the trans path by doctors who say that cross-sex hormones and surgeries will solve their problems. I also cry for the ones who no longer believe the lies but cannot undo the harm done to their bodies.

Both my sons are estranged and I miss them terribly, but these are the stories I want to tell. I want to believe that if the representatives knew of this suffering, they would vote against pushing the concept of “gender-identity.”