This mother is with you. Just be thankful you get to see your son and maybe have influence. I've been totally blocked from my son's life. It's terrifying not knowing anything at all. 😢
I wanted to share an encouraging message I listened to today on the Julie Green Ministries Rumble channel called "God has a plan for you". I will always remember one day when my son was walking down the stairs in our house...he was still in a very bad way...and I said to him with his back turned "God has big plans for you". God has big plans for all our kids. Keep speaking it and if you have the time listen to Julie's message today. Many people today that I talk to seem to be wondering what their purpose is in this life...not just the young people. It's been something I've been pondering for awhile now too...now that I slowed down because I retired. Things have been crazy for a very long time but Covid really changed things. The best really is yet to come! Hang in there....and prayers to all!
Hang in there dad, you are the only voice of truth in your son's life. Shame on all of the other members of your family going along with his self destruction. It may feel like you are living in an alternate universe at times, but stay the course. Prayers for your strength and determination in this journey.
I don’t understand why you don’t accept him as he is. You are forcing your believes onto him. You remind me of my controlling narcissistic husband who would deny my child’s feelings. You are coming with all the answers and want to fix him. You need to meet him where he is at. Just because the hormones are causing him to feel bad doesn’t mean he will be feeling like that when he is transitioned. Can you even start to imagine how much he is hurting to want to go through this? I feel sorry that he has you as a dad and I hope one day you can be curious about him instead of wanting him to be what is convenient for you. You can start by exploring and sharing how you feel about his transition what is so upsetting about it for you instead of needing him to be different.
What are you doing in this group? We've heard all the rhetoric and have done extensive UNBIASED research. How can you as an "accepting" "loving" and supposedly supportive part of this "community" not listen to and in fact bully and ostracize Detransitioners who know the truth and know what the end game is? Not interested in your enabling of this nightmare. Be gone.
I am just asking that people do the work of exploring their feelings rather than controlling others lives. There is so much black and white thinking and a lot of blaming and pointing fingers rather than living in the difficulty of giving your adult child find their way. I came to this Substack out of curiosity as it popped up on my feed and I was sad to see this dad refusing to accept his child. That doesn’t mean he has to like it or have no feelings about it.
Keep fighting that fight, continue to use his birth name. My son sounds similar to yours but transitioned completely in 2020 during pandemic... surprise, surprise. find some online accounts of detransitioners. They are out there. Show them to your wife and daughter first. I told my son pointblank, you will always be my son. He acknowledged that. Don't give up, truth is on your side.
First, I want to tell you that I understand and feel sorry for what you're going through. Second, I ask you not to repeat that your son is "affirmed" or "supported" by those who are actually "validating" his false belief.
To be clear: your wife is not supporting him. What she's doing is validating his (your son's) idea that he's not a boy but a girl. Your wife is "convalidating" your son's false belief.
If your son said he was a fish, and your wife told him, "Yes, you are a fish," she wouldn't be "supporting" him, would she? No, she would be validating a delusion. So let's stop saying that those who validate delusions or false beliefs are "affirming" or "supporting."
Third, you might want to ask yourself why your son adopted this false belief, and what he hopes to gain by taking cross-sex hormones.
Ask him. And explain why he won't get what he wants through that means, and instead will hurt himself.
Show him that there are other ways to get what he wants; and if there aren't, make him understand that hurting himself won't make him better off, but worse off. Your child should understand the message attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr: "Lord, grant me the serenity to accept all that I cannot change, the courage to change what I am capable of changing, and the wisdom to know the difference."
A light of hope! Yes, that is the right attitude! We need more like you. Now, the problem I see is your family situation, so probably you should educated your wife first showing her all the youth that are coming back to their senses, detransitioning because if you don’t convince your wife first you will end up divorcing as already happened with others matrimonies. And your son will be left with two supportive actors in his story and he doesn’t need that, he needs you as a ancle in reality . There are a lot of videos of hurt people testimonies and also you can show her Dr Glassman videos they are enlightening it. Good luck!
Prayers for all going through this and I want to say these two words since you already mentioned Him....BUT GOD! Just over 5 years ago when this evil hit my home I was all in to learn and understand everything I could about all this. Simply put it really just is the devil at work and as we know he is a loser and will never win. I have been listening to many prophets speak about this and I do believe the end is near. Prodigals will come home and I believe there will be full restoration of all that was lost, including their physical health from the damage this wicked agenda has caused. I am very blessed in that my son came out of this about a year ago now. He is also on the "autism spectrum" (whatever that really means) and is of course still a work in progress but I believe God is at work in all our children and when all is said and done they will become the children that they were created to be (which is not the lie that many are still buying into). If you can search "Burn in Hell Jezebel" (you may have to add Minoa Youtube if it doesn't come up). It's a 2:30 minute video my son posted about a year ago now 10/27/24. This whole agenda is created by the same wicked beings that are trafficking and abusing children, harvesting organs, and doing many other evil things. Their gig is up and I do believe justice will soon be served. God Bless you and everyone else having to deal with this. Prayers for those that believe going along with the lie is the right thing to do...most of them mean well. We are living in times of great deception but I believe the end is near!
We are in the same situation but reverse. I’m the mother who doesn’t affirm while my husband does and his family all support our autistic ADHD gifted daughter in her chosen “male” identity because they choose to reduce their own fear of losing their relationship with her over what’s best for her. It has torn our marriage and family apart. I am looked at and treated like the crazy mother if I dare say anything about how I feel. I am praying for your son and family as I am for mine to find their way back to reality. My fear is that the damage is done and nothing will ever be the same. The body is ruined and they will be tormented by the choices they made as naive susceptible youth. I want those who have participated in this destruction and those who are complicit to feel what it’s like as a parent to watch your child helplessly while they hurt themselves irreplaceably and have Society applaud them. Will there ever be consequences for those who have done this to our children? We will not stop until there are. God bless you and all of those parents who are experiencing the worst nightmare of our lives!
"I want those who have participated in this destruction and those who are complicit to feel what it’s like as a parent to watch your child helplessly while they hurt themselves irreplaceably and have Society applaud them. Will there ever be consequences for those who have done this to our children? We will not stop until there are."
I have an MD, and I am no longer proud of it. My profession's delusional affirmation of "gender ideology" is one reason. Thank you for speaking out and sharing your story.
As a parent of a son who is just like yours, autism spectrum, shy, socially inept - all those things that make our boys sitting ducks for this crazy ideology, I empathize with you. But in a way I am fortunate; my son's father died some years ago so at least I am not living with a parent who thinks so differently than I. It must be so difficult to hear your son called by his female name. All I can say and hope for you and your son is that one day, before too much damage has been done, our kids will see the light. I hope I live long enough to see this whole crazy situation dismantled.
“My son has … always been a smart kid, but social interactions were always difficult. … He was fine at home. … But school and classes were different. He was bored.”
Yes. This is an under-appreciated aspect of our problem.
Call them “smart,” “gifted,” “high-IQ,” whatever. They’ve always been vastly overrepresented among ROGD kids. (Littman, 2018)
About 5% of kids find school days painful, not because school is too hard but because it’s too easy. School is boring. Connecting with peers is hard. Adults are interesting. Books are interesting. Museums are interesting. Making stuff is interesting. The internet is — uh oh. *DANGER*
The rise of ROGD coincided with many things: smart phones, identity threats, etc. It also coincided with the collapse of gifted educational programs, which happened in my state (CA) around 2012.
Knowing that smart, creative kids are a huge portion (like half) of ROGD, I wonder, what portion of CA’s 85,000 ROGD kids (and another 100,000 young adults) (Williams, 2025) were harmed, at least in part, by the lack of challenges in school, and the subsequent boredom, and above all the failure to “find their tribe.”
Discovering “yeah, I’m a geek” or “I’m an artist” is a turning point in every smart kid’s life. If that discovery is made harder, and alternative “discoveries” are pushed — like “actually I’m trans” — then many of these kids may find trans before they find their real tribe. They’ll be derailed by a lie before they discover a profound truth. That’s tragic for them. It’s also tragic for society, since they would otherwise become tomorrow’s leaders and innovators.
It’s a common misconception: oh, smart kids will all turn out fine. No, they won’t. (Gilman, 2008) There are many burned-out smart kids, and the most common reason is failure to find themselves soon enough to make a difference.
“Touch grass” is common advice to trans-tempted youth. It’s good advice. For many kids, “touch math” or “touch oil paints” or “touch Cicero” may also be good advice.
AT least yours is still in the house, we refused to affirm & told our kid if she wanted to go thru with all that she needs to be financially independent with her own health insurance (because these kids are putting the cart before the horse & have their priorities whacked out) she refused to go to college -textbook ROGD super smart bored in school ADHD social discomfort COVID lockdown too much unsupervised time online PLUS ODD & never listened or cooperated with anything (she knows everything especially that we are old & stupid & those fake chinese bot farms online are real & to be trusted) BUT I see no way of reaching her as it is sooo difficult to spend time with her bc she has become one of the most obnoxious, insufferable, abrasive individuals! One track mind, everything is about her trans identity, pushing pushing pushing about "respect" HAH thats a good one! Really seems to relish giving us a hard time & being nasty to us with her self righteousness. She was the most delightful child. This is a nightmare. You might at least still have some influence. I am so sorry your wife is drinking the kool aid. We have resigned ourselves to watching this train wreck from afar & praying at some point she realizes what a mess her body is & it's not working for her. Terrified she is going to have a short miserable life.
This mother is with you. Just be thankful you get to see your son and maybe have influence. I've been totally blocked from my son's life. It's terrifying not knowing anything at all. 😢
Hang in there. Rooting for you
I wanted to share an encouraging message I listened to today on the Julie Green Ministries Rumble channel called "God has a plan for you". I will always remember one day when my son was walking down the stairs in our house...he was still in a very bad way...and I said to him with his back turned "God has big plans for you". God has big plans for all our kids. Keep speaking it and if you have the time listen to Julie's message today. Many people today that I talk to seem to be wondering what their purpose is in this life...not just the young people. It's been something I've been pondering for awhile now too...now that I slowed down because I retired. Things have been crazy for a very long time but Covid really changed things. The best really is yet to come! Hang in there....and prayers to all!
Hang in there dad, you are the only voice of truth in your son's life. Shame on all of the other members of your family going along with his self destruction. It may feel like you are living in an alternate universe at times, but stay the course. Prayers for your strength and determination in this journey.
I don’t understand why you don’t accept him as he is. You are forcing your believes onto him. You remind me of my controlling narcissistic husband who would deny my child’s feelings. You are coming with all the answers and want to fix him. You need to meet him where he is at. Just because the hormones are causing him to feel bad doesn’t mean he will be feeling like that when he is transitioned. Can you even start to imagine how much he is hurting to want to go through this? I feel sorry that he has you as a dad and I hope one day you can be curious about him instead of wanting him to be what is convenient for you. You can start by exploring and sharing how you feel about his transition what is so upsetting about it for you instead of needing him to be different.
What are you doing in this group? We've heard all the rhetoric and have done extensive UNBIASED research. How can you as an "accepting" "loving" and supposedly supportive part of this "community" not listen to and in fact bully and ostracize Detransitioners who know the truth and know what the end game is? Not interested in your enabling of this nightmare. Be gone.
I am just asking that people do the work of exploring their feelings rather than controlling others lives. There is so much black and white thinking and a lot of blaming and pointing fingers rather than living in the difficulty of giving your adult child find their way. I came to this Substack out of curiosity as it popped up on my feed and I was sad to see this dad refusing to accept his child. That doesn’t mean he has to like it or have no feelings about it.
Keep fighting that fight, continue to use his birth name. My son sounds similar to yours but transitioned completely in 2020 during pandemic... surprise, surprise. find some online accounts of detransitioners. They are out there. Show them to your wife and daughter first. I told my son pointblank, you will always be my son. He acknowledged that. Don't give up, truth is on your side.
First, I want to tell you that I understand and feel sorry for what you're going through. Second, I ask you not to repeat that your son is "affirmed" or "supported" by those who are actually "validating" his false belief.
To be clear: your wife is not supporting him. What she's doing is validating his (your son's) idea that he's not a boy but a girl. Your wife is "convalidating" your son's false belief.
If your son said he was a fish, and your wife told him, "Yes, you are a fish," she wouldn't be "supporting" him, would she? No, she would be validating a delusion. So let's stop saying that those who validate delusions or false beliefs are "affirming" or "supporting."
Third, you might want to ask yourself why your son adopted this false belief, and what he hopes to gain by taking cross-sex hormones.
Ask him. And explain why he won't get what he wants through that means, and instead will hurt himself.
Show him that there are other ways to get what he wants; and if there aren't, make him understand that hurting himself won't make him better off, but worse off. Your child should understand the message attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr: "Lord, grant me the serenity to accept all that I cannot change, the courage to change what I am capable of changing, and the wisdom to know the difference."
You could start by buying a poster with that phrase and putting it somewhere where your son and wife can read it.
A light of hope! Yes, that is the right attitude! We need more like you. Now, the problem I see is your family situation, so probably you should educated your wife first showing her all the youth that are coming back to their senses, detransitioning because if you don’t convince your wife first you will end up divorcing as already happened with others matrimonies. And your son will be left with two supportive actors in his story and he doesn’t need that, he needs you as a ancle in reality . There are a lot of videos of hurt people testimonies and also you can show her Dr Glassman videos they are enlightening it. Good luck!
Strength and courage brother. You are doing the right thing for your son, whether your wife agrees or not.
Prayers for all going through this and I want to say these two words since you already mentioned Him....BUT GOD! Just over 5 years ago when this evil hit my home I was all in to learn and understand everything I could about all this. Simply put it really just is the devil at work and as we know he is a loser and will never win. I have been listening to many prophets speak about this and I do believe the end is near. Prodigals will come home and I believe there will be full restoration of all that was lost, including their physical health from the damage this wicked agenda has caused. I am very blessed in that my son came out of this about a year ago now. He is also on the "autism spectrum" (whatever that really means) and is of course still a work in progress but I believe God is at work in all our children and when all is said and done they will become the children that they were created to be (which is not the lie that many are still buying into). If you can search "Burn in Hell Jezebel" (you may have to add Minoa Youtube if it doesn't come up). It's a 2:30 minute video my son posted about a year ago now 10/27/24. This whole agenda is created by the same wicked beings that are trafficking and abusing children, harvesting organs, and doing many other evil things. Their gig is up and I do believe justice will soon be served. God Bless you and everyone else having to deal with this. Prayers for those that believe going along with the lie is the right thing to do...most of them mean well. We are living in times of great deception but I believe the end is near!
BUT GOD! Yes. Thanks for the reminder...
We are in the same situation but reverse. I’m the mother who doesn’t affirm while my husband does and his family all support our autistic ADHD gifted daughter in her chosen “male” identity because they choose to reduce their own fear of losing their relationship with her over what’s best for her. It has torn our marriage and family apart. I am looked at and treated like the crazy mother if I dare say anything about how I feel. I am praying for your son and family as I am for mine to find their way back to reality. My fear is that the damage is done and nothing will ever be the same. The body is ruined and they will be tormented by the choices they made as naive susceptible youth. I want those who have participated in this destruction and those who are complicit to feel what it’s like as a parent to watch your child helplessly while they hurt themselves irreplaceably and have Society applaud them. Will there ever be consequences for those who have done this to our children? We will not stop until there are. God bless you and all of those parents who are experiencing the worst nightmare of our lives!
"I want those who have participated in this destruction and those who are complicit to feel what it’s like as a parent to watch your child helplessly while they hurt themselves irreplaceably and have Society applaud them. Will there ever be consequences for those who have done this to our children? We will not stop until there are."
Amen.
I have an MD, and I am no longer proud of it. My profession's delusional affirmation of "gender ideology" is one reason. Thank you for speaking out and sharing your story.
As a parent of a son who is just like yours, autism spectrum, shy, socially inept - all those things that make our boys sitting ducks for this crazy ideology, I empathize with you. But in a way I am fortunate; my son's father died some years ago so at least I am not living with a parent who thinks so differently than I. It must be so difficult to hear your son called by his female name. All I can say and hope for you and your son is that one day, before too much damage has been done, our kids will see the light. I hope I live long enough to see this whole crazy situation dismantled.
“My son has … always been a smart kid, but social interactions were always difficult. … He was fine at home. … But school and classes were different. He was bored.”
Yes. This is an under-appreciated aspect of our problem.
Call them “smart,” “gifted,” “high-IQ,” whatever. They’ve always been vastly overrepresented among ROGD kids. (Littman, 2018)
About 5% of kids find school days painful, not because school is too hard but because it’s too easy. School is boring. Connecting with peers is hard. Adults are interesting. Books are interesting. Museums are interesting. Making stuff is interesting. The internet is — uh oh. *DANGER*
The rise of ROGD coincided with many things: smart phones, identity threats, etc. It also coincided with the collapse of gifted educational programs, which happened in my state (CA) around 2012.
Knowing that smart, creative kids are a huge portion (like half) of ROGD, I wonder, what portion of CA’s 85,000 ROGD kids (and another 100,000 young adults) (Williams, 2025) were harmed, at least in part, by the lack of challenges in school, and the subsequent boredom, and above all the failure to “find their tribe.”
Discovering “yeah, I’m a geek” or “I’m an artist” is a turning point in every smart kid’s life. If that discovery is made harder, and alternative “discoveries” are pushed — like “actually I’m trans” — then many of these kids may find trans before they find their real tribe. They’ll be derailed by a lie before they discover a profound truth. That’s tragic for them. It’s also tragic for society, since they would otherwise become tomorrow’s leaders and innovators.
It’s a common misconception: oh, smart kids will all turn out fine. No, they won’t. (Gilman, 2008) There are many burned-out smart kids, and the most common reason is failure to find themselves soon enough to make a difference.
“Touch grass” is common advice to trans-tempted youth. It’s good advice. For many kids, “touch math” or “touch oil paints” or “touch Cicero” may also be good advice.
I don't know your faith, but it is all spiritual warfare. Ephesians 6:12
Gender ideology = demonic
Vaccine industry = demonic
COVID plandemic = demonic
Keep speaking truth!
Lisa Littman, "Parent reports of adolescents and young adults perceived to show signs of a rapid onset of gender dysphoria," 2018. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0202330
Williams Institute @ UCLA Law, "How Many Adults and Youth Identify as Transgender in the United States?" 2025. https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/publications/trans-adults-united-states/
Barbara Gilman, "Academic advocacy for gifted children," Great Potential Press, 2008. https://catalog.libraries.psu.edu/catalog/4908304
Does your wife realize that your son may become sterile?
AT least yours is still in the house, we refused to affirm & told our kid if she wanted to go thru with all that she needs to be financially independent with her own health insurance (because these kids are putting the cart before the horse & have their priorities whacked out) she refused to go to college -textbook ROGD super smart bored in school ADHD social discomfort COVID lockdown too much unsupervised time online PLUS ODD & never listened or cooperated with anything (she knows everything especially that we are old & stupid & those fake chinese bot farms online are real & to be trusted) BUT I see no way of reaching her as it is sooo difficult to spend time with her bc she has become one of the most obnoxious, insufferable, abrasive individuals! One track mind, everything is about her trans identity, pushing pushing pushing about "respect" HAH thats a good one! Really seems to relish giving us a hard time & being nasty to us with her self righteousness. She was the most delightful child. This is a nightmare. You might at least still have some influence. I am so sorry your wife is drinking the kool aid. We have resigned ourselves to watching this train wreck from afar & praying at some point she realizes what a mess her body is & it's not working for her. Terrified she is going to have a short miserable life.