Most people who publish on the PITT Substack are parents who struggle with raising minor children (or worry about their young adult children) who are caught up in confusion surrounding sex and gender. These parents have to remain anonymous to protect their and their kids’ privacy, which totally makes sense. I admire PITT and the parents who publish here. I am not a parent, but I do have a story to tell, and I have my own reasons for remaining anonymous.
The last paragraph you wrote is honestly what I keep getting drawn back to when I think of the transgender movement. When my child came out as transfem at age 12. I asked “why do you want to put yourself in a box?” Be Feminine, Be Masculine, Be in-between…Be Human”.
For the last 3 years this movement has taught me: that questioning the sex/gender relationship is evolution.
But what they have also taught me is that they are still not evolved enough to see what they are actually asking for.
Most often the trans movement is just a flip to the other gender. They feel propelled to choose one gender over the other because they are fighting the gender construct.
But what they can’t see is that choosing the other gender and then asking our medical industry to make their sex match.. is on the verge of practicing de-evolution. It’s not thinking outside of the bi-gender box, it’s trapping themselves inside of it. It’s reinforcing our social dedication to a bi-gendered society.
Sex is what anatomy you were given. Gender is a fluid construct.
Be the open rainbow human that is allowed to feel a spectrum of emotions or love a spectrum of humans, not matter what anatomy you were given.
You are absolutely right. She is a biological female - if she wants to call herself non binary - so what? But when anyone DEMANDS that you use pronouns to affirm their delusion, it is going too far - you have a right not to be forced to lie - your relationship with GOD or reality is your relationship - where is the respect for personal beliefs or religious faith? The sad reality is that, if she decides, she does not want to be non binary and tells her LGBT friends she wants to identify as a female and wants she/her pronouns, she will see how quickly her "friends" will tell her she was never trans or non binary and how fast her "friends" who are so inclusive will reject her and stop being "friends" with her. I just hope that she does not hire a sperm donor and destroy the life of a child with her immoral lesbian relationship.
It's the propaganda of the mainstream news and gender ideologues that says "Trans rights are human rights" so if you don't accept them as "transgender" you must think they have "human rights." The narrative also says if you don't accept them as "transgender" then you are "erasing their humanity" or denying they "exist."
Of course we know it's crazy. But the narrative is about dehumanizing us as "evil persecutors" who "deny their existence and human rights." They would not say such things if they would actually, honestly, ask how we feel about the situation. Instead they imagine a boogie man that the media & trans groups made up out of thin air.
Thank you so much. There is obviously a play book on the internet because I have heard parents repeat these same sentences. It's very hard to keep up an illusion. You are pretty much damned if you do or damned if you don't. What parents need to figure out if the reason for being damned is delusional or based on reality.
"...wrote her back very cautiously, reminding her that regardless of identity, she is female."
Yeah, telling her what she is wasn't being "cautious" at that time. Perhaps you realize that now.
"I believe you are beautiful and perfect as you are, and your mother was so wrong to force you to conform to some arbitrary standard. To me, the words you choose to describe yourself are secondary to the wonderful person I know and love. It's great to see you reach for your happiness, you deserve it!" Something like that. Affirm the person, not the trans-speak.
"You don't accept transgender people," accept being the key word. "Accept," as translated from T-cult/news speak means quit thinking for yourself and repeat the mantra back to me. Your willingness to stand by your cousin by remaining grounded in reality will hopefully pay off some day. As your cousin gets battered around in the storm, with cheering from those around her, you are the lighthouse that keeps signaling. I hope and pray your cousin will someday see you through the fog.
Trans is such a retreat from having to deal with psychological scars. As soon as you declare "trans," your therapist has to back off from exploring mastectomy as a way of expressing anger towards a bad mother. Trans shuts down every other exploration, because it would be "conversion therapy" to look at why someone feels that way. How bizarre!
This has taken a strong hold since another belief based denial of reality has become widespread in the US, the denial of evolution that evolution exists. I’ve had many arguments with scientists, chemists, not biologists, and engineers about this.
It’s amazing how many people readily accept that biological sexes, and not rigid gender *roles* applied to them, are social constructs.
I’m very confused, but antidepressants have caused many of my friends to increasingly live in fantasy worlds of their own construction.
I wonder if their widespread use is contributing to people’s ability/tendency to reject many aspects of reality that make them uncomfortable, instead of facing them and dealing with them, as gestalt or cognitive behavioral therapy might actually help them do?
A midwestern doctor has a great substack where he just tackled the connection between antidepressants and violence or suicide.
". . .she is female. Her response was simply, 'My gender is not up for debate.' "
And this is where you see the cultspeak. Because gender and sex are not the same. You said nothing about her gender, and she said nothing about her sex.
Truly, no one minds what gender stereotype she wants to indulge in. No one cares if she changes her clothes, hairstyle and makeup/no makeup every day, playing with gender "fluidity." She can change them several times a day. (Certainly, changing your clothes, hairstyle and makeup/no makeup several times a day is not new to young women indulging in gender stereotypes.) Whatever floats her boat.
But her sex is female. And that's not up for debate.
Thank you so much for telling this story. I really sympathize and am upset for you about your mother baiting you when you seem to be the only one around H who cares for her, and, yes, fully accepts her as a human being. Cult members just don't think logically. Most of the women I know deciding they are men are het, so it's a lot sadder when it's a Lesbian. I'm sure you're right that it's a response to what her mother did to her, and of course, sadly, wanting to be a man means wanting equal rights and privilege, to not be put down as women are, not pornified, not preyed on as women are, and so much else. One woman I know said she did it "to not get raped anymore." Being a Lesbian who rejects fake male-identified femininity gives some protection, but I'm guessing that the societal hetero-patriarchal pressure is always on H's mind though, to be a "proper" or "normal" woman, even though it's all artificial. It's tragic, but at least you've let her know you care and maybe she will come to her senses and give you support also. And thank you for being outspoken as a TERF, which supports us also.
I had really been impressed with this group when I first found it last year, thinking that a parents' group could be a powerful way to fight this evil cult. But now I'm also horrified at the religious fanatics here, ranting about non-existent gods and prayer, and then targeting Lesbians and other women for causing this terrible cult that we have been fighting it alone most of our lives (some of us since we were teenagers in 1970.) Religion and obeying male rules are part of the problem, with shaming girls who do not want to be part of or fit in with het role-playing and fake male-identified porny"femininity." And the glorification that religion and the pornified media both push that harmful "femininity" which makes girls like H who hate it feel like freaks and they must be male. If women stopped playing into this dangerous game then the men fetishizing women would have nothing to imitate and that could be another way to shut them down. (They could only do so much mirror and phone gazing if they were the only ones posing.)
So, what about the gender clinics though and the liberals that run them and rant about how they hate Donald Trump and on the flip side, Catholics who believe that mutilating the body is a sin? I can definitely see your point, sort of, but it's a bit off. The Catholic church denounces this but they get no credit. Here's a fact: Politicizing this is a ploy to divide us all, a distraction when the truth is, this hits all parties, all types of families the same. No one gets away from the gender cult.
I'm not sure what you're asking of me. I don't support anyone who supports trans, but I do support being against Trump who would like me dead or worse. (The republicans support the trans cult more than most realize.) Anyone supporting the trans cult is our enemy, and, for me, the enemy of girls, women, and Lesbians.
I was raised catholic and it was very good to be in girls-only high schools to escape the harassment from boys in grade school and also that we were not pressured to be het (or less pressure than what was around us). I also appreciate that the catholics continue some of these schools and recognize that no one can transition. But does that mean I agree with a male god who hates most of us? Of course not. The good also does not erase the horrific catholic history of genocide and sexual assault.
The fact is that this is all political in that we have choices we can make and those decisions affect others (as opposed to "just do whatever you like"). I don't understand how knowing that divides us. The only division I see is when someone lectures us and uses an imaginary male god to tell us what to do. And when Lesbians who have fought this mess for all of our lives, and in my case, paying an enormously high price for it (including going into print since 1973) and demonstrating against it , including being send death threats. Why not tell those who are blaming me and other Lesbians who were warning the world about this that they are who are dividing us? (By the way, an important former Lesbian publication just printed their first pro-trans issue that with an article that slanders me by name on behalf of the man/trans who has stalked me since I was 17.)
No, this horror is not affecting everyone the same. A local liberal posh bookstore has terrible pro-trans books/propaganda, so they and the writers are benefiting. There are SO many writers now, including those producing films, television shows, plays, etc. who are bowing down to the trans cult. It's assumed that most will make their virtue signaling obligatory statement. The media where I live is full of it, with lies about how the trans are the most oppressed, threatened, attacked, when they are those who are doing the most threats and attacks. So many are benefiting, so go after them, not your allies who have risked our lives over this.
The words you choose here are not objective, imo. Words like "fanatics" and "ranting" and "non existent" . This will only lead to division amongst people who are objectively trying to stand against a common evil. The old "Divide and Conquer" comes right out of an ancient playbook.
The irony of those who lump together any and all who claim to be of faith, complaining about being "attacked," astounds me. There are fanatics on all sides and the use of "we" can derail a conversation and be an excuse for others to discard your input. It's used to lump together those who refer to themselves as feminists (as I do), as if there's a feminist hive mind. That same lumping is used on those who profess a belief in God, even though one's idea of God may be vastly different from the idea of God as imagined by others.
I'm not attacking by telling the truth. If you check recent posts in the last week or two, there is so much abusive attacking of Lesbians and gay men also by christians. They say we are the problem and rant in incredibly insulting ways. It's very disheartening and worrying because, yes, we should be on the same side. I'm seeing this in other sites too that are theoretically against the trans cult.
None of this is new to me or not thought about. I recommend you think about how many men, including married men and religious men are obsessed with porn. Sometimes the wives don't know, but they can find out.
This, I think, is in part where the violent rhetoric around TERFs etc stems from. It's drilled into them that one of the gravest sins is to "misgender" someone; it is an act of literal violence, denying them their very humanity, their very existence.
They're unable to view this with a broader perspective and understand that their gender identity is a personal and private experience that should require no external validation, and is not even relevant to public life. Someone holding different views on sex and gender should have no bearing on their private, inner experience. Just as it isn't relevant except to your closest friends and family whether you're an atheist, a Christian, or something else. (And many families agree to put differences aside for the sake of their relationships.) None negate the others. It's not an attack to not share a belief system.
But when you couch simple non-belief in terms like hatred, bigotry, erasure, violence, and even genocide, it's easy to see how these baseless assumptions are made.
How fragile they must be to be so threatened by someone stating, "I don't believe in that stuff."
Jordan Peterson has written a very hard hitting piece published on 27th March 2023 in the Daily Telegraph in UK: "Trans Activism is Sexist and Delusional". Excellent!
I think as the trans ideology is being questioned there are many families who supported someone's conversion. They will not want to face the fact they may have been wrong. The side effects will start to show and they will be in denial. The Trans person themselves will say...they have cut off my breast and it went wrong and I have really bad scars.....but I don't regret a thing. They really won't want to see the "I told you" family member however nicely you said it
The last paragraph you wrote is honestly what I keep getting drawn back to when I think of the transgender movement. When my child came out as transfem at age 12. I asked “why do you want to put yourself in a box?” Be Feminine, Be Masculine, Be in-between…Be Human”.
For the last 3 years this movement has taught me: that questioning the sex/gender relationship is evolution.
But what they have also taught me is that they are still not evolved enough to see what they are actually asking for.
Most often the trans movement is just a flip to the other gender. They feel propelled to choose one gender over the other because they are fighting the gender construct.
But what they can’t see is that choosing the other gender and then asking our medical industry to make their sex match.. is on the verge of practicing de-evolution. It’s not thinking outside of the bi-gender box, it’s trapping themselves inside of it. It’s reinforcing our social dedication to a bi-gendered society.
Sex is what anatomy you were given. Gender is a fluid construct.
Be the open rainbow human that is allowed to feel a spectrum of emotions or love a spectrum of humans, not matter what anatomy you were given.
.
You are absolutely right. She is a biological female - if she wants to call herself non binary - so what? But when anyone DEMANDS that you use pronouns to affirm their delusion, it is going too far - you have a right not to be forced to lie - your relationship with GOD or reality is your relationship - where is the respect for personal beliefs or religious faith? The sad reality is that, if she decides, she does not want to be non binary and tells her LGBT friends she wants to identify as a female and wants she/her pronouns, she will see how quickly her "friends" will tell her she was never trans or non binary and how fast her "friends" who are so inclusive will reject her and stop being "friends" with her. I just hope that she does not hire a sperm donor and destroy the life of a child with her immoral lesbian relationship.
It's the propaganda of the mainstream news and gender ideologues that says "Trans rights are human rights" so if you don't accept them as "transgender" you must think they have "human rights." The narrative also says if you don't accept them as "transgender" then you are "erasing their humanity" or denying they "exist."
Of course we know it's crazy. But the narrative is about dehumanizing us as "evil persecutors" who "deny their existence and human rights." They would not say such things if they would actually, honestly, ask how we feel about the situation. Instead they imagine a boogie man that the media & trans groups made up out of thin air.
They're fighting an enemy that doesn't exist.
Thank you for this insight.
Thank you so much. There is obviously a play book on the internet because I have heard parents repeat these same sentences. It's very hard to keep up an illusion. You are pretty much damned if you do or damned if you don't. What parents need to figure out if the reason for being damned is delusional or based on reality.
"...wrote her back very cautiously, reminding her that regardless of identity, she is female."
Yeah, telling her what she is wasn't being "cautious" at that time. Perhaps you realize that now.
"I believe you are beautiful and perfect as you are, and your mother was so wrong to force you to conform to some arbitrary standard. To me, the words you choose to describe yourself are secondary to the wonderful person I know and love. It's great to see you reach for your happiness, you deserve it!" Something like that. Affirm the person, not the trans-speak.
"You don't accept transgender people," accept being the key word. "Accept," as translated from T-cult/news speak means quit thinking for yourself and repeat the mantra back to me. Your willingness to stand by your cousin by remaining grounded in reality will hopefully pay off some day. As your cousin gets battered around in the storm, with cheering from those around her, you are the lighthouse that keeps signaling. I hope and pray your cousin will someday see you through the fog.
Trans is such a retreat from having to deal with psychological scars. As soon as you declare "trans," your therapist has to back off from exploring mastectomy as a way of expressing anger towards a bad mother. Trans shuts down every other exploration, because it would be "conversion therapy" to look at why someone feels that way. How bizarre!
This has taken a strong hold since another belief based denial of reality has become widespread in the US, the denial of evolution that evolution exists. I’ve had many arguments with scientists, chemists, not biologists, and engineers about this.
It’s amazing how many people readily accept that biological sexes, and not rigid gender *roles* applied to them, are social constructs.
I’m very confused, but antidepressants have caused many of my friends to increasingly live in fantasy worlds of their own construction.
I wonder if their widespread use is contributing to people’s ability/tendency to reject many aspects of reality that make them uncomfortable, instead of facing them and dealing with them, as gestalt or cognitive behavioral therapy might actually help them do?
A midwestern doctor has a great substack where he just tackled the connection between antidepressants and violence or suicide.
". . .she is female. Her response was simply, 'My gender is not up for debate.' "
And this is where you see the cultspeak. Because gender and sex are not the same. You said nothing about her gender, and she said nothing about her sex.
Truly, no one minds what gender stereotype she wants to indulge in. No one cares if she changes her clothes, hairstyle and makeup/no makeup every day, playing with gender "fluidity." She can change them several times a day. (Certainly, changing your clothes, hairstyle and makeup/no makeup several times a day is not new to young women indulging in gender stereotypes.) Whatever floats her boat.
But her sex is female. And that's not up for debate.
Please do not distance yourself from your mother. She is lost with this stuff.
Thank you so much for telling this story. I really sympathize and am upset for you about your mother baiting you when you seem to be the only one around H who cares for her, and, yes, fully accepts her as a human being. Cult members just don't think logically. Most of the women I know deciding they are men are het, so it's a lot sadder when it's a Lesbian. I'm sure you're right that it's a response to what her mother did to her, and of course, sadly, wanting to be a man means wanting equal rights and privilege, to not be put down as women are, not pornified, not preyed on as women are, and so much else. One woman I know said she did it "to not get raped anymore." Being a Lesbian who rejects fake male-identified femininity gives some protection, but I'm guessing that the societal hetero-patriarchal pressure is always on H's mind though, to be a "proper" or "normal" woman, even though it's all artificial. It's tragic, but at least you've let her know you care and maybe she will come to her senses and give you support also. And thank you for being outspoken as a TERF, which supports us also.
I had really been impressed with this group when I first found it last year, thinking that a parents' group could be a powerful way to fight this evil cult. But now I'm also horrified at the religious fanatics here, ranting about non-existent gods and prayer, and then targeting Lesbians and other women for causing this terrible cult that we have been fighting it alone most of our lives (some of us since we were teenagers in 1970.) Religion and obeying male rules are part of the problem, with shaming girls who do not want to be part of or fit in with het role-playing and fake male-identified porny"femininity." And the glorification that religion and the pornified media both push that harmful "femininity" which makes girls like H who hate it feel like freaks and they must be male. If women stopped playing into this dangerous game then the men fetishizing women would have nothing to imitate and that could be another way to shut them down. (They could only do so much mirror and phone gazing if they were the only ones posing.)
So, what about the gender clinics though and the liberals that run them and rant about how they hate Donald Trump and on the flip side, Catholics who believe that mutilating the body is a sin? I can definitely see your point, sort of, but it's a bit off. The Catholic church denounces this but they get no credit. Here's a fact: Politicizing this is a ploy to divide us all, a distraction when the truth is, this hits all parties, all types of families the same. No one gets away from the gender cult.
I'm not sure what you're asking of me. I don't support anyone who supports trans, but I do support being against Trump who would like me dead or worse. (The republicans support the trans cult more than most realize.) Anyone supporting the trans cult is our enemy, and, for me, the enemy of girls, women, and Lesbians.
I was raised catholic and it was very good to be in girls-only high schools to escape the harassment from boys in grade school and also that we were not pressured to be het (or less pressure than what was around us). I also appreciate that the catholics continue some of these schools and recognize that no one can transition. But does that mean I agree with a male god who hates most of us? Of course not. The good also does not erase the horrific catholic history of genocide and sexual assault.
The fact is that this is all political in that we have choices we can make and those decisions affect others (as opposed to "just do whatever you like"). I don't understand how knowing that divides us. The only division I see is when someone lectures us and uses an imaginary male god to tell us what to do. And when Lesbians who have fought this mess for all of our lives, and in my case, paying an enormously high price for it (including going into print since 1973) and demonstrating against it , including being send death threats. Why not tell those who are blaming me and other Lesbians who were warning the world about this that they are who are dividing us? (By the way, an important former Lesbian publication just printed their first pro-trans issue that with an article that slanders me by name on behalf of the man/trans who has stalked me since I was 17.)
No, this horror is not affecting everyone the same. A local liberal posh bookstore has terrible pro-trans books/propaganda, so they and the writers are benefiting. There are SO many writers now, including those producing films, television shows, plays, etc. who are bowing down to the trans cult. It's assumed that most will make their virtue signaling obligatory statement. The media where I live is full of it, with lies about how the trans are the most oppressed, threatened, attacked, when they are those who are doing the most threats and attacks. So many are benefiting, so go after them, not your allies who have risked our lives over this.
The words you choose here are not objective, imo. Words like "fanatics" and "ranting" and "non existent" . This will only lead to division amongst people who are objectively trying to stand against a common evil. The old "Divide and Conquer" comes right out of an ancient playbook.
There is no reason to attack those of us who believe in God. We are on your side.
I think you need to mentally block Bev Jo. She frequently brings politics into this and it's just not worth the rabbit holes.
I think we all need to mentally block Faith2014. She's clearly not an ally that hurting parents can rely on.
This is very political, including religion. I object to the insults and whatever harms us. Definitely relevant.
The irony of those who lump together any and all who claim to be of faith, complaining about being "attacked," astounds me. There are fanatics on all sides and the use of "we" can derail a conversation and be an excuse for others to discard your input. It's used to lump together those who refer to themselves as feminists (as I do), as if there's a feminist hive mind. That same lumping is used on those who profess a belief in God, even though one's idea of God may be vastly different from the idea of God as imagined by others.
There is no reason for those who believe in God to attack feminists and/or the LGB.
And yet certain ones do it in these comments all the time.
I'm not attacking by telling the truth. If you check recent posts in the last week or two, there is so much abusive attacking of Lesbians and gay men also by christians. They say we are the problem and rant in incredibly insulting ways. It's very disheartening and worrying because, yes, we should be on the same side. I'm seeing this in other sites too that are theoretically against the trans cult.
Bev Jo, I think there is more for you to see here.
You conflated porn and religion in your previous comment.
The "het" view of women you called it.
Spirituality and Porn are diametrically opposed. Something to think about.
Parenting and Porn are opposed. Marriage and porn are opposed.
Something to think about.
None of this is new to me or not thought about. I recommend you think about how many men, including married men and religious men are obsessed with porn. Sometimes the wives don't know, but they can find out.
I avoid them all.
This, I think, is in part where the violent rhetoric around TERFs etc stems from. It's drilled into them that one of the gravest sins is to "misgender" someone; it is an act of literal violence, denying them their very humanity, their very existence.
They're unable to view this with a broader perspective and understand that their gender identity is a personal and private experience that should require no external validation, and is not even relevant to public life. Someone holding different views on sex and gender should have no bearing on their private, inner experience. Just as it isn't relevant except to your closest friends and family whether you're an atheist, a Christian, or something else. (And many families agree to put differences aside for the sake of their relationships.) None negate the others. It's not an attack to not share a belief system.
But when you couch simple non-belief in terms like hatred, bigotry, erasure, violence, and even genocide, it's easy to see how these baseless assumptions are made.
How fragile they must be to be so threatened by someone stating, "I don't believe in that stuff."
Trans is a terrible plight on our earth. Please, God, forgive and deliver us!!
Jordan Peterson has written a very hard hitting piece published on 27th March 2023 in the Daily Telegraph in UK: "Trans Activism is Sexist and Delusional". Excellent!
I think as the trans ideology is being questioned there are many families who supported someone's conversion. They will not want to face the fact they may have been wrong. The side effects will start to show and they will be in denial. The Trans person themselves will say...they have cut off my breast and it went wrong and I have really bad scars.....but I don't regret a thing. They really won't want to see the "I told you" family member however nicely you said it