I suffer from parental dysphoria. Parental Dysphoria is a new condition, that is growing in frequency as the transgender trend picks up steam, infecting all of our children. Specifically, it’s the discomfort with your sense of self and view of reality that results from your child’s sudden announcement that he or she is transgender. Parental Dysphoria commonly results from the immense societal pressure to unquestioningly support your child’s “gender journey”, up to and including social transition to the opposite gender (or, non-binary), wrong-sex hormones, and surgeries.
After 3 weeks of collecting information in all directions pros and cons. I was still sure that it was the wrong way to modify your body because you couldn't come to terms with your gender role. It is actually extremely dangerous. The result would at best be the same: my son would have found himself and realized that his body does not define his soul. It took many conversations to make this clear to him. Informed conversations open conversations but I no longer hid my beliefs.
Thank you for the article, that's exactly how I felt for a short time. Luckily I couldn't stay silent. It is also lucky for my son that I rejected my female body for a long time as a teenager and adult. Luckily, I knew that my innermost self had no gender. Gender is the physical part, gender is the social reflection, I is what I make of it. Unfortunately, I had to figure it out on my own at the time, had I been offered the options for gender reassignment back then and for free. I would have run straight in without thinking twice. But I managed it, without therapy. I wanted to help my son and went to a psychologist. She talked to him for 30 minutes, then to us. She immediately confirmed that my son was a woman and had no other psychological problems that did not result from being in the wrong body. When I told her my story, she didn't really want to believe it at first. Thought I was still a cis woman even though I was a tomboy. Then I came up with clownfish?? Hence snails. Ah yes and ring finger/index finger. Conditions (my ring fingers are very long. When I countered, she became more manipulative, spoke of self-harm, self-castration, suicide. She never sent her study certificates that she wanted to send.... She then abruptly stopped the conversation, saying she had it right away the next appointment.
Vielen Dank für den Artikel, genau so ging es mir kurzzeitig. Ich konnte nicht schweigen zum Glück. Auch Glück für meinen Sohn ist, dass ich als Jugendliche und Erwachsene lange meinen weiblichen Körper abgelehnt hatte. So wusste ich zum Glück, das mein innersten Ich kein Geschlecht hat. Geschlecht ist der körperliche Part, Gender ist die Gesellschaftliche Spiegelung, Ich ist das was ich daraus mache. Leider musste ich damals alleine darauf kommen, hätte man mir damals die Optionen zur Geschlechtsangleichung angeboten und das noch dazu umsonst. Wäre ich direkt hinein gerannt ohne lange zu überlegen. Aber es ist mir gelungen, ohne Therapie. Ich wollte meinem Sohn helfen und bin zu einer Psychologin. Diese hat 30 Min. mit ihm geredet, dann mit uns zusammen. Sofort hat sie bestätigt mein Sohn sei eine Frau, habe keine anderen pychischen Probleme, die nicht daraus resultieren, das er im Falschen Körper steckt. Als ich ihr dann meine Geschichte erzählt habe, wollte sie zuerst nicht recht glauben. Meinte ich sei dennoch eine Cis-Frau auch wenn ich Tomboy war. Kam mir dann mit Clownfischen?? Schnecken daher. Ah ja und Ringfinger/ Zeigefinger. Verhältnise ( meine Ringfinger sind sehr lang. Auf meine Gegenrede, wurde sie manipulativer, sprach von Selbstverletzung, Selbstkastration, Selbstmord. Ihre Studiennachweise, die sich schicken wollte hat sie nie geschickt.... Sie brach dann abrupt das Gespräch ab, sie habe gleich den nächsten Termin.
"It’s feeling that the liberal, progressive values you instilled in your children are being used against you in a way you could never have seen coming. It’s disheartening, destabilizing and destructive." Indeed. Once the trans cult took hold of my firstborn, not only did I regret attending a gay marriage rally with him, but his sisters and I all took a hard right. The left has become wicked. Where did all the anti war, bleeding hearts of the 90's go? Now they tell me that if I don't accept the lie that seeks to destroy my child's body, mind, and spirit, If I try to protect him, I am a hateful, bigoted, horrible mother. #walkaway
Thank you for sharing this. I am not a parent. I am an educator. I have little understanding of trans ideology. I am attempting to just listen to people's experiences. I am questioning how "progressive" the progressive movement is when it silences voices like this. I am sorry for you and your child's pain. I wish you freedom from suffering.
Modern progressivism has lost it's way. Progressive liberals (myself was once included here) used to be guided by a morality and love for people and the desire to care for them. It valued a sense of feminine care as well as masculine bravery to stand up to the establishment and want better for the future.
That is gone today. What modern progressive liberals (read: far-left activist types, social justice warriors, TRA's, 4/5th wave radical feminists) value is vengeance. They desire the destruction of all structures they view as 'oppressive' no matter how many people they need to destroy to do so. They are taught 'selective-empathy' to those in-group and brutal and cruel intolerance to those who are out-group. There are collectivist origins there. Post-modern, post structural thought can be seen throughout. They learn to view the world in a strict enemy-ally dichotomy. You can see it in the language and rhetoric of their literature, their stories and embedded into every vitriol-dripping slur they scream at those who don't agree.
They are MUCH more similar to one of the original social justice and feminist movements of the early 1900's - the KKK rather than the Civil Rights movement. Yes, a revolting thought, I know. However that group was motivated by the same types of factors - vengeance against those outside their group, the protection of their 'values' and the villainization of those that were not staunch 'allies'.
Watch the escalation of violence from the illiberal left closely. Most left-aligned people who have been silent in this culture war are now considered 'conservative.' Who would have thought?
Thanks so much for taking the time to share your thinking on this. The thing is the more you attack the thing you hate the more you become it. I pray we can find a way to listen to each other again.
Same. I feel broken to see what has become of the West. The polarization, the breakdown of communication and healthy debate, the loss of a shared sense of direction and purpose - despite political differences. It really felt in the 1990's that we were headed in the right direction - and now everything is upside down.
Thank you for sharing your story. You may already be too late to correct any damage done to your child. Remember, YOU are the parent and you—not the schools, the culture, or the child's peers—are responsible for raising your child. You show great wisdom in what has happened. Keep sharing that with other parents. And FORGIVE yourself for not keeping a closer tab on your child. It's hard, really hard these days. But Parents must do it to save our generation of children.
My son has only suggested that he "may" be trans but is bisexual. I have questions about my daughter as well who declared she was gay in middle school but has since claimed she is not. She is 19 now but goes by a "nickname" at college. I have never felt such a loss of control and deep sadness as I have felt with these situations. I definitely blame the internet and anime. I blame myself for being naive. All I can do is pray and try to stay close to my kids as this hopefully passes. Parental Dysphoria is exhausting.
When my oldest transitioned, they *literally* chose new legal name from the Marvel Universe. They were not permitted the surname by the court because it was trademarked. This is not an exaggeration. It is *literally* reality.
At the same time, I feel the writer's grief. Their anger. Their agony. Their struggle. That's real too.
Parental dysphoria is so mentally heart breaking! I nearly lost my 9 yr old daughter, I put up the biggest fight and never gave up, it wasn’t easy, but I now have her back under my wing…
Reading this like I could've wrote this myself… yet I couldn’t have wrote it as perfectly put as this. “Changing their name that likely gets its origin from Pokémon instead of the family heritage” was spot on, as it’s exactly what our children are doing with online indoctrination stuff they watch!! 😣
I could have written so much of this myself, but I have to say, I reject the notion that I have "Parental Dysphoria." My kiddo and I are having parallel experiences, so I will choose to trust myself as a parent and model using difficult things to help me grow, grace in suffering, radical self-love and acceptance, continuous awe and wonder in this rich life we all get to experience, and I will also trust that my kid will one day embrace the awe-inspiring state that is womanhood on a planet that is filled with LIFE that only females can birth into it.
With that said, it took awhile to recover from the initial fear of our situation, the good fortune of working with a really good therapist, and it continues to take conscious effort to not let fear overtake my resolve. Let's use this community as a way to bolster ourselves as we model what womanhood really is for both our girls and our boys. Let's remind through our example, that our girls want it for themselves, and our boys want to protect the integrity of it--because it is sacred! We are powerful and they don't get to take this from us--this IS in our control.
Our children are individuating during a time when this normal teenage process has become precarious, especially for the quirky, sensitive kid who struggles to fit in and discovers "transgender" as an avatar, a character they get to develop then hide behind. They live in a world where misogyny seems rampant and everything is pornified. And who would want to grow up and become a "Karen"?! We need to make womanhood more attractive, and the only way to do that is to figure out our own shit. We can use this as a wake-up call to get our own lives in order. My child has managed to trigger strong emotional responses (even rage on occasion) from me throughout this “trans journey” she’s decided to embark on, and each time, I reinforce what the world is telling her about me: that I’m not fit to parent a trans child. Deep down she knows better. She knows that I know and love her better than anyone else could for the sheer fact that she’s my daughter. And, I trust my kid. She’s brilliant and determined, and one day, she’ll see through all the b.s. This really shook me to my core, and for a time, my parenting confidence plummeted–and it showed. Both she and I saw a dark side of me neither of us knew existed. And that’s okay too. I modeled (and keep modeling) being a flawed human. Then I model relationship repair by apologizing for what I can take genuine responsibility for. I’m a good mom. You’re a good mom. So how do we model womanhood in a way our daughters will want for themselves? We need to get clear on our own values (this experience has brought crystal clarity to mine) and we create satisfying and meaningful lives for ourselves by being in alignment with those values. We don’t let this wreck us–martyrdom isn’t attractive; we do the opposite and let this reflect back to us where we need to keep growing. And we trust. Ourselves AND our kids–if we hang out in fear, we not only damage the relationship by communicating that we don’t trust them, but we also demonstrate a very unappealing version of womanhood. Stay attuned to our children (which I believe can only happen in healthy way if we’re also tuned into ourselves) and seize and savor all moments of connection, AND have boundaries around our own quality of life. Model gratitude and joy. Does this make sense? Thank you for wanting to hear this. I want to say more because I think this is so important! I’ve said some in my responses to the comments on My Daughter (early December PITT.) Stoic principles and the Serenity Prayer have helped me tremendously. Pay attention to our energy. Are we operating out of trust or fear? 90% of people who join cults, leave them. I trust my kid is going to be one of those 90%. Might take longer than I hope for, but it will happen. One day, she’ll be a woman to be reckoned with. Through my lens, she already is.
My view is that "leaning into the lie" as a parent is the worst thing we could do. We may have to be a little quiet and we do need to be calm but we parents might be the only ones in our child's lives not to gas light them. (It does take a little while to regain calm once run over by this.)
It's a curious feature of the cult that at all costs EVERYONE without exception (even scientific/medical professionals who one might have been counted on to be curious) MUST instantly affirm to a) be loving and supportive rather than evil b) not become estranged from the child forever. Even pediatricians are told they must instantly affirm or you lose the kid. I think that if the parent is calm and does not affirm the child must understand in their bones somewhere that this is nonsense.
Does anyone else notice the intensity of the cult insistence that Affirmation must be instant and complete or else your child will be estranged/commit suicide. Doesn't it lead to estrangement and sometimes suicide to plant that as part of the belief system in these overly impressionable (by nature of being young) minds? "You must run away from loved ones who do not follow our cult!" How can anyone not see this as an unhealthy religious belief system that has gripped our society? Oh, people are cowed. Or, they don't care. Or, they think it will never affect them. Or, they hear a very one sided narrative.
The kids do act like they are out of "Invasion of the Body Snatches".
And, it's as though our entire society has been taken over by Heaven's Gate.
"It does take a little while to regain calm once run over by this." I think this is critically important to understand. And while it may be best to remain calm from the beginning, those of us who didn't must find a way to forgive ourselves and do what we can to repair any damage. I totally trust that my kid knows "in her bones" that this is nonsense and will recognize that consciously at some point. Hopefully before more physical damage is done. This ideology absolutely functions as a dangerous cult and has captured a society made vulnerable imo (recovering school teacher here) by authoritarian systems that rob us of critical thinking and are designed to turn us into unquestioning consumers. With a profit-driven medical establishment, pandering politicians, divisive tech algorithms, and educational institutions that prioritize feelings over facts and reason, it was a perfect storm. But as Patrick Ryan said to Lisa Marchiano, we "are in their heads." Our kids know what we think and we don't need us to constantly remind them. This doesn't mean we "lean into the lies" but rather that we don't become the reason they proceed to hurt themselves (because they're pushing against us.) The recent Wider Lens podcast with Marchiano as a guest is a good one; in it Lisa describes how parents are holding too much of the ambivalence the child feels. They often respond by estranging themselves, thereby cutting off their doubt by cutting us (who represent that doubt) out. I work really hard to ensure my kid knows I'll never throw this back at her and will always be here for her, regardless of her choices. She knows I would never approve of body modification, and it definitely messes with her because I've also told her I'll help her find the best possible doctors to perform the surgeries (of course affirming the oppression in a way by acknowledging that predatory doctors take advantage of people in her situation.) I think what we lean into is our knowledge of our own kids. What is going to be most effective based on their individual needs and the way they process the world? No one knows them like we do, but if we let fear consume us, we' won't navigate this precarious mess very well and we'll drive them into the arms of the glitter mob who gleefully awaits the next bloody sacrifice to the Gender Lord and Savior.
"With a profit-driven medical establishment, pandering politicians, divisive tech algorithms, and educational institutions that prioritize feelings over facts and reason, it was a perfect storm." Exactly
I strongly agree that we are in the heads of our kids.
I found this so interesting: "parents are holding too much of the ambivalence the child feels. They often respond by estranging themselves, thereby cutting off their doubt by cutting us (who represent that doubt) out." Once one regains calm I think it is important not to affirm but also not to give the kids some authoritarian parent figure they can throw themselves against. Love will prevail.
You expressed this so well! The manipulation of suicide is the most insane aspect of all of this and is truly so immoral and unethical, it’s astounding to me that everyone is falling for it!
Sorry, Liz, I know nothing about "platforms" not being a real computer user; however, if you google ROGD USA, will get a form to fill in, and they will connect you to the administrator of the ROGD Canada group. Hope that helps.
The nuclear option was really for my sake. It helped me sustain my internal “over my dead body” stance during escalations of trans ideation or demands for my compliance.
After 3 weeks of collecting information in all directions pros and cons. I was still sure that it was the wrong way to modify your body because you couldn't come to terms with your gender role. It is actually extremely dangerous. The result would at best be the same: my son would have found himself and realized that his body does not define his soul. It took many conversations to make this clear to him. Informed conversations open conversations but I no longer hid my beliefs.
Thank you for the article, that's exactly how I felt for a short time. Luckily I couldn't stay silent. It is also lucky for my son that I rejected my female body for a long time as a teenager and adult. Luckily, I knew that my innermost self had no gender. Gender is the physical part, gender is the social reflection, I is what I make of it. Unfortunately, I had to figure it out on my own at the time, had I been offered the options for gender reassignment back then and for free. I would have run straight in without thinking twice. But I managed it, without therapy. I wanted to help my son and went to a psychologist. She talked to him for 30 minutes, then to us. She immediately confirmed that my son was a woman and had no other psychological problems that did not result from being in the wrong body. When I told her my story, she didn't really want to believe it at first. Thought I was still a cis woman even though I was a tomboy. Then I came up with clownfish?? Hence snails. Ah yes and ring finger/index finger. Conditions (my ring fingers are very long. When I countered, she became more manipulative, spoke of self-harm, self-castration, suicide. She never sent her study certificates that she wanted to send.... She then abruptly stopped the conversation, saying she had it right away the next appointment.
Vielen Dank für den Artikel, genau so ging es mir kurzzeitig. Ich konnte nicht schweigen zum Glück. Auch Glück für meinen Sohn ist, dass ich als Jugendliche und Erwachsene lange meinen weiblichen Körper abgelehnt hatte. So wusste ich zum Glück, das mein innersten Ich kein Geschlecht hat. Geschlecht ist der körperliche Part, Gender ist die Gesellschaftliche Spiegelung, Ich ist das was ich daraus mache. Leider musste ich damals alleine darauf kommen, hätte man mir damals die Optionen zur Geschlechtsangleichung angeboten und das noch dazu umsonst. Wäre ich direkt hinein gerannt ohne lange zu überlegen. Aber es ist mir gelungen, ohne Therapie. Ich wollte meinem Sohn helfen und bin zu einer Psychologin. Diese hat 30 Min. mit ihm geredet, dann mit uns zusammen. Sofort hat sie bestätigt mein Sohn sei eine Frau, habe keine anderen pychischen Probleme, die nicht daraus resultieren, das er im Falschen Körper steckt. Als ich ihr dann meine Geschichte erzählt habe, wollte sie zuerst nicht recht glauben. Meinte ich sei dennoch eine Cis-Frau auch wenn ich Tomboy war. Kam mir dann mit Clownfischen?? Schnecken daher. Ah ja und Ringfinger/ Zeigefinger. Verhältnise ( meine Ringfinger sind sehr lang. Auf meine Gegenrede, wurde sie manipulativer, sprach von Selbstverletzung, Selbstkastration, Selbstmord. Ihre Studiennachweise, die sich schicken wollte hat sie nie geschickt.... Sie brach dann abrupt das Gespräch ab, sie habe gleich den nächsten Termin.
"It’s feeling that the liberal, progressive values you instilled in your children are being used against you in a way you could never have seen coming. It’s disheartening, destabilizing and destructive." Indeed. Once the trans cult took hold of my firstborn, not only did I regret attending a gay marriage rally with him, but his sisters and I all took a hard right. The left has become wicked. Where did all the anti war, bleeding hearts of the 90's go? Now they tell me that if I don't accept the lie that seeks to destroy my child's body, mind, and spirit, If I try to protect him, I am a hateful, bigoted, horrible mother. #walkaway
Thank you for sharing this. I am not a parent. I am an educator. I have little understanding of trans ideology. I am attempting to just listen to people's experiences. I am questioning how "progressive" the progressive movement is when it silences voices like this. I am sorry for you and your child's pain. I wish you freedom from suffering.
Modern progressivism has lost it's way. Progressive liberals (myself was once included here) used to be guided by a morality and love for people and the desire to care for them. It valued a sense of feminine care as well as masculine bravery to stand up to the establishment and want better for the future.
That is gone today. What modern progressive liberals (read: far-left activist types, social justice warriors, TRA's, 4/5th wave radical feminists) value is vengeance. They desire the destruction of all structures they view as 'oppressive' no matter how many people they need to destroy to do so. They are taught 'selective-empathy' to those in-group and brutal and cruel intolerance to those who are out-group. There are collectivist origins there. Post-modern, post structural thought can be seen throughout. They learn to view the world in a strict enemy-ally dichotomy. You can see it in the language and rhetoric of their literature, their stories and embedded into every vitriol-dripping slur they scream at those who don't agree.
They are MUCH more similar to one of the original social justice and feminist movements of the early 1900's - the KKK rather than the Civil Rights movement. Yes, a revolting thought, I know. However that group was motivated by the same types of factors - vengeance against those outside their group, the protection of their 'values' and the villainization of those that were not staunch 'allies'.
Watch the escalation of violence from the illiberal left closely. Most left-aligned people who have been silent in this culture war are now considered 'conservative.' Who would have thought?
Thanks so much for taking the time to share your thinking on this. The thing is the more you attack the thing you hate the more you become it. I pray we can find a way to listen to each other again.
Same. I feel broken to see what has become of the West. The polarization, the breakdown of communication and healthy debate, the loss of a shared sense of direction and purpose - despite political differences. It really felt in the 1990's that we were headed in the right direction - and now everything is upside down.
Thank you for sharing your story. You may already be too late to correct any damage done to your child. Remember, YOU are the parent and you—not the schools, the culture, or the child's peers—are responsible for raising your child. You show great wisdom in what has happened. Keep sharing that with other parents. And FORGIVE yourself for not keeping a closer tab on your child. It's hard, really hard these days. But Parents must do it to save our generation of children.
All the best to you. Peace.
My son has only suggested that he "may" be trans but is bisexual. I have questions about my daughter as well who declared she was gay in middle school but has since claimed she is not. She is 19 now but goes by a "nickname" at college. I have never felt such a loss of control and deep sadness as I have felt with these situations. I definitely blame the internet and anime. I blame myself for being naive. All I can do is pray and try to stay close to my kids as this hopefully passes. Parental Dysphoria is exhausting.
This nearly brought me to tears.
When my oldest transitioned, they *literally* chose new legal name from the Marvel Universe. They were not permitted the surname by the court because it was trademarked. This is not an exaggeration. It is *literally* reality.
At the same time, I feel the writer's grief. Their anger. Their agony. Their struggle. That's real too.
💔
Parental dysphoria is so mentally heart breaking! I nearly lost my 9 yr old daughter, I put up the biggest fight and never gave up, it wasn’t easy, but I now have her back under my wing…
Reading this like I could've wrote this myself… yet I couldn’t have wrote it as perfectly put as this. “Changing their name that likely gets its origin from Pokémon instead of the family heritage” was spot on, as it’s exactly what our children are doing with online indoctrination stuff they watch!! 😣
Exactly
That is spot on.
I could have written so much of this myself, but I have to say, I reject the notion that I have "Parental Dysphoria." My kiddo and I are having parallel experiences, so I will choose to trust myself as a parent and model using difficult things to help me grow, grace in suffering, radical self-love and acceptance, continuous awe and wonder in this rich life we all get to experience, and I will also trust that my kid will one day embrace the awe-inspiring state that is womanhood on a planet that is filled with LIFE that only females can birth into it.
With that said, it took awhile to recover from the initial fear of our situation, the good fortune of working with a really good therapist, and it continues to take conscious effort to not let fear overtake my resolve. Let's use this community as a way to bolster ourselves as we model what womanhood really is for both our girls and our boys. Let's remind through our example, that our girls want it for themselves, and our boys want to protect the integrity of it--because it is sacred! We are powerful and they don't get to take this from us--this IS in our control.
Say more! Please - we need more support in this community of parents who never expected to be here …
Our children are individuating during a time when this normal teenage process has become precarious, especially for the quirky, sensitive kid who struggles to fit in and discovers "transgender" as an avatar, a character they get to develop then hide behind. They live in a world where misogyny seems rampant and everything is pornified. And who would want to grow up and become a "Karen"?! We need to make womanhood more attractive, and the only way to do that is to figure out our own shit. We can use this as a wake-up call to get our own lives in order. My child has managed to trigger strong emotional responses (even rage on occasion) from me throughout this “trans journey” she’s decided to embark on, and each time, I reinforce what the world is telling her about me: that I’m not fit to parent a trans child. Deep down she knows better. She knows that I know and love her better than anyone else could for the sheer fact that she’s my daughter. And, I trust my kid. She’s brilliant and determined, and one day, she’ll see through all the b.s. This really shook me to my core, and for a time, my parenting confidence plummeted–and it showed. Both she and I saw a dark side of me neither of us knew existed. And that’s okay too. I modeled (and keep modeling) being a flawed human. Then I model relationship repair by apologizing for what I can take genuine responsibility for. I’m a good mom. You’re a good mom. So how do we model womanhood in a way our daughters will want for themselves? We need to get clear on our own values (this experience has brought crystal clarity to mine) and we create satisfying and meaningful lives for ourselves by being in alignment with those values. We don’t let this wreck us–martyrdom isn’t attractive; we do the opposite and let this reflect back to us where we need to keep growing. And we trust. Ourselves AND our kids–if we hang out in fear, we not only damage the relationship by communicating that we don’t trust them, but we also demonstrate a very unappealing version of womanhood. Stay attuned to our children (which I believe can only happen in healthy way if we’re also tuned into ourselves) and seize and savor all moments of connection, AND have boundaries around our own quality of life. Model gratitude and joy. Does this make sense? Thank you for wanting to hear this. I want to say more because I think this is so important! I’ve said some in my responses to the comments on My Daughter (early December PITT.) Stoic principles and the Serenity Prayer have helped me tremendously. Pay attention to our energy. Are we operating out of trust or fear? 90% of people who join cults, leave them. I trust my kid is going to be one of those 90%. Might take longer than I hope for, but it will happen. One day, she’ll be a woman to be reckoned with. Through my lens, she already is.
My view is that "leaning into the lie" as a parent is the worst thing we could do. We may have to be a little quiet and we do need to be calm but we parents might be the only ones in our child's lives not to gas light them. (It does take a little while to regain calm once run over by this.)
It's a curious feature of the cult that at all costs EVERYONE without exception (even scientific/medical professionals who one might have been counted on to be curious) MUST instantly affirm to a) be loving and supportive rather than evil b) not become estranged from the child forever. Even pediatricians are told they must instantly affirm or you lose the kid. I think that if the parent is calm and does not affirm the child must understand in their bones somewhere that this is nonsense.
Does anyone else notice the intensity of the cult insistence that Affirmation must be instant and complete or else your child will be estranged/commit suicide. Doesn't it lead to estrangement and sometimes suicide to plant that as part of the belief system in these overly impressionable (by nature of being young) minds? "You must run away from loved ones who do not follow our cult!" How can anyone not see this as an unhealthy religious belief system that has gripped our society? Oh, people are cowed. Or, they don't care. Or, they think it will never affect them. Or, they hear a very one sided narrative.
The kids do act like they are out of "Invasion of the Body Snatches".
And, it's as though our entire society has been taken over by Heaven's Gate.
"It does take a little while to regain calm once run over by this." I think this is critically important to understand. And while it may be best to remain calm from the beginning, those of us who didn't must find a way to forgive ourselves and do what we can to repair any damage. I totally trust that my kid knows "in her bones" that this is nonsense and will recognize that consciously at some point. Hopefully before more physical damage is done. This ideology absolutely functions as a dangerous cult and has captured a society made vulnerable imo (recovering school teacher here) by authoritarian systems that rob us of critical thinking and are designed to turn us into unquestioning consumers. With a profit-driven medical establishment, pandering politicians, divisive tech algorithms, and educational institutions that prioritize feelings over facts and reason, it was a perfect storm. But as Patrick Ryan said to Lisa Marchiano, we "are in their heads." Our kids know what we think and we don't need us to constantly remind them. This doesn't mean we "lean into the lies" but rather that we don't become the reason they proceed to hurt themselves (because they're pushing against us.) The recent Wider Lens podcast with Marchiano as a guest is a good one; in it Lisa describes how parents are holding too much of the ambivalence the child feels. They often respond by estranging themselves, thereby cutting off their doubt by cutting us (who represent that doubt) out. I work really hard to ensure my kid knows I'll never throw this back at her and will always be here for her, regardless of her choices. She knows I would never approve of body modification, and it definitely messes with her because I've also told her I'll help her find the best possible doctors to perform the surgeries (of course affirming the oppression in a way by acknowledging that predatory doctors take advantage of people in her situation.) I think what we lean into is our knowledge of our own kids. What is going to be most effective based on their individual needs and the way they process the world? No one knows them like we do, but if we let fear consume us, we' won't navigate this precarious mess very well and we'll drive them into the arms of the glitter mob who gleefully awaits the next bloody sacrifice to the Gender Lord and Savior.
"With a profit-driven medical establishment, pandering politicians, divisive tech algorithms, and educational institutions that prioritize feelings over facts and reason, it was a perfect storm." Exactly
I strongly agree that we are in the heads of our kids.
I found this so interesting: "parents are holding too much of the ambivalence the child feels. They often respond by estranging themselves, thereby cutting off their doubt by cutting us (who represent that doubt) out." Once one regains calm I think it is important not to affirm but also not to give the kids some authoritarian parent figure they can throw themselves against. Love will prevail.
You expressed this so well! The manipulation of suicide is the most insane aspect of all of this and is truly so immoral and unethical, it’s astounding to me that everyone is falling for it!
Sorry, Liz, I know nothing about "platforms" not being a real computer user; however, if you google ROGD USA, will get a form to fill in, and they will connect you to the administrator of the ROGD Canada group. Hope that helps.
The nuclear option was really for my sake. It helped me sustain my internal “over my dead body” stance during escalations of trans ideation or demands for my compliance.
? Nuclear? Plz explain?
A kind of ultimate solution if medicalization starts to become inevitable. Mine was to remove her from the US before the age of consent.
Where did u go?
Can’t really say. That would “out” me. It was in the former USSR.