You sound incredibly resilient in the face of such terrible losses but I realize your devastation. Like you I have lost two children, while my eldest remains grounded. My eldest daughter is incredibly unpleasant.
Thank you for sharing your story. You are not alone. My family is torn to shreds from this ideology and instead of feeling joy and hope I’m depressed reading about this acceptance taking place all over the world. It canceling women. We no longer have our own safe spaces and sports leagues. We just need to put our heads down and accept it all. A very sad time.
I now am leaning into God and have thoughts that maybe this is the silver lining. This has definitely fanned the flame of faith in my life. And I can’t help but think of the biblical stories like Abraham sacrificing his son and David and Goliath and of course the Prodigal Son. What we are living will be our personal testimony and one day we will have our story to tell that turned our children back to their family, faith and the truth!
Yes, we can all relate to the father of the prodigal who was always watching and waiting, faithful until his son returned. Our stories right now are so sad but they are not over yet.
My deepest sympathy for your situation. You must grieve for your children, but don’t accept the madness. 2+2 doesn’t equal 5, no matter how much you want it to! Someday, perhaps, the madness will pass, and then you’ll be reunited.
Yes, they say they are "lesbians". I want to tell them it's okay to be gay men, which is what they are. If I say those words out loud to them, I'm sure I will be cut off. So, I do my best to preserve the relationship with my son without calling him my daughter, them girls, or telling them how brave and beautiful they are--because none of that is true.
Thank you for sharing. From the small things you said about your upbringing, how you raised your children, and you church activity, I believe that you and I are probably members of the same church. I too raised my 4 children in a similar manner. I have one girl and 3 boys. My daughter, who is my oldest, started out saying she was “bi” when she was 14, started hanging out with likeminded peers, and by the time she was 17 decided she was really a boy. She went to planned parenthood when she was 18 abd started taking T. I don’t think she’s on it anymore, but her voice is permanently changed (she used to have a beautiful singing voice!). She was a beautiful violinist and now she has probably sold her very expensive violin to make ends meet. She can’t hold a job. She’s almost 22 now and lives in a very progressive town with 3 other trans kids (all FTM). Her “boyfriend” is also a female. We communicate, and I just don’t address the trans issues.
My faith in God has kept me going. I do believe that families are eternal, but what that looks like on the other side, I won’t know until we get there. But i know that God loves His children even more than we do, and He will be kind, forgiving, and just, when the time comes.
Keep being strong. Keep living the standards you have set in your life. And keep praying for your children. Pray for yourself and your husband to feel peace and joy, despite these challenges. It will all work out in the end ❤️
My heart hurt when I read about your daughter. I believe you are right. God loves his children more than we can comprehend and this burden is too heavy to carry on our own. I am leaving it in his hands.
Truly. I heard statistics of having two children caught up in this is one in 9 million. But there are so many parents on this Substack who are in the same nightmare that it seems more common than you think.
Hi Linda D, It has been a rollercoaster. I'm always hoping to get the call saying he has changed his mind, but so far it has not happened. He is very happy with his transwoman partner, so there's that.
I do not believe two "transwoman" together are "very happy" My son would claim this fiction, too , and that they are "lesbians" (two men with penises!) Two people clinging to each other in the cult just stave off facing reality and support each other's dysfunctional, diminished life fueled by their delusions and anyone encouraging this awful path.
You have good points! I found him a therapist who I thought would be balanced, but he never had time to go. Being estranged has its advantages. I am blocked from my son's Instagram because I made to many comments to him (not on his account). It's better that I don't witness the tragedy on a daily basis. He does send us photos every now and then hoping we will tell him he looks totally different and like a beautiful women. He looks like he's dressed up for Halloween. I tell him my opinion doesn't matter.
From your story, it sounds like you have a solid attachment with all of your children including the two currently identifying as trans. That attachment will never go away, even if one or both of them claim it’s not there or never existed at all. I hope that you can find space every day to remind yourself of that. They can also be reminded of that with simple yet consistent words and actions. When the glitter family fades or disappoints, guess who will still be there, persistent with her unconditional love. The powerful attachment will be there, and they will feel it too. I hope you continue to be strong and steadfast.
My intentions on sharing my story was not to pit those who are religious or conservative against those who are non believers or progressive. I included this part of our lives in my story because someone made a comment on an earlier story I read several weeks ago that I had an issue with. She said she didn’t think this happened in families with two parent households who are strong in their faith. She was wanting to conduct a survey or do research on which families this happens to. I believe this happens in all kinds of families and I believe it is the worst kind of evil and we should be offering support and encouragement instead of accusations or judgment. My heart hurts for every parent, grandparent, sibling, etc. who has poured their heart out on this Substack. I don’t care what their background or history is.
I can so relate to your first line here. I have now submitted four posts and prayerfully consider how much to bring in my faith. I am not afraid to share it but want to have respect for this space and those who have created it. This is such a rare and remarkable place. I greatly value all contributors and how it has been a confirmation of so much.
I don’t think I have ever felt so vulnerable as I have in writing my story. I wondered if I might be mocked because of my faith but I am used to that. I just didn’t anticipate the persecution would come from someone of my faith, but I don’t regret putting my heart out there. Many others are sharing their pain and I love and grieve with them.
As we already know, the enemy knows how to hit where it hurts most. I shared at our church a Sunday ago and I got attacked where I least expected it as well. There were many blessings in your telling. Thanks for taking the bold step. I pray it provides healing for you too.
I read an article somewhere that this is happening to white middle class families regardless of political affiliation. Which make sense because that is the type of families that the alphabet army wants to break. I also read 90% are girls so they wouldn’t be able to procreate into more white middle class families.
I suppose if folks can blame parents, or those religious or not religious, they can feel somehow like it won't happen to them. I appreciate you being so candid and vulnerable here. I stand with you. This is the most difficult experience of my life. We miss our kids so much. No one saw this coming and no one really knows what to do. Heart wrenching.
Your story is heartbreaking as is mine. Thank you for sharing. I am so tired of the politicization of every single thing. It divides us when we need to be united. I can’t help but believing that it is deliberate. If we are at odds over politics and religion we can’t fight together to protect our kids. You writing this piece was so important in bringing us together.
Yes, evil thrives in distraction, confusion, disunity and chaos. Those are it's favourite manipulative tools. It makes it easier to weaken in order to breakdown resistence and then destroy.
Your story brought tears to my eyes. I am right there with you going through this insanity with my daughter. God be with you b/c He is the only one getting me through this ordeal.
Parents need to stop sending their kids off to school hoping this won't happen. Stay away from Coastal schools! My family member was captured at her University.
Universities play a massive role via their teaching, policies and enforcement of their rules as well as the political advertising and marketing to support the ideology as part of faux 'inclusiveness' (guilt-tripping) and, of course, the many lgbTq+ associations and clubs that recruit students into the ideology.
Universities literally create 'a bubble' of echo chamber thinking.
Oh my gosh this is such a sad and heartbreaking story. Absolutely both of your kids were stolen. I’m
So sorry
You sound incredibly resilient in the face of such terrible losses but I realize your devastation. Like you I have lost two children, while my eldest remains grounded. My eldest daughter is incredibly unpleasant.
Thank you for sharing your story. You are not alone. My family is torn to shreds from this ideology and instead of feeling joy and hope I’m depressed reading about this acceptance taking place all over the world. It canceling women. We no longer have our own safe spaces and sports leagues. We just need to put our heads down and accept it all. A very sad time.
I now am leaning into God and have thoughts that maybe this is the silver lining. This has definitely fanned the flame of faith in my life. And I can’t help but think of the biblical stories like Abraham sacrificing his son and David and Goliath and of course the Prodigal Son. What we are living will be our personal testimony and one day we will have our story to tell that turned our children back to their family, faith and the truth!
Yes, we can all relate to the father of the prodigal who was always watching and waiting, faithful until his son returned. Our stories right now are so sad but they are not over yet.
My deepest sympathy for your situation. You must grieve for your children, but don’t accept the madness. 2+2 doesn’t equal 5, no matter how much you want it to! Someday, perhaps, the madness will pass, and then you’ll be reunited.
Thank you, I will never accept this madness. My feet are planted on the side of truth.
Yes, they say they are "lesbians". I want to tell them it's okay to be gay men, which is what they are. If I say those words out loud to them, I'm sure I will be cut off. So, I do my best to preserve the relationship with my son without calling him my daughter, them girls, or telling them how brave and beautiful they are--because none of that is true.
Thank you for sharing. From the small things you said about your upbringing, how you raised your children, and you church activity, I believe that you and I are probably members of the same church. I too raised my 4 children in a similar manner. I have one girl and 3 boys. My daughter, who is my oldest, started out saying she was “bi” when she was 14, started hanging out with likeminded peers, and by the time she was 17 decided she was really a boy. She went to planned parenthood when she was 18 abd started taking T. I don’t think she’s on it anymore, but her voice is permanently changed (she used to have a beautiful singing voice!). She was a beautiful violinist and now she has probably sold her very expensive violin to make ends meet. She can’t hold a job. She’s almost 22 now and lives in a very progressive town with 3 other trans kids (all FTM). Her “boyfriend” is also a female. We communicate, and I just don’t address the trans issues.
My faith in God has kept me going. I do believe that families are eternal, but what that looks like on the other side, I won’t know until we get there. But i know that God loves His children even more than we do, and He will be kind, forgiving, and just, when the time comes.
Keep being strong. Keep living the standards you have set in your life. And keep praying for your children. Pray for yourself and your husband to feel peace and joy, despite these challenges. It will all work out in the end ❤️
My heart hurt when I read about your daughter. I believe you are right. God loves his children more than we can comprehend and this burden is too heavy to carry on our own. I am leaving it in his hands.
Thank you for sharing. My heart breaks for you.
Thank you so much, Mary.
I am so sad for you. I have lost one - but two? It's just heart breaking .
Truly. I heard statistics of having two children caught up in this is one in 9 million. But there are so many parents on this Substack who are in the same nightmare that it seems more common than you think.
Hi Linda D, It has been a rollercoaster. I'm always hoping to get the call saying he has changed his mind, but so far it has not happened. He is very happy with his transwoman partner, so there's that.
I’m so sorry, Christine. I pray you get your son back soon.
I do not believe two "transwoman" together are "very happy" My son would claim this fiction, too , and that they are "lesbians" (two men with penises!) Two people clinging to each other in the cult just stave off facing reality and support each other's dysfunctional, diminished life fueled by their delusions and anyone encouraging this awful path.
You have good points! I found him a therapist who I thought would be balanced, but he never had time to go. Being estranged has its advantages. I am blocked from my son's Instagram because I made to many comments to him (not on his account). It's better that I don't witness the tragedy on a daily basis. He does send us photos every now and then hoping we will tell him he looks totally different and like a beautiful women. He looks like he's dressed up for Halloween. I tell him my opinion doesn't matter.
My heart hurts for you I can imagine, (only a pale shadow though) your feelings. God bless you all, this is so wicked.
I’m so sorry
From your story, it sounds like you have a solid attachment with all of your children including the two currently identifying as trans. That attachment will never go away, even if one or both of them claim it’s not there or never existed at all. I hope that you can find space every day to remind yourself of that. They can also be reminded of that with simple yet consistent words and actions. When the glitter family fades or disappoints, guess who will still be there, persistent with her unconditional love. The powerful attachment will be there, and they will feel it too. I hope you continue to be strong and steadfast.
I will, CA mom. Thank you for your sweet words of encouragement. This is the outcome I hope and pray for.
My intentions on sharing my story was not to pit those who are religious or conservative against those who are non believers or progressive. I included this part of our lives in my story because someone made a comment on an earlier story I read several weeks ago that I had an issue with. She said she didn’t think this happened in families with two parent households who are strong in their faith. She was wanting to conduct a survey or do research on which families this happens to. I believe this happens in all kinds of families and I believe it is the worst kind of evil and we should be offering support and encouragement instead of accusations or judgment. My heart hurts for every parent, grandparent, sibling, etc. who has poured their heart out on this Substack. I don’t care what their background or history is.
I can so relate to your first line here. I have now submitted four posts and prayerfully consider how much to bring in my faith. I am not afraid to share it but want to have respect for this space and those who have created it. This is such a rare and remarkable place. I greatly value all contributors and how it has been a confirmation of so much.
I don’t think I have ever felt so vulnerable as I have in writing my story. I wondered if I might be mocked because of my faith but I am used to that. I just didn’t anticipate the persecution would come from someone of my faith, but I don’t regret putting my heart out there. Many others are sharing their pain and I love and grieve with them.
As we already know, the enemy knows how to hit where it hurts most. I shared at our church a Sunday ago and I got attacked where I least expected it as well. There were many blessings in your telling. Thanks for taking the bold step. I pray it provides healing for you too.
I read an article somewhere that this is happening to white middle class families regardless of political affiliation. Which make sense because that is the type of families that the alphabet army wants to break. I also read 90% are girls so they wouldn’t be able to procreate into more white middle class families.
I suppose if folks can blame parents, or those religious or not religious, they can feel somehow like it won't happen to them. I appreciate you being so candid and vulnerable here. I stand with you. This is the most difficult experience of my life. We miss our kids so much. No one saw this coming and no one really knows what to do. Heart wrenching.
Your story is heartbreaking as is mine. Thank you for sharing. I am so tired of the politicization of every single thing. It divides us when we need to be united. I can’t help but believing that it is deliberate. If we are at odds over politics and religion we can’t fight together to protect our kids. You writing this piece was so important in bringing us together.
Yes, evil thrives in distraction, confusion, disunity and chaos. Those are it's favourite manipulative tools. It makes it easier to weaken in order to breakdown resistence and then destroy.
Your story brought tears to my eyes. I am right there with you going through this insanity with my daughter. God be with you b/c He is the only one getting me through this ordeal.
Parents need to stop sending their kids off to school hoping this won't happen. Stay away from Coastal schools! My family member was captured at her University.
Universities play a massive role via their teaching, policies and enforcement of their rules as well as the political advertising and marketing to support the ideology as part of faux 'inclusiveness' (guilt-tripping) and, of course, the many lgbTq+ associations and clubs that recruit students into the ideology.
Universities literally create 'a bubble' of echo chamber thinking.