The state of Minnesota used Child Protective Services to take my child away from me and place her in foster care - all because we wouldn’t affirm her trans identity.
Those "all our welcome here" signs are so disingenuous. If they think you're a transphobe you get kicked to the curb. You are not welcome to disagree with these progressive purists.
Your family's story is a wonderful ray of light -- thank you for sharing it. We also chose not to affirm our daughter's delusion, and have lived through about eight years of hate and recrimination from her as a result. She is now 22, and has lightened up a lot on the "I'm trans and you're a bigot who doesn't accept me" rhetoric. She also chose recently to go off the testosterone for health reasons, though still insists she is "trans". I continue to pray every day that she will eventually conclude that the body she was born with is just fine, but for now I am grateful for how far she has come. They really do change and mature a lot in their twenties . . .
My supportive ear to you. My son turned trans here in central MN after the disembodied fantastical horror lockdown and then starting school at a prominent Catholic school where he met his first trans. A year later he decided he was one. I suspect that if he had not come off age, he would have advocated himself to be removed from me after I refused to support medicalization (while also quietly just never using names and pronouns, taking refuge in I and You).
Interestingly, before he went trans, I spent less than a year working in the family court as a gal. I remember a family in which the mother was refusing to give the father his parenting time for a pretty young child. Mom said the boy wanted to be a girl and that dad was abusive for not affirming and physically, and this justified her actions. When I spoke with the boy alone (and yes, I would personally not want a stranger speaking alone with my child), he seemed credible and sincere, saying that mommy wouldn't listen.
MN has moved to make gender identity a civil rights issue, which is then a fulcrum to justify action against non affirming families and parents. The family courts have been explicitly directed to consider gender identity in decisions. The Best Interests of the Child already are often not carefully considered and instead serve to support the existence of a massive grey cloud over the family court decision making process. Family court does not have the same evidentiary standards as other courts. From one judge to another, and depending on the many professionals brought in to the process, outcomes vary so greatly as to make the integrity of its institution quite a hollow one.
I am sorry you had to go through that. It should not be that way.
Because of my experience, I have supported a few families organize their evidence and prepare themselves to represent their story, though not related to the gender identity issue. If I had known you, I would would have offered to support you, at the very least as a parent with some similar experiences.
Thank you for writing. Maybe I will sometime. My thoughts and feelings about my experience keep changing over time...
Yes, this is a big part of the problem. I tried to find a therapist for myself that was non affirming . I was told by one that they all are because that is what their association tells them to do
Sick of this Solomon Ash experiment they are forcing us to play! This is such BS and these porn fueled male perverts can go to hell. We need laws protecting us from them!
The Asch conformity experiments, conducted in the 1950s by psychologist Solomon Asch, demonstrated the power of group pressure on individual judgment. In the famous line-judgment task, a real participant was placed in a group with actors (confederates) who unanimously and incorrectly identified the length of lines, leading the participant to conform to the wrong answer in a significant portion of trials. The experiments highlighted that people are often willing to deny their own perceptions to align with a majority, even when the correct answer is obvious, a phenomenon known as the Asch effect.
How the Experiment Worked
1. The Setup:
A real participant was seated in a room with several confederates, who were pretending to be other participants.
2. The Task:
Participants were shown a reference line and three other lines, then asked to identify which of the three lines was the same length as the reference line.
3. The Deception:
The real participant answered last, after hearing all the confederates give the same, incorrect answer.
4. The Pressure:
The goal was to see if the real participant would ignore their own correct judgment and conform to the wrong answer provided by the majority.
Key Findings
Conformity Rate:
On average, participants conformed to the incorrect group consensus about one-third of the time.
Vulnerability:
A high percentage (about 75%) of participants conformed to the wrong answer at least once.
Informational vs. Normative Influence:
Participants sometimes conformed because they doubted their own judgment (informational social influence) or because they wanted to be accepted and avoid conflict with the group (normative social influence).
Factors Influencing Conformity
Group Size:
Conformity increased with the size of the majority, but the effect leveled off after about four confederates.
Unanimity:
The presence of even one dissenting confederate (giving a different answer) significantly reduced the participant's tendency to conform.
Privacy:
When participants wrote their answers down privately rather than saying them aloud, the conformity rate dropped sharply.
Significance
The Asch experiments revealed the powerful influence of social pressure and the human tendency to conform, even when faced with clear evidence to the contrary. They raised questions about individual autonomy versus social cohesion and remain a fundamental illustration of group dynamics in psychology.
Just a reminder: in Minnesota, the therapy gag order (aka "conversion therapy ban) means therapists are forced to "affirm" gender confusion. Asking any type of skeptical question or cautious approach is illegal. This mom did GREAT!!!
And so many therapists who actively say they work with gender issues are actively affirming. I went on a FB group for trans a few years ago when my son decided he was a girl. There were many posts offering help to get the therapist letter within twenty minutes, as they do not believe in "gate-keeping". MN also let's kids get sexual medical care without parental knowledge. This includes trans?
THIS!!! 100%!! Thank you for your commitment to truth!! May many wonderful blessings fill your life here on out to soften the hurts inflicted by the trans ideology cult! I’m waiting for my granddaughter to come to the point of realization! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
"Not affirming is really, really hard at first, and you will feel like a failure as your child rails against you. But then, something clicks, and they settle down......"
I know exactly what it feels at first, so many tears, fear and grief, however, your experience gives me hope and I thank God for you having your beloved child back. Thank you for sharing.
Good for you for standing on the side of truth and not giving in. My son was an adult when this started, living out of state and he cut all financial ties. Unfortunately I haven’t heard from him in close to 4 years. Blocked on phone and social media. I do have a physical address and occasionally send a card without a name or pronoun.
I’m delighted that you have your daughter back. Hopefully, one day the people of Minnesota and other states will say enough to this drivel, and vote the enablers out. Until then, sadly, we’ll hear these stories over and over.
Great story! Great parents! Great kid! So sorry you all went through this, but it is so important to share, especially now that she is firmly standing on her own two feet.
Thank you for sharing this encouraging story! I'm a therapist & see firsthand how awful this experience is for families and parents. What you mention at the end, about treatment centers contributing to the brainwashing, is something that has been very frustrating for me. A few times I have wanted to suggest treatment centers for teens, and it was a very tough recommendation to make since most residential treatment centers, PHPs & IOPs are continuing to display all of that paraphernalia, and play the pronoun game. Ugh!
I wish there were more of us, but I’m hopeful that more therapists and other providers are waking up. Parents need to stay firm, & be very discerning when choosing a therapist. Try to avoid therapists who went through grad school the last 8 years.
This is so worrying to me. Would that apply to psych students too? My son graduated from a bachelors degree a year ago & has cut me off for not going along with gender woo. His brother is trans ID’d & had cut me off first years before
I’m so sorry, how awful! Most higher ed has been infused with progressive ideology across the board. It’s the water they swim in, & unless they have been “inoculated” against it beforehand, hard to detect or resist.
Those "all our welcome here" signs are so disingenuous. If they think you're a transphobe you get kicked to the curb. You are not welcome to disagree with these progressive purists.
Your family's story is a wonderful ray of light -- thank you for sharing it. We also chose not to affirm our daughter's delusion, and have lived through about eight years of hate and recrimination from her as a result. She is now 22, and has lightened up a lot on the "I'm trans and you're a bigot who doesn't accept me" rhetoric. She also chose recently to go off the testosterone for health reasons, though still insists she is "trans". I continue to pray every day that she will eventually conclude that the body she was born with is just fine, but for now I am grateful for how far she has come. They really do change and mature a lot in their twenties . . .
My supportive ear to you. My son turned trans here in central MN after the disembodied fantastical horror lockdown and then starting school at a prominent Catholic school where he met his first trans. A year later he decided he was one. I suspect that if he had not come off age, he would have advocated himself to be removed from me after I refused to support medicalization (while also quietly just never using names and pronouns, taking refuge in I and You).
Interestingly, before he went trans, I spent less than a year working in the family court as a gal. I remember a family in which the mother was refusing to give the father his parenting time for a pretty young child. Mom said the boy wanted to be a girl and that dad was abusive for not affirming and physically, and this justified her actions. When I spoke with the boy alone (and yes, I would personally not want a stranger speaking alone with my child), he seemed credible and sincere, saying that mommy wouldn't listen.
MN has moved to make gender identity a civil rights issue, which is then a fulcrum to justify action against non affirming families and parents. The family courts have been explicitly directed to consider gender identity in decisions. The Best Interests of the Child already are often not carefully considered and instead serve to support the existence of a massive grey cloud over the family court decision making process. Family court does not have the same evidentiary standards as other courts. From one judge to another, and depending on the many professionals brought in to the process, outcomes vary so greatly as to make the integrity of its institution quite a hollow one.
I am sorry you had to go through that. It should not be that way.
Because of my experience, I have supported a few families organize their evidence and prepare themselves to represent their story, though not related to the gender identity issue. If I had known you, I would would have offered to support you, at the very least as a parent with some similar experiences.
Thank you for writing. Maybe I will sometime. My thoughts and feelings about my experience keep changing over time...
Yes, this is a big part of the problem. I tried to find a therapist for myself that was non affirming . I was told by one that they all are because that is what their association tells them to do
Great piece especially in light of the Minneapolis killings. Thanks.
Have cross posted
https://dustymasterson.substack.com/p/airplane-get-a-hold-of-yourself-part-895
Dusty
Sick of this Solomon Ash experiment they are forcing us to play! This is such BS and these porn fueled male perverts can go to hell. We need laws protecting us from them!
The Asch conformity experiments, conducted in the 1950s by psychologist Solomon Asch, demonstrated the power of group pressure on individual judgment. In the famous line-judgment task, a real participant was placed in a group with actors (confederates) who unanimously and incorrectly identified the length of lines, leading the participant to conform to the wrong answer in a significant portion of trials. The experiments highlighted that people are often willing to deny their own perceptions to align with a majority, even when the correct answer is obvious, a phenomenon known as the Asch effect.
How the Experiment Worked
1. The Setup:
A real participant was seated in a room with several confederates, who were pretending to be other participants.
2. The Task:
Participants were shown a reference line and three other lines, then asked to identify which of the three lines was the same length as the reference line.
3. The Deception:
The real participant answered last, after hearing all the confederates give the same, incorrect answer.
4. The Pressure:
The goal was to see if the real participant would ignore their own correct judgment and conform to the wrong answer provided by the majority.
Key Findings
Conformity Rate:
On average, participants conformed to the incorrect group consensus about one-third of the time.
Vulnerability:
A high percentage (about 75%) of participants conformed to the wrong answer at least once.
Informational vs. Normative Influence:
Participants sometimes conformed because they doubted their own judgment (informational social influence) or because they wanted to be accepted and avoid conflict with the group (normative social influence).
Factors Influencing Conformity
Group Size:
Conformity increased with the size of the majority, but the effect leveled off after about four confederates.
Unanimity:
The presence of even one dissenting confederate (giving a different answer) significantly reduced the participant's tendency to conform.
Privacy:
When participants wrote their answers down privately rather than saying them aloud, the conformity rate dropped sharply.
Significance
The Asch experiments revealed the powerful influence of social pressure and the human tendency to conform, even when faced with clear evidence to the contrary. They raised questions about individual autonomy versus social cohesion and remain a fundamental illustration of group dynamics in psychology.
Big fat NOPE
you people have lost your f***ing god damned minds
Not my kid
this is what i’m putting on a sign when i go to the APA conference in Denver
Great story. Thank you for posting it.
Your sentence about not affirming, then something clicks and they settle down resonated with me. It’s like a toddler fighting so hard not to sleep.
Just a reminder: in Minnesota, the therapy gag order (aka "conversion therapy ban) means therapists are forced to "affirm" gender confusion. Asking any type of skeptical question or cautious approach is illegal. This mom did GREAT!!!
And so many therapists who actively say they work with gender issues are actively affirming. I went on a FB group for trans a few years ago when my son decided he was a girl. There were many posts offering help to get the therapist letter within twenty minutes, as they do not believe in "gate-keeping". MN also let's kids get sexual medical care without parental knowledge. This includes trans?
I am in central MN. Always interested to meet someone around this issue, since I know no one.
THIS!!! 100%!! Thank you for your commitment to truth!! May many wonderful blessings fill your life here on out to soften the hurts inflicted by the trans ideology cult! I’m waiting for my granddaughter to come to the point of realization! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
"Not affirming is really, really hard at first, and you will feel like a failure as your child rails against you. But then, something clicks, and they settle down......"
I know exactly what it feels at first, so many tears, fear and grief, however, your experience gives me hope and I thank God for you having your beloved child back. Thank you for sharing.
Good for you for standing on the side of truth and not giving in. My son was an adult when this started, living out of state and he cut all financial ties. Unfortunately I haven’t heard from him in close to 4 years. Blocked on phone and social media. I do have a physical address and occasionally send a card without a name or pronoun.
I’m delighted that you have your daughter back. Hopefully, one day the people of Minnesota and other states will say enough to this drivel, and vote the enablers out. Until then, sadly, we’ll hear these stories over and over.
Great story! Great parents! Great kid! So sorry you all went through this, but it is so important to share, especially now that she is firmly standing on her own two feet.
I try so hard not to be as sweary as I used to be, but there is really great comfort in hearing someone just say it:
"They. . .don’t know what the fuck they are talking about."
Thank you for sharing this encouraging story! I'm a therapist & see firsthand how awful this experience is for families and parents. What you mention at the end, about treatment centers contributing to the brainwashing, is something that has been very frustrating for me. A few times I have wanted to suggest treatment centers for teens, and it was a very tough recommendation to make since most residential treatment centers, PHPs & IOPs are continuing to display all of that paraphernalia, and play the pronoun game. Ugh!
It's always encouraging hearing from therapists who understand the harm of affirmative care. Thanks for fighting the battle with us.
I wish there were more of us, but I’m hopeful that more therapists and other providers are waking up. Parents need to stay firm, & be very discerning when choosing a therapist. Try to avoid therapists who went through grad school the last 8 years.
This is so worrying to me. Would that apply to psych students too? My son graduated from a bachelors degree a year ago & has cut me off for not going along with gender woo. His brother is trans ID’d & had cut me off first years before
I’m so sorry, how awful! Most higher ed has been infused with progressive ideology across the board. It’s the water they swim in, & unless they have been “inoculated” against it beforehand, hard to detect or resist.
..& he wanted to become a therapist, I cannot imagine what kind of advice he is being taught to give.
That fits what I’ve been told by a professional in our area, “Don’t trust anyone who has graduated after 2015.”