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Al's avatar

Wow.... I am so sorry you went through this and yes, I see all the similarities. You are right... we may call them cults, which perhaps they are, but more appropriately, they are abusive and controlling relationships where manipulative people use their positions to control others to make them feel better about themselves......

It's very toxic

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T Averitt's avatar

Thank you for your bravery and sharing your story.

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Bev Jo's avatar

Thank you so much for your story. It's so important and I wish everyone could read it.

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Grow Some Labia's avatar

You may be onto something with the weird thing going on with younger people today involving distrust of family. There was an article on Substack about a month ago - and I'd thought I'd saved it but I hadn't, and now I can't find it - written by a young woman who described how her friends were jealous of people who had 'bad parents' they needed to separate from because they were 'toxic'. She noted that the things these kids were dinging their parents for were really stupid, low-key stuff - essential parenting, really. No you may not have that, no you can't do that. I found it extremely disturbing because they would encourage each other to leave their 'toxic homes' and of course it broke the parents' hearts because they'd tried to hard to be good parents. (If anyone told any tales of *real* trauma, like sexual abuse or a parent with a drug or catting around problem, she didn't mention it). It sounded a lot like the way 'trans' kids are lured away from their families whom others convince are 'toxic'. The right wing may have a point that the left is out to destroy the family - I always thought it was conservative crap before and it probably largely was; but now it seems to be the real deal.

I'm glad you got out of it, I hope you feel better eventually. You still have your whole life ahead of you.

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Harold Masters's avatar

This is frighteningly similar to how my daughter describes her four years in professional school - she's a veterinarian and attended one of the best in the USA. To this day she still has nightmares several times a month about her time there. Students mocked by clinicians in class and during rotations for asking questions (and not knowing absolutely everything), students sent into situations they weren't prepared for that were potentially dangerous (one girl lost an ear and was found unconscious in a field), dormitory rooms that couldn't be locked and let just anyone enter...I am eternally thankful she got out of there without being assaulted or injured.

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JT's avatar

Good essay, thank you. So many eye-opening, cultish parallels that prey on the malleable minds of young and those who are vulnerable in general .Truly cruel. You have proven yourself resilient; please rely on that self knowledge for future challenges life throws out you. Regarding your political/policy leanings, I hope come November you will not be casual with your vote, that you value your vote, that you be responsible with your vote. How you vote in this election will make a difference in the lives of the most vulnerable among us. Our choice of candidates, at the moment, have massive character flaws. So responsible voters will remove character and personality from their voting decision. Responsible voters will base their vote on policies, not personalities. Candidates that stand behind policies that make sense and are better for my community, my state, & my nation will earn my vote, I value my vote. Candidates who support trans ideology will not get my vote. Trans ideology is destructive at every level of society, the individual level, the family level, the community level, the state level, and national level. There is nothing compassionate about affirming someone is in the wrong body, nothing. You, dear author, are resilient, courageous, and the most vulnerable among us, are counting on you/me/us to vote responsibly.

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MissNancy's avatar

The "big idea," love bombing, isolation, etc. are the hallmarks of a cult. This ballet experience is the perfect metaphor for what's happening to the trans kids. Blind allegiance to the cult leader isn't a bug, it's a feature.

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Nicky J's avatar

Very well written.

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Dave's avatar

With regard to children transitioning. Children can no more "consent" to have their healthy breasts and genitalia removed or take puberty blockers than they can

"consent" to have sex with an adult.

Similarly, parents and doctors can no more approve such permanent mutilation simply because a minor child desires it than they can approve pedophilia.

Ultimately society will see the truth and ban the practice as we have banned female genital mutilation. Do people support that practice if the parents consent? I truly hope not

It is monstrous to believe otherwise and those who do will ultimately be held to account for their actions.

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Notorious P.A.T.'s avatar

Wow! What a story. Thank you for sharing it. It is such a shame that something you loved was turned against you.

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John Moore's avatar

This writer is mature beyond her years.

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Mara U.'s avatar

I’m so sorry you went through this. Kids’ sports need more oversight, especially the highly competitive ones that require enormous time commitments, have a lot of pressure, and put a lot of emphasis on kids’ weight and bodies.

However, it concerns me that you think it should have been a red flag that the coaches were men and didn’t have children. That perspective seems like it has potential to cast suspicion on a lot of gay male dancers who could be perfectly nice guys who don’t deserve it, as well as male dancers who simply happen to not be fathers.

I was single-sex educated from seventh grade through college. I had male teachers I liked and male teachers I didn’t, but none of them were abusive or predatory. My ballet teacher was a married man with five children, and I think he was probably the same kind, gentle person before becoming a father that he was after.

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DLM's avatar

Thank you for posting. This is very interesting and informative. I am so sorry you went through this.

You compared your ballet training to the training of Olympic gymnasts. I recently learned that one of the prominent surgeons who does trans surgery on young people was an Olympic gymnast. At the time I thought “could there be some connection?” She seemed so cold and driven. Perhaps she is identifying with her coaches. I am so glad you found the courage to get out.

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John Moore's avatar

Can you give us the name of this prominent surgeon?

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DLM's avatar

I looked it up Michelle Telfer in Australia. The TV program “Australia Story” did a story on her.

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Luc's avatar

Validation that's a great word to use.

Hopefully the parents will still be there when it all crumbles to pick up the pieces.

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M Zine's avatar

So sorry to hear about your stolen childhood. Your assessment of the centrality in both arenas of driving a wedge between parents and their children is astute. (It's also Rule 1 for Groomers.) But about this: "I am not in any way a conservative or a right-winger. ... My perspective on this issue does not come from some sort of hidden bigotry...."

The fact is that 100% of those in power who are making Trans grooming, Trans drugging, and Trans carving up of healthy young bodies not only possible, but legally required increasingly across the country, are Democrats. (I am rounding up from 99.9% since there are two GOP governors blocking reasonable protections for women and girls from trans cult policies.) Every male rapist put in a women's prison to rape captive women, every teacher and educrat using school rules and state laws to groom elementary (and even preschool) kids, every girl and woman who trained for years or decades (often as hard as you did in dance) to have their athletic victory stolen by a boy or man, every autism-spectrum and otherwise neuro-divergent child being pushed onto the one-way Trans Train, every state promising Trans-activist child kidnappers that they will block parents from retrieving their children while the state lets the stolen kids be drugged and carved up, every indoctrinated minor not told the lifelong reality of life post-Trans drugs and surgeries, and every child cruelly being taught that they may have been born in the "wrong body"/the baby doctor was just "guessing"/drugs and surgeries will magically solve all their problems: all of this is allowed or required because of Democrat laws and bullying. There is not a single issue - none! - in the last 50 years (at least) where the partisan split was/is so stark. Consider: a higher percentage of single black college-educated women voted for Trump than the percentage of Democrat state- and federal-level politicians who vote against Transanity. It is the most peculiar and fast-moving "fundamental transformation" of a nation's laws driven by one political party in memory. The Trans Cult has but one benefactor: powerful Democrats, particular affluent white ones. Yes, some conservatives are, indeed, hidden bigots. But the Democrats waging war via Transanity against innocent women and children are open bigots.

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E. Kathryn Stanley's avatar

Easy to blame Democrats, assuming you are a Republican, but most of us Democrats are NOT on board with radical trans ideology. Even if every Democrat pushed for "trans rights" along with access to "gender affirming care," they could not force the medical industry to go along with their agenda. If you want someone to blame, follow the money!

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George Q Tyrebyter's avatar

The Democratic Party, and Democrats, are the ones pushing the trannie agenda. I don't care if a few Democrats oppose it.

The Big LGBTQ organizations are the ones pushing the trannie agenda. Now, some few LGB say they oppose trannie madness, but I don't care. These organizations and the Democratic Party pushed the trannie agenda.

Every state that is helping trannies is a Democratic State. Every state opposed to trannies is a GOP state. The Democratic party is the party pushing the trannie agenda.

Without the Democratic party to provide cover, the trannie agenda would have been stopped years ago.

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E. Kathryn Stanley's avatar

Well, it’s a lot more complicated than that. Of course you want an easy target to blame, and for you Democrats fit the bill. Never mind that the GOP’s pushback against the trans agenda actually causes more urgency on the part of the progressive left to protect trans rights. I will credit Republicans with raising issues concerning gender affirming care at a time when the far left won’t allow any debate on anything trans related. But the push for bans and restrictions is causing a backlash. Both the left and the right are getting into an ideological battle when what we need is more open debate, more scientific research, and sanity on both sides of the aisle.

Also, there is no “red” or “blue” state. Both political parties are active in each state, and those states that lean left or right may be skewed by many factors, including the age, race and education levels of voters, the percentage of voting age citizens who actually vote, plus the the level of fairness in how voting is conducted (such a the effects of gerrymandering, or biased courts).

And it is far from just a few Democrats who reject the trans agenda. The majority of Americans agree that trans rights activism has gone too far.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/education/2023/05/05/trans-poll-gop-politics-laws/

https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/americans-oppose-inclusion-trans-athletes-sports-poll-finds-rcna88940

Furthermore, you can’t blame Democrats in the US for the trans craze going on in Europe or Canada. Think about it. Nothing is as simple as you want to believe it is.

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Mar 28, 2024Edited
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E. Kathryn Stanley's avatar

When I start saying your style of argumentation is clueless, that your claims are ridiculous, nonsensical and bordering on stupid, and that you're here to disrupt the thinking of normal persons, THEN you'll have a right to call me divisive, pushy and not helpful.

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M Zine's avatar

I wrote "100% of those in power who are making [the Trans agenda] not only possible, but legally required ... are Democrats." And "The Trans Cult has but one benefactor: powerful Democrats...." And I wrote that there are virtually no "Democrat state- and federal-level politicians who vote against Transanity." I am discussing (almost exclusively) elected officials.

Let's follow the money. Since 1998, the American Medical Association has spent almost $500 MILLION lobbying government officials. [Source: New Yorker] Why? Because Congress controls physician reimbursements under Medicare, Medicaid, and the VA, among other issues key to physician pay. Politicians also control billions related to Medical School funding and reimbursements for emergency care provided to the indigent and to illegal immigrants, for example. So when Congress says jump, physicians ask how high. Now, the AMA and Democrat Party are essentially merging. The AMA's PAC first began giving most of its contributions to Dems 18 years ago, and it's been rising since, hitting a record high last year. [Source: Politico] The AMA and Dem platforms are almost identical: pro-Trans-radicalism, anti-Second Amendment, pushing climate change alarmism, supporting race-based discrimination and DEI, claiming "systemic racism" infects America today, anti-child COVID radicalism, and on and on. The AMA is also likely to endorse single-payer in the next couple of years, based on recent AMA House of Delegates voting patterns.

So yes, 100% of the Transanity policies and laws being forced upon Americans are due to Democrat politicians' law-making. If Dems magically lost every federal election in November, the Transanity movement would be entirely gone by February. Conversely, Biden has threatened to cut off (after the election) free and reduced meal funding to every K-12 school in America that doesn't embrace full Transanity, including keeping parents in the dark about schools' grooming their kids, p*n*ses in girls' locker rooms, etc. Even in red states. So the entire Trans regime depends on Democrats winning elections.

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E. Kathryn Stanley's avatar

That's BS. There is a LOT more to the Democratic Party platform than the woke nonsense that makes it way there. See: https://democrats.org/where-we-stand/party-platform/

Do I agree with everything on the platform? No, but I am in favor of most principles and goals associated with the Democratic Party. Most important to me is that Democrats vow to protect our democracy, unlike the MAGA king who couldn't even admit he lost the election.

As for the radical trans agenda, if you think all Democrats are for it, you're delusional.

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M Zine's avatar

(I should not have brought up irrelevant issues in trying to show AMA/Dem issue convergence. It allows distraction, and it lets you avoid irrefutable fact. Sorry for that.)

There are about 50 US Senate Dems. Name one voting against the Trans agenda. That would get the Dem support for this ideology down to 98%, proving me wrong. How about among the 200-some-odd House Dems? Who is opposing the Trans agenda? Can you name one? How about naming four, to get Dem Transanity support down to 98%? You can't do it, even using Google. How about among the roughly 25 Dem Governors? Can you name three opposing Transanity, which would reduce Dem Governor support for the radical Trans agenda below 90%? You cannot. Not just you - no one can. Because every Dem in, or hoping to hold, Federal office (and just about every Dem hoping to achieve election to statewide office), MUST embrace the full anti-family, anti-children, and anti-women Trans agenda. That's not rhetoric, it's fact. And your visible anger and name-calling is what always replaces evidence when there exists no evidence that could refute the truth, which is what creates such cognitive dissonance for people who vote for Dems but understand the crushing cruelty of ROGD and Trans ideology.

There has never been a candidate I supported who voted my way on every issue. (I look askance at people who say they have found people with whom they agree on every issue.) So we must make painful tradeoffs. There are great reasons to vote for some Democrats. By all means vote for them. But you cannot deny reality: every Democrat politician you vote for supports, enables, and strengthens the radical Trans agenda that threatens our children and our entire society.

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Un-silent's avatar

Yes, Democrat controlled Sacramento just voted to make Sacramento the first transgender sanctuary city. They will protect any doctor performing these surgeries on minors.

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Lunafalls's avatar

It's not that "all Democrats" are for it, but that ALL of the people and politicians who ARE for it, are Democrats. That is undeniably accurate.

I hate that this is even politicized, but I don’t see how it can be anything else given the above fact.

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George Q Tyrebyter's avatar

Correct. All those who support trannie madness are Democrats.

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E. Kathryn Stanley's avatar

No, it should not be politicized, but you are participating in politicizing the issue when you call out the Democratic Party. How about blaming the far left, or "progressive" left? I am as opposed to DEI, so-called racial justice and trans rights activism as you are, but I will never vote for Republicans. I'm trying to fight the nonsense in the Democratic Party, but I won't jump ship.

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Lunafalls's avatar

Unfortunately there is no "Progressive" or "Far Left" party to vote against. Our choices are simply "Democrat" and

"Republican". I am one of many Americans who are feeling politically homeless these days. Both parties have gone way off the rails, in different ways.

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George Q Tyrebyter's avatar

You are giving the trannie pimps cover and helping the trannies by your incessant yammering about how Dems are not responsible.

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