FAMILY Dear L & B, We did as you requested and read up on trans ideology. We were surprised and honestly horrified to find how little we knew about the harm being done to children and teens in the name of kindness and acceptance. We now understand why you were so upset about S’s claim of being trans, and we hope you’ll accept our apology for the way we undermined you. We will do whatever we can to support your family through this. We realize going along with S’s insistence on being called “he” was a huge mistake and we know we need to walk that back. If we had just taken the time to listen to you, we wouldn’t have made such a mess of things, and we’re sorry. We hope we can talk together about how we can best help prevent harm to S. We’re here for you.
Not enough words to thank you for these amazing letters. Such brave parents. I was thinking about caving to my nephew, but now im questioning that. I want him to be his very best self.
Thank you very much to the author. I have found these letters to be very therapeutic. I recommend using the audio function. These apologies even if only imaginary have meant a lot to me.
I am of the J.K. Rowling-Jesse Singal-Lisa Selin Davis school on these "trans" issues; deeply skeptical of it in many ways, while recognizing there probably are truly gender dysphoric people, and that for some adults, some kind of transition may alleviate their suffering.
I am also a non-believer, an atheist who prays and meditates every day.
Here's my question:
Given that some families **do** in fact torment or punish children who fall outside the family's preferred "norms," whether it's religious belief (or lack thereof), sexual morality, gender variant behavior (more feminine boys, masculine girls, etc.), how are school officials supposed to gauge whether exposing a child's "trans" (or other) secret may put them in, at least, an untenable position at home?
In general, my view is, parents should be notified of behavioral changes and issues at school. Teachers should not be withholding information from parents, not even on (just) a child's say so that to violate their confidence would cause Harm X, Y or Z.
Yet I am a person who does not in any way approve of parents punishing kids for being themselves, questioning religious tenets, and so on.
How should we resolve the above? Respecful answers appreciated.
I think you are talking about the old 'child protective services' question. Unfortunately there are kids who are abused by their parents and in the 'olden days' teachers were required to consult and refer if they were concerned about a child. Now teachers, who are not trained in these matters, are becoming 'therapists' etc and acting out of their own beliefs and most often not in the best interest of the child. Family reunification is ALWAYS in the best interest of anyone when it is possible and parents are open to understanding harms done. This is no longer, "Sally comes to school with bruises" or 'Jimmy was beaten because parents believe in sparing the rod and spoiling the child. I am a mental health person and have worked with many teachers, most of whom really don't have any idea about child development or family health. They are taught to teach subjects not to intervene in family matters. I am happy to be retired now because I just can't fathom how teachers, and schools, have taken this on. Long ago we walked away from religious indoctrination is schools. This movement is 'faith based'. There is no science behind it that I am aware of and I worked with families, children and adolescents for 30 years. I think the idea that the kids are being punished is made up and part of the story. Parents may be shocked, scared and confused, but that is a far cry from punishing.
Powerful writing. Be prepared to write one from the surgeon.
As part of a grief ritual exercise, I spoke to someone who sat in place of the surgeon who conducted my sex-organ surgeries. As my accusations and tears flowed, I realized forgiveness was within my ability, because the person I've become is who I am meant to be. The same is true for S, no matter what.
Reading the letters you never received was a profound experience. I deeply sympathise with you. Would it be worth sending them to the people concerned?
Good writing. I thought the first two were authentic... Some of us found it uplifting, others depressing. As someone who has hoped for just one of these acknowledgements for too many years, I've realized there is a greater chance of my son returning to himself than any of these folkers ever apologizing.
Brilliant. Thank you, actually, for sharing the things you said to the therapists because I am in the process of waiting to hear back from an old one and trying to demand a family session with a new one. Not holding my breath but I like to have language to arm myself, just in case. Our daughter is 21, so it sounds similar.
I can only imagine the relief and qffi mation it would bring to receive these letters as a parent. My heart hurts for y'all. I'm thinking about how I can use your words of pain to reach others. Thank you for your your vulnerability. Hang in there!
Not enough words to thank you for these amazing letters. Such brave parents. I was thinking about caving to my nephew, but now im questioning that. I want him to be his very best self.
You’ve nailed it. The loss, grief and silencing is compounded by all those letters we have never received.
Oh no! - https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/amc-cancels-anti-transgender-documentary-after-backlash/ar-AA1cKQFq?li=BBnbcA1
Is there another way to watch it?
Found it! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhU24k939ys
The video is no longer available - the Yt account has been terminated.
Thank you very much to the author. I have found these letters to be very therapeutic. I recommend using the audio function. These apologies even if only imaginary have meant a lot to me.
A Must Watch For All!
God Bless.
https://www.theepochtimes.com/gender-transformation_5280005.html?utm_source=share-btn-copylink
Here's a sincere question:
I am of the J.K. Rowling-Jesse Singal-Lisa Selin Davis school on these "trans" issues; deeply skeptical of it in many ways, while recognizing there probably are truly gender dysphoric people, and that for some adults, some kind of transition may alleviate their suffering.
I am also a non-believer, an atheist who prays and meditates every day.
Here's my question:
Given that some families **do** in fact torment or punish children who fall outside the family's preferred "norms," whether it's religious belief (or lack thereof), sexual morality, gender variant behavior (more feminine boys, masculine girls, etc.), how are school officials supposed to gauge whether exposing a child's "trans" (or other) secret may put them in, at least, an untenable position at home?
In general, my view is, parents should be notified of behavioral changes and issues at school. Teachers should not be withholding information from parents, not even on (just) a child's say so that to violate their confidence would cause Harm X, Y or Z.
Yet I am a person who does not in any way approve of parents punishing kids for being themselves, questioning religious tenets, and so on.
How should we resolve the above? Respecful answers appreciated.
Thanks.
I think you are talking about the old 'child protective services' question. Unfortunately there are kids who are abused by their parents and in the 'olden days' teachers were required to consult and refer if they were concerned about a child. Now teachers, who are not trained in these matters, are becoming 'therapists' etc and acting out of their own beliefs and most often not in the best interest of the child. Family reunification is ALWAYS in the best interest of anyone when it is possible and parents are open to understanding harms done. This is no longer, "Sally comes to school with bruises" or 'Jimmy was beaten because parents believe in sparing the rod and spoiling the child. I am a mental health person and have worked with many teachers, most of whom really don't have any idea about child development or family health. They are taught to teach subjects not to intervene in family matters. I am happy to be retired now because I just can't fathom how teachers, and schools, have taken this on. Long ago we walked away from religious indoctrination is schools. This movement is 'faith based'. There is no science behind it that I am aware of and I worked with families, children and adolescents for 30 years. I think the idea that the kids are being punished is made up and part of the story. Parents may be shocked, scared and confused, but that is a far cry from punishing.
Powerful writing. Be prepared to write one from the surgeon.
As part of a grief ritual exercise, I spoke to someone who sat in place of the surgeon who conducted my sex-organ surgeries. As my accusations and tears flowed, I realized forgiveness was within my ability, because the person I've become is who I am meant to be. The same is true for S, no matter what.
Love and respect to you and your family.
Reading the letters you never received was a profound experience. I deeply sympathise with you. Would it be worth sending them to the people concerned?
That was genuinely cathartic. Thank you!
Good writing. I thought the first two were authentic... Some of us found it uplifting, others depressing. As someone who has hoped for just one of these acknowledgements for too many years, I've realized there is a greater chance of my son returning to himself than any of these folkers ever apologizing.
Brilliant. Thank you, actually, for sharing the things you said to the therapists because I am in the process of waiting to hear back from an old one and trying to demand a family session with a new one. Not holding my breath but I like to have language to arm myself, just in case. Our daughter is 21, so it sounds similar.
it was so powerful to read this, my heart goes out to all the parents.
If only....
Excellent on every level. I hope S gets sustained care that leads her back to her family and mental health.
that is wgy we need to speak up, to debate, to challange
humans do change their way of thinking
I can only imagine the relief and qffi mation it would bring to receive these letters as a parent. My heart hurts for y'all. I'm thinking about how I can use your words of pain to reach others. Thank you for your your vulnerability. Hang in there!