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Robin's avatar

We haven't spoken to our daughter in 10years One day I will have the strength to tell our story Thank you for sharing yours

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Minerva's avatar

The more I read from other parents the more I realized I missed with my own daughter. I misunderstood the danger of her watching anime. I thought it was fine when she decided to learn some Japanese in order to enjoy the anime more. Later, I saw the bruises on her, she told me it was from a "mosh pit." Told me just a tiny bit of what she was into, enough to make me weep. Pretty soon she was talking about "fetlife" and Discord - I didn't research either of these because she was brilliant. She was in the Gifted & Talented program in school, very science oriented.

One of the friends she'd had come over to the house was accused of luring an underage girl to his home where he kept her in a dog cage & abused her. When the news of his arrest broke, she said, "Friends have warned be about him but my experience with him wasn't like that." What her "experience" with someone who could do that to a young woman, I suspect I wouldn't want to know.

What a surprise when she started talking about being "non-binary." A piece of utter nonsense. We calmly discussed that she couldn't change sex, being "non-binary" just set up another binary, the acne she suffered could be remedied by stopping testosterone. I refused to refer to her using they/them/it.

For 3 yrs she barely left her room. Took her meals to her room. Talked to her best friend as they watched My Little Pony together over the internet. Stopped going out. No friends visited anymore.

Right after the last presidential election, she informed me she was going to visit her best friend - not at all unusual - I raised concerns regarding C19 & possible post-election violence. She said, "I'll cancel my flight if you insist." I wish I had insisted. Instead I told her, "You're a grown woman. It's your decision."

The morning she left. She rolled out the huge trunk we'd used to move cross country. I thought it was odd, but she was going for 3 wks & it was Autumn, I convinced myself she needed to pack that much in case the weather turned warm or turned colder. She stood at the door. I said, as I always did, "Have fun & stay safe." We didn't hug. I was pretty upset with her still and I had an ear ache. She turned and left.

We had 1 brief text exchange a week later. About spices.

She didn't come home the day she told me she would. I texted her. No response. I contacted her best friend who told me she was there and was fine. I haven't heard from her since. I've sent a couple of packages to her friend's address. No idea if she received them though. Asked her friend to ask her to send my car key back. Nothing. Not a word. Not a key.

Nearing 2 years now. She's going by a different, male, name. I think she's dropped the "non-binary" and is pretending to be a man now. I hope I hear from her 1 day. I don't think it's very likely though.

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