No "maybe" about it! If anything of the tiniest positive comes out of this trans nightmare it is that we all find out who our real friends are & those who are not! We see who will stand up & stand behind us with our full love & support! I realized a very long time ago, before trans invaded my life, that a friendship that contributes little to my life or wellbeing is not worthy of my time or energy. All our thoughts & emotions are real & are not up for debate by anyone! We must all fight for the end of this death cult & the only way is with truth & love! Bless us all.
This cult tears apart families and friendships - I understand how this feels. I cannot talk to three of my sisters about anything "trans" because they have chosen to believe it, accept it, and probably promote it. We must all stand our ground because we know the truth, and if that means letting go of people...then that is what needs to happen.
This is so true. I can't rest on agree to disagree on this issue & I've never really been a black n white person. A family member said recently during an uncomfortable attempt at a family get together that 'it doesn't mean we don't love you' That wasn't good enough for me. Love and support go hand in hand. I feel no support, just loneliness
It's scary how much this letter feels like something I could write to a friend of mine, even though I haven't had to endure the horror of having a child claim they were trans.
Their arguments are always pure projection: being incredibly rude and then accusing me of being rude when I react angrily; saying they disagree without saying what they disagree about, then acting like I'm creating an argument when I push the point; justifying meaningless slogans with more meaningless slogans.
It's exhausting and demoralising, and we shouldn't feel guilty about choosing to walk away from people who behave like this.
Transgenderism is clearly a religion. Jesus rose from the dead. A man can become a woman. Both are examples of a kind of magical thinking protected in the US by the First Amendment as is my belief as an atheist that they are religious nonsense.
Some people are so smart, they are stupid. My dad used to say that. And the fact that at 60, I have never met anyone born in the wrong body kinda helped. People don't care until this enters their own family. Then they care and want help. There is no help. They want us to be fine, and drink and have fun like the good old days. That's not how this works.
Awesome to read this! I have sadly & painfully had to abandon relatives & friends also. This has devastated our families on both sides. Nuclear sized crater where that used to be. The supporters (otherwise known as predators) of this disgusting garbage - those words like 'friends' and 'relatives' don't mean anything anymore - and actually are beginning to mean something else. It's become a warning beacon now to me. But what I think hurts most is the SILENCE ... the absolute SILENCE from the rest .... well news to all of the silent ones, not speaking is speaking ... your silence says it all. And I have taken note. The silence is deafening making my warning beacon sounds loud and clear inside me. Thanks again for writing!
Thank you for sharing this. Similarly I could imagine sending this to many many many life long friendships I have. Thankfully I don't have children and many of them don't either - but are brainwashed via a friend that has transed her son or just by the brainwashing done to them via the media. I tried when it all first hit me to get them to understand but it fell on deaf ears. I really tried with a best friend and again, turned out pointless. Rational thought doesn't enter into it for them. It's devastating and heart breaking. So I just keep myself underground under a fake name, never speak about it on my socials that are connected to my real name. Message people that I know get it, in private. But I know if I ever did come out fully I'd barely have 4 friends left and anything positive I'd ever want to do in my career would be gone. It's not a safe place for us. Their mindless 'be kind's are not for us. Sending empathy. Your writing is brilliant. x
I've written this kind of letter in my head many times, but I've never sent one. With some friends I am just trying to be silent and patient, not discussing my kids, trying to wait out this phenomenon because I know I won't change anyone's mind. Depending on your relationship, have you ever thought of asking your friend to read "Good Girls" by Hadley Freeman? It's a first-person memoir mostly about anorexia but the author also points out the similarities between anorexia and gender dysphoria. Or there's also the book "Lost Connections" by Johann Hari. His book doesn't mention gender issues at all, but the first 25% of the book discusses the origins and failures of trying to address mental health issues with pharmacological solutions. You can't help but see the similarities.
Kinship, friendship, and membership are the three main degrees of human interaction. I mourn for you that while future potential kinship (fertility) is being threatened within your family, your close friend disowned not only your friendship, but also your membership in a common social/occupational circle. For context, I suggest www.newdiscourses.com. It's much easier to heal from the deep hurts if you know why they are happening to millions. God Bless.
Excellent essay! This person had to hear this. My own daughter is running down the trans rabbit hole too and I seem to be mostly navigating this horror alone. My 19 year old trans identifying daughter told me last night that ALL THE RESEARCH shows that the only way to treat gender dysphoria is with hormones and surgery! This is after I spoke with her about being inspired by podcasts in which people with incredible intellects discuss current topics (not transgenderism specifically) and she said she listens to podcasts which I would never listen to because the people are trans and therefore I would consider them unintelligent. I corrected her by saying I wouldn’t think they were unintelligent but I do believe they are mentally ill. She then asked what I believe would cure gender dysphoria and I said “Psychotherapy and counselling”. Her response: “That has been PROVEN not to work!” So there you have it: ALL THE RESEARCH AND PROOF is in her mind provided by the people with the mental illness! Absolutely preposterous of course but also a smart young woman who has swallowed this completely flawed way of thinking hook, line and sinker! At this stage I’m praying she wakes up and realises the faults in her own thinking and seeks out the truth: She’s being lied to.
Hello. A very difficult situation for you, and I'm sorry to hear it. Your daughter needs to understand how intensely people can be driven by profit and accolades that help their careers or social standing. There is ALWAYS something to be gained with Trans Allys. Ask her to show you an example of a compelling argument which doesn't have the hallmarks of personal gain.
It must be incredibly confusing for immature people to pick apart arguments from seemingly intelligent and accredited adults, but those people are there for personal profit, whereas we on the other side are more often than not acting and speaking, putting careers on the line, risking cancellation, because it's the right and moral thing to do. I hope she's not too far gone to see this? Best of luck to you and your family ♥️
No I didn’t as I didn’t want to escalate the quite cordial (albeit nonsensical) discussion into an argument (or worse a screaming match) I’ve had so many if those with her and quite frankly it decimates me for days. Surely the mere utterance of the words “All the research proves that only hormones and surgery can cure gender dysphoria!” must ring an alarm bell somewhere in her brain that simply says OMG that is just BS, unsound, crazy ideological thinking. Wouldn’t you think???? I just can’t relate to that level of pretense. I was a teenager once too and I had some dumb ideas but never on this self destructive level. What the hell did we do wrong? Our older daughter is just as baffled as her father and I. However the so called experts: the GP, Psychologist and hormone pedlar at the Gender Clinic are all onboard with the lunacy!! I literally shake my head in disbelief!
Sorry, you are going through this. I have unfortunately found no way of getting my daughter to see any reason- I am just told I am the one with the problem. I hear you on "not wanting-a-shouting match", we are exhausted and trying to maintain some sort of relationship !!
I'm offering events, days out, fun stuff. And that's with the brother of my so called trans kid. He too is hooked with this ideology and his distance is growing. Won't return calls or text messages. If I challenge pronoun use or mention detransitioners he clams up, claiming I don't even try and that I couldn't possibly for a moment consider that these people might actually be happy with their decision. There is no common sense or logic. So I/we are forced into silence I don't know if that's right or wrong. My husbands view is to leave it, you can't control it, & don't feed into the drama. He is declining invites now, its such a loss. It's so sad & lonely. I want to play families and they don't want to play.
Something has to change with young people’s mindset. It’s horrible to watch this disaffected group & hard not to retaliate. On the one hand they are rude, demanding & arrogant, rejecting their parents & on the other, they are pitiful.
Sending hugs, I hear your pain. As well as the devastation we go through with our child it effects every other relationship too. I too have broken lifelong close friendships from other people’s lack of empathy.
A friend asked me in front of a large group of colleagues why I hadn’t got my pronouns on my name badge! (The other colleagues don’t know about my trans child)
At the funeral of a friend lost tragically in an accident the brother of the deceased asked me how my 2 boys were (one is my daughter) there is no escape from having this hammered into me.
Maybe she wants to stay close to "convince you about your position with this issue"?? If you are helping people the right way that is the only way looking for their own inner emotional or physical problems and try to convince them about not go to extremes superficial changes and persue a life of misery, I salute you! Because after all we must not build our personality around our looks, even if the society tell you the contrary. It is when you have a beautiful daughter and she seems to become vain and superficial, you tell her not to relay in her looks and work hard as anybody else. We must differentiate the different levels of transgenderism or conditions that lead at that. It is not the same a teenager or a young adult that doesn't accept her or his biological reality and the identity of that biological identity and that identity doesn't have to be so rigid neither, both sexes can do things of the opposite one without our sex being in jeopardy. Then we have the children, and the children is more diabolical in nature especially because as younger you get them to start hormones and alike treatments the harder is to recover them, not impossible but very hard. With the children is mainly society and the feeble minded parents who think that they are wonderful parents in supporting this abuse and also delegating education and leadership to strangers that not love their own children. A child who knows nothing of life, who doesn't know how to do things and we must teach them, what to eat, when to go to bed, or if they need school and learning about so millions things and a child would know about gender confusion???? So what we are fighting against here is much bigger because we all have been children and we all know that a child NEVER will think in those terms, sexuality doesn't exist in the mind of a child at less a criminal is filling them and whispering in their ears or teaching them (sexual abuse). Also we read the UN or WHO guidelines for sexual education (in their website) and starting Kindergarden they included masturbation, different kind of sexuality, what others may do or not do to you and they want to implement this in the whole world (read the West). This transgenderism is also mainly an American problem and sadly goes to the world through "entertainment and propaganda".
As you can see, transgenderism is not just a kid that "wants" to be the opposite gender, it is not the relationship between Mom and child or parents and child, it is the world!
We must stop as Americans sexualizing our children. And all this started when sex was isolated of its main purpose and it was isolated from LOVE, and LOVE as a creator of another humans. It is true that sexually abused children and children who have been sexualized are weaker human beings, and more easily controlled, and that is the purpose, the destruction of humans being within. We are fighting evil and as long we understand that the better equipped we will be. And don't waste time with your "friend", I don't think she has your best interest at heart. You are not alone
You are honest, fair and brave enough to face the darkest truths about humankind that have been revealed through this 'wrong body' cult more clearly than ever before, not least the capitulation of the political Left to it. Your friend, it would seem, lacks these essential strengths, as do, in my experience, most people, and as a result they are part of the problem. It's also a safety in numbers thing for the majority, combined with the arrogance of ignorance, with a little bit of knowledge being a very dangerous thing today indeed. It's an excellent letter. If only more women, mothers especially, appreciated as you do the value of true friendship and sisterhood. XX
No "maybe" about it! If anything of the tiniest positive comes out of this trans nightmare it is that we all find out who our real friends are & those who are not! We see who will stand up & stand behind us with our full love & support! I realized a very long time ago, before trans invaded my life, that a friendship that contributes little to my life or wellbeing is not worthy of my time or energy. All our thoughts & emotions are real & are not up for debate by anyone! We must all fight for the end of this death cult & the only way is with truth & love! Bless us all.
This cult tears apart families and friendships - I understand how this feels. I cannot talk to three of my sisters about anything "trans" because they have chosen to believe it, accept it, and probably promote it. We must all stand our ground because we know the truth, and if that means letting go of people...then that is what needs to happen.
This is so true. I can't rest on agree to disagree on this issue & I've never really been a black n white person. A family member said recently during an uncomfortable attempt at a family get together that 'it doesn't mean we don't love you' That wasn't good enough for me. Love and support go hand in hand. I feel no support, just loneliness
It's scary how much this letter feels like something I could write to a friend of mine, even though I haven't had to endure the horror of having a child claim they were trans.
Their arguments are always pure projection: being incredibly rude and then accusing me of being rude when I react angrily; saying they disagree without saying what they disagree about, then acting like I'm creating an argument when I push the point; justifying meaningless slogans with more meaningless slogans.
It's exhausting and demoralising, and we shouldn't feel guilty about choosing to walk away from people who behave like this.
Transgenderism is clearly a religion. Jesus rose from the dead. A man can become a woman. Both are examples of a kind of magical thinking protected in the US by the First Amendment as is my belief as an atheist that they are religious nonsense.
Some people are so smart, they are stupid. My dad used to say that. And the fact that at 60, I have never met anyone born in the wrong body kinda helped. People don't care until this enters their own family. Then they care and want help. There is no help. They want us to be fine, and drink and have fun like the good old days. That's not how this works.
Sending you much love and prayers. Keep fighting for your child and all children. You are not alone ❤️
Awesome to read this! I have sadly & painfully had to abandon relatives & friends also. This has devastated our families on both sides. Nuclear sized crater where that used to be. The supporters (otherwise known as predators) of this disgusting garbage - those words like 'friends' and 'relatives' don't mean anything anymore - and actually are beginning to mean something else. It's become a warning beacon now to me. But what I think hurts most is the SILENCE ... the absolute SILENCE from the rest .... well news to all of the silent ones, not speaking is speaking ... your silence says it all. And I have taken note. The silence is deafening making my warning beacon sounds loud and clear inside me. Thanks again for writing!
Thank you for sharing this. Similarly I could imagine sending this to many many many life long friendships I have. Thankfully I don't have children and many of them don't either - but are brainwashed via a friend that has transed her son or just by the brainwashing done to them via the media. I tried when it all first hit me to get them to understand but it fell on deaf ears. I really tried with a best friend and again, turned out pointless. Rational thought doesn't enter into it for them. It's devastating and heart breaking. So I just keep myself underground under a fake name, never speak about it on my socials that are connected to my real name. Message people that I know get it, in private. But I know if I ever did come out fully I'd barely have 4 friends left and anything positive I'd ever want to do in my career would be gone. It's not a safe place for us. Their mindless 'be kind's are not for us. Sending empathy. Your writing is brilliant. x
I've written this kind of letter in my head many times, but I've never sent one. With some friends I am just trying to be silent and patient, not discussing my kids, trying to wait out this phenomenon because I know I won't change anyone's mind. Depending on your relationship, have you ever thought of asking your friend to read "Good Girls" by Hadley Freeman? It's a first-person memoir mostly about anorexia but the author also points out the similarities between anorexia and gender dysphoria. Or there's also the book "Lost Connections" by Johann Hari. His book doesn't mention gender issues at all, but the first 25% of the book discusses the origins and failures of trying to address mental health issues with pharmacological solutions. You can't help but see the similarities.
Hadley Freeman's book is incredible. I have tried so many futile angles with this friend....
Kinship, friendship, and membership are the three main degrees of human interaction. I mourn for you that while future potential kinship (fertility) is being threatened within your family, your close friend disowned not only your friendship, but also your membership in a common social/occupational circle. For context, I suggest www.newdiscourses.com. It's much easier to heal from the deep hurts if you know why they are happening to millions. God Bless.
Any relationship between myself and a gender nonsense supporter is not friendship
You just can't trust anything they say can you?
Excellent essay! This person had to hear this. My own daughter is running down the trans rabbit hole too and I seem to be mostly navigating this horror alone. My 19 year old trans identifying daughter told me last night that ALL THE RESEARCH shows that the only way to treat gender dysphoria is with hormones and surgery! This is after I spoke with her about being inspired by podcasts in which people with incredible intellects discuss current topics (not transgenderism specifically) and she said she listens to podcasts which I would never listen to because the people are trans and therefore I would consider them unintelligent. I corrected her by saying I wouldn’t think they were unintelligent but I do believe they are mentally ill. She then asked what I believe would cure gender dysphoria and I said “Psychotherapy and counselling”. Her response: “That has been PROVEN not to work!” So there you have it: ALL THE RESEARCH AND PROOF is in her mind provided by the people with the mental illness! Absolutely preposterous of course but also a smart young woman who has swallowed this completely flawed way of thinking hook, line and sinker! At this stage I’m praying she wakes up and realises the faults in her own thinking and seeks out the truth: She’s being lied to.
I like the Pique Resilience Project. Maybe your child would too? Lighthearted and not judgmental.
Your daughter needs to hear from detransitioners. Read / view videos from Ritchie Heron in the UK: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk7NX7iPr9k
https://youtu.be/6N2praAS2BQ?si=3PlLC3smAkAPzVuy
Sinead Watson: https://substack.com/@imwatson91
and the 55,000 members of: https://www.reddit.com/r/detrans/
I wish you all the best. x
Hello. A very difficult situation for you, and I'm sorry to hear it. Your daughter needs to understand how intensely people can be driven by profit and accolades that help their careers or social standing. There is ALWAYS something to be gained with Trans Allys. Ask her to show you an example of a compelling argument which doesn't have the hallmarks of personal gain.
It must be incredibly confusing for immature people to pick apart arguments from seemingly intelligent and accredited adults, but those people are there for personal profit, whereas we on the other side are more often than not acting and speaking, putting careers on the line, risking cancellation, because it's the right and moral thing to do. I hope she's not too far gone to see this? Best of luck to you and your family ♥️
Did you try asking her to show you some of that research, the actual studies testing and proving that therapy doesn't work and transition does?
No I didn’t as I didn’t want to escalate the quite cordial (albeit nonsensical) discussion into an argument (or worse a screaming match) I’ve had so many if those with her and quite frankly it decimates me for days. Surely the mere utterance of the words “All the research proves that only hormones and surgery can cure gender dysphoria!” must ring an alarm bell somewhere in her brain that simply says OMG that is just BS, unsound, crazy ideological thinking. Wouldn’t you think???? I just can’t relate to that level of pretense. I was a teenager once too and I had some dumb ideas but never on this self destructive level. What the hell did we do wrong? Our older daughter is just as baffled as her father and I. However the so called experts: the GP, Psychologist and hormone pedlar at the Gender Clinic are all onboard with the lunacy!! I literally shake my head in disbelief!
Sorry, you are going through this. I have unfortunately found no way of getting my daughter to see any reason- I am just told I am the one with the problem. I hear you on "not wanting-a-shouting match", we are exhausted and trying to maintain some sort of relationship !!
I'm offering events, days out, fun stuff. And that's with the brother of my so called trans kid. He too is hooked with this ideology and his distance is growing. Won't return calls or text messages. If I challenge pronoun use or mention detransitioners he clams up, claiming I don't even try and that I couldn't possibly for a moment consider that these people might actually be happy with their decision. There is no common sense or logic. So I/we are forced into silence I don't know if that's right or wrong. My husbands view is to leave it, you can't control it, & don't feed into the drama. He is declining invites now, its such a loss. It's so sad & lonely. I want to play families and they don't want to play.
so sad and difficult
It’s so sad & negative
Something has to change with young people’s mindset. It’s horrible to watch this disaffected group & hard not to retaliate. On the one hand they are rude, demanding & arrogant, rejecting their parents & on the other, they are pitiful.
I hope your daughter wakes up to the truth soon. I hope all of our children do…
Sending hugs, I hear your pain. As well as the devastation we go through with our child it effects every other relationship too. I too have broken lifelong close friendships from other people’s lack of empathy.
A friend asked me in front of a large group of colleagues why I hadn’t got my pronouns on my name badge! (The other colleagues don’t know about my trans child)
At the funeral of a friend lost tragically in an accident the brother of the deceased asked me how my 2 boys were (one is my daughter) there is no escape from having this hammered into me.
Maybe she wants to stay close to "convince you about your position with this issue"?? If you are helping people the right way that is the only way looking for their own inner emotional or physical problems and try to convince them about not go to extremes superficial changes and persue a life of misery, I salute you! Because after all we must not build our personality around our looks, even if the society tell you the contrary. It is when you have a beautiful daughter and she seems to become vain and superficial, you tell her not to relay in her looks and work hard as anybody else. We must differentiate the different levels of transgenderism or conditions that lead at that. It is not the same a teenager or a young adult that doesn't accept her or his biological reality and the identity of that biological identity and that identity doesn't have to be so rigid neither, both sexes can do things of the opposite one without our sex being in jeopardy. Then we have the children, and the children is more diabolical in nature especially because as younger you get them to start hormones and alike treatments the harder is to recover them, not impossible but very hard. With the children is mainly society and the feeble minded parents who think that they are wonderful parents in supporting this abuse and also delegating education and leadership to strangers that not love their own children. A child who knows nothing of life, who doesn't know how to do things and we must teach them, what to eat, when to go to bed, or if they need school and learning about so millions things and a child would know about gender confusion???? So what we are fighting against here is much bigger because we all have been children and we all know that a child NEVER will think in those terms, sexuality doesn't exist in the mind of a child at less a criminal is filling them and whispering in their ears or teaching them (sexual abuse). Also we read the UN or WHO guidelines for sexual education (in their website) and starting Kindergarden they included masturbation, different kind of sexuality, what others may do or not do to you and they want to implement this in the whole world (read the West). This transgenderism is also mainly an American problem and sadly goes to the world through "entertainment and propaganda".
As you can see, transgenderism is not just a kid that "wants" to be the opposite gender, it is not the relationship between Mom and child or parents and child, it is the world!
We must stop as Americans sexualizing our children. And all this started when sex was isolated of its main purpose and it was isolated from LOVE, and LOVE as a creator of another humans. It is true that sexually abused children and children who have been sexualized are weaker human beings, and more easily controlled, and that is the purpose, the destruction of humans being within. We are fighting evil and as long we understand that the better equipped we will be. And don't waste time with your "friend", I don't think she has your best interest at heart. You are not alone
You are honest, fair and brave enough to face the darkest truths about humankind that have been revealed through this 'wrong body' cult more clearly than ever before, not least the capitulation of the political Left to it. Your friend, it would seem, lacks these essential strengths, as do, in my experience, most people, and as a result they are part of the problem. It's also a safety in numbers thing for the majority, combined with the arrogance of ignorance, with a little bit of knowledge being a very dangerous thing today indeed. It's an excellent letter. If only more women, mothers especially, appreciated as you do the value of true friendship and sisterhood. XX