Seven years in- can’t say I’ve prayed for this (I am a person of prayer). But I have fantasized about it. It is much less often now, but not all together gone.
I'm impressed by your activism. Given how the educational and medical institutions have fully aligned against parents and pushed this evil, it seems the only sure cure is to move to Wyoming, have your child work on a horse farm....and take the phone and computer away.
Mom, I feel and hear your pain. It's impossible for someone who has not been in this situation to understand your wish to be given a terminal diagnosis, in the hopes that something that dire would jolt your daughter back to reality. That, upon your death bed, you could make her promise not to harm herself with hormones and surgeries. Years ago, I used to wish the same thing, although I felt very guilty about that.
The physician who casually remarked to your husband that "now you have a son" should have a serious dressing down by all parents who have had to live this nightmare. What a callous, ignorant remark. Since this is a repost from 2021, can you please share how things have gone for your family? One of my daughters has desisted. We're still hoping for the other to do the same.
I cannot imagine that physician how he could say “now you have a son”. Can he honestly believe the “gender” lie that a female can be a male? I call someone who who denies reality by the description “psycho”. That physician is a psycho.
I am glad to hear that one of your daughters has desisted. It is so crazy that multiple kids in a family go for the gender cult. Do you have any insight to share regarding each of your daughter's paths at this point?
Oh how this resonates with me... sadly.. I have had the same thoughts and live in constant fear of my soon to be 18 year old daughter doing more harm to herself...
I wonder: has any of us written to the Holy Father, Pope Leo? He has a unique platform, his voice will carry a powerful weight. I wonder what’s the church’s current stance on this issue. Does anyone know?
Anne, I would imagine the new Pope has a sane view of this. He appears to have conservative views. Unfortunately, I think those with religious views have little effect on the cult mentality. So many believe that "the religious right" are homophobic, transphobic bigots. Of course, they lump homophobia in with the trans label, not realizing that many confused teens and young adults believe they are trans because they are same-sex attracted, and are confused or ashamed of their sexuality.
I love you! Your honesty, sincerity, truthfulness, detailed descriptions, and humor was fabulous. I did not know if I should cry or applaud at the end. You are so strong and a powerful fighter. This evil-cult sucks all the air out of the room, and then we feel like we are suffocating. I hate it. I hate everything about this cult. When my nephew declared he was trans and wanted to become a girl it literally broke my family apart. Several painful years followed - we were all walking on eggshells, ignoring the elephant in the room, and he began to change, and we became terrified. We dreaded for him to turn 18, and then he graduated (the school used his new name to announce his achievement), and then he left home and just vanished off the face of this earth. I prayed non-stop, every day for this kid, for my sister and her husband. I was so worried that something bad would happen and we would never see him again. At times my imagination would run wild, and I would almost get sick to my stomach. The fear of the unknown. He was my last thought before falling asleep and my first thought every waking morning. I ached for my family. I felt so helpless. For over a year we did not know where he was or how he was. Then a Christmas miracle happened, and he decided to desist and return home. It was now time to forgive, recover and move forward. However, it is not that easy to do - after all, we are mere humans, and we cannot just turn our emotions on and off like a light switch. It will take time for my family to heal. Knowing this, I just said a prayer for you and your family, and I hope you are given the opportunity to heal together. May God protect your daughter and keep her from the deadly clutches of the trans-cult.
| The doctor made a light-hearted joke about “ah, well, so, now you have a son!”.
This indifference constantly shakes me up. The idea a child could go through an unnatural metamorphosis into something fundamentally *fake* and it's treated like "What's the big deal?" The idea identity is important to only the individual and not the people who know and have a lifetime interacting with us is astounding.
MidWit, the indifference is especially ludicrous coming from a medical professional, someone who has studied the human body and knows full well the differences between men and women. We are living in a clown world. It's frightening and exhausting.
I had a similar reaction from my primary care doctor as described in your essay. At the beginning of this nightmare over 8 years ago I was in bad shape. I did have suicide ideation often. I was crying all the time. When seeing my doctor of 17 years for an annual physical I was treated with disdain when I brought this issue up with him. I was looking for care and concern from my physician. What I got was a casual, laughing doctor who basically told me to just accept it. There is nothing you can do about it. He he says he is a woman then you just have to take his word for it and go along. My long time doctor had no sympathy whatsoever for me. Even if he ideologically disagreed with me he could have still acknowledged how painful this is for a mother. I never went back to him. And he never reached out to find out why I left the practice. He didn't give a shit.
When this abomination finally stops, if it ever does, I want justice for the parents. We are the forgotten collateral damage. We simply don't matter to the greater world.
So true- only we understand the mental health crisis us as parents are enduring. Whenever I bring up the trans topic, I just get well they are your son now,surely you are used to it by now ? No sympathy acknowledgment of feeling or empathy 😢
I didn't dare to pray for it, but I do remember hoping I would get very sick, preferably with breast cancer. I wanted to offer my breasts and my health as a sacrifice, so my daughter could keep hers. (Surely, taking care of a sick mom would get her to snap out of it and stop the gender navel-gazing!) I was not a proud martyr. In fact, I felt terribly guilty about these thoughts. I hope the author's daughter has long desisted, like mine has.
I remember reading this when it was first posted…I’ve been living this nightmare for a long time. Even though my daughter has socially transitioned among friends/work/college…she still goes by her birth name legally and within the family….and we’ve been able to hold off a medical transition. However, she just graduated college and I can see that our influence is waning. Has anyone had any luck sharing stories like these with their trans-identified kids? What was the impact, if any? I often wonder if it would help them to understand that OTHER parents and families have similar feelings and thoughts…and it’s not just her own “crazy, overprotective” parents.
I’m wondering about this too… I’ve had serious suicidal ideation and have also told the Lord he can wreck my health if it will help my son come back to himself. We’re in a stable space now as he’s moved home and our relationship has improved, but he still plans to get on HRT as soon as he can live on his own and support himself. 😢 Having him back home instead of estranged from me has helped a lot. But seeing him dresses like a girl is still disturbing, I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it 🤦♀️
Ohhhhh the headache.... praying for your hearts to keep hoping.... 🩵🙏🌻
Seven years in- can’t say I’ve prayed for this (I am a person of prayer). But I have fantasized about it. It is much less often now, but not all together gone.
I'm impressed by your activism. Given how the educational and medical institutions have fully aligned against parents and pushed this evil, it seems the only sure cure is to move to Wyoming, have your child work on a horse farm....and take the phone and computer away.
Mom, I feel and hear your pain. It's impossible for someone who has not been in this situation to understand your wish to be given a terminal diagnosis, in the hopes that something that dire would jolt your daughter back to reality. That, upon your death bed, you could make her promise not to harm herself with hormones and surgeries. Years ago, I used to wish the same thing, although I felt very guilty about that.
The physician who casually remarked to your husband that "now you have a son" should have a serious dressing down by all parents who have had to live this nightmare. What a callous, ignorant remark. Since this is a repost from 2021, can you please share how things have gone for your family? One of my daughters has desisted. We're still hoping for the other to do the same.
I cannot imagine that physician how he could say “now you have a son”. Can he honestly believe the “gender” lie that a female can be a male? I call someone who who denies reality by the description “psycho”. That physician is a psycho.
I am glad to hear that one of your daughters has desisted. It is so crazy that multiple kids in a family go for the gender cult. Do you have any insight to share regarding each of your daughter's paths at this point?
Oh how this resonates with me... sadly.. I have had the same thoughts and live in constant fear of my soon to be 18 year old daughter doing more harm to herself...
I hope your daughter grew out of it by now.
I so agree, I would never go back to that MD again! How do they not see the total devastation this causes a family.
I wonder: has any of us written to the Holy Father, Pope Leo? He has a unique platform, his voice will carry a powerful weight. I wonder what’s the church’s current stance on this issue. Does anyone know?
Anne, I would imagine the new Pope has a sane view of this. He appears to have conservative views. Unfortunately, I think those with religious views have little effect on the cult mentality. So many believe that "the religious right" are homophobic, transphobic bigots. Of course, they lump homophobia in with the trans label, not realizing that many confused teens and young adults believe they are trans because they are same-sex attracted, and are confused or ashamed of their sexuality.
This essay makes me ache. The statement about living in a constant state of urgency resonates with me.
I’m wondering if anything useful came out of the consultation with cult deprogrammers.
yes - I would like to hear about the cult deprogrammers as well.
I love you! Your honesty, sincerity, truthfulness, detailed descriptions, and humor was fabulous. I did not know if I should cry or applaud at the end. You are so strong and a powerful fighter. This evil-cult sucks all the air out of the room, and then we feel like we are suffocating. I hate it. I hate everything about this cult. When my nephew declared he was trans and wanted to become a girl it literally broke my family apart. Several painful years followed - we were all walking on eggshells, ignoring the elephant in the room, and he began to change, and we became terrified. We dreaded for him to turn 18, and then he graduated (the school used his new name to announce his achievement), and then he left home and just vanished off the face of this earth. I prayed non-stop, every day for this kid, for my sister and her husband. I was so worried that something bad would happen and we would never see him again. At times my imagination would run wild, and I would almost get sick to my stomach. The fear of the unknown. He was my last thought before falling asleep and my first thought every waking morning. I ached for my family. I felt so helpless. For over a year we did not know where he was or how he was. Then a Christmas miracle happened, and he decided to desist and return home. It was now time to forgive, recover and move forward. However, it is not that easy to do - after all, we are mere humans, and we cannot just turn our emotions on and off like a light switch. It will take time for my family to heal. Knowing this, I just said a prayer for you and your family, and I hope you are given the opportunity to heal together. May God protect your daughter and keep her from the deadly clutches of the trans-cult.
💐💝
You wrote about how I feel as a mother of a transgender. Grieving over the loss of my son.
| The doctor made a light-hearted joke about “ah, well, so, now you have a son!”.
This indifference constantly shakes me up. The idea a child could go through an unnatural metamorphosis into something fundamentally *fake* and it's treated like "What's the big deal?" The idea identity is important to only the individual and not the people who know and have a lifetime interacting with us is astounding.
MidWit, the indifference is especially ludicrous coming from a medical professional, someone who has studied the human body and knows full well the differences between men and women. We are living in a clown world. It's frightening and exhausting.
And our children will tell us that we parents are the only ones who "have a problem with it". (Uh, we are the ones who care about them?)
Having transexialism totally normalized out of pretend "kindness and understanding" - not to mention $$$ is a big part of the problem.
Just wait - if that doc has a kid who transes - out. It might be another story.
Powerful and beautiful essay. I’ve been there. My husband’s been there. Our son has been in this a decade. We are fighting and hoping still.
Has this mom ever posted an update. I would love to see how things are going, and pray that her daughter has desisted
I had a similar reaction from my primary care doctor as described in your essay. At the beginning of this nightmare over 8 years ago I was in bad shape. I did have suicide ideation often. I was crying all the time. When seeing my doctor of 17 years for an annual physical I was treated with disdain when I brought this issue up with him. I was looking for care and concern from my physician. What I got was a casual, laughing doctor who basically told me to just accept it. There is nothing you can do about it. He he says he is a woman then you just have to take his word for it and go along. My long time doctor had no sympathy whatsoever for me. Even if he ideologically disagreed with me he could have still acknowledged how painful this is for a mother. I never went back to him. And he never reached out to find out why I left the practice. He didn't give a shit.
When this abomination finally stops, if it ever does, I want justice for the parents. We are the forgotten collateral damage. We simply don't matter to the greater world.
So true- only we understand the mental health crisis us as parents are enduring. Whenever I bring up the trans topic, I just get well they are your son now,surely you are used to it by now ? No sympathy acknowledgment of feeling or empathy 😢
😪
I didn't dare to pray for it, but I do remember hoping I would get very sick, preferably with breast cancer. I wanted to offer my breasts and my health as a sacrifice, so my daughter could keep hers. (Surely, taking care of a sick mom would get her to snap out of it and stop the gender navel-gazing!) I was not a proud martyr. In fact, I felt terribly guilty about these thoughts. I hope the author's daughter has long desisted, like mine has.
Oh NO. I’m not the author of the essay. I’m just another parent affected by this monstrous ideology.
Oh dear! I‘m sorry…I‘ll clarify in the other responses. Terribly sorry you‘re in this club too 😞.
so sad
I remember reading this when it was first posted…I’ve been living this nightmare for a long time. Even though my daughter has socially transitioned among friends/work/college…she still goes by her birth name legally and within the family….and we’ve been able to hold off a medical transition. However, she just graduated college and I can see that our influence is waning. Has anyone had any luck sharing stories like these with their trans-identified kids? What was the impact, if any? I often wonder if it would help them to understand that OTHER parents and families have similar feelings and thoughts…and it’s not just her own “crazy, overprotective” parents.
I’m wondering about this too… I’ve had serious suicidal ideation and have also told the Lord he can wreck my health if it will help my son come back to himself. We’re in a stable space now as he’s moved home and our relationship has improved, but he still plans to get on HRT as soon as he can live on his own and support himself. 😢 Having him back home instead of estranged from me has helped a lot. But seeing him dresses like a girl is still disturbing, I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it 🤦♀️