For anyone who wants Christian support, I highly recommend Help4families.org. I'm in a Tuesday Bible study with Christian moms going through the trials of having LGBTQ kids. My kid is 17 but all of theirs are adults and some have been cut off. This group is safe and healing. You're not alone!
I'm so sorry this happened to your family. We had the same thing but in reverse. Our daughter attended Christian school and had never heard of being trans. One year of public middle school screwed her up (along with COVID and the internet sites). At age 12, she declared she was a boy. In spite of princess dresses, My Little Pony, and not letting me cut her hair. She is trying to rewrite history, but I gently don't let her. For my husband's birthday, I made a slide show of hundreds of photos. And, surprise, surprise, most photos of our daughter were adorably feminine. We also insisted that our child not attend HS with people affirming the cult lie. She's not happy about it and says she "can't be friends" with people who "don't think she should have rights." Here's the thing. They aren't stupid. They know there are only two sexes and that you can't actually become the other sex. Now more detransitioners are stepping forward and getting harder to ignore. We have told our child that we love her enough to die for her and that we're not willing to throw the Bible out because of her confusion. There's a balance of truth and love. I tried to figure out her love languages and speak them. She told her counselor that she knows we love her even though we disagree. Keep praying and loving.
Honestly a perfect mirror to how I felt when I was trans identified as a teen. I have since desisted. The particular thing you said where he believes false memories about always liking girly things, I wrote a piece to publish soon here called Doctrine over people, about the term by Robert Jay Lifton you may want to look into his work and work by Steven Hassan about cults. I think trans groups often operate like cults, using manipulation to achieve social control, mass delusion, and fear of outside opinions. I think your son is like how I was at the time. These bingo sheets are probably found off of social media. I wonder if he uses Tumblr, Reddit, or TrevorSpace. All these social sites can act like an echo chamber and only tolerate other opinions, those who question it are shunned. But at the same time they tell you that they are your friend and are a safe space and safe people. They tell you they can solve all your problems with yourself and that anyone who won't help you with this "solution" hates you. Then once you're attached they use shunning to control you. Also when you are told by people you trust that your self consciousness is correct and your body does need to be "fixed" it can increase self hatred ive found. I was insecure to a normal amount before identifying as trans, also had depression. I started to believe that my body was wrong and making me miserable. It got to a point where I would cry looking at myself and avoid showering so I wouldnt have to see my body. I saw my breasts as tumors, part of me technically but as if they shouldn't be there. Also believing that you'll kick him out of your house is what got me I had that delusion too. My mom never abused me but when she didn't affirm I thought she was going to kick me out of her house and that I would be homeless. If he's anything like me he's probably scared of you now and may be hiding a lot of what he thinks and feels. He probably got the idea from stories of child abuse from social media. I went "back in the closet" after my mom didn't affirm cause I was afraid of living on the street even though that's not reality. I looked into trying to discreetly get a binder and planning to take hormones and get surgery the second I am able to.
This is so very heartbreaking. Praying for you and your family and for all these tragic situations to heal. Our world is literally at war with evil. I believe we will prevail, but so much casualty leaves us bittersweet. Thank you for sharing your experience.
I am so sorry. You still have time for things to turn around for your son. With my daughter now being 20 and on T, I can't help but wonder if some of the more extreme measures we considered at age 14 - but ultimately didn't take - would have had an effect for the better. We chose the "let's not make it a big deal but let's also not affirm her, if we fight her hard she'll entrench herself harder, she's a smart girl and she will grow out of this" route and for our child, this was not the case. Keep fighting and stay strong. You and all ROGD families are in my prayers.
Dear God ,the absolute evil at the heart of this abhorrent ideology becomes more and more visible every day. It's rotten to its very core and the sooner Society can destroy it ,root and branch ,the better for all of us. I pray for all the victims ( and their families) who have been damaged by this ,and I would really like to see its architects and funders punished with the full force of the LAW. In a SANE world , that's what would happen ,but ,sadly ,this madness is everywhere. I pray that your children recover from this. God Bless you all.🙏🙏🙏
Heartbreaking. I am sad that, yet another young man has been poisoned by the trans cult lies. The trans ideology causes the innocent minds of our children to question who they are, and it opens a door to the delusion of mental illness. The more these children digest and absorb these lies through these evil websites, the sicker these children become. No one in their right mind would ever believe that they can transform into the opposite sex by taking cross-sex hormones, by dressing and acting like the opposite sex, and then choosing to have surgery. This is the worst medical scandal in history and every educated person in the medical field who supports this delusion needs to be held accountable, their licenses need to be revoked, and they should be sentenced to prison. This is child abuse.
I completely understand. Your statement, “my heart and soul aches to the core” pretty much nails it. I hope that he finds his way back to you, and your entire family will eventually have peace. ❤️
I feel your heartache. Do not give up. God is not done yet and is working in ways that you cannot know in the lives of your son, your family, and other people. I believe strongly in praying God's word. Second Timothy 2:25-26 is a constant for me, especially for this group, that "God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will." I pray for the Lord to break every chain, reveal every lie, and shine the light of truth into their darkness. We serve a mighty God. Nothing is too difficult for Him.
Thank you for putting into words what we are going through. This is my son’s story too. He’s just started university so I’ve been feeling that I have already lost him. I pray that God will send good people into our children’s lives that will help them escape this cult. They do not want to listen to their parents - and they do not want to talk to us, so please God send them good friends that will help them come back to You and to us 🙏
The whole trans thing is of Satan, but even many kids not captured in this way go through a time of turning against God at his age. God can still keep him, and bring him back, and I pray that he will.
There is a network of therapists who try to help these kids find themselves without going the affirming route. Look for “Therapy First”. Your son is still young, they might catch him in time.
Be careful with "Therapy First" therapists as well. Research them very carefully, just because they are part of this group, doesn't mean they are good therapists. Frankly, I think most teens are better off without therapy. #FamilyFirst
My son, too, except he is now 26, living in someone's garage with his girlfriend who thinks she's a boy, and they are about to be thrown out on the street, with no money, no jobs, no vehicle. His ADHD gives him brain fog so he can't function and he won't accept that the estradiol and progesterone and testosterone blockers cause reactions to his ADHD meds--or damage to his brain, and his girlfriend has complete control over him--think Wormtongue in Lord of the Rings--and will not let me suggest help. He's in California, I'm halfway across the country, and I can't do anything except pray.
For anyone who wants Christian support, I highly recommend Help4families.org. I'm in a Tuesday Bible study with Christian moms going through the trials of having LGBTQ kids. My kid is 17 but all of theirs are adults and some have been cut off. This group is safe and healing. You're not alone!
I'm so sorry this happened to your family. We had the same thing but in reverse. Our daughter attended Christian school and had never heard of being trans. One year of public middle school screwed her up (along with COVID and the internet sites). At age 12, she declared she was a boy. In spite of princess dresses, My Little Pony, and not letting me cut her hair. She is trying to rewrite history, but I gently don't let her. For my husband's birthday, I made a slide show of hundreds of photos. And, surprise, surprise, most photos of our daughter were adorably feminine. We also insisted that our child not attend HS with people affirming the cult lie. She's not happy about it and says she "can't be friends" with people who "don't think she should have rights." Here's the thing. They aren't stupid. They know there are only two sexes and that you can't actually become the other sex. Now more detransitioners are stepping forward and getting harder to ignore. We have told our child that we love her enough to die for her and that we're not willing to throw the Bible out because of her confusion. There's a balance of truth and love. I tried to figure out her love languages and speak them. She told her counselor that she knows we love her even though we disagree. Keep praying and loving.
Honestly a perfect mirror to how I felt when I was trans identified as a teen. I have since desisted. The particular thing you said where he believes false memories about always liking girly things, I wrote a piece to publish soon here called Doctrine over people, about the term by Robert Jay Lifton you may want to look into his work and work by Steven Hassan about cults. I think trans groups often operate like cults, using manipulation to achieve social control, mass delusion, and fear of outside opinions. I think your son is like how I was at the time. These bingo sheets are probably found off of social media. I wonder if he uses Tumblr, Reddit, or TrevorSpace. All these social sites can act like an echo chamber and only tolerate other opinions, those who question it are shunned. But at the same time they tell you that they are your friend and are a safe space and safe people. They tell you they can solve all your problems with yourself and that anyone who won't help you with this "solution" hates you. Then once you're attached they use shunning to control you. Also when you are told by people you trust that your self consciousness is correct and your body does need to be "fixed" it can increase self hatred ive found. I was insecure to a normal amount before identifying as trans, also had depression. I started to believe that my body was wrong and making me miserable. It got to a point where I would cry looking at myself and avoid showering so I wouldnt have to see my body. I saw my breasts as tumors, part of me technically but as if they shouldn't be there. Also believing that you'll kick him out of your house is what got me I had that delusion too. My mom never abused me but when she didn't affirm I thought she was going to kick me out of her house and that I would be homeless. If he's anything like me he's probably scared of you now and may be hiding a lot of what he thinks and feels. He probably got the idea from stories of child abuse from social media. I went "back in the closet" after my mom didn't affirm cause I was afraid of living on the street even though that's not reality. I looked into trying to discreetly get a binder and planning to take hormones and get surgery the second I am able to.
This is so very heartbreaking. Praying for you and your family and for all these tragic situations to heal. Our world is literally at war with evil. I believe we will prevail, but so much casualty leaves us bittersweet. Thank you for sharing your experience.
I am so sorry. You still have time for things to turn around for your son. With my daughter now being 20 and on T, I can't help but wonder if some of the more extreme measures we considered at age 14 - but ultimately didn't take - would have had an effect for the better. We chose the "let's not make it a big deal but let's also not affirm her, if we fight her hard she'll entrench herself harder, she's a smart girl and she will grow out of this" route and for our child, this was not the case. Keep fighting and stay strong. You and all ROGD families are in my prayers.
Dear God ,the absolute evil at the heart of this abhorrent ideology becomes more and more visible every day. It's rotten to its very core and the sooner Society can destroy it ,root and branch ,the better for all of us. I pray for all the victims ( and their families) who have been damaged by this ,and I would really like to see its architects and funders punished with the full force of the LAW. In a SANE world , that's what would happen ,but ,sadly ,this madness is everywhere. I pray that your children recover from this. God Bless you all.🙏🙏🙏
Heartbreaking. I am sad that, yet another young man has been poisoned by the trans cult lies. The trans ideology causes the innocent minds of our children to question who they are, and it opens a door to the delusion of mental illness. The more these children digest and absorb these lies through these evil websites, the sicker these children become. No one in their right mind would ever believe that they can transform into the opposite sex by taking cross-sex hormones, by dressing and acting like the opposite sex, and then choosing to have surgery. This is the worst medical scandal in history and every educated person in the medical field who supports this delusion needs to be held accountable, their licenses need to be revoked, and they should be sentenced to prison. This is child abuse.
I completely understand. Your statement, “my heart and soul aches to the core” pretty much nails it. I hope that he finds his way back to you, and your entire family will eventually have peace. ❤️
My heart goes out to you. At least it seems that the tide is turning.
I feel your heartache. Do not give up. God is not done yet and is working in ways that you cannot know in the lives of your son, your family, and other people. I believe strongly in praying God's word. Second Timothy 2:25-26 is a constant for me, especially for this group, that "God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will." I pray for the Lord to break every chain, reveal every lie, and shine the light of truth into their darkness. We serve a mighty God. Nothing is too difficult for Him.
Thank you for putting into words what we are going through. This is my son’s story too. He’s just started university so I’ve been feeling that I have already lost him. I pray that God will send good people into our children’s lives that will help them escape this cult. They do not want to listen to their parents - and they do not want to talk to us, so please God send them good friends that will help them come back to You and to us 🙏
Our children are never outside of God's care. Keep praying.
Praying for you and him.
The whole trans thing is of Satan, but even many kids not captured in this way go through a time of turning against God at his age. God can still keep him, and bring him back, and I pray that he will.
🙏most of us were blindsided by it...no warning for us
There is a network of therapists who try to help these kids find themselves without going the affirming route. Look for “Therapy First”. Your son is still young, they might catch him in time.
Be careful with "Therapy First" therapists as well. Research them very carefully, just because they are part of this group, doesn't mean they are good therapists. Frankly, I think most teens are better off without therapy. #FamilyFirst
This is my son too. Thank you for sharing.
My son, too, except he is now 26, living in someone's garage with his girlfriend who thinks she's a boy, and they are about to be thrown out on the street, with no money, no jobs, no vehicle. His ADHD gives him brain fog so he can't function and he won't accept that the estradiol and progesterone and testosterone blockers cause reactions to his ADHD meds--or damage to his brain, and his girlfriend has complete control over him--think Wormtongue in Lord of the Rings--and will not let me suggest help. He's in California, I'm halfway across the country, and I can't do anything except pray.
I'm so sorry to hear this. It must be terrible for you.