If you're still doing this - please stop paying for his College. Colleges are indoctrination centres. Stop paying for his healthcare insurance. Stop paying for his cell phone. Stop paying for anything. You're just enabling him - like a drug addict. He's been captured by the cult. Assure him that when he leaves the cult - he's welcome back into your home.
Tough times - tough actions. Sorry - it's just a reality now.
So beautiful & heart breaking at the same time. Tears pour as I resonate with every word. I pray for you & for your son. May the Lord’s peace find your heart & that you “wait” with audacious hope. I pray for your son as I do mine: his heart to be renewed & he would surrender his identity to the Lord. You are held in prayer & seen. ❤️
I’ve spent 8+ years trying to find the perfect thing to say, asking myself what changed.
I, too, remember the trains and the Lego and the action figures and Matchbox cars.
I dread my son’s birthday because since he came out, I haven’t called him by any name. I can’t write it on a cake or sing the song, and it cuts to my core.
May6th is my son’s 37th birthday. I won’t contact him this year. I’ll let him think I am “dead and in my grave “as he wished me to be once in an email to me. But if I were to write him I’d send him something like this. However, I don’t think it would make a difference because he has already changed the past to suit his present reality, a reality which seems like Hell to me. My biggest regret is that he will have no children I will have no grandchildren and there isn’t much I can do about it. I have given up!
I understand how you feel but you can’t give up . Last year was my son’s 33rd birthday and I had a painting he did in High school I framed for him . I worked up the courage to bring it over to his apartment not knowing if he would be there or not as I arrived I saw his car, the one I gave him by the way . I decided the best thing to do was to leave it on his porch . It killed me, I wanted to knock on the door so bad and give him a big hug and tell him I loved him but he has gone no contact for at least 2 years . I later heard through my ex husband who is still allowed contact with him that he said he didn’t like that I came to his place and that he wished I would respect his boundaries. I understand the tears , I have shed many. I go through periods of days where I don’t think about it but then come the days when all I can do is cry and wonder what I did wrong what I said wrong , was I a horrible mother, I look back at his childhood and remember all the times we spent together and our time spent together as a family and they are for the most part good and happy memories. And then like you said he went to college and everything changed . It’s a horrible tragedy for all of us parents who love our kids more than anything and would do anything to have them back . Transgender ideology is cruel and unforgiving , it separates families and brings so much pain and suffering to the ones who love them the most . It is a cult and they are brainwashed. They don’t live in reality anymore and surround themselves with like minded people to continue their beliefs that what they are doing is justified and true . My son will never have a child either , this makes me more sad for him than it does me . I write him letters I don’t know if he reads and I leave messages on his phone I don’t think he hears but I can’t give up hope no matter how hopeless it seems because if I do I would have to accept that he is never coming back and I just can’t imagine life without him ever being in it again someday .
Thank you and Bless you. I agree with everything you said and cry with you. I know I don’t deserve this treatment and neither do you or any parent unless they were really abusive. Really abusive parents are extremely rare, most of us want the best for our kids and however we raised them we thought we weee doing the right things.
We can’t blame ourselves for the secular culture changing the narrative of the past and poisoning their minds. We know in our hearts that we love them unconditionally and raised them in love. Sometimes I wonder what that means? It doesn’t mean we have to love their bad decisions or abuse. I’ve also tried the things you have and it’s gotten me nowhere. I’m not giving up I’m just giving my Stephen to Jesus and pray for him daily. I know he has ruined his body but I know my Stephen is still in there and that’s the child I love.
I’ll celebrate his birthday coming up by being kind to myself and realizing I gave birth to a perfect little boy who flew out of my womb the doctor almost dropped him. (Not my regular doctor who was out of town)
Then when this doctor asked his name I said Stephen Martin and the doctor made a paper arrow to put on his head like Steve Martin the comedian. He must have thought Martin was the last name not the middle name lol!
It is a fun memory I have of his birth. I’ll cherish that and that my little Stevie brought so much joy to me when we just learned my daughter became a Type One Diabetic at 3 1/2 years old. He was a funny baby and brought us comfort from my daughter’s diagnosis.
Also remember some of the actual cells from your body remain in his forever so you will always be with him even if it’s not true in physical reach. I just learned about this and it gave me some comfort.
I hope and pray both of our sons come to their senses one day. Have a blessed Sunday and I’ll pray for you too. 🙏❤️🙏 Lana 👉Their guardian angels are walking with them always. Pray to your guardian angel to help them🙏
I hope that you never fully give up. There is always some hope. Our kids say all kinds of things, many of them false and unkind, when they are amidst the indoctrination.
No - hope just keeps Anima in a cycle of despair and disappointment. He wished DEATH upon her for goodness sakes.
There's no saving him - he's in a cult. Best to move on (I know it's hard) and make the best of her life. She can help so many by volunteering, mentoring, raising money for mental health and detransitioners, etc.
Don't get stuck in a loop of "wishing" what was different. It's not helping.
I did not say wish. I said hope. People do get out of cults, and they do recover. When they get out, they need loving family more than ever. Nobody except the parents of our kids will protect hope for them. We can choose to help others, while also maintaining a belief that it’s possible our kid will get out. There is always room for good possibilities and outcomes.
This brought tears to my eyes because I could've written it myself, other than my son is not in college anymore. You have expressed the truth so well of what we carry inside, 1. the desire to find just the right thing to say or do that will bring them back to reality and love for who they really are, 2. the wish we could go back and start over and not make the same mistakes. Thank-you for putting this all in words.
I can so relate! Especially the part about wanting to start over, fixing whatever mistakes we feel we surely must have made along the way to cause this to happen. Will we ever be able to stop blaming ourselves?
Btw, I have come to the realization that college is the worst place for our kids. It’s a bubble where everybody encourages the trans ideas.
I have not stopped blaming myself, as her mom even though we are told and advised not to blame ourselves. It’s not our fault but I can’t help wondering what I’ve done to cause this unthinkable situation!
In the case of my daughter being away from highschool during the covid lockdowns was the cause, the Reddit and Youtube rabbit holes. For my autistic daughter "trans" became her special interest.
At this point I would be so proud that my kid could actually attend college. She has deteriorated so badly from the drugs she is taking to cope with the side effects of T that she can't even fundamentally function.
Yeah. I get so surprised when I actually see one functioning. I sat next to a couple of young women on a plane over the weekend. One was clearly on T. The other was feminine. Both mid 20s. They were going on a trip for the feminine ones work and she seemed functional and fine, sweet and outgoing. The one on T was actually sitting between us and couldn't even make eye contact with me. I remembered what my own daughter was like before the T and just knew under this anxious surly heap was a wonderful woman trapped by meds.
Colleges are awful but I am not sure how much worse they are than anywhere else. The trans ideas are encouraged everywhere - the jobs, the churches and synagogues, volunteering organizations, even the military is not safe.
A precious gift... the day God gave you your son. So so sorry for the grief and the sorrow and all of this, may your heart hold onto the hope that you have in Christ Jesus, and may God bring your son back to you 🩵🙏💗
If you're still doing this - please stop paying for his College. Colleges are indoctrination centres. Stop paying for his healthcare insurance. Stop paying for his cell phone. Stop paying for anything. You're just enabling him - like a drug addict. He's been captured by the cult. Assure him that when he leaves the cult - he's welcome back into your home.
Tough times - tough actions. Sorry - it's just a reality now.
So beautiful & heart breaking at the same time. Tears pour as I resonate with every word. I pray for you & for your son. May the Lord’s peace find your heart & that you “wait” with audacious hope. I pray for your son as I do mine: his heart to be renewed & he would surrender his identity to the Lord. You are held in prayer & seen. ❤️
Beautifully written and so profoundly felt.
I’ve spent 8+ years trying to find the perfect thing to say, asking myself what changed.
I, too, remember the trains and the Lego and the action figures and Matchbox cars.
I dread my son’s birthday because since he came out, I haven’t called him by any name. I can’t write it on a cake or sing the song, and it cuts to my core.
I feel the pain you do. And I cry with you.
<<hugs>>
That photo looks like a napping fox with a detached tail — disturbing. What are we not seeing in that photo?
The tail is not detached. It’s a beautiful picture - one of sweetness & peace.
That looked like a very sweet fox, napping. Thank you for reassuring us.
We both just have always loved foxes. Always makes me think of him.
😢
Reminds me of my daughter; so heartbreaking, you took words right out of my mouth.
Thank you for sharing.
May6th is my son’s 37th birthday. I won’t contact him this year. I’ll let him think I am “dead and in my grave “as he wished me to be once in an email to me. But if I were to write him I’d send him something like this. However, I don’t think it would make a difference because he has already changed the past to suit his present reality, a reality which seems like Hell to me. My biggest regret is that he will have no children I will have no grandchildren and there isn’t much I can do about it. I have given up!
I understand how you feel but you can’t give up . Last year was my son’s 33rd birthday and I had a painting he did in High school I framed for him . I worked up the courage to bring it over to his apartment not knowing if he would be there or not as I arrived I saw his car, the one I gave him by the way . I decided the best thing to do was to leave it on his porch . It killed me, I wanted to knock on the door so bad and give him a big hug and tell him I loved him but he has gone no contact for at least 2 years . I later heard through my ex husband who is still allowed contact with him that he said he didn’t like that I came to his place and that he wished I would respect his boundaries. I understand the tears , I have shed many. I go through periods of days where I don’t think about it but then come the days when all I can do is cry and wonder what I did wrong what I said wrong , was I a horrible mother, I look back at his childhood and remember all the times we spent together and our time spent together as a family and they are for the most part good and happy memories. And then like you said he went to college and everything changed . It’s a horrible tragedy for all of us parents who love our kids more than anything and would do anything to have them back . Transgender ideology is cruel and unforgiving , it separates families and brings so much pain and suffering to the ones who love them the most . It is a cult and they are brainwashed. They don’t live in reality anymore and surround themselves with like minded people to continue their beliefs that what they are doing is justified and true . My son will never have a child either , this makes me more sad for him than it does me . I write him letters I don’t know if he reads and I leave messages on his phone I don’t think he hears but I can’t give up hope no matter how hopeless it seems because if I do I would have to accept that he is never coming back and I just can’t imagine life without him ever being in it again someday .
Hello Dionne,
Thank you and Bless you. I agree with everything you said and cry with you. I know I don’t deserve this treatment and neither do you or any parent unless they were really abusive. Really abusive parents are extremely rare, most of us want the best for our kids and however we raised them we thought we weee doing the right things.
We can’t blame ourselves for the secular culture changing the narrative of the past and poisoning their minds. We know in our hearts that we love them unconditionally and raised them in love. Sometimes I wonder what that means? It doesn’t mean we have to love their bad decisions or abuse. I’ve also tried the things you have and it’s gotten me nowhere. I’m not giving up I’m just giving my Stephen to Jesus and pray for him daily. I know he has ruined his body but I know my Stephen is still in there and that’s the child I love.
I’ll celebrate his birthday coming up by being kind to myself and realizing I gave birth to a perfect little boy who flew out of my womb the doctor almost dropped him. (Not my regular doctor who was out of town)
Then when this doctor asked his name I said Stephen Martin and the doctor made a paper arrow to put on his head like Steve Martin the comedian. He must have thought Martin was the last name not the middle name lol!
It is a fun memory I have of his birth. I’ll cherish that and that my little Stevie brought so much joy to me when we just learned my daughter became a Type One Diabetic at 3 1/2 years old. He was a funny baby and brought us comfort from my daughter’s diagnosis.
Also remember some of the actual cells from your body remain in his forever so you will always be with him even if it’s not true in physical reach. I just learned about this and it gave me some comfort.
I hope and pray both of our sons come to their senses one day. Have a blessed Sunday and I’ll pray for you too. 🙏❤️🙏 Lana 👉Their guardian angels are walking with them always. Pray to your guardian angel to help them🙏
I hope that you never fully give up. There is always some hope. Our kids say all kinds of things, many of them false and unkind, when they are amidst the indoctrination.
No - hope just keeps Anima in a cycle of despair and disappointment. He wished DEATH upon her for goodness sakes.
There's no saving him - he's in a cult. Best to move on (I know it's hard) and make the best of her life. She can help so many by volunteering, mentoring, raising money for mental health and detransitioners, etc.
Don't get stuck in a loop of "wishing" what was different. It's not helping.
I did not say wish. I said hope. People do get out of cults, and they do recover. When they get out, they need loving family more than ever. Nobody except the parents of our kids will protect hope for them. We can choose to help others, while also maintaining a belief that it’s possible our kid will get out. There is always room for good possibilities and outcomes.
🙏
This brought tears to my eyes because I could've written it myself, other than my son is not in college anymore. You have expressed the truth so well of what we carry inside, 1. the desire to find just the right thing to say or do that will bring them back to reality and love for who they really are, 2. the wish we could go back and start over and not make the same mistakes. Thank-you for putting this all in words.
So beautifully said … I wish you all the best ❤️❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻 I hope someday all of our special, beautiful, angels return to all of us
I can so relate! Especially the part about wanting to start over, fixing whatever mistakes we feel we surely must have made along the way to cause this to happen. Will we ever be able to stop blaming ourselves?
Btw, I have come to the realization that college is the worst place for our kids. It’s a bubble where everybody encourages the trans ideas.
I have not stopped blaming myself, as her mom even though we are told and advised not to blame ourselves. It’s not our fault but I can’t help wondering what I’ve done to cause this unthinkable situation!
In the case of my daughter being away from highschool during the covid lockdowns was the cause, the Reddit and Youtube rabbit holes. For my autistic daughter "trans" became her special interest.
At this point I would be so proud that my kid could actually attend college. She has deteriorated so badly from the drugs she is taking to cope with the side effects of T that she can't even fundamentally function.
I’m very sorry to hear that. It is criminal, how little the providers of this “affirmative care” talk about the side effects.
My child also bailed out of college. Not due to medical issues but mental. So much anxiety in this generation!
Yeah. I get so surprised when I actually see one functioning. I sat next to a couple of young women on a plane over the weekend. One was clearly on T. The other was feminine. Both mid 20s. They were going on a trip for the feminine ones work and she seemed functional and fine, sweet and outgoing. The one on T was actually sitting between us and couldn't even make eye contact with me. I remembered what my own daughter was like before the T and just knew under this anxious surly heap was a wonderful woman trapped by meds.
Colleges are awful but I am not sure how much worse they are than anywhere else. The trans ideas are encouraged everywhere - the jobs, the churches and synagogues, volunteering organizations, even the military is not safe.
I find that in touring colleges with my teenager. The ideology is still strong on campuses.
Don't allow your teen to attend college. Seriously - indoctrination centers.
A precious gift... the day God gave you your son. So so sorry for the grief and the sorrow and all of this, may your heart hold onto the hope that you have in Christ Jesus, and may God bring your son back to you 🩵🙏💗
Thanks. Please pray for us (him). We adore him so much.
💗🙏🩵
Happy birthday to your son.
😢