One day closer…

I can hold onto Hope when I remember we are one day closer…

We are one day closer to our son’s return,
One day closer to his homecoming and our embrace,

One day closer to the day he awakens from his trans-slumber-coma,
One day closer to the end of his chemical self-harm,
One day closer to the return of his beautiful bass voice,
One day closer to singing 80’s songs with his very tone deaf mom,
One day closer to the return of his witty and dry sense of humour,
One day closer to his “cooking in the kitchen with Jamie Oliver” impression,
One day closer to his deep belly laugh,
One day closer to the return of his genuine smile,
One day closer to his bright, kind eyes,
One day closer to his thick beard and his handsome masculine face,
One day closer to a return to health,
One day closer to the healing of his body, mind and spirit,
One day closer to his exchanging rage for peace and joy,
One day closer to reconciliation with his brothers whom he has cut off,
One day closer to hugging his aging and declining grandparents (will he be too late?),
One day closer to a peaceful relationship with his imperfect parents,
One day closer to joining our family for celebrations,
One day closer to meeting his soon-to-be-born niece or nephew,
One day closer till he stops pretending that each step deeper into this madness brings him greater happiness,
One day closer until he realizes that the answer to the pain and trauma we encounter in this world is not to try to become someone you’re not,
One day closer until he realizes that the constant emptiness he feels can only be satisfied by the One who created him,
One day closer until he accepts that he is fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of a loving Heavenly Father,
One day closer to when he accepts that the Truth defeats the lies,
One day closer to his self-acceptance as the brilliant, gifted, funny, sweet, kind amazing young man he truly is,
One day closer to overcoming the hopelessness of this pathway of death,
One day closer to a return to his beloved name,
One day closer to hearing him call me “Mom” again,
One day closer to a deep and meaningful relationship with both his parents,
One day closer to embracing his faith again and living for God who deeply loves him,
One day closer to worshiping together in church,
One day closer to joining his family for lunch on Sunday and engaging in the laughter and fun around the table,
One day closer to recognizing his true identity as a loved son of the Living God,
One day closer to the day he hits bottom,
One day closer to the day he is desperate for change, happiness, rest,
One day closer to his deep regret,
One day closer till he kicks shame and pride to the curb and reaches out for help,
One day closer till he discovers his exhaustion is rooted in his constant need to police, defend, pretend, deny,
One day closer to escaping this death cult,
One day closer till he destroys the idols he worships,
One day closer till he embraces his history instead of denying it,
One day closer to getting real therapy to deal with what is truly at the root of his unhappiness and depression,
One day closer to his return to reality,
One day closer to the healing of broken hearts,
One day closer to the return of the prodigal, we watch and wait with open arms,
One day closer to victory and triumph,
We are one day closer to our son’s return,
One day closer to his homecoming and our embrace,

We hold onto Hope because we are: One. Day. Closer.

We have a God of Hope whom we can trust. He is faithful. He loves my son “J”and He loves us. Oh Jesus, help us wait patiently because today we are one day closer.