Parents are ripped apart no matter what they do

Last night was a fitful night of sleep.  While this has become customary for me, nothing could quiet the ruminations of my mind last night as I replayed the series of discomforting events that had occurred that day.

I received comments from an article I wrote for the Daily Signal. I was essentially called a coward in the comments for not revealing the Catholic school that had a transgender club and refused to call my daughter by her given name. I was told that I was a derelict parent because I could not find another school that is not captured by the gender ideology.  I was called a “liar” for stating that the Catholic church is captured by the gender ideology, even though I had barged into the local bishop’s luncheon and he ignored me.  I even called the nearby bishops and the head of the Catholic diocese of schools for weeks with no return calls or emails.  I was the villain, not the bishops of Minnesota, who removed their thoughtful instructions that Catholic schools harm children with social transition.  

From the other side, in response to a related article that I wrote, I was told that I am a child abuser.  That my “son” should run away.  That Child Protective Services should come to my house. I should never have been a parent. The trans-radical activists discussed where I might live and how to find me.  I was called a bigot and a transphobe.

I no longer get invited on the morning walks with my friends, because I have become a bore as I cannot stomach normal banter anymore.  My mind constantly swirls about what we can do to combat gender indoctrination. My husband asked me to please stop reading and working on this gender stuff all day. My mother-in-law eviscerated me for missing my daughter’s homecoming dance in order to participate in a protest in another state.  

I can handle all of that criticism. It rolls off of my back. But, what I cannot handle is being donkey punched by my own people.    

I read the stinging comments to It’s Strategy People!!! where people – people I respected -  tore into each other in an almost exultant manner.  It immensely saddened me and eliminated all my usual optimistic outlook of the progress in this movement in the last year.  It made me close up my computer and stop writing my presentation to school board hopefuls.  Why bother working so hard when our army is fine eating their own? How can we possibly prevail if we don’t work together, and set some differences aside?

I am not a Republican, but I am working with them.  I am not a lesbian, but my inner circle contains many.  I am not conservative, yet I write for those papers.  I do not ascribe to everything the feminists do, but I protest with them and volunteer for their organizations. I am not a staunch Catholic yet I donate to religious groups combatting this ideology. I do not agree with most of what Laura Edwards Leeper or Erica Anderson state, nor will I forgive them for the harms they perpetrated on pre-adolescents, but I am grateful that they have opened the door for discussion.  One has to realize that Anderson being a transwoman gave cover for main stream newspapers to post the Op-Ed.  

I did not like the chapter on Buck Angel in Abigail Shrier’s book, but that book prevented me from making irreversible decisions for my daughter’s life. I do not always like the lightness and giddiness of the Wider Lens or the choice of guests, but that does not mean that I don’t use the many helpful nuggets of advice. I do not always like some of the conservative nature of Advocates Protecting Children, but I use their resources constantly.  

I do not like that some groups putting forth legislation banning trans medicine are also all the groups that were against same-sex marriage, but I help them.  I do not blame everything on the patriarchy but I volunteer in the groups that do. I don’t think Benjamin Boyce is perfect, but I listen to his podcasts.  Jesse Singal believes in true trans, which I do not support, but he can rip apart studies like no other.

Some parents find solace in talking to transsexuals and need their advice.  And whether we want to admit or not, some of our children will medicalize and will live as the opposite sex and we will have to know and learn how to continue to love them. And we need to accept the painful reality of that, due to pervasive institutional capture, parents stand to lose everything if we are not cautious in our approach.

We all have our roles to play. So, let’s play our roles and not throw the baby out with the bathwater. We don’t need to agree on everything all of the time; just some of things, some of the times. We are surrounded on all sides and if we take down the few bold and brave people willing to stick their necks out, we might as well all surrender. And that’s something I think we can all agree we hope never to do.