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Mom First's avatar

We carry so many moments, snapshots of their life, in our minds and in our hearts. The word deadname I hate the most. You cannot and will not kill my memories. You cannot and will not take my heart and my love. I won’t allow it. We cannot let them win.

I’m glad to hear he’s living as a man now, and I pray you’ll reconnect and you’ll have new Facebook memories together.

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Not so young anymore.'s avatar

As a Jewish person of faith I was brought up with a strong sense of right and wrong but not a lot of understanding of Satan. However I will truly say this because I believe it. The trans cult is the work of Satan.

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Heather Boersma's avatar

Being a parent of a trans child can feel isolating because you don’t want to share such a depressing struggle or even reveal your disappointment in who your child has become. I think there are more of us than we know. I almost feel like posting before and after photos on trans visibility day for people to see how disfiguring this cult actually is. But it’s a private struggle for most of us.

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Mama07's avatar

I so relate to this "I fled because I didn’t want people to say “how are you?” What do you say when your heart is bleeding from sorrow and no one can really understand what that feels like?"

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Marie's avatar

Update from author: Son is still estranged from us (5 years) but he is living now as a man - in his male identity. Though we are sad by the continued estrangement, we are so thankful to God that he stopped his transition and has gone back to living as his real sex.

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Heather Boersma's avatar

That is amazing! We must thank God for this transition back to truth.

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Heartbrokenmom's avatar

I’m thankful to hear he has gone back to presenting as a man. Praying for restoration of your relationship. I can feel your pain. Last year I attended a church service at a church in a state my kids grew up in and realized during the singing that one of the members of the praise team on stage was one of my daughter’s church friends growing up. It made me so sad to see in living flesh what my daughter is not being and doing. This girl is so sweet and healthy and living for God. I did talk to her after church but got choked up from the grief.

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Mercy's avatar

Soooo thankful!! What was his path back to sanity and why are you still estranged? It would be wonderful to hear that story. I have a son that desisted as well. I pray that your son returns to relationship with his family. We kept our experience private, so we did not have the support of our church community, and it was very painful. But your experience showed that even when sharing the burden with believers who care, it is a painful, lonely journey. Don’t lose hope. God is faithful and He is a good, good father.

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Marie's avatar

IDK why he’s still estranged. I also don’t know the reasons for his detransition (he was on hormones for 3-4 years). All I know and have seen from a distant point of view is that he is living, presenting and dressing as a man with a mustache and a beard.

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Mercy's avatar

Thank you. I’ll pray for restoration.

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Teri's avatar
2dEdited

Thank you for this heartfelt article and for offering your experience to us. You’re right about finding consolation and comfort in a group of parents who share the same grief over their children. Also agree with @MK on fighting the good fight until the day of return of our Lord Jesus Christ who is right beside us in this battle.

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Christa's avatar

Living this phrase in 2026: It feels like... "my family alone is living in the middle of our lives being broken by a cult, that we have a broken child who is systematically breaking his own body down because he’s looking for a cure for his broken heart and that we are surrounded by a society that tells him he will fix himself by breaking himself down." Amen sister.

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Paving the Way's avatar

We are going to attempt to create a psychotherapy freedom act in Idaho this session to allow therapists to ask better questions and get youth to slow down instead of having to confirm their cult-inspired self-definitions. That will lead to the repeal of Conversion Therapy laws nationwide.

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Average Dad's avatar

I got teary reading this, same, been there, it is crushing, the part where you see your child's friends who now have lives, jobs, spouses and children of their own. I find the most pain when I see a few of those friends and parents who encouraged my daughter to become a man and applauded at the removal of her breasts and the growth of her beard. Not enough people said no. I believe they may have changed their mind some on this issue of late, but the damage is done to my once beautiful daughter who had such a great singing voice and who could play anything on the piano, guitar or drums by ear. She was also so good at math and a good athlete as well. I have spoken to her twice recently around Thanksgiving and after Christmas, each encounter only lasted a few minutes at most as the pain she has self inflicted on her body and mind burns her to see us her parents too much it seems. She fled from us like a demon encountering a believer. It's truly crushing, as a man I can put things in "boxes" and pull them out when needed for study and contemplation, for my wife it is much harder for her to put it away for a few moments and not have it hanging over her like Damocles sword. Without Jesus and a few friends I don't know how we could have made it together, the pain is so great. It has brought us closer as a couple but not in a good way other than reinforcing that we need to be each others rock and shield. I pray for all of us and all of our Prodigal children, come home, restore your families, let healing begin, humans are so resilient, I know this can be overcome.

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Heather Boersma's avatar

Keep the faith!

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Average Dad's avatar

faith and hope

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Mama Ain't Playin''s avatar

Is there an update on this woman’s son & family after 4-1/2 years? Is he still trans-identified? Has he detransitioned? Did he come home for Christmas?

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Marie's avatar

Update from author: Son is still estranged from us (5 years) but he is living now as a man - in his male identity. Though we are sad by the continued estrangement, we are so thankful to God that he stopped his transition and has gone back to living as his real sex.

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Mama Ain't Playin''s avatar

Thank you so much for your response. I'm very sorry to hear you're still estranged, but thank goodness for his detransition/desistance--for his own sake as well as the sake of everyone he knows. He is on a more reality-based path now; perhaps with a little more time and maturity, he will return to the family who continues to love him and want the best for him.

Kids with autism are frequently emotionally/socially delayed. Whereas a neurotypical teen or young adult will come around to acknowledge parental wisdom and protection by their early to mid-20s, he may just take a little longer. By my calculations he's only 25 or 26 now. It will be very difficult for him come to terms with the damage he's done to you and your family, but he may get there.

This cult is so damaging of the very fabric of our society. The family is the only institution left that hasn't been completely chopped up, liquified, and sold back to us as consumers. We have to defend families and family life valiantly. Trans is the tip of the spear for destroying the core of family life, reproduction, children, and generations. It wants to replace bodily health and integrity with plastic surgery disasters, infertility, lonliness, and death. You are brave to hold tight to reality. I hope your church family continues to love and support you. I'm praying for you.

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Marie's avatar

Thank you! 🙏

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rejoicinginhope's avatar

I am so sorry for your broken heart. I'm sorry there are so many of us whose hearts are broken for the same reasons.... 🩵🙏❤️

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Evangeline's avatar

Beautifully written but so tragic - bless you

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Alibaba's avatar

Got the phone call yesterday that my daughter is moving forward with hormone treatment. When will this nightmare end? I had to fire the therapist I hired to help me cope with the grief after she said “you’re only upset because YOU didn’t get the opportunity to buy your daughter basketball shorts.”

I went for grief counseling and she tried to persuade me to believe in the delusion. The way therapy is approached with trans folks has got to change. Affirmation is not the answer and no one will ever change my mind about that.

My daughter was so beautiful in and out. I wish the folks that affirmed her could see how perfect she was to begin with.

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Eva's avatar

I'm so sorry to hear that. My heart goes out to you. I'm so terrified my daughter may choose to do that...

You may have luck finding the right therapist at https://www.conservativecounselors.com/ - I did.

And as someone else mentioned, Stephanie Wynn's ROGD Repair course can be helpful with understanding the teenagers and young adults caught up in this cult beast and it teaches communication tools for conversations with our children https://course.rogdrepair.com/

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Teri's avatar

Please know that not all therapists support the and usher kids and parents in to the trans agenda,

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Alexander Joseph Hamburger's avatar

This is so painful and overwhelming. So sad this is happening. When a child falls into sex rejection, that shakes your entire family, and destroys your dreams. You deserve space to process it without being mocked or belittled.

You deserve a therapist who will sit with you in grief instead of dismissing it or turning it into a punchline.

You’re seeing the child you love make a disastrous choice. Everything about her shifting in disastrous ways. You shouldn’t have to pretend otherwise.

At the root of this evil is the continuing fraud that transitioning is a “medical” procedure.

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Average Dad's avatar

Seek Stephanie Winn @sometherapist on X and she has a website, she also has a free AI chat on her website that I have used and it is very good. You are correct! Fight for your children and your sanity, women cannot be men and vice versa.

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Mama Ain't Playin''s avatar

Repsychopatholgize now.

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Linda Grajewski's avatar

Therapists have become a huge part of the problem!

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Lunafalls's avatar

Absolutely. What are therapists being taught these days? Encouraging young people to "go no contact" with their own families, who are being labeled "toxic" for the most petty, flimsy reasons. It's not only trans people; many others are also being encouraged by therapists to separate from their families. Didn't preservation of family relationships used to be a good thing? Now it's all about their destruction.

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jensz's avatar

Love this - I feel the exact same way and behave the exact same way sometimes. Thank you for sharing it so clearly. You are definitely not alone - and I am sad - mixed with glad - mixed with grief - mixed with loneliness that we are not alone.

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Hopeful Mom's avatar

Well said!! I can relate to what you said so much! It creates such a sadness, loneliness and grief for us parents that no one else fully understands. I’m so glad you have the support of your church and God’s loving hand in you. We will continue to fight the good fight until the end of times!! You are not alone!

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DulyNoted's avatar

Given the longevity of this insanity, this piece will remain timeless.

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