Scratching the Surface (The Candidate)

Years ago, my husband collaborated with a major university to research the strategies behind successful public service campaigns. They concluded that the best way to effect change in adult behavior is through their children; To reach the adult, educate the child. I thought about this recently after a conversation with a woman who is running for Congress in my district. She called me because I supported her 2020 campaign when she ran as a “Woman of Science”. Before pledging my support again, I wanted to know where she stood on an issue that was being handled with shocking recklessness and ideological fervor by our party: the issue of trans ideology. The Democratic party’s blind support of pseudoscientific policies and their enactment of activist-led laws and mandates were hurting a lot of families in our district. I asked The Candidate, where did she stand?

Awkward silence, and then she told me something that was utterly clarifying: her own adult child is now trans. Then she began to recite, point by point, all the trans propaganda that I had just spent five years researching and debunking. All the oldies but baddies were there:

• Biology is a spectrum (it’s not: neither DSDs nor clownfish change that fact)

• Trans health care is lifesaving (actually, the opposite may be true)

• Our children will kill themselves if they are not affirmed (except this claim has been shown over and over to have little merit and no supporting data)

• Regret is rare (No, it’s probably quite high and growing, though impossible to measure accurately at the moment)

• ROGD is a flawed, reactionary invention by a transphobic researcher (except Lisa Littman is being proven correct)

• Trans healthcare is evidence-based by WPATH and endorsed by all major medical associations (Since speaking to her, the WPATH Files were released, and there is nothing that Trans activists can say to disprove that gender-affirming care is malpractice)

The conversation was civil, but I quickly realized that if this ‘Woman of Science’ had read the same materials as me- a woman most definitely not of science (ironically, I work in the humanities)- and had been unable to see the gaping holes and contradictions in the material, then it meant that her child had taken her so far down the rabbit hole, she is now beyond reason or return. It dawned on me that this is how our society was captured: through the devotion of intelligent and caring people who want nothing more than to support a loved one, and for that, they are willing to believe in myths and distort our most basic truths. For some, it becomes a quasi-religion that they must unleash on society.

So why am I telling you this? Ultimately, this is a warning:

I want to warn parents that when you walk into any room, office, school, friend or family home, even houses of worship, do not ever assume that people are going to be rational, tempered, or reasonable about this topic. Do not ever assume that anyone is on your same page, because often, if you scratch the surface, you will discover that someone in their life has already distorted their view. Be especially careful around those with power over you: doctors, teachers and school administrators, therapists, social workers, police, staff at care facilities, family members who will triangulate, etc, etc. These people think that unless you agree with their bonkers beliefs, they are wholly justified in undermining your parental authority and intervening without your knowledge or consent in the life of your child. It used to be sketchy and illegal for adults to collude with children, but now it’s just the policy of the Department of Education. Parents should always investigate and ask questions to understand who they are dealing with and adjust their demeanor and strategy accordingly. Never take for granted the sanity of adults. There are plenty of ways to support people with gender issues that don’t require advocating for fantastical affirmations and radical medical interventions. Go slow, listen to your instincts, and make sure that your loved one unequivocally understands that no one cares for them more than you.

As Helen Joyce often states, there are also those who have no direct impact on your life, but who may influence society greatly through their activism. This force is invisible but far reaching, and explains how trans ideology came to be everything everywhere and all at once: movie stars and producers, judges, presidents of vital medical, professional, and outreach organizations, journalists and writers, activists, politicians, and yes, even POTUSes. You may not interact with them, but it is they who are weaving their loved one’s fictions into our everyday reality. We must become aware of these people and challenge them publicly however we can.

Another warning is to those participating in this charade who deny that this is a social contagion: If you think that it's a natural phenomenon (cue the left-handed comparison), and like The Candidate, you find yourself unspooling complicated justifications for your beliefs, than perhaps you are also caught up in the contagion (by proxy, as doctors call it). You too, are inside the rabbit hole. I know you got there as a companion of someone you love, but ask yourself this: if you are wrong and your loved one is in distress, how is continuing on this illusionary and experimental ride going to help? Isn’t it better to open your mind and seek real answers? Can you imagine the harm you are causing if you are wrong? Can you critically think your way out of your conditioning? Isn’t it worth trying?

Lastly, to those who feel compelled to intervene in our children’s lives: If you cared about child development then you would know how detrimental it is to rupture a secure attachment by convincing a struggling child that their parent or home is unsafe. Are you prepared to take responsibility for that? Or for our children in 2, 5, 10 years? Are you going to be there for them shall they experience regret?Complications? Are you going to support them if they fail to develop relationships, careers, and an overall sense of well-being? This is what many parents are coping with right now, all while being vilified and handicapped by useful idiots like you.

Your intervention has often meant that our kids were led up a very steep mountain, only to be abandoned at the pinnacle with no parachute nor escape chute. But guess who they call when they hit a bump on the ‘glitter journey’ you helped to set them on? In the scandal that now seems inevitable when the contagion dissipates, are you going to admit to complicity, to apologize, to pay for your mistake in judgement? If not, then I suggest you re-examine your position and think about why meddling in the lives of others is so important to you. Work on yourself and make yourself whole. And stay away from our kids, including our young adults.

Everyday more evidence emerges to buttress parent’s long-held arguments against gender-affirming care. Just now, the Cass Review, the systematic review of evidence commissioned by the UK health authorities, was published. A few points amongst its comprehensive findings that I feel vindicate us include:

• Psychological support is the first response and emphatically is not conversion therapy.

• Treating co-morbidities such as depression, anxiety or assessing ASD is paramount, while concentrating on gender dysphoria is detrimental.

• Suicide rate of cohort is the same as cohort with mental health issues.

• WPATH industry standards are activist driven and not evidence-based.

• Lying to children (affirmation) and social transition without care and thought or the participation of the family causes real harm.

Of course TRAs have already attacked the document and its principal, however, it really does seem iron-clad.

I recently looked up The Candidate’s new website. The word mother has displaced scientist in her campaign materials, a symbolic, if not subconscious recognition of what she’s had to give up for her child. It is her right, but I think it is too sad that our society did not give her a pathway to reconcile both. I have my own right as a mother, and I will resist granting power to those who are misguided in their intentions, and blind to evidence and truth. It is time for us to stand up to these proselytizng bullies, these agents of maladaptation and disruption, and to fight for the well-being of our young. So next time you walk into those rooms unsure of who you will meet, do not be afraid! Be armed with information, courage, and resolve because the truth is getting harder to ignore.