Exactly my situation. If I ignore the makeup and female school uniform… he’s a delight to have around, funny and engaged. Working, doing well at school and has been accepted to a good university next year… but I’ve been told the same. He hates me and will never talk to me again the day he turns 18.. I have 9 months to go. I feel sick with dread all the time. We’ve never affirmed either…
So I would be interested in what other parents with trans children think. As an outsider, my thought is that the question should be asked and addressed about his future plans. This might be the only chance to talk about his plans because once on campus, he will be in control.
I would try to encourage a gap year. Colleges are a cesspool. Go to Campus Pride and look around. Almost 4k colleges are members of the American Council on Education (ACE). ACE is a huge proponent of the lgbtq+ agenda at hand. I have written about this and it is no joke. My piece was called -Educational Datamining for Synthetic Futures. At 18 (19 maybe under Trump) nothing changes for those perpetuating this. Sure - in the long run hopefully clientele desiring to 'fix' their sexed bodies will dry up. But, on the other hand, there is massive private funding going into the agenda. The technocrats do not want a world based on the dichotomy of the sexes and yes, under Trump he is working hand in hand with them.
There are 400 or so colleges listed here but do not for a second think that if your school is not here, it is not involved. It most likely is.
My son's announcement that he was trans closely followed the heartbreak of betrayal from the girl he was head over heels for. They had dated for about a year before she revealed that she was bringing along another boyfriend on their big New Year's Eve date. To say he was crushed was an understatement. Somehow he must have rationalized that making the shift to just being her friend was okay. He was (and still is) a sensitive, ADHD kid. He immediately told us he was gay, then a couple of months later, trans. I didn't know she had started giving him clothes to wear and a purse to carry. He was not presenting in any different way around us. This girl saw herself as a social justice warrior while she slept her way through his friend group. His life totally unraveled and he rewrote his memories, just as you say. This was also in his senior year and he had just turned 18. It is natural to want to blame this girl for everything but there were so many factors at play. Unfortunately, he did not desist and he did not successfully implement his crazy plan to socially transition at college that fall. He lasted only a couple of weeks before the self-destructiveness began. But, that was a different time and place. It was 2014 and Laverne Cox was on the cover of Vanity Fair, soon followed by the face of Caitlyn Jenner on every magazine in the grocery checkout line. Today things are beginning to change and there are many resources like GWL & Genspect to offer knowledge, support and encouragement. This new legislation is a step in the right direction, too. You have every reason to hope, and I pray that his desistance is permanent. Keep love-bombing him but remain vigilant, especially if college is on the horizon.
Thank you for sharing your story. There is always hope. My single thought is to maintain the love and connection above everything else. The relationship is valuable to both of you.
Cling to hope. Our 18 year old went out and got a tattoo on her birthday, a ‘boy’ type on the back of her upper right arm. She still presents as a boy at work using a boy name. Surely no one is fooled. She is petite and has beautiful skin. She can do anything with her hair. She’s got the bull ring in her nose. But she still has periods and such girly emotions to go along with it, so we still have hope. She is very involved with a girl, no question she is girl. No doubt she is fully aware that her girlfriend is not a boy! I’m hoping our girl just discovers that she is a same sex attracted female. The trans cult is relentless. She is soon to be 19, and planning to move across the country and take her girlfriend with her. We 🙏🏼 daily We hope she stays connected with us. We lover her dearly.
We have given her so much room to desist. We continue to pray her eyes open to the truth that you cannot change your sex.
At this point we put our trust in God. We cannot control her, but we can always love ❤️
“You revoked all your love and refused to even acknowledge the past you, the past friends, the past family. You rewrote all your memories to suit your new fantasy. You cut us out, cut us through with your hate, cut yourself and blamed it on us for refusing to affirm your new identity.”
I am sorry for what you are going through, but I really wish PITT parents could navigate these issues without blaming girls for their son's struggles. Saying things like "...when that first girlfriend tore you apart. You wouldn’t tell me what she did or said..." seems like a very unhealthy mindset that holds women responsible for men's unhappiness. Girls have a right to break up with boys and to move on from relationships that aren't working for them. High school relationships are not and never have been permanent. I understand you're hurting right now, but a large part of the trans movement is centered around forcing women to respect mens' needs more than their own, thus I respectfully feel I have to push back a little on that. Wishing you the best and healing for you and your son.
While I get your point, I don’t believe the essay is making any indictment on girls nor blaming them in any general sense for boys’ feelings. This is clearly a specific example of the effect of ONE girl’s words or actions on a specific boy’s attitudes. In high school, the first girl I had a sexual encounter with said some insensitive things (flippantly and likely without any intention of harm) that shook me to my core and forever manifested in psychological and physical changes. Specifically she made fun of me as a guy (15 years old) almost ejaculating too quickly which forever made me try to fight that urge to the point where it soon took an inordinately long time to ejaculate. Literally my brain got rewired based on comments made when I was at a vulnerable age, and when I was not emotionally ready to deal with the urges my body had. In no way would I ever blame women or girls in general for how I felt, but I take it as a fact that a specific girl’s comments (and she was much more experienced than I was) had a remarkable effect on my psyche. And I don’t blame her either; I just accept it as a fact that her words DID have a big influence on me. I think generalizing is bad and wrong. But relaying specific true events is necessary. In this case I trust that the parent did notice specific changes in her son after the break up described. I think if we shame people for relaying true, case-specific events then we cannot have an honest conversation. In this specific case, the girl is described as a “social justice warrior” and it sounds like she’s taken on the role of being sexual with a friend group and then diagnosing them according to her own set of values. I do not believe her specific actions should be swept under the carpet in an effort to prove that girls/women cannot possibly have an effect on boys’ feelings/actions. And of course the converse is true…many boys have said and don’t things that affect girls’ thoughts and behaviors. A really funny movie called “You Are So Not Invited to my Bat Mitzvah” does a great job of showing a boy who manipulates and coerces girls into physical things that they’re not ready for, and how that affects their behavior and emotions.
In short: I think generalizing is bad. I think relaying case-specific observable facts is good and important.
Despite most of them having no idea, girls at this age hold all the cards. It is the burden of boys to somehow win their heart. But girls also have to follow their own heart and look out for their own best interests. If they need to break up with a boy, it is often impossible to do this without breaking a heart. A lot of young boys/men are impossibly sensitive to rejection. I think the author has simply reported on this factually. No ones fault. That's life. That's growing up.
As someone who was a girl that age, I certainly didn't feel I held many cards in the dating world. Many girls have their hearts broken by boys, are taken advantage of, are manipulated and pressured into things that they don't want to do, are humiliated in romantic situations, are acutely sensitive to rejection, and so on. It is entirely a two way street. Men and boys absolutely have a fair amount of power in our society and in our culture and I say this as the mother of four sons that I would do anything to protect.
I am not trying to be in any way insensitive. I am finding the tendency I have seen amongst some parents of MtF trans children to blame high school girls for what happened to their families to be troubling and worthy of pushing back on. That's all. Girls are at least half, if not more than half, of the children at present being manipulated into being trans, and it does not behoove PITT parents to encourage shaming of normal female dating behavior in children.
I found out later what she did, and it was plenty wretched and disgusting. But she was lost in a way herself so it was just the first domino to fall. There were plenty of others far more culpable who lured him in.
I don't know what happened between this boy and girl. As a parent of a daughter, I do know that there are many middle school and high school girls that engage in extreme online bullying. Many are happy to cheer on trans identities--to have that power.
I’m so sorry for your worry and pain— it is familiar. Prayers for you that your son escapes this horror.
Exactly my situation. If I ignore the makeup and female school uniform… he’s a delight to have around, funny and engaged. Working, doing well at school and has been accepted to a good university next year… but I’ve been told the same. He hates me and will never talk to me again the day he turns 18.. I have 9 months to go. I feel sick with dread all the time. We’ve never affirmed either…
So much pain. You are not alone.
I'm so sorry, I understand your grief and pray for you and your child. God bless you
This! This describes my Junior in College.
Praying, dear one.
Love, Indio
So I would be interested in what other parents with trans children think. As an outsider, my thought is that the question should be asked and addressed about his future plans. This might be the only chance to talk about his plans because once on campus, he will be in control.
I would try to encourage a gap year. Colleges are a cesspool. Go to Campus Pride and look around. Almost 4k colleges are members of the American Council on Education (ACE). ACE is a huge proponent of the lgbtq+ agenda at hand. I have written about this and it is no joke. My piece was called -Educational Datamining for Synthetic Futures. At 18 (19 maybe under Trump) nothing changes for those perpetuating this. Sure - in the long run hopefully clientele desiring to 'fix' their sexed bodies will dry up. But, on the other hand, there is massive private funding going into the agenda. The technocrats do not want a world based on the dichotomy of the sexes and yes, under Trump he is working hand in hand with them.
There are 400 or so colleges listed here but do not for a second think that if your school is not here, it is not involved. It most likely is.
https://campusprideindex.org/
This is sad and I hope for the best for the author and child. This is the type of child I would keep on a short leash once they leave for college.
My son's announcement that he was trans closely followed the heartbreak of betrayal from the girl he was head over heels for. They had dated for about a year before she revealed that she was bringing along another boyfriend on their big New Year's Eve date. To say he was crushed was an understatement. Somehow he must have rationalized that making the shift to just being her friend was okay. He was (and still is) a sensitive, ADHD kid. He immediately told us he was gay, then a couple of months later, trans. I didn't know she had started giving him clothes to wear and a purse to carry. He was not presenting in any different way around us. This girl saw herself as a social justice warrior while she slept her way through his friend group. His life totally unraveled and he rewrote his memories, just as you say. This was also in his senior year and he had just turned 18. It is natural to want to blame this girl for everything but there were so many factors at play. Unfortunately, he did not desist and he did not successfully implement his crazy plan to socially transition at college that fall. He lasted only a couple of weeks before the self-destructiveness began. But, that was a different time and place. It was 2014 and Laverne Cox was on the cover of Vanity Fair, soon followed by the face of Caitlyn Jenner on every magazine in the grocery checkout line. Today things are beginning to change and there are many resources like GWL & Genspect to offer knowledge, support and encouragement. This new legislation is a step in the right direction, too. You have every reason to hope, and I pray that his desistance is permanent. Keep love-bombing him but remain vigilant, especially if college is on the horizon.
Thank you for sharing your story. There is always hope. My single thought is to maintain the love and connection above everything else. The relationship is valuable to both of you.
Cling to hope. Our 18 year old went out and got a tattoo on her birthday, a ‘boy’ type on the back of her upper right arm. She still presents as a boy at work using a boy name. Surely no one is fooled. She is petite and has beautiful skin. She can do anything with her hair. She’s got the bull ring in her nose. But she still has periods and such girly emotions to go along with it, so we still have hope. She is very involved with a girl, no question she is girl. No doubt she is fully aware that her girlfriend is not a boy! I’m hoping our girl just discovers that she is a same sex attracted female. The trans cult is relentless. She is soon to be 19, and planning to move across the country and take her girlfriend with her. We 🙏🏼 daily We hope she stays connected with us. We lover her dearly.
We have given her so much room to desist. We continue to pray her eyes open to the truth that you cannot change your sex.
At this point we put our trust in God. We cannot control her, but we can always love ❤️
I used parental monitoring software in 2007 to confirm my son was accessing filthy homoerotic chats on Meebo, Myspace, etc.
By then it was too late to slow his descent into trans, but at least I identified the problem.
You gotta snoop. And diaries are fair game.
Reposted these fitting words:
“You revoked all your love and refused to even acknowledge the past you, the past friends, the past family. You rewrote all your memories to suit your new fantasy. You cut us out, cut us through with your hate, cut yourself and blamed it on us for refusing to affirm your new identity.”
Congratulations! It’s a boymoder!
I am sorry for what you are going through, but I really wish PITT parents could navigate these issues without blaming girls for their son's struggles. Saying things like "...when that first girlfriend tore you apart. You wouldn’t tell me what she did or said..." seems like a very unhealthy mindset that holds women responsible for men's unhappiness. Girls have a right to break up with boys and to move on from relationships that aren't working for them. High school relationships are not and never have been permanent. I understand you're hurting right now, but a large part of the trans movement is centered around forcing women to respect mens' needs more than their own, thus I respectfully feel I have to push back a little on that. Wishing you the best and healing for you and your son.
While I get your point, I don’t believe the essay is making any indictment on girls nor blaming them in any general sense for boys’ feelings. This is clearly a specific example of the effect of ONE girl’s words or actions on a specific boy’s attitudes. In high school, the first girl I had a sexual encounter with said some insensitive things (flippantly and likely without any intention of harm) that shook me to my core and forever manifested in psychological and physical changes. Specifically she made fun of me as a guy (15 years old) almost ejaculating too quickly which forever made me try to fight that urge to the point where it soon took an inordinately long time to ejaculate. Literally my brain got rewired based on comments made when I was at a vulnerable age, and when I was not emotionally ready to deal with the urges my body had. In no way would I ever blame women or girls in general for how I felt, but I take it as a fact that a specific girl’s comments (and she was much more experienced than I was) had a remarkable effect on my psyche. And I don’t blame her either; I just accept it as a fact that her words DID have a big influence on me. I think generalizing is bad and wrong. But relaying specific true events is necessary. In this case I trust that the parent did notice specific changes in her son after the break up described. I think if we shame people for relaying true, case-specific events then we cannot have an honest conversation. In this specific case, the girl is described as a “social justice warrior” and it sounds like she’s taken on the role of being sexual with a friend group and then diagnosing them according to her own set of values. I do not believe her specific actions should be swept under the carpet in an effort to prove that girls/women cannot possibly have an effect on boys’ feelings/actions. And of course the converse is true…many boys have said and don’t things that affect girls’ thoughts and behaviors. A really funny movie called “You Are So Not Invited to my Bat Mitzvah” does a great job of showing a boy who manipulates and coerces girls into physical things that they’re not ready for, and how that affects their behavior and emotions.
In short: I think generalizing is bad. I think relaying case-specific observable facts is good and important.
Despite most of them having no idea, girls at this age hold all the cards. It is the burden of boys to somehow win their heart. But girls also have to follow their own heart and look out for their own best interests. If they need to break up with a boy, it is often impossible to do this without breaking a heart. A lot of young boys/men are impossibly sensitive to rejection. I think the author has simply reported on this factually. No ones fault. That's life. That's growing up.
As someone who was a girl that age, I certainly didn't feel I held many cards in the dating world. Many girls have their hearts broken by boys, are taken advantage of, are manipulated and pressured into things that they don't want to do, are humiliated in romantic situations, are acutely sensitive to rejection, and so on. It is entirely a two way street. Men and boys absolutely have a fair amount of power in our society and in our culture and I say this as the mother of four sons that I would do anything to protect.
I am not trying to be in any way insensitive. I am finding the tendency I have seen amongst some parents of MtF trans children to blame high school girls for what happened to their families to be troubling and worthy of pushing back on. That's all. Girls are at least half, if not more than half, of the children at present being manipulated into being trans, and it does not behoove PITT parents to encourage shaming of normal female dating behavior in children.
I found out later what she did, and it was plenty wretched and disgusting. But she was lost in a way herself so it was just the first domino to fall. There were plenty of others far more culpable who lured him in.
I don't know what happened between this boy and girl. As a parent of a daughter, I do know that there are many middle school and high school girls that engage in extreme online bullying. Many are happy to cheer on trans identities--to have that power.