Love this! It's written with humour and pathos combined. So refreshing when so many of us mired in this horrible situation can only see the sadness and frustration. A little swearing certainly helps even in the most dire of situations. You're like the kid who let the fact that the emperor had no clothes out of the bag!
He's not little. He's 21 now. He came out at 16, went to college at 18, I have neither heard from or seen since then. I don't think I did anything wrong - I tried. But I guess he knew that I could not believe that men can be women. I love and miss him every day.
Especially poignant is this author's experience with her daughter. And her description of how she turned to Medical "professionals" who had no intention of really helping her or her daughter, but instead can invoke state legislation against both. Legislation that wields punitive powers over your in-office responses. This is particularly true in "Progressive" states that have passed new laws, like California, "protecting" teens by removing them from the custody of their loving parents who are perceived as "non-affirming". Parents who don't want their kids to be brain-washed, sterilized and mutilated.
Dear Hecate Roads: So glad to have read it. Unbelievable, yet "Sci-Fi" fiction authors were preparing us for this kind of unbelievable stuff, and bio-hacked humans over 100 years ago. I'm impressed with your talent, and the way you write using today's references and "Slang" about super serious sh-t. Does your handle, Hecate Roads refer to Hades?
Thanks so much, Momma Bear. I'm new at writing and really appreciate your feedback. I was referencing both Hecate (goddess of crossroads) and the stoic, Hector of Rhodes. Centuries ago, he asked, "Have you learned to befriend yourself?" Trust yourself. :)
I don't mean to hijack this thread & if this isn't allowed/deleted I understand; my daughter is basically the same as all these similar girls' stories-ADHD, COVID lockdowns, exposure to misogynistic anime, porn, God knows what else, encouraged by insane mental health practitioners. She moved out over 2 years ago bc we would not allow new names/pronouns or T injections etc we said she needed to be FULLY ABLE to support herself & have insurance etc if she wanted to make adult decisions & enjoy adult privileges she needed to be an adult. SO she moved in with a couple of guys we assumed were gay. Anyway of course fast forward now it's she & one of the fellas are a couple & minimally employed in menial dead end jobs but both identify as trans & are doing cross sex hormones etc. SO now they want to move in with us bc they can't pay their bills. She is 25 & he is older. No effort to get better jobs, pot smoking, drinking, no plan for a better way forward. I said NO WAY is he moving in with her but she can move back in. Hubz is ready to let them both move in! I am in a real life soap opera & I want out.
I'm really sorry you are going through this. I wonder if someone who specializes in cult deprogramming could help you. I think it's hopeful that she wants to come home.
The older man she is with is bad. No way he should move in with you. Drinking and pot smoking? How long until he is in a car crash or stealing from you. He will eat your food and stain your carpets. When his mood changes and he starts yelling at you, then what?
I think you're absolutely right. Also, has your husband no idea of what is actually going on? Forgive me, but he sounds clueless. He should have to read PITT articles, a daily dose until he (hopefully) comes around.
Yes he does, honestly, my marriage is really struggling bc I work long night shifts & when the kids were young I begged him not to ignore them & leave them in their rooms on their devices, I wanted to get rid of all of it, but he's an IT guy & works from home so he had to have internet, the irony, a network engineer, I kept begging him to put parental controls etc & this is why we are where we are now-then when we said she needed to get off the computer & come out of her room during COVID the hysterics & suicidal threats started so we went to the psychiatrists & counselors-what a mistake!!! We got the "would you rather have a dead daughter or a live son? gaslighting but I immediately saw it as the evil it really is & told them to pound salt! Oh if I could only go back in time knowing what I know now!! My gut told me to do something drastic to snap her out of this but I was like a deer in the headlights.
Me too. I knew I was losing my daughter during the COVID-19 Pandemic, but being a single parent and working long hospital hours , I didn’t know what to do. I wish I could go back snd do things differently… maybe I could have saved her.
I very much sympathize. Just don't blame yourself for the mistake of taking her to the psychiatrists and counselors. We were brought up to believe in the integrity and intelligence of the professionals. Who could have foreseen the ideological capture of the medical and psychiatric institutions? And parents have to be on the same page to even have a chance against the insanity. Your fears about the internet were obviously warranted, even prescient. As the father of a son, I have a certain sympathy for the confused/lost boy in this case, but I just don't see how you're going to save your daughter if he moves in with her.
Yes I do feel badly for him he seems sweet but lost but I know they are in a self imposed echo chamber reinforcing each other’s delusions. I can’t risk our future lives taking on more than I can deal with.
It's probably unfair, but at this point, I suspect every child psychiatrist of being an idiot until proven otherwise. Sorry not sorry. It's actually one of the least competitive medical fields anyway. Yes, there are some good ones, but they are few and far between.
It still amazes me HOW exactly alike these girls' stories are!! What a nightmare of a perfect storm we have created for these kids. Forever disgusted at the absolute failure of the supposed "experts" in child/adolescent development that they could not see this for the Trojan Horse/House of Cards it really is. These poor kids have completely skipped the phase of coming in to their own & maturing & toughening their skin because they've been conned into a state of suspended animation. Instead of going out into the world, spreading their wings, finding their people out in the world, building confidence, finding a career, they have been sold out into a cult that blocks any attempt at critical thinking or growth. I cannot see any other reason for this except for a world full of pervert groomers and behind the scenes puppet masters that want to create a generation of dependent, sterile kids from educated upper middle class families-the ones that are a threat to their goals.
Thank you! Every word of this beautifully written piece resonates, and (no surprise) mirrors my family's own experience here in this deeply blue state. My beautiful kid was diagnosed with ADHD in 2021 (by a clinician who also informed my daughter that she would happily refer her to Kaiser's multi-specialty transitions unit, 10 minutes after "meeting" her on Zoom, and less than one week after my daughter's literal overnight announcement that she was trans and wanted medicalizing). I likely would be too if I bothered to be assessed (I won't). My daughter is, however, a couple of years older than yours, and marched into a clinic in her first year of college. This has been hard to witness - it's like watching your toddler walk into traffic, with an audience (most safely on the sidewalk) cheering the kid on. I love her so much, and am painfully aware that this is a form of individualization. My heart breaks that so many institutions have swallowed the kool-aid notion that hormones and surgery are an unquestionable front line solution - to be self prescribed. (Then I follow the money, the starkly polarized political landscape and the dearth of critical thinking.)
"Soft Focus". One of the most apt descriptors I have read. The way we focus on other developmentally appropriate self-exploration our kids engage in as they figure out who they are. I am glad that your perfectly imperfect navigation, and that of your own beautiful daughter's, has arrived at the place where you are. You are inspirational.
She's home for the summer, and getting piecemeal work. Our relationship is, thankfully, close, but we don't talk about the medicalizing, as she shuts down. I am focusing on our attachment, and trying to help with her depression. She can get find herself in the eddies and whirlpools of hopelessness and anxiety and anguish about what is happening in the country and the world. I can't take these away, but I am trying to understand her. I know she is individualizing, and that (horrifyingly) the gender issues and accompanying medicalization feel like they will be a "fix" for her pain - to make her a different person. A year and a quarter on the hormones have definitely not helped. Quite the opposite. I cannot, however, make her stop by lecturing or punishing - I have to, at some point, realize that she will have to come to this conclusion on her own. I have many moments of rage at the institutions that have blanketly allowed this to happen, and grief about the harm that it is causing not only for her but for so many kids and baby adults like mine. And I love my kid so, so much - I am trying to figure out how to be the parent to her that she needs and to provide the support that she asks for. Giving her the message that she can navigate this world.
She knows how I feel about the hormones. Heck - she knows how I am feeling the minute I walk into a room, and I how she is feeling. The hormones have added a layer of irritability and more anxiety (in addition to all the other physical effects, visible and not), which can complicate communication. It's an intricate parenting dance, and I do see occasional spasms of maturity. Most of all, I see her as a caring, intelligent, compassionate person who is really struggling. She has had many of the burdens and experiences of growing up that I do understand, and many that, by virtue of the times we are in, I do not. I want to try. I really think that gaining a deeper understanding is (for us, anyway) of each other is the only way out of this painful mess.
Writing helps, both to sort thoughts and to get them out! I accept your hug and send one back.
I'm so glad you are writing. It does help... the clouds will get lighter and lift. I think part of the issue is that social media culture tells kids that they are either oppressors or oppressed. Your kind kiddo doesn't want to be an oppressor, so she's engaging with world events (and, perhaps, a non-oppressor identity) to try to be a good person. The most insidious piece of this ideology is the hearkening to an elusive virtuousness - kids are told they've oppressed others and that they must police their own happiness to be "good."
For neurodivergent kids, this is especially scary. They wouldn't have done well in the Salem Witch Trials, but they feel like they are in a similar crucible.
She sounds like a wonderful person who is trying to make sure she doesn't hurt anyone.
Stay focused on your attachment. Whatever you put your attention on will flourish.
Excellent piece. Another familiar story. So glad that your daughter registered in birth name and pronouns. My daughter had a bad break up (with a cis straight male) who dumped her (there were issues with her identity that he isn’t fully admitting). Now she’s deeply depressed and doubling down on the identity. I hate this
She’s going back to working with her art mentor. I’ve thought about equine therapy. She just started neurofeedback. And you have no idea how “this too shall pass” hits me in my soul. It’s what my mom always said and something I always try to remember. Thank you for that.
One of the best PITT articles I’ve read. If they put out another book, this one needs to be in it for sure. And yes, unfortunately this mirrors our experience, too. Willing to bet that’s the case for lots of people who read this Substack.
Mirrors my experience. However I was not so successful in protecting my “autistic daughter” from the cult. I also was diagnosed later in life. Always, it seemed to me people in power were trying to get our autistic children sterilised. Obvious. When I mentioned eugenics though, people go silent.
Autism can be treated and become a non-issue, but these quack pill pushers, trans therapists, and trans surgeons have no clue how to treat autism.
Robert F. Kennedy Junior has made it his life mission to decrease autism. I think he might not succeed, but he is trying. As Secretary of Health and Human Services, maybe something will be figured out.
What an exhausting journey! Soft Focus. Brilliant! Good job Mom. I hope and pray that your story has a happy ending, that your daughter remains your daughter, and that you are spared any further trans-drama. Best wishes.
Your “soft focus” mantra reminds me the old tv show Kung Fu. While Kwai-Chang Caine never used the phrase “soft focus”, he always tried to defuse a tense situation. But he could be brutal when pushed to the limit.
I found this chart in an excellent summary of the HHS report that came out recently (see link in the article). I'm going to guess that the numbers will start to fall, and soon.
What a nightmare. The field of medicine, schools, therapists, even family undermine a child's well-being and that of her mother. I am appalled by all the institutions and people who have been taught to groom kids to be trans, potentially ruining their lives and shattering their families. It happened to me with an older kid beyond school age, but when the influencers and groomers go for young children, the agenda to trans kids becomes dark and disturbing beyond comprehension.
The agenda could be called a depopulation agenda as its aim is to persuade children to get themselves sterilised. Dark and disturbing, I agree, as it appears to me that “autistic” girls are particularly vulnerable to being drawn into this cult of self sterilisation.
Even without transing kids, fertility in the child bearing years is way down. Many teenage boys have testosterone levels below that of the average 50 year old man. Because the children born in the past 30 years or so have been poisoned in various ways. Many vegans are infertile because their diet does not allow normal hormone levels. Additionally, the current plague of diabetes is making people infertile. Diabetes produces polycystic ovarian syndrome in women, and erectile dysfunction in men.
Also contraception is readily available if not promoted in many countries. China had a one child policy which led to an excess of men and shortage of women. I wonder if in China there are more men changing to women to balance the numbers.
The point was it’s about “feeling” like something you have never been before. Like saying “I feel like eating a banana” Well I think most of us have eaten a banana. How do they know (girls) they FEEL like a boy when they have never been one? What does it FEEL like to be a boy? How would they know?
Right on, it's an entire ideology based around playing semantic games that can't be proven or disproven (hello postmodernism). All sounds harmless enough up until the point where some ghoul faux-innocently suggests that if you "feel" like something, you should actually make physical changes to "be" that something. Of course that doesn't work in reality, but the drug company/surgeon still gets paid 🤬
The quote doesn't say the daughter feels like a boy. It says she doesn't feel like a girl, like what a girl is "supposed to be." That's the part I'd rather focus on, because I see it as more fundamental. The girl in the throes of gender discomfort is struggling with her feeling that she doesn't match an idea, or a stereotype, of what a girl is "supposed to be."
I'd like to question the idea that a girl is supposed to be anything in particular. I try to do this with my children - tell them a boy can be whatever he wants to be, and a girl can be whatever she wants to be (at this point, they're both succeeding at being unusual). It is very difficult to draw kids out of the narrow definitions or stereotypes that have been built up for them, especially if their peers are in the business of enforcing those limits by saying things like "those pants are gay" (essentially a less-literate way of saying "by wearing those pants, you're not behaving like a boy should.")
The idea that they can escape rigid and enforced stereotypes by being really the other sex inside is patently absurd, but it also doesn't represent so much a fixation on one particular type of girl or boy (though K-pop boy band members and gay lads seem peculiarly appealing) so much as the escape from the restraints of the stereotypes and social roles thrust upon them. It's not an escape to so much as an escape from. I'd like to examine better what they're escaping from.
I'd like to say to these kids "Go ahead, escape those stereotypes and social roles! You can do so without meddling with your body at all. Be a caring boy, be a strong girl, grow up to be loving men and brave women. You don't need anybody's permission."
Interesting point about “feel” like a boy. I would like to ask a girl who says she feels like a boy, does she feel like Clint Eastwood? Does she feel like Arnold Schwarzenneger? Does she feel like Donald Trump? Does she feel like spiderman or iron man? Tom Hanks maybe? What about Tom Cruise? Try to get the girl to say exactly which boy does she feel like.
Exactly, and if you notice it seems that when young girls think they are "trans" they end up thinking they are gay men. Hmm so they still are attracted to the same sex as if the were a girl? Hmm weird, huh?
Love this! It's written with humour and pathos combined. So refreshing when so many of us mired in this horrible situation can only see the sadness and frustration. A little swearing certainly helps even in the most dire of situations. You're like the kid who let the fact that the emperor had no clothes out of the bag!
Thank you so much. I am sending you and your family all my best. I promise I don't swear in front of little kids!
He's not little. He's 21 now. He came out at 16, went to college at 18, I have neither heard from or seen since then. I don't think I did anything wrong - I tried. But I guess he knew that I could not believe that men can be women. I love and miss him every day.
I'm sure he'll return to you.
Especially poignant is this author's experience with her daughter. And her description of how she turned to Medical "professionals" who had no intention of really helping her or her daughter, but instead can invoke state legislation against both. Legislation that wields punitive powers over your in-office responses. This is particularly true in "Progressive" states that have passed new laws, like California, "protecting" teens by removing them from the custody of their loving parents who are perceived as "non-affirming". Parents who don't want their kids to be brain-washed, sterilized and mutilated.
Thank you so much. It's really unbelievable that we've all been through this.
Dear Hecate Roads: So glad to have read it. Unbelievable, yet "Sci-Fi" fiction authors were preparing us for this kind of unbelievable stuff, and bio-hacked humans over 100 years ago. I'm impressed with your talent, and the way you write using today's references and "Slang" about super serious sh-t. Does your handle, Hecate Roads refer to Hades?
Thanks so much, Momma Bear. I'm new at writing and really appreciate your feedback. I was referencing both Hecate (goddess of crossroads) and the stoic, Hector of Rhodes. Centuries ago, he asked, "Have you learned to befriend yourself?" Trust yourself. :)
I don't mean to hijack this thread & if this isn't allowed/deleted I understand; my daughter is basically the same as all these similar girls' stories-ADHD, COVID lockdowns, exposure to misogynistic anime, porn, God knows what else, encouraged by insane mental health practitioners. She moved out over 2 years ago bc we would not allow new names/pronouns or T injections etc we said she needed to be FULLY ABLE to support herself & have insurance etc if she wanted to make adult decisions & enjoy adult privileges she needed to be an adult. SO she moved in with a couple of guys we assumed were gay. Anyway of course fast forward now it's she & one of the fellas are a couple & minimally employed in menial dead end jobs but both identify as trans & are doing cross sex hormones etc. SO now they want to move in with us bc they can't pay their bills. She is 25 & he is older. No effort to get better jobs, pot smoking, drinking, no plan for a better way forward. I said NO WAY is he moving in with her but she can move back in. Hubz is ready to let them both move in! I am in a real life soap opera & I want out.
I'm really sorry you are going through this. I wonder if someone who specializes in cult deprogramming could help you. I think it's hopeful that she wants to come home.
The older man she is with is bad. No way he should move in with you. Drinking and pot smoking? How long until he is in a car crash or stealing from you. He will eat your food and stain your carpets. When his mood changes and he starts yelling at you, then what?
I think you're absolutely right. Also, has your husband no idea of what is actually going on? Forgive me, but he sounds clueless. He should have to read PITT articles, a daily dose until he (hopefully) comes around.
Yes he does, honestly, my marriage is really struggling bc I work long night shifts & when the kids were young I begged him not to ignore them & leave them in their rooms on their devices, I wanted to get rid of all of it, but he's an IT guy & works from home so he had to have internet, the irony, a network engineer, I kept begging him to put parental controls etc & this is why we are where we are now-then when we said she needed to get off the computer & come out of her room during COVID the hysterics & suicidal threats started so we went to the psychiatrists & counselors-what a mistake!!! We got the "would you rather have a dead daughter or a live son? gaslighting but I immediately saw it as the evil it really is & told them to pound salt! Oh if I could only go back in time knowing what I know now!! My gut told me to do something drastic to snap her out of this but I was like a deer in the headlights.
Me too. I knew I was losing my daughter during the COVID-19 Pandemic, but being a single parent and working long hospital hours , I didn’t know what to do. I wish I could go back snd do things differently… maybe I could have saved her.
Sending hugs. There is hope.
I very much sympathize. Just don't blame yourself for the mistake of taking her to the psychiatrists and counselors. We were brought up to believe in the integrity and intelligence of the professionals. Who could have foreseen the ideological capture of the medical and psychiatric institutions? And parents have to be on the same page to even have a chance against the insanity. Your fears about the internet were obviously warranted, even prescient. As the father of a son, I have a certain sympathy for the confused/lost boy in this case, but I just don't see how you're going to save your daughter if he moves in with her.
Totally agree about not feeling guilty about taking your child to a medical professional. "Trust the science..." but there was no scientific study.
As for the guy... is it possible that she wants to bring him home so she can get support to get out? I bet she does.
Yes I do feel badly for him he seems sweet but lost but I know they are in a self imposed echo chamber reinforcing each other’s delusions. I can’t risk our future lives taking on more than I can deal with.
Yes, that makes total sense. Perhaps the best thing for him personally would be to see your daughter recover....from a distance.
It's probably unfair, but at this point, I suspect every child psychiatrist of being an idiot until proven otherwise. Sorry not sorry. It's actually one of the least competitive medical fields anyway. Yes, there are some good ones, but they are few and far between.
The more I read about what happens at Western Psychological Association conferences, the more sure I am that they are part of some kind of Psy-Op.
It still amazes me HOW exactly alike these girls' stories are!! What a nightmare of a perfect storm we have created for these kids. Forever disgusted at the absolute failure of the supposed "experts" in child/adolescent development that they could not see this for the Trojan Horse/House of Cards it really is. These poor kids have completely skipped the phase of coming in to their own & maturing & toughening their skin because they've been conned into a state of suspended animation. Instead of going out into the world, spreading their wings, finding their people out in the world, building confidence, finding a career, they have been sold out into a cult that blocks any attempt at critical thinking or growth. I cannot see any other reason for this except for a world full of pervert groomers and behind the scenes puppet masters that want to create a generation of dependent, sterile kids from educated upper middle class families-the ones that are a threat to their goals.
I agree.
Thank you! Every word of this beautifully written piece resonates, and (no surprise) mirrors my family's own experience here in this deeply blue state. My beautiful kid was diagnosed with ADHD in 2021 (by a clinician who also informed my daughter that she would happily refer her to Kaiser's multi-specialty transitions unit, 10 minutes after "meeting" her on Zoom, and less than one week after my daughter's literal overnight announcement that she was trans and wanted medicalizing). I likely would be too if I bothered to be assessed (I won't). My daughter is, however, a couple of years older than yours, and marched into a clinic in her first year of college. This has been hard to witness - it's like watching your toddler walk into traffic, with an audience (most safely on the sidewalk) cheering the kid on. I love her so much, and am painfully aware that this is a form of individualization. My heart breaks that so many institutions have swallowed the kool-aid notion that hormones and surgery are an unquestionable front line solution - to be self prescribed. (Then I follow the money, the starkly polarized political landscape and the dearth of critical thinking.)
"Soft Focus". One of the most apt descriptors I have read. The way we focus on other developmentally appropriate self-exploration our kids engage in as they figure out who they are. I am glad that your perfectly imperfect navigation, and that of your own beautiful daughter's, has arrived at the place where you are. You are inspirational.
I'm really sorry you went through this, too. How is your daughter now? I'm sending you a big hug. Thank you for your kind words about the essay.
She's home for the summer, and getting piecemeal work. Our relationship is, thankfully, close, but we don't talk about the medicalizing, as she shuts down. I am focusing on our attachment, and trying to help with her depression. She can get find herself in the eddies and whirlpools of hopelessness and anxiety and anguish about what is happening in the country and the world. I can't take these away, but I am trying to understand her. I know she is individualizing, and that (horrifyingly) the gender issues and accompanying medicalization feel like they will be a "fix" for her pain - to make her a different person. A year and a quarter on the hormones have definitely not helped. Quite the opposite. I cannot, however, make her stop by lecturing or punishing - I have to, at some point, realize that she will have to come to this conclusion on her own. I have many moments of rage at the institutions that have blanketly allowed this to happen, and grief about the harm that it is causing not only for her but for so many kids and baby adults like mine. And I love my kid so, so much - I am trying to figure out how to be the parent to her that she needs and to provide the support that she asks for. Giving her the message that she can navigate this world.
She knows how I feel about the hormones. Heck - she knows how I am feeling the minute I walk into a room, and I how she is feeling. The hormones have added a layer of irritability and more anxiety (in addition to all the other physical effects, visible and not), which can complicate communication. It's an intricate parenting dance, and I do see occasional spasms of maturity. Most of all, I see her as a caring, intelligent, compassionate person who is really struggling. She has had many of the burdens and experiences of growing up that I do understand, and many that, by virtue of the times we are in, I do not. I want to try. I really think that gaining a deeper understanding is (for us, anyway) of each other is the only way out of this painful mess.
Writing helps, both to sort thoughts and to get them out! I accept your hug and send one back.
I'm so glad you are writing. It does help... the clouds will get lighter and lift. I think part of the issue is that social media culture tells kids that they are either oppressors or oppressed. Your kind kiddo doesn't want to be an oppressor, so she's engaging with world events (and, perhaps, a non-oppressor identity) to try to be a good person. The most insidious piece of this ideology is the hearkening to an elusive virtuousness - kids are told they've oppressed others and that they must police their own happiness to be "good."
For neurodivergent kids, this is especially scary. They wouldn't have done well in the Salem Witch Trials, but they feel like they are in a similar crucible.
She sounds like a wonderful person who is trying to make sure she doesn't hurt anyone.
Stay focused on your attachment. Whatever you put your attention on will flourish.
This is a brilliant piece of writing.
Thank you!
What state did this happen in?
Excellent piece. Another familiar story. So glad that your daughter registered in birth name and pronouns. My daughter had a bad break up (with a cis straight male) who dumped her (there were issues with her identity that he isn’t fully admitting). Now she’s deeply depressed and doubling down on the identity. I hate this
I'm so sorry. Is there anything she enjoys? Equine therapy can be super helpful for teen depression. This too shall pass. Sending hugs.
She’s going back to working with her art mentor. I’ve thought about equine therapy. She just started neurofeedback. And you have no idea how “this too shall pass” hits me in my soul. It’s what my mom always said and something I always try to remember. Thank you for that.
Sounds like you are doing all the right things! She will thank you for it someday and fiercely defend her own children. Scars become superpowers!
One of the best PITT articles I’ve read. If they put out another book, this one needs to be in it for sure. And yes, unfortunately this mirrors our experience, too. Willing to bet that’s the case for lots of people who read this Substack.
Thanks, PS. I'm really sorry you went throught this, too. How is your kiddo now?
Mirrors my experience. However I was not so successful in protecting my “autistic daughter” from the cult. I also was diagnosed later in life. Always, it seemed to me people in power were trying to get our autistic children sterilised. Obvious. When I mentioned eugenics though, people go silent.
Sending hugs.
Autism can be treated and become a non-issue, but these quack pill pushers, trans therapists, and trans surgeons have no clue how to treat autism.
Robert F. Kennedy Junior has made it his life mission to decrease autism. I think he might not succeed, but he is trying. As Secretary of Health and Human Services, maybe something will be figured out.
What an exhausting journey! Soft Focus. Brilliant! Good job Mom. I hope and pray that your story has a happy ending, that your daughter remains your daughter, and that you are spared any further trans-drama. Best wishes.
Thank you so much, Grandma Eileen. I hope so, too.
Your “soft focus” mantra reminds me the old tv show Kung Fu. While Kwai-Chang Caine never used the phrase “soft focus”, he always tried to defuse a tense situation. But he could be brutal when pushed to the limit.
Love this. Gosh, I wish I were less of a goofball and more of a ninja.
That chart needs more publicity. All the statistics need to be published - including today's numbers. What does that chart look like today?
I found this chart in an excellent summary of the HHS report that came out recently (see link in the article). I'm going to guess that the numbers will start to fall, and soon.
Thank you. This is a great post.
Thank you!
What a nightmare. The field of medicine, schools, therapists, even family undermine a child's well-being and that of her mother. I am appalled by all the institutions and people who have been taught to groom kids to be trans, potentially ruining their lives and shattering their families. It happened to me with an older kid beyond school age, but when the influencers and groomers go for young children, the agenda to trans kids becomes dark and disturbing beyond comprehension.
The agenda could be called a depopulation agenda as its aim is to persuade children to get themselves sterilised. Dark and disturbing, I agree, as it appears to me that “autistic” girls are particularly vulnerable to being drawn into this cult of self sterilisation.
Even without transing kids, fertility in the child bearing years is way down. Many teenage boys have testosterone levels below that of the average 50 year old man. Because the children born in the past 30 years or so have been poisoned in various ways. Many vegans are infertile because their diet does not allow normal hormone levels. Additionally, the current plague of diabetes is making people infertile. Diabetes produces polycystic ovarian syndrome in women, and erectile dysfunction in men.
Also contraception is readily available if not promoted in many countries. China had a one child policy which led to an excess of men and shortage of women. I wonder if in China there are more men changing to women to balance the numbers.
Thanks for sharing this. Wow you did so well to keep a soft focus in the face of all that! Scary but also helpful to read.
I'm glad it was helpful. Thank you.
Here we go again with the "FEEL" word. How does anyone, especially a teen, know what it FEELS like to be the opposite sex?
“It’s just that I don’t feel like a girl,” my daughter said. “I don’t feel like what a girl is supposed to be.”
What's a girl supposed to be, and according to who? I swear it's worse than the fifties out there.
The point was it’s about “feeling” like something you have never been before. Like saying “I feel like eating a banana” Well I think most of us have eaten a banana. How do they know (girls) they FEEL like a boy when they have never been one? What does it FEEL like to be a boy? How would they know?
They are told they will FEEL better. SHEESH
Right on, it's an entire ideology based around playing semantic games that can't be proven or disproven (hello postmodernism). All sounds harmless enough up until the point where some ghoul faux-innocently suggests that if you "feel" like something, you should actually make physical changes to "be" that something. Of course that doesn't work in reality, but the drug company/surgeon still gets paid 🤬
You can have your point, and I'll have mine.
The quote doesn't say the daughter feels like a boy. It says she doesn't feel like a girl, like what a girl is "supposed to be." That's the part I'd rather focus on, because I see it as more fundamental. The girl in the throes of gender discomfort is struggling with her feeling that she doesn't match an idea, or a stereotype, of what a girl is "supposed to be."
I'd like to question the idea that a girl is supposed to be anything in particular. I try to do this with my children - tell them a boy can be whatever he wants to be, and a girl can be whatever she wants to be (at this point, they're both succeeding at being unusual). It is very difficult to draw kids out of the narrow definitions or stereotypes that have been built up for them, especially if their peers are in the business of enforcing those limits by saying things like "those pants are gay" (essentially a less-literate way of saying "by wearing those pants, you're not behaving like a boy should.")
The idea that they can escape rigid and enforced stereotypes by being really the other sex inside is patently absurd, but it also doesn't represent so much a fixation on one particular type of girl or boy (though K-pop boy band members and gay lads seem peculiarly appealing) so much as the escape from the restraints of the stereotypes and social roles thrust upon them. It's not an escape to so much as an escape from. I'd like to examine better what they're escaping from.
I'd like to say to these kids "Go ahead, escape those stereotypes and social roles! You can do so without meddling with your body at all. Be a caring boy, be a strong girl, grow up to be loving men and brave women. You don't need anybody's permission."
Love that. We are witnessing the horseshoe theory of sexism!
You are correct. ESPECIALLY as a teen! It's the hormones and the mutilation that goes too far.
Interesting point about “feel” like a boy. I would like to ask a girl who says she feels like a boy, does she feel like Clint Eastwood? Does she feel like Arnold Schwarzenneger? Does she feel like Donald Trump? Does she feel like spiderman or iron man? Tom Hanks maybe? What about Tom Cruise? Try to get the girl to say exactly which boy does she feel like.
Exactly, and if you notice it seems that when young girls think they are "trans" they end up thinking they are gay men. Hmm so they still are attracted to the same sex as if the were a girl? Hmm weird, huh?