Texan parent, trapped in the middle

I am a progressive liberal Texan, and the mother of a socially transitioned (by everyone but her parents and grandparents) 17 year old who has been identifying as trans for almost 4 years.  So, do I think we should investigate parents of trans children, as Governor Abbot and Ken Paxton propose?  Of course not! 

I am beyond angry about Abbott and Paxton’s recent directives, but not for the reason that most people seem to be upset.  What is so troubling to me is that by calling trans medicine child abuse, the Texas politicians have shut down the possibility of having civil discourse about what is truly best for our children.  They are attacking loving parents, who have been influenced to go in this medicalized direction, when we should instead be investigating the roots of trans medicine, Trans Rights Activists and the Pharmaceutical and Medical Industries and their roles in all of this, as well as social media for kids and the media in general. And this is a discussion that so desperately needs to take place. There is A LOT going on, that we have not been allowed to talk about.  And just when some questions were getting through, this highly charged political theater has put us back to square 1.

For the last 4 years, I have been researching this trans phenomena that has captured our nation for a decade or so.  There are so many adolescents and young adults swept up into this ideology these days—the rate of Trans identifying adolescent girls has shot up 4400% in the last 10 years. How could anyone not question this?  It seems like common sense to feel like there is something else driving this train.  But Trans Rights Activists have so much power and have played this so well (with verbiage such as “life saving medicine” “trans women are women” and “do you want a dead daughter or a live son?”) that any conversation about the harms being done by trans medicine or comorbidities going on with these adolescents has been shut down and is not allowed. 

In medicine and psychology they are following the “affirmation only” approach, which has translated into “whatever the kid says, goes”.  You are not even allowed to talk about how the trans identity came about, and psychological exploration is being called “conversion therapy”.  At public schools, they are following the children’s lead and affirming and changing their names and pronouns without any confirmation, or even communication, with the parents.  I know, because this happened with my daughter.  Twice.  At 2 different schools.  And so many other parents are reporting this as well. 

The left media (my news source for all of my adult life) has been totally bought by Trans Right Activists and the Pharmaceutical and Medical industry, and seems to refuse to report on the other side of this story.  There are now over 27,000 Detransitioners (and growing) on Reddit—they regret their gender transitions and now seek to reverse them. Many of them walked into Planned Parenthood at age 18, and in 15 minutes were given a prescription for wrong sex hormones, hormones that will irreversibly change a body, and could possibly cause great bodily damage. 

Cross-gender identities don’t emerge organically—just as a parent with a child in this new teen population of trans identified youth. These kids are influenced by pornography, anime, and social media. But you can’t get anyone in mainstream media to talk about any of this. Or how it is so very uncool in high school to be one of the few remaining “cis gender” heterosexuals.  No one is reporting on the online groomers love bombing these vulnerable and lonely adolescents, who don’t fit in anywhere—so many of whom are on the Autism Spectrum (like mine) and/or with ADHD (like mine).  Instead we are supporting a system of medicalizing these kids for life—putting them on body altering drugs, whisking them into surgery to have body parts lopped off, without any questions.  

My brain just screams WHOA!!!  I have SO many questions.  Where are the (unbiased) longitudinal studies that say these medical treatments are the best things for our kids?  Why are news outlets reporting that puberty blockers are completely reversible when we know that like 99% of these kids go on to cross sex hormones, and that there are serious health issues, like loss of bone density and early osteoporosis after taking Lupron?  Why are we not talking about the sterilization and loss of sexual functioning for these kids in treatment?  Why are we not listening to Marci Bowers and Erica Anderson—both transgender doctors at the forefront of trans medicine for kids—who are now waving the caution flag on all of this? 

Laura Edwards Leeper, also in Trans medicine, tried to get an op-ed published in the New York Times and they refused.  Somehow she managed to wrangle it into the Washington Post. 

Why are we not more curious about what else is going on with the mental health of teenagers these days and how that influences their trans identity?  Why are we not blowing the whistle on pro anorexia and pro trans groups online?

Why are we not investigating the Pharmaceutical industry’s role in all of this?  Is putting a huge swath of kids on irreversible body altering drugs—making billions for Big Pharma—really what is best for them?  Well, France and Sweden are saying mostly “no”, retreating from a medical model and pivoting to gender exploratory psychotherapy.  But the US media isn’t covering that, or following the latest science that better informed these countries.  Why??

Why is no one reporting on the thousands of other liberal parents like me who are gravely concerned about their kids making horrible, life altering mistakes with their bodies based on bad science and a world caught up with the narrative that Trans Rights Activists have pushed, that we must support these kids and if you ask questions then you are a Transphobe, and your kids will commit suicide unless you transition them.  Why are we not reporting that the research of suicidality in trans identified kids has been blown way out of proportion and misreported, and is almost the same rate as other populations of kids with mental health issues?

I meet with thousands of other scared parents online.  We are not only scared for our children, but are extremely scared to speak up.  You are not allowed, in polite liberal society, to voice any opinion contrary to the outlandish brainwashing we have all been subjected to.  But there are real arguments against this narrative for our kids now.  

 We need better science, we need better studies and we damn well should be listening to those who have been harmed by trans medicine.  And saying that does not make me a transphobe.  I am not scared of trans people.  In fact, there are many quite lovely Trans people speaking out about the insanity ensuing now. 

Transphobe is a word being thrown out like confetti to shut down any reasonable questions or thoughts about the health of our kids.   To quote Lisa Selin Davis, a writer who is trying hard to cover this silenced side of the discussion,  “If you’re shooting the messenger it’s because you find the message unassailable.”  

And Abbott and Paxton?  Their extreme stance on the other side makes asking all of these questions feel even more impossible.  We are all out here trying to do the best for our kids, but we are forced to villainize anyone who has a different opinion.  The problem is that some people think they have good science to back up trans medicine, and some people know that we don’t.  The partisanship and vitriol has to stop if we are ever going to truly get to the bottom of what is going on with our distressed kids, and what is truly the best treatment for them.  

The latest article in the New York Times on “How to Support a Child on the Transgender Spectrum”, cites Jack Turban, who is firmly on the side of medicalizing children.  The refreshing part of this article, and the others like it, is that there are hundreds of comments that are primarily saying “NO!” to this trend of bad medicine.  So many left voices are speaking up to the New York Times now, and speaking truth.  It gives me hope that there may be a chance to turn this around.  Our rebel voices on the left are getting stronger and louder.  One of the commenters referred to her ideas of caution as the “radical middle”.  And that’s it!  It feels so radical to be saying that both sides of this argument have lost their minds, and that we need more research and a better understanding of what is going on with our kids, before we set them up for a life and choices they may very well regret.  This should not be a radical position, and yet it truly is in this upside down “affirmation only” world now.  But I, and thankfully a growing number of others, are standing firm in the Radical Middle, asking the questions and not letting up.  This is not a partisan issue.  This is a truth versus lies,  health versus $$$, our kids versus trans ideology, argument.  We will keep fighting for these kids until we get some real science and honest reporting.