The Cult of Gender Ideology: Psychological Manipulation and Social Control

I'm an 18 year old desister, and I'm particularly interested in why kids fall into trans ideology and why it is so difficult to get them out. I believe a major part of the reason is cult-like or high control dynamics in gender affirming spaces among youth and adults in their life, which makes it difficult for them to question what is being told. I've experienced this and I want to articulate my thoughts as well as I can. So I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself to do this right, because this is important to me.

---

The reason it is so hard for people to desist, detransition, or really question trans ideology is because it is a cult. I am hesitant to use that term because it's not a perfect definition due to the lack of a "leader" as well as general debate on what a cult truly is. I also think this is a serious topic and I don't just want to throw the word around. But the part I am focusing on and the part that is very similar is manipulation and thought control, and my goal is not to label it perfectly but rather for people to realize and understand the psychological elements behind it. For the purpose of this I am viewing the "leader" as the ideology itself instead of 1 person.

The first thing I am going to use is the 7 elements of indoctrination from Cults, Explained. The elements are as follows.

1. A crossroads. You will notice people particularly vulnerable to trans ideology are young people, teens and young adults, people with other mental issues, people who don't fit in, people who are gender nonconforming or gay, people with previous truama. These people are at a point in their life where they feel lost and unsure, and are seeking guidance. For some this is also a time where it's normal to question or go against your parents or what you've been taught growing up. Some also feel rejected or abused by those around them and are purposefully seeking guidance elsewhere because of it.

2. The soft sell. The seeds of questioning can come from everywhere, now that support for trans ideology is very widespread. People hear about it at school or from friends. They hear about it online. Their parents might agree with it. It's mentioned in crisis hotlines and websites. It’s mentioned in doctors and therapists offices. It is presented as fact and it is wrong or "mean" to go against it. For young people it has been like this since they were little. It's always been a thing they could turn to.

3. A new reality. This one is pretty straightforward. A lot of these people see transitioning as the truth they have been blind to. It is the reason for all their pain and struggles. It is their true self. The blinding shield of delusion over their eyes feels like your first pair of eyeglasses, they think they finally see the truth. They were born in the wrong body, and this is a fact.

4. The dear leader. This one I will modify to be the dear ideology. Now that their trans identity is the truth, they are "love bombed" by their new community. This radical acceptance is such a high and a rush for them compared to their life before. It reinforces that this is the solution to their life. Therefore the bonds they have with the LGBTQ or trans community, or their "chosen family", is the most important thing in their life. It is the source of their happiness.

5. The enemy. Since they've experienced acceptance of their truth, they feel betrayed and hurt when their "true" self is denied. Any questioning or rejection is the cause of their dysphoria, their mental health issues, their pain. It is a rejection of who they are. It is the denial of truth. It is abuse. This is heavily reinforced within trans social groups. "If they do not accept you, they are abusive." Nowadays this is also reinforced in schools, with doctors, and with courts. Kids have been taken away from their parents for not affirming. It has even gone to the point of group members saying they are in a "trans genocide," that their "rights" are being stripped away and that they might be killed for being trans. They have delusional fears that anyone against trans ideology wants them to suffer. The enemy is anyone who questions them.

6. Peer pressure. Another big one. Since the trans circles are the only place where they feel they are accepted, they desperately want to fit in with them. It is human nature to want to fit in. It protects us, it is dangerous to be alone. So, when the only people who they believe care about them say something, it goes. Whatever the mass opinion is, is the opinion you're expected to hold. "Punishment" is subtle but big- social isolation. "I don't want to talk to anyone who thinks you need dysphoria to be trans. I don't want to talk to people who think trans surgery shouldn't happen to kids. I don't want to talk to anyone who doesn't accept nonbinary or neogenders and neopronouns." In some groups it's punished even harsher but generally you are seen as a jerk for having a different opinion. Remember, since this is their only "true" social circle, if they lose them they lose everyone. And being alone is dangerous, we as a social species are hardwired to feel this way. So, for their safety, they will conform to the mainstream opinion and will not speak up or question if they disagree. They aren't thinking anymore.

7. A sociopathic narcissist. This in general refers to the leader using their control to harm his followers or for selfish gain, and abuse within the cult. I'm going to modify this point to talk about the ideology itself. Many older people pushing trans ideology have something to gain from it. Whether it's sexual gratification, monetary exploitation, social acceptance of their own behavior, respect from peers, whatever reason, they often don't truly believe it. The kids are their pawns. They believe it. They will do whatever they say so that they can continue to feel accepted. What about the kids? They are encouraged to permanently medically alter their body. Their bodies are used for experimental hormones and surgery. If they ever seriously question it or attempt to desist or detransition they will not only be alienated, but also gaslit and abused from the group. They will try to convince them that this was entirely their choice and their fault and/or they were never trans at all so their story shouldn't be put on them. Essentially, it is manipulation that draws them in and abuse that keeps them from leaving.

The next thing I will use to elaborate is the BITE model of authoritarian control by Steven Hassan. BITE stands for Behavior control, Information control, Thought control, and Emotional control. There is a longer list of behavior for each but I am pointing out specifically what I see.

Behavior control

• Instill dependence and obedience - these people feel reliant on the trans community and the ideology for their happiness and well-being, and are taught that questioning it is cruelty.

• Modifying behavior with rewards and punishments - people are rewarded with social acceptance for conforming to the ideology and are punished with isolation or worse if they object.

• Dictate where and with whom you live - I don't know about dictate but it is encouraged to only live with people who accept you, therefore cutting yourself off from any questioning in your immediate social circle.

• Restrict or control your sexuality - kids who are on early puberty blockers or hormones often have their natural sexuality destroyed. While it may be normal for trans identifying adults to be very open about sex, do remember that kids and young adults are not able to do so due to the implications of medicalization. Trans ideology also discourages attraction based off of biological sex, therefore encouraging people to accept dating those they are not attracted to so that they are seen as kind.

• Control your clothing and hairstyle - again I don't know about "control" here but it is encouraged to present as the opposite sex if you are identifying as trans, and some are encouraged to do so more than they naturally would have wanted to. There also seems to be similar patterns in looks among these people although that may just be what's trendy I don't think that's actual control or encouragement

• Deprive you of normal sleep - not forced but it is very normal for a lot of social activity to happen at night, especially online. A lot of these kids are sleep deprived and may be up at night chasing that social acceptance and validation from their peers who are also up.

• Exploit you financially - people are encouraged to do expensive things to transition like buying specialized clothing like binders, packers, and tucking gear, buy a whole new wardrobe, change your hair, and medically transition. Medical transition specifically is the goal of the medical industry for being involved in trans ideology.

• Require you to seek permission for major decisions - I don't know about require but if you do something that is seen as offensive or against the norm you will be "punished", so many people feel guilty for making decisions without asking their community if it is okay.

• Require you to spend major time on indoctrination rituals - this is the actual transition. You are encouraged to medically and socially transition. You are expected to view content online and sometimes in person about trans ideology to further "educate" yourself.

Information control

• Deliberately withhold and distort information - True information about the side effects of transitioning are intentionally withheld so that they are encouraged to transition. They tell straight up lies repeatedly, "no child ever medically transitioned," "no one was ever manipulated into transitioning," "no one regrets transitioning," "puberty blockers are safe, hormones are safe, surgery is safe." I have seen so many people deny so strongly that trans surgeries ever happened to children, and when I give them 1 example they immediately try to justify why that's fine or go silent. So these people either know that they're lying or have been told this by the group and genuinely believed it, even when the evidence is everywhere.

• Forbid you from communicating with ex members and critics - not "forbid" but they are seen as the enemy, so it is encouraged not to and these people believe that no meaningful discussion will come out of it, that these people just really hate them. Notice how trans ideology treats detransitioners and desisters - there is never a legitimate reason to leave. "They were never trans at all." "This is not our fault they should have known."

• Compartmentalize information into insider vs outsider doctrine - this means that those within the group and those who are not are fed a different narrative. I have 2 points for this. The first one being the "secret transitioning", where kids are encouraged to socially or even medically transition at school or social settings without ever telling their "non affirming" parents. Everyone knows but the kids family. The second one I'd like to mention is I genuinely think that a lot of people who say "kids never had trans surgeries" are deliberately lying. Maybe not everyone but I think most. This is what is being told to the public, meanwhile in their social circles kids are being encouraged to go to doctors for their dysphoria and images and testimonies of other kids having surgery is available online - if you're in on the trans ideology.

• Generate and use propaganda extensively - you will see subtle and not so subtle propaganda encouraging absolute respect to trans people and encouraging transitioning as a solution to being "born in the wrong body." Kids especially grew up on this. They were told from an early age to be nice to everyone including transgender people. They knew about trans people who were born in the wrong body and "became" the opposite gender. These are the seeds of questioning that they want planted.

• Use information gained in confession sessions against you - I don't want to say "confession sessions" here because to my knowledge that's not a thing with trans social circles and I don't want to make this look like something it is not. However, information shared in "safe space" social circles is not really "safe". It is nitpicked for any slight hint of an unacceptable opinion. After desisting or detransitioning old posts are also searched for anything that would prove someone was "never "trans" at all" (even though they say the only requirement for being trans is saying so).

• Gaslight to make you doubt your own memory - the lies told by trans ideology go against truth and require you to deny what you have seen and heard. They also deny things that happened to you and things they say to you. When I tell my testimony and talk about manipulation people have said that never happened or that I'm lying.

• Encourage you to spy and report on others "misconduct" - members are often scrutinized or punished by their peers, as there are no leaders or level system. I felt like I was walking on eggshells in the "trans safe space" I was in because I was afraid one slip up would get me alienated.

Thought control

• Teach you to internalize group doctrine as truth - gender ideology, the idea that you are whatever gender you identify as regardless of biology, is considered true. They don't question it rationally but loom for evidence to prove it. It is a fact to them. It is their identity. It is not something they can stop being. They were born trans and always will be trans, they just didn't realize it until now.

• Instill black and white, us vs them, and good vs evil thinking - anyone who questions the ideology is considered hateful, bigoted, and abusive. There is to be no reasoning with them because they hate you and all they are advocating for is to make you miserable for being "trans".

• Change your identity, possibly even your name - I think this one speaks for itself. Your true identity, along with your gender, name, and anything that doesn't fit the "trans" narrative, is rejected. It was never you. The trans you is the true you.

• Use loaded language and clichés to stop critical/complex thought - any questioning is labeled as transphobia or similar and so it is strongly discouraged to question the narrative. If you're in the group you need to accept all of it, or else you're just as bad as people who "want them dead".

• Allow only positive thoughts - not really thoughts but only positive speech about trans ideology is allowed and any negative consequences of transitioning are either not brought up or discouraged to talk about.

• Reject rational analysis, critical thinking, and constructive criticism - questioning and criticism are not acceptable. They are "hateful" and a denial of "their truth". To them there is no reason to question them other than to hurt them.

Emotional control

• Instill irrational fears of questioning or leaving the group - questioning the group will lead to you being alone, never realizing your true self, and just following the whims of people who hate you. People who leave as especially alienated. They are accused of hating themselves, hating trans people, faking being trans to shame them, and that they were never trans at all. "Death before detransition." They see it as a death sentence.

• Make you feel elitist and special - you are now part of this marginalized, protected group. They make you think it's rare and that you're very brave for daring to "be your true self". You now have this "supportive" community, and nobody is allowed to hurt or upset you now.

• Promote feelings of guilt, shame, and unworthiness - people are taught to fear upsetting their peers in the trans community and are walking on eggshells while socializing. Dysphoria is common and rumininating on it can increase the feeling of not being good enough if you don't transition more or pass as the opposite sex.

• Elicit extreme emotional highs and lows - people are love bombed with affirmation and acceptance, only to be abused by the community for any slip up or questioning. They tolerate the abuse because these are the only people they think will accept them, so they chase that high by conforming more and more to avoid punishment.

• Label some emotions as evil, worldly, sinful, or wrong - any questioning is wrong and any negatives that come from transitioning are wrong too. They are either caused by "internalized transphobia" or blaming your negative emotions on trans ideology (even if they caused it).

• Threaten and harass your friends and family - everyone in your life is pressured to affirm your new identity, or they are abusive. Everyone feels pressured to conform so they don't lose the person. They are also guilt tripped with the suicide rates.

• Shun you if you disobey or disbelieve - notice the treatment of detransitioners and desisters. To them it is not acceptable to question the ideology at all and to them it is unacceptable to stop being trans unless you still strongly support the community. If they find out you are detransitioning you will lose this community and who you see as your only friends. I had to accept being alone and that was a big part of my desistance process, being alone and thinking on my own for the first time in a while.

• Teach you that there is no happiness or fulfilment outside the group - they teach you that any dysphoria is permanent and can only stop with transitioning. They insist that if you do not transition you will be driven to suicide from the pain. Again, "death before detransition." You can either live your "authentic" self or live a "lie."

Desistance and detransition is possible. This does not have to be permanent and you can get your mind back. However, it is a process and it's hard. This is why it is so difficult to get through to trans teens and young adults. They are being manipulated and abused, and this ideology has become their entire life and identity.

Cults Explained.