On hot summer days, the pool was relief. The dare was in the deep end. A big, big breath, then all the way to the bottom, feel the rough concrete on your feet, then arms stretched up, palms together, pointing to the blue sky, still visible through the water’s distortions of light. Then, bend the knees, and Push off! Thrusting up to break free and Gasp the welcome air. Now poolside I wait. Hoping you will reach bottom soon. Hoping you will want fresh life. Hoping to see those prayer hands breach the water’s wall. June, 2025
Thank you so much for your beautiful poem. As a kid I spent my summers poolside as much as I could. I loved the water and your description brought me back to some of my favourite childhood memories.
The picture you paint of our kids hitting that bottom and breaking the surface, that “fresh life,” is what I pray for my son too.
I love this description of the mother's awkward position. I wish we all had a life saving ring that we could toss in to the pool & have the strength to pull them out despite their resistance.
It seems we as mothers are powerless but we must stay trues to ourselves or be drawn under water ourselves. We cannot save them if we are struggling ourselves. All of us will wait with love & hope that faith will bring them home even if as half drowned rats...
I’ve been reading and appreciating PITT for many months now. Thank you to all of you that have made me feel less alone in this torture. I was wondering if any of you share these emails with your children? Sometimes I feel my daughter needs to read the opposite of her views to understand mine. Other times I think that will backfire and push her away. Thanks for any insight shared.
She won't be in any state to appreciate or understand your point of view. She has an obsession. I am now calling it "gender suicide ideation" instead of gender dysphoria. The best you can do is to keep up some kind of contact, any contact, "an agreement to continue talking", while not conceding new name, pronouns, etc. things which would encourage her "new identity". It is a tightrope walk and a nightmare for you.
But she will gradually notice the current receding public enthusiasm for "glitter" and "trans" and, once the cult encouragement starts to subside.... and she might find some new interests, then the whole "gender question" might subside. Fingers crossed.
Thank you for your insight. We communicate but often just ends in frustration. I will not affirm but I won’t push her away either. She isn’t walking away or threatening to, so we keep chugging along, sometimes feeling like limbo or waiting for things to escalate. I appreciate your view and response.
That must be so difficult for you. It feels like schools affirming, social media and all other outside influences turn our children against us instantly. I appreciate your response. Best of luck.
Excellent. Very powerful visualization, vivid description, and tugged on my heartstrings. Praying and hoping for you and your child. It is time for all of our children to come up for air, to see the bright light, and to start living the life they were meant to live. Enough is enough. Best wishes to you.
Simple and beautiful. I stand with you in hoping all of our kids hit their bottom. It seems that for many, it's the only way back up and out of this.
Thank you so much for your beautiful poem. As a kid I spent my summers poolside as much as I could. I loved the water and your description brought me back to some of my favourite childhood memories.
The picture you paint of our kids hitting that bottom and breaking the surface, that “fresh life,” is what I pray for my son too.
Thank you. Prayers for you and your son. If you’re interested, I have some other poems on my free Substack AngryMamaBear.
Thank you AngryMamaBear!
I love this description of the mother's awkward position. I wish we all had a life saving ring that we could toss in to the pool & have the strength to pull them out despite their resistance.
It seems we as mothers are powerless but we must stay trues to ourselves or be drawn under water ourselves. We cannot save them if we are struggling ourselves. All of us will wait with love & hope that faith will bring them home even if as half drowned rats...
Thanks for your words. Going through the same with my son. I pray that he has already hit the bottom of the pool and is on his way back up.
..it is indeed, a waiting game. And so that’s what we do…especially if they are adults & gone…waiting for them to hit rock bottom 😞
Thanks for sharing your poetic soul with us all on this group. It does help to give us hope as we fold our hands in prayer for ours and yours.
Beautiful.
Thank you. If you’re interested, there are others at my free Substack AngryMamaBear.
My prayer as well. I pray for my son to return home. Return to the family that loves him so much. Return to his faith that he held so dear.
🙏❤️😢
I’ve been reading and appreciating PITT for many months now. Thank you to all of you that have made me feel less alone in this torture. I was wondering if any of you share these emails with your children? Sometimes I feel my daughter needs to read the opposite of her views to understand mine. Other times I think that will backfire and push her away. Thanks for any insight shared.
She won't be in any state to appreciate or understand your point of view. She has an obsession. I am now calling it "gender suicide ideation" instead of gender dysphoria. The best you can do is to keep up some kind of contact, any contact, "an agreement to continue talking", while not conceding new name, pronouns, etc. things which would encourage her "new identity". It is a tightrope walk and a nightmare for you.
But she will gradually notice the current receding public enthusiasm for "glitter" and "trans" and, once the cult encouragement starts to subside.... and she might find some new interests, then the whole "gender question" might subside. Fingers crossed.
Good luck!
Thank you for your insight. We communicate but often just ends in frustration. I will not affirm but I won’t push her away either. She isn’t walking away or threatening to, so we keep chugging along, sometimes feeling like limbo or waiting for things to escalate. I appreciate your view and response.
My child threatens no contact if I attempt any communication of any form that challenges her beliefs.
That must be so difficult for you. It feels like schools affirming, social media and all other outside influences turn our children against us instantly. I appreciate your response. Best of luck.
😔sending hugs, momma.
Excellent. Very powerful visualization, vivid description, and tugged on my heartstrings. Praying and hoping for you and your child. It is time for all of our children to come up for air, to see the bright light, and to start living the life they were meant to live. Enough is enough. Best wishes to you.
Thank you. If you’re interested in poetry, I have others posted on my free Substack AngryMamaBear.
Such powerful juxtaposition and imagery. I pray for that moment for you. 💜
Amen 🙏
I hope for that as well. Sending you love. ❤️