Please feel my long and heartfelt hug. You have a powerful voice in your writing, and I look forward to your book. And there are things to be thankful for. You still have your husband. It could have destroyed your marriage if you let it. Your daughter is still alive, and while she is alive, there is still hope. You still love her, that is clear. The story isn't over. And when she comes to her senses she will know that she chose the path and she will need you to walk with her and hold her hand. And if she doesn't come to her senses, she is still your daughter and she will need you both at one point. And, this life is not the end. If this is what she had to go through to find truth, then in some inexplicable way this is the path she was meant to take. Have faith, pray and believe that God is still in control, even when we cannot feel or see it.
I am convinced that the child who wrote that note to you at 20, IS still in there. I applaud your decision to move on, and to redefine yourself. All parents should be doing that when their kids get into their twenties, but for us it is even more important. I would only like to add that many of these trans-captured young people have started to turn back, come back to their senses, come back to their families. They are damaged, but returning. The parent support group I participate in has a kind of unofficial mantra: we say that we are "keeping the porch light on".
Like many others i could have written these exact words. Found out yesterday that my child has legally changed her lovingly chosen name , which she has been using for several years. I have never used it as it is her reality not mine. But i am weary. I see that the chosen circle of people in her life are only those all in on affirmation.
I have never been able to call my daughter by her new name, and for the same reason. It isn't my reality. It is not the person I knew or the child I raised. But she says this new name represents her "identity," and if I won't use it, she won't speak to me.
Fine. I'll wait. I'm still here if she ever changes her mind.
Towards the beginning of my daughter's exodus from my life, I started writing about my experience to try to make sense of it and to be brutally honest so that other parents could see that they're not alone in all this gruesomeness: the tantrums; the shouting of abuse; the reversal of victim and perpetrator behaviour (I hadn't previously understood quite how many of our children were turning us into abusers in their minds, when the vast majority of us were just trying to protect our children).
Now I'm public enemy number one and I don't know where my daughter lives. Her "glitter family" saw to that.
Writing didn't make it better.
Nothing will make it better apart from hearing at least something from her. Even something as aggressive and derogatory as her final email before the silence - so that I know she's still alive.
The everyday comments make it so hard, āhowās your daughter?ā
And any comment about sex, gender and parental rights. The Ideology doesnāt make sense in āreal life.ā When you live it, every contradiction to it stands out so glaringly, painfully strong. Yet we parents know it all and stay silent. We are prisoners in the world and try to find happiness and a way forward.
I hope you know so many others know that what happened to your daughter and family is absolutely not right. My child is still at home and I struggle to not give this ideology 15 minutes of the day space in my head. But the times I do are happy, good times.
I have to compare the loss with an amputation. My daughter, although not trans but in the cult, has been no contact for 3 1/2 years, so painful. She is part of me that was once there, but is now gone, and will always be missed. Regardless, I must learn to live life differently to survive and adapt. She may return some day, but she will never be the same girl, and that loss is the most painful part.
I am in a similar spot; it has been over 2 years. I have times where I am numb, indifferent, angry, sad, and then just worn out. I'm moving on too. I may never see my daughter again, and she is currently unrecognizable. I'm changed too. I miss the old me and the old her, and that life is gone. I think I have given up. It is time for me to create a life without kids in it.
Each story is so unique as every child/person is so different. What got me through was traveling, talking to others going through it, and praying for and having everyone I spoke to pray for my son as well as so many others I knew were going through it. I kept telling myself that God knows the end from the beginning and none of what we are going through is a surprise to him. It is Satan's agenda, but the devil is a loser. Many in the prophetic are speaking of the "great and terrible day of the Lord', and the wicked being removed and our prodigals coming home. We can't change the past but God can restore them to wholeness no matter what has happened in the past. This agenda goes along with the child sex trafficking/pedophilia, as well as even the covid mess. It's a very complex story but I have to think of the lyrics my son wrote in his video he called "Burn in Hell Jezebel". It starts out "meadows burning, the sun is shining while it's dropping and I know that it's hard to cope with what no one could ever really be stopping. It's inevitable the father's plan this self fulfilling prophecy...children of the stars...blown into being by the breath of a loving God.....but the anger has boiled to the top..and I don't think it could ever really be stopped. All this pain has been too much to watch"....and it goes on. I believe God's wrath is about to hit the enemy of God who has done this to our children. Hang in there and keep the faith. I truly believe that many children will be running home as the day of the Lord's Vengeance hits and the evil that has done this is removed. Expect the unexpected....God is moving and many things are happening that we cannot see.
I think is good that your daughter not broke up your marriage. And I am with you in all you said, she didnāt care much about the consequences of her choices and how they would affect you and itās always the case, there is a degree of narcissistic behavior but that is very common in our society so not surprising there. Live your life together with your husband as you are the parents of a disabled child, thereās not much you can do. You didnāt mention any religious beliefs but those help a lot, to believe in God and to know that at the end life has a purpose and suffering is part of to have freedom and also that transgenderism is of a demonic nature where inter dimensional spirits oppressed and influenced humans. But at the end you and your husband have to carry that cross with you, it is better if you do it with purpose. Iām praying for the world and Iām praying for all the confused youth and the world we leave them.
Oh the tears š. I feel this very this deeply. I am the mom of a one and only daughter who is in this same place with her one and only daughter. It is heartbreaking š.
My only hope is in Christ alone who has risen from the dead and can raise us to new life as we lay down the struggle to be our own god. šš½
Please feel my long and heartfelt hug. You have a powerful voice in your writing, and I look forward to your book. And there are things to be thankful for. You still have your husband. It could have destroyed your marriage if you let it. Your daughter is still alive, and while she is alive, there is still hope. You still love her, that is clear. The story isn't over. And when she comes to her senses she will know that she chose the path and she will need you to walk with her and hold her hand. And if she doesn't come to her senses, she is still your daughter and she will need you both at one point. And, this life is not the end. If this is what she had to go through to find truth, then in some inexplicable way this is the path she was meant to take. Have faith, pray and believe that God is still in control, even when we cannot feel or see it.
I am convinced that the child who wrote that note to you at 20, IS still in there. I applaud your decision to move on, and to redefine yourself. All parents should be doing that when their kids get into their twenties, but for us it is even more important. I would only like to add that many of these trans-captured young people have started to turn back, come back to their senses, come back to their families. They are damaged, but returning. The parent support group I participate in has a kind of unofficial mantra: we say that we are "keeping the porch light on".
Iām so sorry š
There is always hope. I pray for peace in your family and that your daughter finds her way home.
Heartbreaking! It resonates with me. This gender ideology is really terrible thing that happened to humanity.
So weighty.
Yes, you haven't given up yet..
You are a great parent
Like many others i could have written these exact words. Found out yesterday that my child has legally changed her lovingly chosen name , which she has been using for several years. I have never used it as it is her reality not mine. But i am weary. I see that the chosen circle of people in her life are only those all in on affirmation.
I have never been able to call my daughter by her new name, and for the same reason. It isn't my reality. It is not the person I knew or the child I raised. But she says this new name represents her "identity," and if I won't use it, she won't speak to me.
Fine. I'll wait. I'm still here if she ever changes her mind.
:(
Towards the beginning of my daughter's exodus from my life, I started writing about my experience to try to make sense of it and to be brutally honest so that other parents could see that they're not alone in all this gruesomeness: the tantrums; the shouting of abuse; the reversal of victim and perpetrator behaviour (I hadn't previously understood quite how many of our children were turning us into abusers in their minds, when the vast majority of us were just trying to protect our children).
Now I'm public enemy number one and I don't know where my daughter lives. Her "glitter family" saw to that.
Writing didn't make it better.
Nothing will make it better apart from hearing at least something from her. Even something as aggressive and derogatory as her final email before the silence - so that I know she's still alive.
Her silence is overwhelming.
The everyday comments make it so hard, āhowās your daughter?ā
And any comment about sex, gender and parental rights. The Ideology doesnāt make sense in āreal life.ā When you live it, every contradiction to it stands out so glaringly, painfully strong. Yet we parents know it all and stay silent. We are prisoners in the world and try to find happiness and a way forward.
I hope you know so many others know that what happened to your daughter and family is absolutely not right. My child is still at home and I struggle to not give this ideology 15 minutes of the day space in my head. But the times I do are happy, good times.
Thank you for sharing.
I have to compare the loss with an amputation. My daughter, although not trans but in the cult, has been no contact for 3 1/2 years, so painful. She is part of me that was once there, but is now gone, and will always be missed. Regardless, I must learn to live life differently to survive and adapt. She may return some day, but she will never be the same girl, and that loss is the most painful part.
I am in a similar spot; it has been over 2 years. I have times where I am numb, indifferent, angry, sad, and then just worn out. I'm moving on too. I may never see my daughter again, and she is currently unrecognizable. I'm changed too. I miss the old me and the old her, and that life is gone. I think I have given up. It is time for me to create a life without kids in it.
Iām so sorry both your kids got sucked into this madness.
"How do you keep the door open for them, but not feel heartbroken every moment that they donāt walk through it?"
We're all in the same boat ... and nothing will ever be the way it used to be.
Each story is so unique as every child/person is so different. What got me through was traveling, talking to others going through it, and praying for and having everyone I spoke to pray for my son as well as so many others I knew were going through it. I kept telling myself that God knows the end from the beginning and none of what we are going through is a surprise to him. It is Satan's agenda, but the devil is a loser. Many in the prophetic are speaking of the "great and terrible day of the Lord', and the wicked being removed and our prodigals coming home. We can't change the past but God can restore them to wholeness no matter what has happened in the past. This agenda goes along with the child sex trafficking/pedophilia, as well as even the covid mess. It's a very complex story but I have to think of the lyrics my son wrote in his video he called "Burn in Hell Jezebel". It starts out "meadows burning, the sun is shining while it's dropping and I know that it's hard to cope with what no one could ever really be stopping. It's inevitable the father's plan this self fulfilling prophecy...children of the stars...blown into being by the breath of a loving God.....but the anger has boiled to the top..and I don't think it could ever really be stopped. All this pain has been too much to watch"....and it goes on. I believe God's wrath is about to hit the enemy of God who has done this to our children. Hang in there and keep the faith. I truly believe that many children will be running home as the day of the Lord's Vengeance hits and the evil that has done this is removed. Expect the unexpected....God is moving and many things are happening that we cannot see.
I think is good that your daughter not broke up your marriage. And I am with you in all you said, she didnāt care much about the consequences of her choices and how they would affect you and itās always the case, there is a degree of narcissistic behavior but that is very common in our society so not surprising there. Live your life together with your husband as you are the parents of a disabled child, thereās not much you can do. You didnāt mention any religious beliefs but those help a lot, to believe in God and to know that at the end life has a purpose and suffering is part of to have freedom and also that transgenderism is of a demonic nature where inter dimensional spirits oppressed and influenced humans. But at the end you and your husband have to carry that cross with you, it is better if you do it with purpose. Iām praying for the world and Iām praying for all the confused youth and the world we leave them.
So thankful you are finding your way through. May you find happiness in it.
Oh the tears š. I feel this very this deeply. I am the mom of a one and only daughter who is in this same place with her one and only daughter. It is heartbreaking š.
My only hope is in Christ alone who has risen from the dead and can raise us to new life as we lay down the struggle to be our own god. šš½