I empathize. I just attended my son's graduation at which he walked across the stage to a new ridiculous female name. Every occasion that should be happy is a source of grief
When the full truth of this demonic, anti-reproductive family finally comes to light, you can sue everyone into desolute poverty, but that will not give your daughter back. At this point, I suggest getting prayer from as many people as possible. You have my prayers.
What?! She literally said that her daughter's fiance is a lovely person. It seems that she'd be more okay with a lesbian wedding than a false one where her daughter is lying to herself and everyone else about who and what she is. It automatically makes this poor mother, her daughter, and her entire history with her daughter feel cancelled. Erased. Nullified and void. Her daughter has no business getting married (why is this even legal?) in her deluded frame of mind! Marriage is more than a legal piece of paper. ...Wackadoodle!
How can anyone even stand witness to a wedding of such dishonesty? Our dystopian new world. What is the point of these two young women marrying when it's under extremely false pretenses? They are both entering a contractual LIE! I could cry buckets for this poor mother. Instead I will pray for her peace of mind and strength to walk away from this tragic disgrace.
I don't think she meant me (the author) but thanks for the defence!
There are a few gay couples in my family already and some hetero who don't want children. Quite frankly it's none of anyone else's business whether another couple want children (or can have them)!
After several years of throwing obstacles in our daughter's path, achieving small delay after small delay in her drive to transition, she finally announced two days ago that she is starting on testosterone and that the next time we see her, she will be 'different'. It has been a nightmare for the past several years, but now the real nightmare begins. Like you, I don't know how I will talk about her to friends and relatives. My inclination is to say not at all . . . My heart breaks for families who lose all contact with their trans-identified kids, but at least they have the small blessing of not facing your dilemma . . .
I know exactly how you feel, and you are right only parents can know, people who just know and love their children. So much natural joy and pure happiness - the parents'pride goes to waste. No, worse, it turns into pain. We are not to talk happily about our children, we can only cry. I dread every well-meant question And how's your son? What does he do now? I answer truthfully, Elias just finished high school. And it feels so fake. I'not supposed to call him Elias. Nobody but us can unverstand this pain. I' m deeply sorry for you, my heart goes out to you. You are not alone.
You are making such an important point about the on-going pain this insidious ideology causes. Not only are parents mourning the loss of their sons and daughters to this terrible mind virus, but it is stealing all the most beautiful moments in their lives when families should be gathered to celebrate but instead just feel the knife twist deeper.
I have a son who believes he is a woman, who has (so I've heard through the grapevine as I haven't seen or heard from him for nigh on two years) a partner whose pronouns are it and it's. What can I say about that?
There are people placed in powerful positions within government bodies playing this silly pronoun game. They lead our children astray. How can we protect our children from this insanity?
I know this is a cult using mind manipulation because my daughter was so intelligent, got depressed, ostracized from her girl group and exposed to this in school then succumbed to the struggle sessions and found her glitter group. She now believes and violently yells that I’m an abusive transphobe when I refuse to call her my son and use the wrong pronouns. That, my dear, is insane. Her mind is captured. My daughter is in there somewhere but something terrible is stirring the tea cup.
Many of us have had this same experience. We are blamed for not believing this insanity.
Over the past few years I have had the occasional glimpse of my daughter hiding in the body of a strange man. Her mind was captured by evil. I never wanted to believe in evil, but what I saw can not be described by any other word.
Evil is rampant right now. You are correct! This whole trans thing is the epitome of evil, starting with deception. Destruction, fear, anger, dishonesty, division, etc. We must keep our eyes and hearts open.
Tears. Such a sad story. I could feel your broken heart. I honestly cannot even fathom how difficult and painful this wedding experience was. Even more shocking is that you are not alone - so many other Mothers connected to this sub stack are agonizing the loss of their son or daughter and then having to face special events, like a wedding while being forced to “pretend” that everything is fine! This is ludicrous.
Those of us who do not do “pretending” are ostracised.
Everything is not fine, and I will say that, with terrible consequences. I have to live my life in hiding, yet my anger at this injustice will not let me say nothing.
The world has turned values upside down. Evil groups have too much influence on government. I see some hope as a few brave politicians fight back. I belong in the group that is fighting back. From that group I hope not to be ostracised.
This is so sad. I really feel for you. I know this is going to be a difficult day, and believe me, there are plenty of people who support you and root for you. I assume you are going so you can show that you love your daughter <-- that's what I would concentrate on. In your head, repeat: "I'm here to love my daughter." As for what to say..... I would just arm myself with a few key phrases and use them to answer all questions: "Isn't it a lovely day?" or "Isn't this great?" or "It's so good to see you!" "It's so nice to be around family!" "I'm so glad you came." And then say, "How have you been?" or "Where are you staying?" or turn it around to ask them a question instead. Just ignore the question that was asked of you and answer with one of those canned answers. For example, if someone says, "What do you think of your son's ____?" Smile and say, "Isn't this great? It's so good to see you. How have you been?" And try to enjoy yourself. You are a great person. You raised your daughter right -- she was messed up by our broken world. If you're surrounded by cult members, feel free to pity them all, but don't let them pull you down into that muck. You are free of the nonsense. Smile and love and hope that one day all the rest of them can be free too.
12.16.23, 730am, Punky and I thank you sooo much for this response of truly excellent advice Moonbeam. I'm going to take your advice too. This is excellent. Again, thank you.
Beautiful answer. And, I think, this is an expression of the strength of your love for your child-to put your own needs second, to avoid escalating conflict on the wedding day, to be there for the child you still KNOW. Because, no matter what, this IS the child you brought into the world and loved. And, if she does detransition, acts like this will make it so much easier for her to come running back to you for help and guidance. If she does not, acts like this will help you preserve the relationship between you-because it sounds like you do still have it, albeit in a much different form than you imagined. And, no matter what, if you both care about each other and that relationship, even if you disagree on everything else, then there will always be something still linking you together.
You are correct. Finding it hard to answer the many comments (didn't expect so much response!) but yes I'm there to show I love my daughter. Thank you.
One of the questions I've had all through this process is: "how are any of these psychologically screwed up and physically mangled people ever going to find mates?"
I'm pleased your daughter (because that's what she'll always be) has found someone. On the other hand, I have a very hard time picturing what kind of man would be interested in a woman who dresses as a man and calls herself a man but lacks a functional penis or the other accoutrements of maleness. I can't think any straight men would go for it. Would gay men be interested? Or do trans people just marry each other? ("Transman marries transwoman and spend the next 10 years fighting about who gets to be on top") I know that sounds callous, and I'm sorry, but truthfully, it's never made sense to me, and I doubt I'm the only one.
I feel exactly as confused as you. There is a transwoman living across the street from me. She has a partner who is a sea captain. Is he gay I wonder, because how would it work otherwise?
I mean, I can't speak for them, but I do know people, myself included, who have found that they are attracted to individual people-of either sex-moreso than to just "men" or "women". Perhaps that simply makes us all bisexual, but perhaps the terminology really doesn't matter? I've never understood the need to call oneself straight, gay, or whatever... Just love who you love, follow love and attraction when you feel it (if it's safe and healthy) and who cares what it's called?
Having said that...I genuinely hope that this couple is happy and love each other. Because, as someone else said, it will certainly make life easier in some ways for both but especially for the trans one. And I trust the OP when she said the fiance is lovely, so I do have such hope that this can be a bright, healthy spot in the daughter's life. Because, even if the spouse validates the trans identity, my personal opinion is that being loved for who we are, and having genuine support in our lives, can only make us happier and healthier and more secure in ourselves. And, if ones trans identity is caused by pain or social issues or Identity confusion or trauma or so on, then anything that helps that person feel more secure and loved and whole-for who they really are, not for the costume we all present to the world-can only help them find their way out.
I hadn't caught that. So the physical requirements of sex aren't such a big deal for lesbians? I can kind of see that. Of course, since the lesbian is marrying a "man" I suppose she's straight now. (Yes, I'm kidding.) Thanks for pointing that out.
But the thing to remember is this: whether she marries a man or a woman, the trans daughter will never have a pleasurable sex life due to the effects of testosterone and any surgeries she has. So, this will make it a strange marriage without a sex life. That could be problematic from the beginning and as things progress in her transition, with more health complications ahead. So one must ask, what is the point of getting married vs. two biological women simply living together indefinitely, in love? Love doesn't always result in marriage. I don't understand this. I don't know how old these two are, but they are likely to grow up someday and have different feelings. It's so sad. At least the trans daughter will have someone to see her through her medical and psychological nightmares to come. Her mother's work is done and she deserves the freedom to cut herself out of this heartbreaking equation. Let someone else deal with the madness! I hope the mother treats herself to a long, beautiful vacation far, far away from this brokenness. She deserves to let her daughter lie in the bed she made for herself. She deserves peace.
A wonderful comment for pointing out that once you a society alters marriage to be a matter of personal fulfillment or legal recognition (instead of producing and raising the next generation) limiting marriage is impossible. Many conservatives were warning in the early 2000's that we had already lost on gay marriage because we had given up the sacramental nature of straight marriage.
Yup. The deluded cult member daughter is marrying a woman. It is hard to fathom how a lesbian (or anyone not "transed") would not be averse to this level of dysfunction. This shows the scope of people infected with this horrid ideology, which is downright depressing.
how do I answer people who ask me how proud I am of my son?
"I don't have a son. But I have always and will always love my daughter."
"how do I answer people who ask me how proud I am of my son?"
"It's a very happy day for us"
I empathize. I just attended my son's graduation at which he walked across the stage to a new ridiculous female name. Every occasion that should be happy is a source of grief
So sorry. No words to say to ease your pain.
Can totally relate
When the full truth of this demonic, anti-reproductive family finally comes to light, you can sue everyone into desolute poverty, but that will not give your daughter back. At this point, I suggest getting prayer from as many people as possible. You have my prayers.
it's people like you who spew rhetoric like this that make lesbian and gay youth feel the need to transition.
What?! She literally said that her daughter's fiance is a lovely person. It seems that she'd be more okay with a lesbian wedding than a false one where her daughter is lying to herself and everyone else about who and what she is. It automatically makes this poor mother, her daughter, and her entire history with her daughter feel cancelled. Erased. Nullified and void. Her daughter has no business getting married (why is this even legal?) in her deluded frame of mind! Marriage is more than a legal piece of paper. ...Wackadoodle!
How can anyone even stand witness to a wedding of such dishonesty? Our dystopian new world. What is the point of these two young women marrying when it's under extremely false pretenses? They are both entering a contractual LIE! I could cry buckets for this poor mother. Instead I will pray for her peace of mind and strength to walk away from this tragic disgrace.
I don't think she meant me (the author) but thanks for the defence!
There are a few gay couples in my family already and some hetero who don't want children. Quite frankly it's none of anyone else's business whether another couple want children (or can have them)!
🫣😢 It’s truly insanity!
After several years of throwing obstacles in our daughter's path, achieving small delay after small delay in her drive to transition, she finally announced two days ago that she is starting on testosterone and that the next time we see her, she will be 'different'. It has been a nightmare for the past several years, but now the real nightmare begins. Like you, I don't know how I will talk about her to friends and relatives. My inclination is to say not at all . . . My heart breaks for families who lose all contact with their trans-identified kids, but at least they have the small blessing of not facing your dilemma . . .
I'm so sorry.
I know exactly how you feel, and you are right only parents can know, people who just know and love their children. So much natural joy and pure happiness - the parents'pride goes to waste. No, worse, it turns into pain. We are not to talk happily about our children, we can only cry. I dread every well-meant question And how's your son? What does he do now? I answer truthfully, Elias just finished high school. And it feels so fake. I'not supposed to call him Elias. Nobody but us can unverstand this pain. I' m deeply sorry for you, my heart goes out to you. You are not alone.
You are making such an important point about the on-going pain this insidious ideology causes. Not only are parents mourning the loss of their sons and daughters to this terrible mind virus, but it is stealing all the most beautiful moments in their lives when families should be gathered to celebrate but instead just feel the knife twist deeper.
I have a son who believes he is a woman, who has (so I've heard through the grapevine as I haven't seen or heard from him for nigh on two years) a partner whose pronouns are it and it's. What can I say about that?
There are people placed in powerful positions within government bodies playing this silly pronoun game. They lead our children astray. How can we protect our children from this insanity?
It’s monstrous! Absolutely monstrous! What the F is it?
It's evil bullshit
I know this is a cult using mind manipulation because my daughter was so intelligent, got depressed, ostracized from her girl group and exposed to this in school then succumbed to the struggle sessions and found her glitter group. She now believes and violently yells that I’m an abusive transphobe when I refuse to call her my son and use the wrong pronouns. That, my dear, is insane. Her mind is captured. My daughter is in there somewhere but something terrible is stirring the tea cup.
Many of us have had this same experience. We are blamed for not believing this insanity.
Over the past few years I have had the occasional glimpse of my daughter hiding in the body of a strange man. Her mind was captured by evil. I never wanted to believe in evil, but what I saw can not be described by any other word.
Evil is real. Pray to God for a miracle.
Evil is rampant right now. You are correct! This whole trans thing is the epitome of evil, starting with deception. Destruction, fear, anger, dishonesty, division, etc. We must keep our eyes and hearts open.
Tears. Such a sad story. I could feel your broken heart. I honestly cannot even fathom how difficult and painful this wedding experience was. Even more shocking is that you are not alone - so many other Mothers connected to this sub stack are agonizing the loss of their son or daughter and then having to face special events, like a wedding while being forced to “pretend” that everything is fine! This is ludicrous.
Those of us who do not do “pretending” are ostracised.
Everything is not fine, and I will say that, with terrible consequences. I have to live my life in hiding, yet my anger at this injustice will not let me say nothing.
How can anyone be ostracized for REFUSING TO REJECT God's plan for mankind??
The world has turned values upside down. Evil groups have too much influence on government. I see some hope as a few brave politicians fight back. I belong in the group that is fighting back. From that group I hope not to be ostracised.
Just please don't tell me you're paying for any part of the wedding.
This is so sad. I really feel for you. I know this is going to be a difficult day, and believe me, there are plenty of people who support you and root for you. I assume you are going so you can show that you love your daughter <-- that's what I would concentrate on. In your head, repeat: "I'm here to love my daughter." As for what to say..... I would just arm myself with a few key phrases and use them to answer all questions: "Isn't it a lovely day?" or "Isn't this great?" or "It's so good to see you!" "It's so nice to be around family!" "I'm so glad you came." And then say, "How have you been?" or "Where are you staying?" or turn it around to ask them a question instead. Just ignore the question that was asked of you and answer with one of those canned answers. For example, if someone says, "What do you think of your son's ____?" Smile and say, "Isn't this great? It's so good to see you. How have you been?" And try to enjoy yourself. You are a great person. You raised your daughter right -- she was messed up by our broken world. If you're surrounded by cult members, feel free to pity them all, but don't let them pull you down into that muck. You are free of the nonsense. Smile and love and hope that one day all the rest of them can be free too.
12.16.23, 730am, Punky and I thank you sooo much for this response of truly excellent advice Moonbeam. I'm going to take your advice too. This is excellent. Again, thank you.
Beautiful answer. And, I think, this is an expression of the strength of your love for your child-to put your own needs second, to avoid escalating conflict on the wedding day, to be there for the child you still KNOW. Because, no matter what, this IS the child you brought into the world and loved. And, if she does detransition, acts like this will make it so much easier for her to come running back to you for help and guidance. If she does not, acts like this will help you preserve the relationship between you-because it sounds like you do still have it, albeit in a much different form than you imagined. And, no matter what, if you both care about each other and that relationship, even if you disagree on everything else, then there will always be something still linking you together.
You are correct. Finding it hard to answer the many comments (didn't expect so much response!) but yes I'm there to show I love my daughter. Thank you.
One of the questions I've had all through this process is: "how are any of these psychologically screwed up and physically mangled people ever going to find mates?"
I'm pleased your daughter (because that's what she'll always be) has found someone. On the other hand, I have a very hard time picturing what kind of man would be interested in a woman who dresses as a man and calls herself a man but lacks a functional penis or the other accoutrements of maleness. I can't think any straight men would go for it. Would gay men be interested? Or do trans people just marry each other? ("Transman marries transwoman and spend the next 10 years fighting about who gets to be on top") I know that sounds callous, and I'm sorry, but truthfully, it's never made sense to me, and I doubt I'm the only one.
I feel exactly as confused as you. There is a transwoman living across the street from me. She has a partner who is a sea captain. Is he gay I wonder, because how would it work otherwise?
I mean, I can't speak for them, but I do know people, myself included, who have found that they are attracted to individual people-of either sex-moreso than to just "men" or "women". Perhaps that simply makes us all bisexual, but perhaps the terminology really doesn't matter? I've never understood the need to call oneself straight, gay, or whatever... Just love who you love, follow love and attraction when you feel it (if it's safe and healthy) and who cares what it's called?
Having said that...I genuinely hope that this couple is happy and love each other. Because, as someone else said, it will certainly make life easier in some ways for both but especially for the trans one. And I trust the OP when she said the fiance is lovely, so I do have such hope that this can be a bright, healthy spot in the daughter's life. Because, even if the spouse validates the trans identity, my personal opinion is that being loved for who we are, and having genuine support in our lives, can only make us happier and healthier and more secure in ourselves. And, if ones trans identity is caused by pain or social issues or Identity confusion or trauma or so on, then anything that helps that person feel more secure and loved and whole-for who they really are, not for the costume we all present to the world-can only help them find their way out.
From the article one might infer that the daughter is a lesbian and is marrying another woman. The author refers to her future daughter-in-law...
I hadn't caught that. So the physical requirements of sex aren't such a big deal for lesbians? I can kind of see that. Of course, since the lesbian is marrying a "man" I suppose she's straight now. (Yes, I'm kidding.) Thanks for pointing that out.
But the thing to remember is this: whether she marries a man or a woman, the trans daughter will never have a pleasurable sex life due to the effects of testosterone and any surgeries she has. So, this will make it a strange marriage without a sex life. That could be problematic from the beginning and as things progress in her transition, with more health complications ahead. So one must ask, what is the point of getting married vs. two biological women simply living together indefinitely, in love? Love doesn't always result in marriage. I don't understand this. I don't know how old these two are, but they are likely to grow up someday and have different feelings. It's so sad. At least the trans daughter will have someone to see her through her medical and psychological nightmares to come. Her mother's work is done and she deserves the freedom to cut herself out of this heartbreaking equation. Let someone else deal with the madness! I hope the mother treats herself to a long, beautiful vacation far, far away from this brokenness. She deserves to let her daughter lie in the bed she made for herself. She deserves peace.
A wonderful comment for pointing out that once you a society alters marriage to be a matter of personal fulfillment or legal recognition (instead of producing and raising the next generation) limiting marriage is impossible. Many conservatives were warning in the early 2000's that we had already lost on gay marriage because we had given up the sacramental nature of straight marriage.
Yup. The deluded cult member daughter is marrying a woman. It is hard to fathom how a lesbian (or anyone not "transed") would not be averse to this level of dysfunction. This shows the scope of people infected with this horrid ideology, which is downright depressing.