This piece, along with the comments added from the author, is homophobic. This supposed 'third way' concept is advocating gay conversion, but calling it something else. I am disappointed in PITT for publishing this. This should be removed and an apology issued at once.
PITT does not advocate conversion therapy. In fact, numerous essays have pointed out that gender affirming care is a type of conversion therapy as it medicalizes (and often sterilizes) gender non-conforming and same sex attracted kids and young adults. The author here refers to “reconciling psychological identity with the biological identity”. Aligning the mind with the body (i.e. accepting one’s sex) is heathier than attempting, via drugs and surgery, to change one’s sex, which is not possible. Yes, he also writes of his personal shame about his homosexual attraction but that is his personal experience. Again, PITT does not advocate for gay conversion therapy.
Alcoholism is considered a chronic disease. Would you consider a 70-year-old abstinent alcoholic who hasn't drunk for 50 years to be still an alcoholic? Should the same apply to homosexuality? Homosexuality is different from alcoholism, but what they have in common is the role of the central system of reinforcement by reward.
Alcoholism is considered a chronic disease. Would you consider a 70-year-old abstinent alcoholic who hasn't drunk for 50 years to be an alcoholic? Should the same apply to homosexuality?
Third way approach called ‘reconciliation therapy’ - I have never heard of this term, but it makes sense. I am glad to know there are solutions to help a confused and terrified adolescent. How many kids have had early childhood trauma, been molested, bullied, suffered a loss of a family member or close friend, is on the high-end of the spectrum, and terrified of puberty? Instead of affirming that a child was born in the wrong body, we need to figure out the "why" and take a look at all the factors involved. What role, if any played a part in their wanting to reject who they are? I have such empathy and compassion for these kids who one day wake up lost and confused. Helping a child help themselves is the better solution by giving them time to adjust, to grow-up and to accept who they are is far better and healthier than handing out cross-sex hormones and encouraging body mutilation. Thank you for writing your story and sharing your past with us. You give us all hope.
Hope for what? That we can save a gay person from a life of perversion and sin? That we can turn a pervert into a "normal" heterosexual? "Reconciliation therapy" is a euphemism for homophobic brainwashing. If it "worked" for the author of this piece, I won't guess what that means or why it "worked." But we know too much about the nature of human sexuality to create new claims about its nature.
Children who believe they're trans fall into several categories. They are either:
(a) autistic;
(b) victims of sexual abuse;
(c) brainwashed by the schools, social media, and peer pressure; or
(d) most frequently, awareness of same-sex attraction leading to homophobia and shame.
This last category is the most prevalent. The majority of gender-nonconforming children will grow up to be gay if we don't shame them but just allow them to go through puberty without intervention, at which point they figure it out by themselves. This is such a familiar experience for gay women and men that the statistics reflecting this fact are received by gay people with "tell me something I don't know."
Homophobia still exists, and it can be powerfully internalized. I should know. I'm pushing 73 and recall vividly lying awake in bed as a teenager, gripped with shame and terror because of my romantic and sexual attraction to my best girlfriend. Fortunately for me, the times they were a-changing. An older friend who was in college told me that a gay rights group had formed at her school, and she thought it was great. She did? I fought her on it, because the last thing I wanted to be was a "homo." It took years, but I finally got where I needed be.
The author of this article was riddled with such a serious case of internalized homophobia that he couldn't accept himself. This is not new. But gay conversion therapy, despite the use of torture (electroshocks were used to cure gay men), does not work. One cannot fabricate the desire to have sexual intercourse with a member of the opposite sex or, even more importantly, to experience romantic love for a member of the opposite sex.
It bears mentioning: sexual orientation is how and whom we love, not simply who we have sex with.
To PITT: I'm one of your most enthusiastic supporters. I send many people here because it's one of the finest and most authentic resources for parents who don't sleep at night because they lost their child to the trans cult. I'm not in favor of censorship, and PITT has the right to print whatever parents' writings they feel will be helpful to this population of desperate parents. But the view that homosexuality is a problem to be solved is regressive and offensive, given all we know about human sexuality and romantic love. It will only further confuse and hurt the trans-captured kids who are statistically on their way to discovering their gay identity once they go through puberty...or whatever identity they like, as long as they know what biological sex they are!
If you actually support LGB people, keep this kind of content to a minimum please, or I predict that you'll see PITT devolve into an irrelevant, homophobic screed.
Yes. Another lesbian here who agrees with everything you’ve said! Given the widespread public confusion between homosexuality and trans identification — aided in large part by the forced teaming of the LGB with the TQ, it’s crucial for readers to keep in mind an important difference between the two, best articulated by Helen Joyce (paraphrased): Gay people want others to accept them for who they are. Trans people want others to accept them for who they aren’t. The refusal to accept reality, specifically one’s sexed reality, distinguishes “gender dysphoria” as a mental health condition. There’s nothing about being gay or lesbian that entails a maladaptive denial of reality.
Gay and lesbian people often experience “gender dysphoria” in their youth as they try to make sense of their same sex attraction in a world that is (and always will be) heterosexual. It’s easy to see how that young person might conclude that if only they were the other sex, they would fit in just fine. In other words, the same sex attraction is likely an antecedent of “gender dysphoria,” and the dysphoria likely arises because theirs is a minority sexual orientation with a long history of societal disapprobation.
How could I get in contact with sexologists and therapists who should like to know more about the "3rd way". Because I have lost too much time with therapists ans analysts who were incompetent for my big problem. I had to wait 15 years before meeting a competent sexologist. The others told me "you only have to accept that you are homosexual" which didn't be a right response for my deep need.
As I said to a recovering client last night, most psychotherapy is reconciliation therapy. We might also term it acceptance therapy. People reconcile themselves and accept themselves. Before the LGB assault on the culture in the 1970's, it was quite common for individuals that had unwanted same sex attraction to receive successful conversion therapy or what is better called Reparative Therapy. It works. Then the progressive political activists came along, looking for ways to solidify and justify homosexuality and other deviant sex practices like masochism (and damage Christianity) so they created the conversion therapy bogeyman. That sociopathic activism paved the way for the ultimate trans acceptance. The best outcome today would be to repeal all of the conversion therapy bans and leave the choice of psychotherapy to patients and their therapists. Many people would learn to eliminate unwanted same sex obsessions as they had in the past, and we would be reversing the decades-long historical accident that has harmed so many people.
I am glad to read that you know other cases like mine who have followed the 3rd way with success. Please, invite them to witness in PITT or to contact me to work with sexologists and therapists for the elaboration of 3rd way approaches and techniques. In my case, I had to experiment 9 incompetent therapists over 8 years before finding a competent and wonderful sexologist who helped me to succeed. If the therapist doesn't believe that you can succeed in the 3rd way, change becomes impossible.
Thank you for your feedback. Find here some information about my context. I am French speaking and born in 1950 in Belgium in a very conservative family: aristocracy + catholic but a loving family. I had a too loving relation with my mother but a bad relation with my father who was 100% involved in his busyness and distant and authoritarian with his children (before his deep burnout). In the years '60, gender transition was a great taboo and homosexuality was considered as negative as pedophilia today. This is why I was terrified and it was impossible to talk of it with any one. .When I discovered at school that men were XY and that hormone therapy and surgery would never change that, I understood that the only solution was changing my mind, not my body. This is why I asked help to a mental health service at the age of 18. The first year, I had the support of a psychiatric nurse who was wonderful and this solved the problem of my depression and suicide ideas. After that, I had psychotherapists who were incompetent in gender dysphoria and encouraged me to live as a homosexual. But this didn't fit with the fact that I wanted to become 100% "normal" in the eyes of my family, which means being cisgender and heterosexual. During 7 years I consulted 6 different but therapists and analysts who were not competent for my problem. After that, I consulted Dr Rucquoy, a psychiatrist who taught sexology at the university and he proposed me to use a CBT technique to have relations with women. It was very challenging and even terrifying for me but it succeeded and I discovered that I was a man able to have heterosexual relations. Did all my homosexual trends disappear since then? No, because in my brain, my reward system was marked by the memory of 15 years of homosexual fantasies. It is like the belief of AA about ex-alcoholics who will never be recovered at 100% even it they become abstinent for 50 years. But this is not dramatic, because I developed also heterosexual pleasure. So, I became bi-sexual but faithful to my partners. I married a woman who was very feminist, which wasn't always easy, but we had 4 daughters and lived 33 years together in a rather good harmony. At the retirement age, I was again in depression and she left me. But I have found a new partner with who I have a beautiful and happy relation. In the end, what I experienced is that "IDENTITY IS A FLEXIBLE CONSTRUCT". For example, if my national identity is Belgian, but if my dream was to become American and that I would live in the USA for 30 years with pleasure, I would feel 90% American with 10% European roots. Identity moves with experience. This is also valid for gender dysphoria.
Did the therapy change your sexual attractions? I suppose yes. As it deviated your sexuality to more heterosexual it also improved your gender identity and vice versa. Any therapy for gender dysphoria should aim to convert to heterosexuality to be successful long term. Bisexuals undergo regular changes in sexual attractions, yet it is supposedly impossible to achieve with therapy.
Exactly. Bisexuality is a temporary state that moves to heterosexuality with psychological growth and maturity. Sometimes a therapist can help. In a sick society such as the one we currently inhabit; healthy norms and role modeling are inadequate while deviant exposures are rampant.
I have to share a secret with you... When I was a dysphoric adolescent in therapy, I decided to never use homosexual fantasies during masturbation (which was frequent at that time) but in place of imagining myself making love with a man, I did become in fantasy the male who seduced me. At that time, it was Sean Connery. I imagined thus myself being him making love with women. It was pleasent and my central reward system registered that as pleasent heterosexual relations myself being the male ;-))It helped me very much to accept my male body and identity. The next step has been done later with the help of Dr Rucquoy and CBT.
This is a very interesting perspective. I'd like to hear more about the author's experience - since it stated that he once had homosexual attraction, but then had a heterosexual relationship. It's intriguing. But the larger point is that the author was given a path that was far less invasive and dangerous, and look at the rich and fulfilling life he was able to lead. We've so lost our way.
Yes, the third path needs a competent sexologist, but today, in many countries, these therapists could be convicted for doing "conversion therapy". These laws should be abolished.
What is terrible is that the psychiatrist who saved my life in 1976 with CBT would today be convicted by the courts for practicing conversion therapy. The law must be changed and sex therapists should be trained in the third way. You can contact the author of the testimony at georges.straten@gmail.com
Thank-you for sharing your story. I am confused about your reconciliation with your body and psyche. Did your earlier trans-identity involve cross-dressing or did you eventually realize you were gay because of therapy? Yet you married a woman?
Yes, I have never had homosexual relations even if I was obsessed by homosexuality. After my CBT therapy I have had 10 female partners and I married one of them. I never dressed like a woman, except once for fun.
Your testimony is so very helpful and I pray it blesses many others as it has blessed me. Unfortunately, my daughter took path #2 five years ago and says she is the happiest she’s ever been - I can only wait and pray to our Lord and Savior, that He will draw her to Him in my lifetime.
I love this piece. Thank you to the author. I notice something striking.
The author describes an obsession of “not letting my trans identity show” during the 1970’s. In general, adolescents and young adults who have succumbed to more modern day social contagion, don’t seek to pass. It seems as if there is some elevated social status in appearing conflicted and suspended betwixt genders.
Yes, this is a phenomenon in these last generations. I imagine it has to do with the search for a new identity and belonging to a community, which is normal during adolescence, but they should be correctly accompanied.
This is an interesting story and thank you for sharing it. I'm glad to hear of your happy outcome.
I think that by now though we've become aware that soooo many different experiences get put into one bucket labeled "gender dysphoria". It sounds like you might have fallen in the male homosexual transsexual bucket? For so many of our daughters - I think they actually become "dysphoric" when they change their names, clothes, hair, and attitude. Then, with each pharma and medical step they feel more "dysphoria" as they experience more and more the gulf between female and the impossible goal of "being a man". (Perhaps after an interval of "euphoria" from being on testosterone or getting their way/what the cult instructs.) Some are lesbians and some are attracted to boys (like my confused daughter). For them, I think this all operates more like a cult - with loss of identity and disconnect from family being the first step.
In the years '70, there were cults like Jesus Children, etc, but not about gender dysphoria and hormone therapy. I don't feel competent for giving advice for the present phenomenon of dysphoria among girls because it has also to do with social networks.
I watched a pair of videos that drive home the cult aspect regarding the surge in teen girls and young women who "have gender dysphoria" and seek "treatment".
Also, It troubles me that the "remedy" is still called "hormone therapy" when testosterone for young women is destructive to their insides (not something they really think about). And, if they have a job with any kind of insurance it will be paid for in the US even though there is no track record of such "therapy" improving mental health. Mostly Pharma wins.
Once their breasts become hairy they feel more "dysphoria" and tend to have them amputated. If they take the cutely named "T" for too long they tend to need a hysterectomy, etc. They might have been socially awkward but more or less OK before medicalization but can wind up in a very bad place. They tend not to want to maintain relationships with non-believer parents.
This is an interesting biography, but I wonder if the writer can offer more information on his transformation: It sounds like you were, according to Blanchard's typology, a homosexual transsexual, but through therapy became accepting of your bisexuality, or maybe even became heterosexual? Or is the shame you felt related to an autogynephilic paraphilia, i.e., you were a fetishistic cross-dresser?
Am I following your story correctly? In any case, I appreciate your sharing your perspective.
You understand it correctly, but I had nothing to do with autogynephilic paraphilia. If you read my other replies to comments, you will get more information.
thanks for sharing. i always appreciate expanding our perspectives and our options.
" I’ve long understood that we each have a masculine and feminine aspect to our personalities, our psychological understanding of ourselves and the world. And the proportions of those aspects vary among individuals in a way that’s far from black and white. As well, there are many different aspects to the masculine and feminine archetypes themselves. The Greek pantheon offers an ample menu.
Why is gender allegedly such a crucial and overwhelming part of the human psyche? Are the brains, personalities, emotions, and most of the human bodies of men and women really so incredibly different? No. We all know women who are relatively ‘masculine’ (whatever that is), and men who are relatively ‘feminine’ (whatever that is). And when people are talking about nonsexual topics, they seem perfectly capable of relating to each other as equals and focusing on the topic of conversation without dragging sex and gender into it. Consider our chakras; only one is about sex and gender, the others are all just about being a human."
As well, in Maslow's pyramid, which resembles the chakra paradigm, sex belongs in just one of the levels.
This piece, along with the comments added from the author, is homophobic. This supposed 'third way' concept is advocating gay conversion, but calling it something else. I am disappointed in PITT for publishing this. This should be removed and an apology issued at once.
PITT does not advocate conversion therapy. In fact, numerous essays have pointed out that gender affirming care is a type of conversion therapy as it medicalizes (and often sterilizes) gender non-conforming and same sex attracted kids and young adults. The author here refers to “reconciling psychological identity with the biological identity”. Aligning the mind with the body (i.e. accepting one’s sex) is heathier than attempting, via drugs and surgery, to change one’s sex, which is not possible. Yes, he also writes of his personal shame about his homosexual attraction but that is his personal experience. Again, PITT does not advocate for gay conversion therapy.
Alcoholism is considered a chronic disease. Would you consider a 70-year-old abstinent alcoholic who hasn't drunk for 50 years to be still an alcoholic? Should the same apply to homosexuality? Homosexuality is different from alcoholism, but what they have in common is the role of the central system of reinforcement by reward.
Yeah let’s just all skip over the part where he says he cured is homosexuality.
Alcoholism is considered a chronic disease. Would you consider a 70-year-old abstinent alcoholic who hasn't drunk for 50 years to be an alcoholic? Should the same apply to homosexuality?
Your comment makes no sense.
A webinar is planned on Saturday 22nd March at 2.30 PM (USA) or 8.30 PM (CET) to share Q & A with the author of the post "3rd way". Ask andreaascari@gmail.com for the use of this link https://meet.google.com/ceh-fwvu-kqx
Third way approach called ‘reconciliation therapy’ - I have never heard of this term, but it makes sense. I am glad to know there are solutions to help a confused and terrified adolescent. How many kids have had early childhood trauma, been molested, bullied, suffered a loss of a family member or close friend, is on the high-end of the spectrum, and terrified of puberty? Instead of affirming that a child was born in the wrong body, we need to figure out the "why" and take a look at all the factors involved. What role, if any played a part in their wanting to reject who they are? I have such empathy and compassion for these kids who one day wake up lost and confused. Helping a child help themselves is the better solution by giving them time to adjust, to grow-up and to accept who they are is far better and healthier than handing out cross-sex hormones and encouraging body mutilation. Thank you for writing your story and sharing your past with us. You give us all hope.
Hope for what? That we can save a gay person from a life of perversion and sin? That we can turn a pervert into a "normal" heterosexual? "Reconciliation therapy" is a euphemism for homophobic brainwashing. If it "worked" for the author of this piece, I won't guess what that means or why it "worked." But we know too much about the nature of human sexuality to create new claims about its nature.
Children who believe they're trans fall into several categories. They are either:
(a) autistic;
(b) victims of sexual abuse;
(c) brainwashed by the schools, social media, and peer pressure; or
(d) most frequently, awareness of same-sex attraction leading to homophobia and shame.
This last category is the most prevalent. The majority of gender-nonconforming children will grow up to be gay if we don't shame them but just allow them to go through puberty without intervention, at which point they figure it out by themselves. This is such a familiar experience for gay women and men that the statistics reflecting this fact are received by gay people with "tell me something I don't know."
Homophobia still exists, and it can be powerfully internalized. I should know. I'm pushing 73 and recall vividly lying awake in bed as a teenager, gripped with shame and terror because of my romantic and sexual attraction to my best girlfriend. Fortunately for me, the times they were a-changing. An older friend who was in college told me that a gay rights group had formed at her school, and she thought it was great. She did? I fought her on it, because the last thing I wanted to be was a "homo." It took years, but I finally got where I needed be.
The author of this article was riddled with such a serious case of internalized homophobia that he couldn't accept himself. This is not new. But gay conversion therapy, despite the use of torture (electroshocks were used to cure gay men), does not work. One cannot fabricate the desire to have sexual intercourse with a member of the opposite sex or, even more importantly, to experience romantic love for a member of the opposite sex.
It bears mentioning: sexual orientation is how and whom we love, not simply who we have sex with.
To PITT: I'm one of your most enthusiastic supporters. I send many people here because it's one of the finest and most authentic resources for parents who don't sleep at night because they lost their child to the trans cult. I'm not in favor of censorship, and PITT has the right to print whatever parents' writings they feel will be helpful to this population of desperate parents. But the view that homosexuality is a problem to be solved is regressive and offensive, given all we know about human sexuality and romantic love. It will only further confuse and hurt the trans-captured kids who are statistically on their way to discovering their gay identity once they go through puberty...or whatever identity they like, as long as they know what biological sex they are!
If you actually support LGB people, keep this kind of content to a minimum please, or I predict that you'll see PITT devolve into an irrelevant, homophobic screed.
Yes. Another lesbian here who agrees with everything you’ve said! Given the widespread public confusion between homosexuality and trans identification — aided in large part by the forced teaming of the LGB with the TQ, it’s crucial for readers to keep in mind an important difference between the two, best articulated by Helen Joyce (paraphrased): Gay people want others to accept them for who they are. Trans people want others to accept them for who they aren’t. The refusal to accept reality, specifically one’s sexed reality, distinguishes “gender dysphoria” as a mental health condition. There’s nothing about being gay or lesbian that entails a maladaptive denial of reality.
Gay and lesbian people often experience “gender dysphoria” in their youth as they try to make sense of their same sex attraction in a world that is (and always will be) heterosexual. It’s easy to see how that young person might conclude that if only they were the other sex, they would fit in just fine. In other words, the same sex attraction is likely an antecedent of “gender dysphoria,” and the dysphoria likely arises because theirs is a minority sexual orientation with a long history of societal disapprobation.
How could I get in contact with sexologists and therapists who should like to know more about the "3rd way". Because I have lost too much time with therapists ans analysts who were incompetent for my big problem. I had to wait 15 years before meeting a competent sexologist. The others told me "you only have to accept that you are homosexual" which didn't be a right response for my deep need.
As I said to a recovering client last night, most psychotherapy is reconciliation therapy. We might also term it acceptance therapy. People reconcile themselves and accept themselves. Before the LGB assault on the culture in the 1970's, it was quite common for individuals that had unwanted same sex attraction to receive successful conversion therapy or what is better called Reparative Therapy. It works. Then the progressive political activists came along, looking for ways to solidify and justify homosexuality and other deviant sex practices like masochism (and damage Christianity) so they created the conversion therapy bogeyman. That sociopathic activism paved the way for the ultimate trans acceptance. The best outcome today would be to repeal all of the conversion therapy bans and leave the choice of psychotherapy to patients and their therapists. Many people would learn to eliminate unwanted same sex obsessions as they had in the past, and we would be reversing the decades-long historical accident that has harmed so many people.
I am glad to read that you know other cases like mine who have followed the 3rd way with success. Please, invite them to witness in PITT or to contact me to work with sexologists and therapists for the elaboration of 3rd way approaches and techniques. In my case, I had to experiment 9 incompetent therapists over 8 years before finding a competent and wonderful sexologist who helped me to succeed. If the therapist doesn't believe that you can succeed in the 3rd way, change becomes impossible.
Wonderful post, really quite remarkable to hear your perspective. Thank you.
Thank you for your feedback. Find here some information about my context. I am French speaking and born in 1950 in Belgium in a very conservative family: aristocracy + catholic but a loving family. I had a too loving relation with my mother but a bad relation with my father who was 100% involved in his busyness and distant and authoritarian with his children (before his deep burnout). In the years '60, gender transition was a great taboo and homosexuality was considered as negative as pedophilia today. This is why I was terrified and it was impossible to talk of it with any one. .When I discovered at school that men were XY and that hormone therapy and surgery would never change that, I understood that the only solution was changing my mind, not my body. This is why I asked help to a mental health service at the age of 18. The first year, I had the support of a psychiatric nurse who was wonderful and this solved the problem of my depression and suicide ideas. After that, I had psychotherapists who were incompetent in gender dysphoria and encouraged me to live as a homosexual. But this didn't fit with the fact that I wanted to become 100% "normal" in the eyes of my family, which means being cisgender and heterosexual. During 7 years I consulted 6 different but therapists and analysts who were not competent for my problem. After that, I consulted Dr Rucquoy, a psychiatrist who taught sexology at the university and he proposed me to use a CBT technique to have relations with women. It was very challenging and even terrifying for me but it succeeded and I discovered that I was a man able to have heterosexual relations. Did all my homosexual trends disappear since then? No, because in my brain, my reward system was marked by the memory of 15 years of homosexual fantasies. It is like the belief of AA about ex-alcoholics who will never be recovered at 100% even it they become abstinent for 50 years. But this is not dramatic, because I developed also heterosexual pleasure. So, I became bi-sexual but faithful to my partners. I married a woman who was very feminist, which wasn't always easy, but we had 4 daughters and lived 33 years together in a rather good harmony. At the retirement age, I was again in depression and she left me. But I have found a new partner with who I have a beautiful and happy relation. In the end, what I experienced is that "IDENTITY IS A FLEXIBLE CONSTRUCT". For example, if my national identity is Belgian, but if my dream was to become American and that I would live in the USA for 30 years with pleasure, I would feel 90% American with 10% European roots. Identity moves with experience. This is also valid for gender dysphoria.
Did the therapy change your sexual attractions? I suppose yes. As it deviated your sexuality to more heterosexual it also improved your gender identity and vice versa. Any therapy for gender dysphoria should aim to convert to heterosexuality to be successful long term. Bisexuals undergo regular changes in sexual attractions, yet it is supposedly impossible to achieve with therapy.
Exactly. Bisexuality is a temporary state that moves to heterosexuality with psychological growth and maturity. Sometimes a therapist can help. In a sick society such as the one we currently inhabit; healthy norms and role modeling are inadequate while deviant exposures are rampant.
I have to share a secret with you... When I was a dysphoric adolescent in therapy, I decided to never use homosexual fantasies during masturbation (which was frequent at that time) but in place of imagining myself making love with a man, I did become in fantasy the male who seduced me. At that time, it was Sean Connery. I imagined thus myself being him making love with women. It was pleasent and my central reward system registered that as pleasent heterosexual relations myself being the male ;-))It helped me very much to accept my male body and identity. The next step has been done later with the help of Dr Rucquoy and CBT.
Brilliant. Well done and congrats to you.
This is a very interesting perspective. I'd like to hear more about the author's experience - since it stated that he once had homosexual attraction, but then had a heterosexual relationship. It's intriguing. But the larger point is that the author was given a path that was far less invasive and dangerous, and look at the rich and fulfilling life he was able to lead. We've so lost our way.
You are right: "we have lost our way" and I add that gender identity is a flexible construct, for ever.
Yes, the third path needs a competent sexologist, but today, in many countries, these therapists could be convicted for doing "conversion therapy". These laws should be abolished.
Truth. I will stop now.
What will you stop now? Homosexual fantasies? Replace it with fantasies where you will be the person you are attracted by. Is it what you meant?
What is terrible is that the psychiatrist who saved my life in 1976 with CBT would today be convicted by the courts for practicing conversion therapy. The law must be changed and sex therapists should be trained in the third way. You can contact the author of the testimony at georges.straten@gmail.com
Thank-you for sharing your story. I am confused about your reconciliation with your body and psyche. Did your earlier trans-identity involve cross-dressing or did you eventually realize you were gay because of therapy? Yet you married a woman?
Yes, I have never had homosexual relations even if I was obsessed by homosexuality. After my CBT therapy I have had 10 female partners and I married one of them. I never dressed like a woman, except once for fun.
Your testimony is so very helpful and I pray it blesses many others as it has blessed me. Unfortunately, my daughter took path #2 five years ago and says she is the happiest she’s ever been - I can only wait and pray to our Lord and Savior, that He will draw her to Him in my lifetime.
I love this piece. Thank you to the author. I notice something striking.
The author describes an obsession of “not letting my trans identity show” during the 1970’s. In general, adolescents and young adults who have succumbed to more modern day social contagion, don’t seek to pass. It seems as if there is some elevated social status in appearing conflicted and suspended betwixt genders.
Yes, this is a phenomenon in these last generations. I imagine it has to do with the search for a new identity and belonging to a community, which is normal during adolescence, but they should be correctly accompanied.
This is an interesting story and thank you for sharing it. I'm glad to hear of your happy outcome.
I think that by now though we've become aware that soooo many different experiences get put into one bucket labeled "gender dysphoria". It sounds like you might have fallen in the male homosexual transsexual bucket? For so many of our daughters - I think they actually become "dysphoric" when they change their names, clothes, hair, and attitude. Then, with each pharma and medical step they feel more "dysphoria" as they experience more and more the gulf between female and the impossible goal of "being a man". (Perhaps after an interval of "euphoria" from being on testosterone or getting their way/what the cult instructs.) Some are lesbians and some are attracted to boys (like my confused daughter). For them, I think this all operates more like a cult - with loss of identity and disconnect from family being the first step.
In the years '70, there were cults like Jesus Children, etc, but not about gender dysphoria and hormone therapy. I don't feel competent for giving advice for the present phenomenon of dysphoria among girls because it has also to do with social networks.
I watched a pair of videos that drive home the cult aspect regarding the surge in teen girls and young women who "have gender dysphoria" and seek "treatment".
Also, It troubles me that the "remedy" is still called "hormone therapy" when testosterone for young women is destructive to their insides (not something they really think about). And, if they have a job with any kind of insurance it will be paid for in the US even though there is no track record of such "therapy" improving mental health. Mostly Pharma wins.
Once their breasts become hairy they feel more "dysphoria" and tend to have them amputated. If they take the cutely named "T" for too long they tend to need a hysterectomy, etc. They might have been socially awkward but more or less OK before medicalization but can wind up in a very bad place. They tend not to want to maintain relationships with non-believer parents.
The 2 videos:
“Full Episode: Cults, Explained | Netflix”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NWIfiV1_XQ
“The Impact of Social Media on Gender Identity: "Repressed Memories" Case Study”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pf94T4JikcM
This is an interesting biography, but I wonder if the writer can offer more information on his transformation: It sounds like you were, according to Blanchard's typology, a homosexual transsexual, but through therapy became accepting of your bisexuality, or maybe even became heterosexual? Or is the shame you felt related to an autogynephilic paraphilia, i.e., you were a fetishistic cross-dresser?
Am I following your story correctly? In any case, I appreciate your sharing your perspective.
You understand it correctly, but I had nothing to do with autogynephilic paraphilia. If you read my other replies to comments, you will get more information.
thanks for sharing. i always appreciate expanding our perspectives and our options.
" I’ve long understood that we each have a masculine and feminine aspect to our personalities, our psychological understanding of ourselves and the world. And the proportions of those aspects vary among individuals in a way that’s far from black and white. As well, there are many different aspects to the masculine and feminine archetypes themselves. The Greek pantheon offers an ample menu.
Why is gender allegedly such a crucial and overwhelming part of the human psyche? Are the brains, personalities, emotions, and most of the human bodies of men and women really so incredibly different? No. We all know women who are relatively ‘masculine’ (whatever that is), and men who are relatively ‘feminine’ (whatever that is). And when people are talking about nonsexual topics, they seem perfectly capable of relating to each other as equals and focusing on the topic of conversation without dragging sex and gender into it. Consider our chakras; only one is about sex and gender, the others are all just about being a human."
As well, in Maslow's pyramid, which resembles the chakra paradigm, sex belongs in just one of the levels.
https://transcendgenders.blogspot.com/