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GenderRealistMom's avatar

Personally, I wouldn't even bend over backwards avoiding using pronouns with a 9 year old. A 9 y.o. child should know her place in the family hierarchy and should not dictate any rules to her parents and grandparents. And there is no better place to build up a bit of tolerance for mild discomfort than in the presence of a loving family. A 9 y.o. is not even a teen or a preteen, she is not even at a stage of individuation when she could be rebelling and looking for more power. The most power she can have is picking an ice cream flavor for dessert.

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