How do you deprogram a 22 year old that has moved away. I am at such a loss! I am angry and worried and this is destroying me. I have a good relationship with my child. I am doing everything I can to keep the communication open. I do that mostly by keeping my mouth shut as there’s never seems to be enough time with him now that he’s move…
How do you deprogram a 22 year old that has moved away. I am at such a loss! I am angry and worried and this is destroying me. I have a good relationship with my child. I am doing everything I can to keep the communication open. I do that mostly by keeping my mouth shut as there’s never seems to be enough time with him now that he’s moved away to have any conversation. Any help would be greatly appreciated from anyone that has older kids. He never displayed anything as child and I know I’m not missing the signs. This is a crazy time in our life and I just wanted to go away. I’m just waiting for the day that he will wake up! And yes, I’m still calling my male born child he. He has given us permission to do that and I’m grateful for this small win.
Same here but with a daughter. We never asked permission and still use her birth name though İ found out she has a boy name she uses socially. Her supportive 21 year old sister got into it with me over Christmas break and İ told her that her dad & i will be the ones at her sisters hospital bed to authorize to "unplug" due to her taking T. She said"so you know better than her endocrinologist?" İ said yes and asked for research. İ was shaking. İ wanted her to tattletale to her sister... Going for shock value... So far that did not do anything :(
All of yall believers or not, I LOVE YOU AND OUR CHILDREN, this is not about My daughter My fight is for all our children. Unfortunatelly no one close will stand with me. But God.
So I stand in the gap and pray for and over All the children in the world! Stay strong, they are going to need us.
Same situation here with our grown son not at home. I'm hurt and devastated by this cult's grip on him. He knows I'm not ok with it but I've agreed no talk or debate on the issue. I send him almost daily texts on light things going on like our weather, the local stores might be changing etc. I listened to many episodes of the podcast "Gender through a wider lens" and it's kind of helping. I keep looking for hope everywhere. Billboard Chris sees the spell is breaking. Elon is helping by buying Twitter and not letting our voices be suppressed. Tavistock, the gender clinic in the UK, has shut down. Finland and Sweden see the error of this. A doctor who has over 1000 trans patients is seeing an uptick in detrans people now. So to you I say keep the lines of communication open and keep it neutral so he has a place to return to if and when his eyes open to this. Maybe some of his friends will leave the cult and he'll feel he should too.
Lynn, something that religious parents often say: "you are responsible for transmission; reception is up to God." I think a similar metaphor might help you with this. You have done your job. You are still doing your job. You will continue to love your son -- that's transmission. But holding yourself responsible for his reception (and his behavior) is a recipe for disaster... for you!
Religious families whose children have walked away have the same shame and anger and fear.
But a 22 year old has to make his own choices, even major ones like turning his back on his sex or on his parents' God. The one consolation is the knowledge that you are not the same person today you were at 22 -- you grew up and matured. For some people though, the only way to learn to make good choices is to make some colossally bad ones first. When he's ready to make better ones, he's fortunate to have a mom ready to help him do so.
How do you deprogram a 22 year old that has moved away. I am at such a loss! I am angry and worried and this is destroying me. I have a good relationship with my child. I am doing everything I can to keep the communication open. I do that mostly by keeping my mouth shut as there’s never seems to be enough time with him now that he’s moved away to have any conversation. Any help would be greatly appreciated from anyone that has older kids. He never displayed anything as child and I know I’m not missing the signs. This is a crazy time in our life and I just wanted to go away. I’m just waiting for the day that he will wake up! And yes, I’m still calling my male born child he. He has given us permission to do that and I’m grateful for this small win.
Same here but with a daughter. We never asked permission and still use her birth name though İ found out she has a boy name she uses socially. Her supportive 21 year old sister got into it with me over Christmas break and İ told her that her dad & i will be the ones at her sisters hospital bed to authorize to "unplug" due to her taking T. She said"so you know better than her endocrinologist?" İ said yes and asked for research. İ was shaking. İ wanted her to tattletale to her sister... Going for shock value... So far that did not do anything :(
I feel your Pain Deeply.
All of yall believers or not, I LOVE YOU AND OUR CHILDREN, this is not about My daughter My fight is for all our children. Unfortunatelly no one close will stand with me. But God.
So I stand in the gap and pray for and over All the children in the world! Stay strong, they are going to need us.
☹️
Same situation here with our grown son not at home. I'm hurt and devastated by this cult's grip on him. He knows I'm not ok with it but I've agreed no talk or debate on the issue. I send him almost daily texts on light things going on like our weather, the local stores might be changing etc. I listened to many episodes of the podcast "Gender through a wider lens" and it's kind of helping. I keep looking for hope everywhere. Billboard Chris sees the spell is breaking. Elon is helping by buying Twitter and not letting our voices be suppressed. Tavistock, the gender clinic in the UK, has shut down. Finland and Sweden see the error of this. A doctor who has over 1000 trans patients is seeing an uptick in detrans people now. So to you I say keep the lines of communication open and keep it neutral so he has a place to return to if and when his eyes open to this. Maybe some of his friends will leave the cult and he'll feel he should too.
Lynn, something that religious parents often say: "you are responsible for transmission; reception is up to God." I think a similar metaphor might help you with this. You have done your job. You are still doing your job. You will continue to love your son -- that's transmission. But holding yourself responsible for his reception (and his behavior) is a recipe for disaster... for you!
Religious families whose children have walked away have the same shame and anger and fear.
But a 22 year old has to make his own choices, even major ones like turning his back on his sex or on his parents' God. The one consolation is the knowledge that you are not the same person today you were at 22 -- you grew up and matured. For some people though, the only way to learn to make good choices is to make some colossally bad ones first. When he's ready to make better ones, he's fortunate to have a mom ready to help him do so.
Thank you. Your words are kind and thoughtful.