My family is going through this now with our daughter, who sounds quite similar to yours - highly gifted, history of depression and anxiety, body dysmorphia - she presents as severely underweight despite a healthy appetite and diet, no signs of bulimia, has had constant attention all her life over how thin she is, usually under the guise…
My family is going through this now with our daughter, who sounds quite similar to yours - highly gifted, history of depression and anxiety, body dysmorphia - she presents as severely underweight despite a healthy appetite and diet, no signs of bulimia, has had constant attention all her life over how thin she is, usually under the guise of praise but resulted in her being hyper conscious of her body - almost definitely on the autism spectrum, then caught up in COVID lockdowns that had her isolated at home for half of her final year of school, falling down LGBT social media rabbit holes. She first 'came out' as bisexual when she was around 15 and had never had a boyfriend or girlfriend. My partner is a teacher and reports this is now very common with girls at that age - in one of his classes, only one of the girls 'identifies' as both straight and female. One girl out of 14. The rest are somewhere along the LGBTIQA conga line, with several using they/them pronouns and preferred names that are not their legal names. The statistics are now so skewed towards girls identifying as male or non-binary that this alone should be ringing alarm bells. LOUDLY.
Back to our daughter - by the end of her final year of school, she said she was non-binary and wanted to be called a different - male, but in another language - name. We went along with it, hoping it was something she would outgrow as she found her place in a wider world outside her internet echo chamber. Unfortunately, this has not been the case - she only has 2 'real life' friends, the rest are a relentless and demanding pro trans chorus she interacts with online. And now, after a single appointment - just the one appointment - with a doctor, she has been prescribed testosterone to start transitioning to male. As she is now over 18, there is nothing we can do to prevent her inflicting this self-harm. When I try to broach the subject, she calls me a TERF, says I'm transphobic and she will cut me out of her life if I raise my concerns again. She still lives at home and is essentially dependent on us - she has a part time job in retail, but I've noticed her shifts being reduced as she ups the ante with her appearance - multiple facial piercings, hyper masculine, metal head clothing, deepening her voice (apparently she is having vocal training, as well as the effects of the testosterone), and her aim is to grow facial hair. So she is making herself unemployable - we live in a pretty conservative regional small city, and her appearance is definitely quite extreme for our area.
I don't care what people think about her appearance, I care that it is putting her at risk of violence. She is a very feminine looking woman, slim, very delicate features, and she will never, ever 'pass' as a man. She will simply look like a woman with a beard. And around here, that will get her bashed and quite possibly raped if she insists on using male toilets and other facilities - which I can see her doing, as she is militant about trans rights. She'll do it to prove a point. I am so scared for her and so angry with this delusion that has been served up to an entire generation of (mainly) young women. She is my only daughter, her siblings are all male, and I am brokenhearted that she has been brainwashed into thinking her womanhood is something best erased, that to be a man is somehow superior. I cannot show my grief, as it is unacceptable anywhere now to question transitioning. How did we get to the stage where parents cannot express concerns about their children without being labelled and abused? And where will this madness end? With a world that is predominantly male and trans male? In whose interest is it to eliminate women from society? And what will the future look like if a significant number of young women have reduced or no fertility as a result of medical mistreatment?
I am so happy that you and your daughter came through this - she is so lucky she had you fighting for her. I can't do the same for my daughter as she is an adult. All I can do is hope she will come to realise herself that her issues had nothing to do with being transgender and stop taking testosterone before she does any permanent damage. I just want my daughter back.
"When the lawsuits start coming this will be exposed as one of the biggest medical scandals in history." I certainly hope so. I have the details of the man (I won't dignify him with the title of Dr, as I believe a doctor must follow the tenet of 'First, do no harm.') who gave my daughter testosterone after a single 15-20 minute appointment. I hope to see him stripped of his credentials and license to practise, then sued into oblivion. Along with every other charlatan that has dragged young people down this path, lining their own pockets along their sorry way. Shame on each and every one of them.
My family is going through this now with our daughter, who sounds quite similar to yours - highly gifted, history of depression and anxiety, body dysmorphia - she presents as severely underweight despite a healthy appetite and diet, no signs of bulimia, has had constant attention all her life over how thin she is, usually under the guise of praise but resulted in her being hyper conscious of her body - almost definitely on the autism spectrum, then caught up in COVID lockdowns that had her isolated at home for half of her final year of school, falling down LGBT social media rabbit holes. She first 'came out' as bisexual when she was around 15 and had never had a boyfriend or girlfriend. My partner is a teacher and reports this is now very common with girls at that age - in one of his classes, only one of the girls 'identifies' as both straight and female. One girl out of 14. The rest are somewhere along the LGBTIQA conga line, with several using they/them pronouns and preferred names that are not their legal names. The statistics are now so skewed towards girls identifying as male or non-binary that this alone should be ringing alarm bells. LOUDLY.
Back to our daughter - by the end of her final year of school, she said she was non-binary and wanted to be called a different - male, but in another language - name. We went along with it, hoping it was something she would outgrow as she found her place in a wider world outside her internet echo chamber. Unfortunately, this has not been the case - she only has 2 'real life' friends, the rest are a relentless and demanding pro trans chorus she interacts with online. And now, after a single appointment - just the one appointment - with a doctor, she has been prescribed testosterone to start transitioning to male. As she is now over 18, there is nothing we can do to prevent her inflicting this self-harm. When I try to broach the subject, she calls me a TERF, says I'm transphobic and she will cut me out of her life if I raise my concerns again. She still lives at home and is essentially dependent on us - she has a part time job in retail, but I've noticed her shifts being reduced as she ups the ante with her appearance - multiple facial piercings, hyper masculine, metal head clothing, deepening her voice (apparently she is having vocal training, as well as the effects of the testosterone), and her aim is to grow facial hair. So she is making herself unemployable - we live in a pretty conservative regional small city, and her appearance is definitely quite extreme for our area.
I don't care what people think about her appearance, I care that it is putting her at risk of violence. She is a very feminine looking woman, slim, very delicate features, and she will never, ever 'pass' as a man. She will simply look like a woman with a beard. And around here, that will get her bashed and quite possibly raped if she insists on using male toilets and other facilities - which I can see her doing, as she is militant about trans rights. She'll do it to prove a point. I am so scared for her and so angry with this delusion that has been served up to an entire generation of (mainly) young women. She is my only daughter, her siblings are all male, and I am brokenhearted that she has been brainwashed into thinking her womanhood is something best erased, that to be a man is somehow superior. I cannot show my grief, as it is unacceptable anywhere now to question transitioning. How did we get to the stage where parents cannot express concerns about their children without being labelled and abused? And where will this madness end? With a world that is predominantly male and trans male? In whose interest is it to eliminate women from society? And what will the future look like if a significant number of young women have reduced or no fertility as a result of medical mistreatment?
I am so happy that you and your daughter came through this - she is so lucky she had you fighting for her. I can't do the same for my daughter as she is an adult. All I can do is hope she will come to realise herself that her issues had nothing to do with being transgender and stop taking testosterone before she does any permanent damage. I just want my daughter back.
"When the lawsuits start coming this will be exposed as one of the biggest medical scandals in history." I certainly hope so. I have the details of the man (I won't dignify him with the title of Dr, as I believe a doctor must follow the tenet of 'First, do no harm.') who gave my daughter testosterone after a single 15-20 minute appointment. I hope to see him stripped of his credentials and license to practise, then sued into oblivion. Along with every other charlatan that has dragged young people down this path, lining their own pockets along their sorry way. Shame on each and every one of them.
"stripped of credentials"...and..."sued into oblivion".
From your lips to God's ears. Let it be so.