Your daughter is finding her footing away from the Trans-cult ideology which is great news. Sounds like you helped her find new paths to travel on, even though I may not agree with all of her new interests. However, I am very glad that your story seems to have a happy ending. Wishing you all the very best. Too many stories have a tragic ending when it comes to this cult.
I just noticed the title of this article. Are we to believe that a troubled trans teenager should be considered a "trad wife" because now she's a nonbinary half-assed Hindu?
Author, your daughter is not more religiously conservative than you are. She's casting about for an identity. Whether trans, nonbinary or Hindu, she's trying to figure out who and what she wants to be. All of those things fill the same need whether gender identity or religion.
"Social" transition normally propels kids towards medical transition whereas left alone, the majority of them will "grow out" of the trans thing at puberty. Statistically you're fortunate that she didn't go in that direction and do irreversible physical damage.
I've not been through this thing (adult kids, whew) so my question is for those of you who have. Who has the better approach in this situation? Mom, three quarters participating or Dad who won't play the game? I can see benefits and detriments on both sides so maybe you just have to try anything that you think might work.
My heart goes out to all parents and kids struggling with this!
The mom middle-named her "Kiran" which is a common name in India so I assume one, if not both, of the parents are of Indian heritage and possibly culturally Hindu. Like being a Jew, one can be Hindu and be atheist/agnostic at the same time, like the mom said she was.
As the trans contagion caught her daughter in its insidious web, this mom was smart in how she reacted and what she would agree to. Too many parents would have crumbled and fallen all over themselves to "affirm" her, maybe even celebrate it. The daughter came out of it, thankfully. But honestly I don't think I would have been as measured in my reaction to this very serious issue. I agree with others who see that these kids are trying hard to fill a spiritual hole, because their parents are raising them with no belief system. Actually, it's more like they're letting them be raised by tiktok. Which is why they're so susceptible.
Thank you for sharing one of the more positive stories I've read here! You and your daughter sound like you have a great relationship that the trans cult has not been able to rend asunder. That may have to do as much with her personality as with your raising - my mother raised me never to tolerate abusive men, and other girls were too, but not all of them listened. I did. Others found out the hard way they should have listened.
The non-binary thing you describe sounds like a perfectly legitimate *phase*, along with her George Harrison phase :) And we all go through our annoying phases when we're trying to find ourselves. I was a perfectly pain in the ass feminist when I was in college. I didn't go much in for fads but I had friends who were into New Wave, punk rock, alternative political philosophies, etc. I hung out with the medieval re-creationist crowd. (Our answer to Ronald Reagan: "BRING BACK THE MONARCHY!") *We outgrow it*, mostly, and if we don't, well maybe something 'took'. The difference between then and now is we weren't rushed into medical 'treatment' to fix something that wasn't broke. If y'all haven't downloaded The WPATH Files yet, I strongly encourage it! Lots of heavy documentation for everything wrong with transgender quackery and a GREAT chapter toward the end about the history of medical/psychiatric quackery to 'cure' people via their genitals and reproductive organs which provides more clarity on how this shit can happen today. Again. Because the $%&*ing doctors never learn. That psychiatric problems happen between the ears, not the legs or hips.
The part about removing ovaries is particularly eye-opening: Women in the 19th century BEGGED doctors to remove their healthy ovaries to cure hysteria or some other goddamn thing (some of their complaints have real diagnoses today, like 'neurasthenia' (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome).
The report is in plain English, well-written, and heavily documented with cites and evidence. Don't be put off by the lengthy size (242 pages), only the first 71 are the report. The rest are screenshots of emails, messages, discussions, etc. making it clear that WPATHologicals know exactly what the fuck they're doing to people and how it's all EXPERIMENTAL (which they don't tell insurance companies so they'll pay for it. Isn't this INSURANCE FRAUD???
Anyway. Rant off-topic. I'm glad your daughter is listening to you, thinking critically, further exploring herself in a healthy manner, and can tone down the chanting if need be :) Tell her that Buddhist monks in prison would recite their own chants silently :) I'm so glad she hasn't gotten sucked too heavily in the cult. If her friends accept her rather than insisting she hew uncritically to the Holy Dogma, maybe they'll come out of this okay too, I hope.
I didn't watch them in their entirety because they're redundant and also she's singing in a language I don't understand. Is she non-binary? She's Will Smith's kid, is she Jada's too? Because TMK both are African-American, maybe one of them is a little Indian? Or was this a daughter from another marriage?
Hee hee , great story and Hallelujah she's turning away from the Trans cult. I too was a seeker growing up. First I was a waver/goth, then head banger, then club kid, then hippie. As a young adult was a waitress in Ybor city Tampa, partied my dancing shoes off. My hair dresser ran the local drag shows. My best friend had a drag queen/gay young man who lived with her for a few months. He was bat crap unstable and a on many drugs. I eventually gave away every thing I owned and went traveling with a drummer guy who traveled around Europe after high-school. I had dreadlocks and didn't shave for 3 years, sang Hare Krishna , lived in a few intentional communities/ hippie communes. I traveled for 3 years Fla to Oregon. I had an amazing journey and search for God. I found my husband in my journey we have been married 25 yrs have a successful art business. When my son at 20 yrs old fell in to trans ideology, he left my home and has practically cut us out of his life, I went through greif and depression. After a year of me trying to fix my self be my own Savior I fell to my knees begging Jesus for help. Jesus showed up and I have been saved and now I'm fire for The Word , The light , The Truth. Thank you Jesus
This woman needs to introduce her daughter to Christianity before the girl moves onto some jihadist Islamist worldview and runs away to a camp to get pregnant by a fighter. Don’t need to see her on CNN weeping and begging US govt to get her pregnant daughter back.
All this grief. The confused child was not just not offered any exposure to religion, she was not offered any life guidance. There was no offer of any moral principles or ideals. So, she had to go and look for psychological, emotional, intellectual, spiritual armour, herself. Thank G-d that she did. She found something to cling onto, in a mad, unethical, insane world, full of perversions and lies and fascism. This whole experience which risked the loss of this child, because the mother had nothing to offer by way of guidance. Bizarrely, even after the near loss of her daughter to the trans cult, the mother appears to have understood nothing....
Agree. This kid was begging for an identity and a "center." She's not a devout Hindu anymore than she was a guy before or a genderless/dual gender "nonbinary" person now. Mom half plays the game and half doesn't which is as wishy washy as her whole religion thing. It appears to me that mom is casting about for an identity as well so this is a very ineffectual combination of people.
One or both of her parents may be from Hindu Indian culture as evidence by the middle name "Kiran". So that their daughter would be attracted to Hinduism is natural. She may evolve into a practicing Hindu. You don't know that she won't.
I think it would be great if she turned out to be a practicing Hindu! If you're right that she and her family are Indian, all the better because then she'll have role models and peers to follow. But this girl is as thoughtful about her new religious practices as she was about her revolving genders. She's not. She's trying on identities. Hopefully she and mom settle on healthy ones but mom's not helping because, although her heart is in the right place, she's trying on identities as well.
How do you know she's not thoughtful? She may not be but nothing written here indicates she isn't. In fact the opposite: "Then she started researching different religions (I’m agnostic so she’s never been exposed to any). She went to the Buddhist monastery with her father several times and came back with a Japa Mala bag. Then she started waking up at 5:30 in the morning, before me, and chanting for an hour while counting Mala beads. Then she started chanting for an hour before bed every night. Then I caught her listening to gurus on YouTube and reading the Bhagavad Gita.
She got some Tilak powder and started putting it on her forehead every single day. She’s gone vegetarian (I’m keto and very skeptical of vegetarianism so I’m making her supplement heavily). Then we started going to a hippie Kirtan group. That’s not good enough for her though so she’s contacted the university Hindu student group to ask them if there are any more serious Krishna worshiping groups in the area."
--- She wanted a "more serious" group than the hippie kirtan group. Sounds thoughtful to me.
I hope this sticks! It would be healthy for her to be a practicing Hindu. The reason she doesn't come across as thoughtful is because she began both her gender and spiritual quests with props. She's following a common pattern. I know an autistic girl who became a cloistered nun and her family wasn't Catholic. Her parents could only talk to her through grates. Kids who are looking for an identity and are socially awkward often gravitate towards religion and other organizations with rituals. That said, I would be delighted to be underestimating her and have her thrive!
Well, chanting on beads isn't really a prop, it's part of a meditation practice. That said, if she gets involved with ISKCON/The Hare Krishnas, they do have a high turnover rate so statistically speaking alone, there's not a high likelihood of it lasting her entire life. If on the other hand she has Indian Hindu family members (which I suspect), a more generalized type of Hinduism might last for her just because it's part of her heritage.
I love this!! Thank you for some hope today.. I use my son's middle name via his preference as well. I did what you did when naming him. I do most of the Buddhist beliefs & mantra practice's mentioned my son being in rebel stage probably won't do for a while. 🤷♀️🕯️❣️🧘🏻♀️☮️
I don’t really get this story. It sounds like your ex was reacting responsibly to your daughter’s trans ideas. Why would that shock you? Most parents would much rather their daughters go down a “trad wife” rabbit hole than mutilate their bodies. I also dislike the use of “trad wife” and it comes across the same way the LGBTQ community uses the term TERF. This whole article sounds like a lot of bragging about how progressive the mom is and how she’s baffled that her teenage daughter is exploring her own identity and probably having a little normal teenage rebellion mixed in.
Is this a parody? If not, this person needs to do A LOT more research. I can recommend a whole lot of resources better than Benjamin Boyce videos.
"To my utter bewilderment, her father, who nursed his older gay brother through dying of AIDS in the early 90’s and has been a pillar of the local gay community as the house DJ at the gay bar, refused to even use her middle name as well as they/them pronouns. I still don’t know why, it’s probably his narcissism more than ideology, but it has added to the feeling that she can’t force people to do what she wants."
The father sounds cool. He gets that gay and trans are not the same. The writer still believes in the fictional 'LGBTQ+ community'.
This is the first PITT story that actually offended me.
Identity is everything. The highest personality is Krishna, God. The example set by the guru helps the student to learn by absorbing their way of life. This is in fact a very natural way to grow. There are some cultural aspects that might not fit in so well with the Christian context of the US, but in general I find Hare Krishna movement very sentient. The issue here might be finding an identity that fits her personal circumstances and plans for the future.
The latter is in many ways an addition to the Hare Krishna in that they have a deep philosophical base and practical outlook that may lack in HK due to HK being of much older origin.
The Bahaí add a layer of universalist to religion that I find appropriate.
Of course buddhism is a strong atheistic position in the world with established culture and discipline, that lead to the mindfulness methods used contemporarily.
All in all you and your daughter seem to have a healthy sense of what is good for you and I am happy to know that there is such mutual respect! Stay strong and curious.
Me too. It appears, (thankfully for all involved,) that this child never became transgendered, only detoured there as yet another of many different self-discovery routes. Hope the screening team of PITT essays is not asleep. I get the point of this article, just confused as to why it was posted on this forum.
Hmm, you seem to have handled it beautifully. An inspiring story. It underscores what a unique and delicate time of life adolescence is. Anything can happen.
Excellent essay! Your daughter sounds like me when I was a teen/young adult dabbling in spiritual beliefs (rather than gender ideology I’m 62 so trans wasn’t a thing just very, very, very fringe.) However my 18 year old daughter is claiming to be “trans” and has started on testosterone and it is very difficult to navigate with all the affirmation amongst her friends, peers, GP, Therapist and now Gender Clinic doctors. So I am deep into the fight to save her body, mind and soul. I wish she was interested in filling a spiritual need rather than ideological one. I love her and support her but I totally oppose her choice to medicalise (her mental issue) and the enablers in the medical profession.
Your daughter is finding her footing away from the Trans-cult ideology which is great news. Sounds like you helped her find new paths to travel on, even though I may not agree with all of her new interests. However, I am very glad that your story seems to have a happy ending. Wishing you all the very best. Too many stories have a tragic ending when it comes to this cult.
Distressing, why would any decent parent diminish her own child by calling her trade wife etc, what a revolting stereotype.
I just noticed the title of this article. Are we to believe that a troubled trans teenager should be considered a "trad wife" because now she's a nonbinary half-assed Hindu?
Author, your daughter is not more religiously conservative than you are. She's casting about for an identity. Whether trans, nonbinary or Hindu, she's trying to figure out who and what she wants to be. All of those things fill the same need whether gender identity or religion.
"Social" transition normally propels kids towards medical transition whereas left alone, the majority of them will "grow out" of the trans thing at puberty. Statistically you're fortunate that she didn't go in that direction and do irreversible physical damage.
I've not been through this thing (adult kids, whew) so my question is for those of you who have. Who has the better approach in this situation? Mom, three quarters participating or Dad who won't play the game? I can see benefits and detriments on both sides so maybe you just have to try anything that you think might work.
My heart goes out to all parents and kids struggling with this!
The mom middle-named her "Kiran" which is a common name in India so I assume one, if not both, of the parents are of Indian heritage and possibly culturally Hindu. Like being a Jew, one can be Hindu and be atheist/agnostic at the same time, like the mom said she was.
Hopefully Hinduism is the thing that sticks.
As the trans contagion caught her daughter in its insidious web, this mom was smart in how she reacted and what she would agree to. Too many parents would have crumbled and fallen all over themselves to "affirm" her, maybe even celebrate it. The daughter came out of it, thankfully. But honestly I don't think I would have been as measured in my reaction to this very serious issue. I agree with others who see that these kids are trying hard to fill a spiritual hole, because their parents are raising them with no belief system. Actually, it's more like they're letting them be raised by tiktok. Which is why they're so susceptible.
Thank you for sharing one of the more positive stories I've read here! You and your daughter sound like you have a great relationship that the trans cult has not been able to rend asunder. That may have to do as much with her personality as with your raising - my mother raised me never to tolerate abusive men, and other girls were too, but not all of them listened. I did. Others found out the hard way they should have listened.
The non-binary thing you describe sounds like a perfectly legitimate *phase*, along with her George Harrison phase :) And we all go through our annoying phases when we're trying to find ourselves. I was a perfectly pain in the ass feminist when I was in college. I didn't go much in for fads but I had friends who were into New Wave, punk rock, alternative political philosophies, etc. I hung out with the medieval re-creationist crowd. (Our answer to Ronald Reagan: "BRING BACK THE MONARCHY!") *We outgrow it*, mostly, and if we don't, well maybe something 'took'. The difference between then and now is we weren't rushed into medical 'treatment' to fix something that wasn't broke. If y'all haven't downloaded The WPATH Files yet, I strongly encourage it! Lots of heavy documentation for everything wrong with transgender quackery and a GREAT chapter toward the end about the history of medical/psychiatric quackery to 'cure' people via their genitals and reproductive organs which provides more clarity on how this shit can happen today. Again. Because the $%&*ing doctors never learn. That psychiatric problems happen between the ears, not the legs or hips.
The part about removing ovaries is particularly eye-opening: Women in the 19th century BEGGED doctors to remove their healthy ovaries to cure hysteria or some other goddamn thing (some of their complaints have real diagnoses today, like 'neurasthenia' (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome).
The report is in plain English, well-written, and heavily documented with cites and evidence. Don't be put off by the lengthy size (242 pages), only the first 71 are the report. The rest are screenshots of emails, messages, discussions, etc. making it clear that WPATHologicals know exactly what the fuck they're doing to people and how it's all EXPERIMENTAL (which they don't tell insurance companies so they'll pay for it. Isn't this INSURANCE FRAUD???
Anyway. Rant off-topic. I'm glad your daughter is listening to you, thinking critically, further exploring herself in a healthy manner, and can tone down the chanting if need be :) Tell her that Buddhist monks in prison would recite their own chants silently :) I'm so glad she hasn't gotten sucked too heavily in the cult. If her friends accept her rather than insisting she hew uncritically to the Holy Dogma, maybe they'll come out of this okay too, I hope.
"The non-binary thing you describe sounds like a perfectly legitimate *phase*, along with her George Harrison phase :) "
It's a Willow Smith phase now. See videos below. But I think one or both of the girl's parents are Indian because of the name "Kiran".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4vB60AIMHs
and
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K59zV1R19EY
I didn't watch them in their entirety because they're redundant and also she's singing in a language I don't understand. Is she non-binary? She's Will Smith's kid, is she Jada's too? Because TMK both are African-American, maybe one of them is a little Indian? Or was this a daughter from another marriage?
Hee hee , great story and Hallelujah she's turning away from the Trans cult. I too was a seeker growing up. First I was a waver/goth, then head banger, then club kid, then hippie. As a young adult was a waitress in Ybor city Tampa, partied my dancing shoes off. My hair dresser ran the local drag shows. My best friend had a drag queen/gay young man who lived with her for a few months. He was bat crap unstable and a on many drugs. I eventually gave away every thing I owned and went traveling with a drummer guy who traveled around Europe after high-school. I had dreadlocks and didn't shave for 3 years, sang Hare Krishna , lived in a few intentional communities/ hippie communes. I traveled for 3 years Fla to Oregon. I had an amazing journey and search for God. I found my husband in my journey we have been married 25 yrs have a successful art business. When my son at 20 yrs old fell in to trans ideology, he left my home and has practically cut us out of his life, I went through greif and depression. After a year of me trying to fix my self be my own Savior I fell to my knees begging Jesus for help. Jesus showed up and I have been saved and now I'm fire for The Word , The light , The Truth. Thank you Jesus
This woman needs to introduce her daughter to Christianity before the girl moves onto some jihadist Islamist worldview and runs away to a camp to get pregnant by a fighter. Don’t need to see her on CNN weeping and begging US govt to get her pregnant daughter back.
All this grief. The confused child was not just not offered any exposure to religion, she was not offered any life guidance. There was no offer of any moral principles or ideals. So, she had to go and look for psychological, emotional, intellectual, spiritual armour, herself. Thank G-d that she did. She found something to cling onto, in a mad, unethical, insane world, full of perversions and lies and fascism. This whole experience which risked the loss of this child, because the mother had nothing to offer by way of guidance. Bizarrely, even after the near loss of her daughter to the trans cult, the mother appears to have understood nothing....
Agree. This kid was begging for an identity and a "center." She's not a devout Hindu anymore than she was a guy before or a genderless/dual gender "nonbinary" person now. Mom half plays the game and half doesn't which is as wishy washy as her whole religion thing. It appears to me that mom is casting about for an identity as well so this is a very ineffectual combination of people.
One or both of her parents may be from Hindu Indian culture as evidence by the middle name "Kiran". So that their daughter would be attracted to Hinduism is natural. She may evolve into a practicing Hindu. You don't know that she won't.
I think it would be great if she turned out to be a practicing Hindu! If you're right that she and her family are Indian, all the better because then she'll have role models and peers to follow. But this girl is as thoughtful about her new religious practices as she was about her revolving genders. She's not. She's trying on identities. Hopefully she and mom settle on healthy ones but mom's not helping because, although her heart is in the right place, she's trying on identities as well.
How do you know she's not thoughtful? She may not be but nothing written here indicates she isn't. In fact the opposite: "Then she started researching different religions (I’m agnostic so she’s never been exposed to any). She went to the Buddhist monastery with her father several times and came back with a Japa Mala bag. Then she started waking up at 5:30 in the morning, before me, and chanting for an hour while counting Mala beads. Then she started chanting for an hour before bed every night. Then I caught her listening to gurus on YouTube and reading the Bhagavad Gita.
She got some Tilak powder and started putting it on her forehead every single day. She’s gone vegetarian (I’m keto and very skeptical of vegetarianism so I’m making her supplement heavily). Then we started going to a hippie Kirtan group. That’s not good enough for her though so she’s contacted the university Hindu student group to ask them if there are any more serious Krishna worshiping groups in the area."
--- She wanted a "more serious" group than the hippie kirtan group. Sounds thoughtful to me.
I hope this sticks! It would be healthy for her to be a practicing Hindu. The reason she doesn't come across as thoughtful is because she began both her gender and spiritual quests with props. She's following a common pattern. I know an autistic girl who became a cloistered nun and her family wasn't Catholic. Her parents could only talk to her through grates. Kids who are looking for an identity and are socially awkward often gravitate towards religion and other organizations with rituals. That said, I would be delighted to be underestimating her and have her thrive!
Well, chanting on beads isn't really a prop, it's part of a meditation practice. That said, if she gets involved with ISKCON/The Hare Krishnas, they do have a high turnover rate so statistically speaking alone, there's not a high likelihood of it lasting her entire life. If on the other hand she has Indian Hindu family members (which I suspect), a more generalized type of Hinduism might last for her just because it's part of her heritage.
I love this!! Thank you for some hope today.. I use my son's middle name via his preference as well. I did what you did when naming him. I do most of the Buddhist beliefs & mantra practice's mentioned my son being in rebel stage probably won't do for a while. 🤷♀️🕯️❣️🧘🏻♀️☮️
I don’t really get this story. It sounds like your ex was reacting responsibly to your daughter’s trans ideas. Why would that shock you? Most parents would much rather their daughters go down a “trad wife” rabbit hole than mutilate their bodies. I also dislike the use of “trad wife” and it comes across the same way the LGBTQ community uses the term TERF. This whole article sounds like a lot of bragging about how progressive the mom is and how she’s baffled that her teenage daughter is exploring her own identity and probably having a little normal teenage rebellion mixed in.
Is this a parody? If not, this person needs to do A LOT more research. I can recommend a whole lot of resources better than Benjamin Boyce videos.
"To my utter bewilderment, her father, who nursed his older gay brother through dying of AIDS in the early 90’s and has been a pillar of the local gay community as the house DJ at the gay bar, refused to even use her middle name as well as they/them pronouns. I still don’t know why, it’s probably his narcissism more than ideology, but it has added to the feeling that she can’t force people to do what she wants."
The father sounds cool. He gets that gay and trans are not the same. The writer still believes in the fictional 'LGBTQ+ community'.
This is the first PITT story that actually offended me.
Offended by what?
Identity is everything. The highest personality is Krishna, God. The example set by the guru helps the student to learn by absorbing their way of life. This is in fact a very natural way to grow. There are some cultural aspects that might not fit in so well with the Christian context of the US, but in general I find Hare Krishna movement very sentient. The issue here might be finding an identity that fits her personal circumstances and plans for the future.
I met two groups that I found interesting. First there were the Bahaí, http://bahai.org and secondly I met Ananda Marga, http://anandamarga.org
The latter is in many ways an addition to the Hare Krishna in that they have a deep philosophical base and practical outlook that may lack in HK due to HK being of much older origin.
The Bahaí add a layer of universalist to religion that I find appropriate.
Of course buddhism is a strong atheistic position in the world with established culture and discipline, that lead to the mindfulness methods used contemporarily.
All in all you and your daughter seem to have a healthy sense of what is good for you and I am happy to know that there is such mutual respect! Stay strong and curious.
I'm sorry, but I can't mince words anymore. This parent with all her Leftist spasms and tics is part of the problem, not the solution.
Trad wife is, surely, an insult and a rancid stereotype. I guess she is trad wife material because...wears long skirt?
I'm glad you said it first. Quite honestly, these two sound utterly exhausting. This is the first "swing and a miss" for me so far from PITT.
Me too. It appears, (thankfully for all involved,) that this child never became transgendered, only detoured there as yet another of many different self-discovery routes. Hope the screening team of PITT essays is not asleep. I get the point of this article, just confused as to why it was posted on this forum.
Yeah, me too!
Hmm, you seem to have handled it beautifully. An inspiring story. It underscores what a unique and delicate time of life adolescence is. Anything can happen.
And how no responsible parent should let kids cut their parts off.
Excellent essay! Your daughter sounds like me when I was a teen/young adult dabbling in spiritual beliefs (rather than gender ideology I’m 62 so trans wasn’t a thing just very, very, very fringe.) However my 18 year old daughter is claiming to be “trans” and has started on testosterone and it is very difficult to navigate with all the affirmation amongst her friends, peers, GP, Therapist and now Gender Clinic doctors. So I am deep into the fight to save her body, mind and soul. I wish she was interested in filling a spiritual need rather than ideological one. I love her and support her but I totally oppose her choice to medicalise (her mental issue) and the enablers in the medical profession.