Upside Down

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” - Fred Rogers

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After tragedy strikes, this quote often circulates on social media.  It is reassuring.  When the world is turned upside down, we can find comfort in the fact that there are always people walking calmly, confidently toward the crisis.  They are trained.  They know what to do.  They have given their lives to bring order from chaos.  They carry the right equipment and have the skills to put out the fire, arrest the bad guys, suture the wounds, heal diseases, put minds at ease and help us process trauma. They use the power voters have given them to make and uphold laws that protect and defend. These are the helpers.  These are the people we respect, we trust, and we go to in our weakness and need. 

What happens when those helpers no longer help?  What happens when they retain power, authority, and trust, but become the ones who inflict tragedy, rather than help us heal from it?  What happens when they lie and demand we lie too?  What happens when a parent has a child in a world where every place they turn for help is staffed by those who unintentionally cause great harm, at best, and intentionally destroy at worst? What does a loving parent do when they have entrusted their most priceless gift to a school, a therapist, a doctor, who actively works for their child’s ruin and has the full backing of their government and society’s popular opinion?  

What happens when the parent becomes the bad guy that is locked up and the true criminals are praised and promoted for their crimes?  

A person could go crazy in a world like that.  A person most certainly feels afraid.

You walk upright, but the world is upside down.  Instead of protecting your children from calamity, you find you must protect them from those commissioned to help.  You are not crazy.  You are not alone in feeling a loss of trust in almost any and every institution.  You are not strange to grieve a loss of community and perceived safety.  You may feel exposed and suspicious every time you walk outside your front door (or open your computer), but you are not alone.  

Philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti says “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”  You are not out of alignment with the truth; a profoundly sick society you are living in is.  In order to restore health, it will take many of us to “live not by lies” as Alexander Solzhenitsyn reminds us.  It is a terrifying thing to hold on to the truth when those around you have their lost grip on it, but it is the most loving and courageous thing you can do.  Because of our deep pain and loss, we are uniquely gifted to be a compassionate tether to reality for those around us.