Our stories are very similar. It began when our son was 15; he is now 36. We tried for many years to maintain contact, closeness, and support. However, as the years have passed, we have come to recognize that this CULT has our son thoroughly indoctrinated; nothing we can say will change his course. After a very intense and determined effort at communication and reconciliation this past summer, he finally cut us off completely, but not before we reiterated our undying love for him.
I know that I have done all that is humanly possible to help him, to reach him. I have now entrusted him to God completely and am choosing not to allow his dysphoria to destroy what is left of my marriage, my family, and my life. God will take care of it. I pray for him daily, intensely and intentionally. But I no longer obsess over him. I know that he is in God's loving care.
It is tragic that the parents and families this CULT has destroyed or damaged do not have the support of ANY part of our culture. Unlike the parents of the Moonie Cult of the 70s, who were applauded and assisted in kidnapping and deprogramming their kids, we are maligned, cancelled, and persecuted. BUT! We know that we are just as right and this CULT is just as evil. Stay the course. Trust God. Things are definitely changing; the world is waking up. It won't be immediate, but we will be vindicated.
May God have mercy on our children. God bless you!
College seems to be the key to indoctrination...(if they haven't already been captured into the cult in late grade school or high school). These institutions are vectors - the "rainbow clubs & "safe space LGBTQlmnop" groups are responsible. The internet doesn't help. It's a shame, we're losing all these people to this cult. The lawsuits should start against these schools.
Welcome. I am sorry that you are going through this. It's probably the hardest thing you will ever go through. Our 21-year-old is holding off because we said we would cut off any college funding if she did any medicalization. Phew!!! We bought ourselves a few years. But we know she will go on HRT as soon as she gets our last payment. Praying for you and everyone else that is struggling through this process.
Yes - cut them off - no cell phone payments, no education, no nothing. They're adults. If they're being provided financially, they have no reason to focus on LIVING & surviving.
I never understood parents who pay for everything & continue to allow them to use their health benefits to access these damaging drugs & surgeries.
💯 agreed. First thing I did was cut off funding for anything. However, as an insurance agency owner, it's frustrating to know we're all still paying for the cult addiction as it's built into health insurance policies as "medically necessary" over 18. Until that is cut off, they still get a lot of the craziness paid for, particularly in some states. My daughter went to Sacramento "the trans Capital" fit this slow suicide of affliction that has severed our family, especially her mother 🥹. All communication and all empathy. She was so loving before.
Welcome, and I am sorry you've had to join our secret society. It sounds all too similar to so many other stories. My child is almost 21 and in her junior year of college, medicalized for a year and half without our knowing and has since stopped because we threatened to stop paying for college. It has been a roller coaster. Once she graduates, we feel that we lose the last of our leverage and that she'll resume being on testosterone. It has been a process to begin to accept that. We will never affirm her as our son. I think that she is of the type that will have to hit her own medical or mental health bottom in order to snap out of this. Nothing we say or do is going to rescue her now. Praying for your family. This cancer doesn't discriminate in who it metastasizes to.
I am so sorry to hear your all-too-familiar story. You've come to the right place. I have 2 sons as well, and have lived in this madness for 11 years. We have an intact family, homeschooled, went to church, had both boys go all the way through scouting to attain their Eagle rank. It did not matter. Our culture is immersed in this ideology. I later learned that many of those scouting friends, big-time gamers and anime fans, also went down the trans rabbit hole. Even my mainline church has entered the political fray, on the wrong side, of course. I wish I had had the resources that are available now. I would check out all the resources on Genspect.org. I would work hard to find that delicate balance between holding onto your relationship with your son and staying true to your values, even if it means not paying for an education you know will make things worse. Just be clear on everything you do. I would also be sure to talk all this over with your younger son and shower him with your attention. This trans ideology steals all the attention in the family.
I’m sorry your family is going through this too. Try to keep a warm connection. Love bomb him. Find other activities to do with your son, games, movies (find some that may get him thinking about cults). Read up on how to get a loved one out of a cult - a good resource is “Coping with cult involvement: A handbook for families and friends” on the ICSA website. There are quite a few parent groups available and for adult boys.
This is a long hard road. Your son needs you to be loving and compassionate and true to your own values -- it sounds like you are all of these things. The pressure to affirm is relentless, but warmth, kindness, and courage (and the work of @stoicmom) have helped me build a path of connection with my 24 yo TID. She still holds to the identity, but less firmly, and she now asks for my input on important decisions. @therapyfirst is a good place for support as well.
Get away from technology, get away from medical people who do not address all of the underlying issues but only gender denying interventions. Are there any communities for gamers which are anti-trans?
As with every other parent I've encountered here, I am so sorry to hear your story. We recently had to let our 23 year old daughter go, as she broke her promise and started on T
before her 25th birthday and/or finishing college. We have been playing the waiting game and hoping and praying that she would find her way out of the madness. Because of this broken promise, we have refused to pay for anything, as that will only enable her to have more money to spend on these 'affirmimg' procedures. I liken it all to a drug addict. We, as their parents, should not enable them in any way to do something that is harmful. We have tried so many things to stop the insanity, but we are up against a world FULL of people who not only affirm, but celebrate the mutilation of our children. I hope that one day all of our children will come home! May God bless you and your family!
You and I are in similar boats. My daughter is still on our payroll for college. She medicalized behind our backs during her sophomore year, and when we found out, we told her we would no longer pay for school unless she stopped. After trying to make a go of it on her own for a few months, she came back and relented, going off T until she finishes school. But at that point, in a year and a half, I think she will cut herself off from us. I've been working on surrendering her to God, as this is a path that she is choosing and that I cannot support. Praying for you, Dawn.
My utmost compassion. I understand the depth of your emotional anguish, as do other PITT parents. I wish I was not in this awful club, but I am grateful to not be alone with the heinous hijacking of a vulnerable young person and of an intact family. My 23 year old son is broken, and as a parent it is difficult at times to not feel broken, too - a terrible feeling exacerbated by feeling others around me are getting away with breaking my son and my heart. There are no adequate words for the outrage and the horror at the lack of outrage.
“are ready to have him out of our home so hopefully we can heal”.
This statement seems to be saying your son’s behaviour is disrupting your day to day life. Could you describe that more specifically. Is he interrupting meals? Is he doing things that prevent your family from going to sleep at night, from going to school or work during the day, from going shopping, from ordinary housekeeping? If your son is disrupting your home in these ways, then you need to get him out of your home. I do not think you should pay for his school.
I am so sorry you have to go through this but glad that you are now connected with PITT. This is a cult and our kids are completely brainwashed by all its BS. I know as PITT parents we are on the right side of history, but I can not get past how tragic it all is. Please take care of yourself and remember that you are not alone.
So very sorry that your family is suffering this, an unfortunately too familiar story. There is no ‘quick fix’, no Emergency Exit from the cult that has bewitched our children. Take care of yourself. Via Genspect you can find online parent led support groups which I have found fantastic.
Just know you are not alone. Learn all you can and join and support organizations that support the truth. I especially like LGB courage coalition- democrats against gender ideology and advocates protecting children against gender ideology. If you have an android phone get the app Our Path. It’s a great way to get support from other parents.
My daughter’s ride into this hell was also during Covid and her 2nd year of college. I am praying for your son, as well as your entire family.
Our stories are very similar. It began when our son was 15; he is now 36. We tried for many years to maintain contact, closeness, and support. However, as the years have passed, we have come to recognize that this CULT has our son thoroughly indoctrinated; nothing we can say will change his course. After a very intense and determined effort at communication and reconciliation this past summer, he finally cut us off completely, but not before we reiterated our undying love for him.
I know that I have done all that is humanly possible to help him, to reach him. I have now entrusted him to God completely and am choosing not to allow his dysphoria to destroy what is left of my marriage, my family, and my life. God will take care of it. I pray for him daily, intensely and intentionally. But I no longer obsess over him. I know that he is in God's loving care.
It is tragic that the parents and families this CULT has destroyed or damaged do not have the support of ANY part of our culture. Unlike the parents of the Moonie Cult of the 70s, who were applauded and assisted in kidnapping and deprogramming their kids, we are maligned, cancelled, and persecuted. BUT! We know that we are just as right and this CULT is just as evil. Stay the course. Trust God. Things are definitely changing; the world is waking up. It won't be immediate, but we will be vindicated.
May God have mercy on our children. God bless you!
College seems to be the key to indoctrination...(if they haven't already been captured into the cult in late grade school or high school). These institutions are vectors - the "rainbow clubs & "safe space LGBTQlmnop" groups are responsible. The internet doesn't help. It's a shame, we're losing all these people to this cult. The lawsuits should start against these schools.
Welcome. I am sorry that you are going through this. It's probably the hardest thing you will ever go through. Our 21-year-old is holding off because we said we would cut off any college funding if she did any medicalization. Phew!!! We bought ourselves a few years. But we know she will go on HRT as soon as she gets our last payment. Praying for you and everyone else that is struggling through this process.
Yes - cut them off - no cell phone payments, no education, no nothing. They're adults. If they're being provided financially, they have no reason to focus on LIVING & surviving.
I never understood parents who pay for everything & continue to allow them to use their health benefits to access these damaging drugs & surgeries.
CUT them off. Reality check!
💯 agreed. First thing I did was cut off funding for anything. However, as an insurance agency owner, it's frustrating to know we're all still paying for the cult addiction as it's built into health insurance policies as "medically necessary" over 18. Until that is cut off, they still get a lot of the craziness paid for, particularly in some states. My daughter went to Sacramento "the trans Capital" fit this slow suicide of affliction that has severed our family, especially her mother 🥹. All communication and all empathy. She was so loving before.
Welcome, and I am sorry you've had to join our secret society. It sounds all too similar to so many other stories. My child is almost 21 and in her junior year of college, medicalized for a year and half without our knowing and has since stopped because we threatened to stop paying for college. It has been a roller coaster. Once she graduates, we feel that we lose the last of our leverage and that she'll resume being on testosterone. It has been a process to begin to accept that. We will never affirm her as our son. I think that she is of the type that will have to hit her own medical or mental health bottom in order to snap out of this. Nothing we say or do is going to rescue her now. Praying for your family. This cancer doesn't discriminate in who it metastasizes to.
I am so sorry to hear your all-too-familiar story. You've come to the right place. I have 2 sons as well, and have lived in this madness for 11 years. We have an intact family, homeschooled, went to church, had both boys go all the way through scouting to attain their Eagle rank. It did not matter. Our culture is immersed in this ideology. I later learned that many of those scouting friends, big-time gamers and anime fans, also went down the trans rabbit hole. Even my mainline church has entered the political fray, on the wrong side, of course. I wish I had had the resources that are available now. I would check out all the resources on Genspect.org. I would work hard to find that delicate balance between holding onto your relationship with your son and staying true to your values, even if it means not paying for an education you know will make things worse. Just be clear on everything you do. I would also be sure to talk all this over with your younger son and shower him with your attention. This trans ideology steals all the attention in the family.
I’m sorry your family is going through this too. Try to keep a warm connection. Love bomb him. Find other activities to do with your son, games, movies (find some that may get him thinking about cults). Read up on how to get a loved one out of a cult - a good resource is “Coping with cult involvement: A handbook for families and friends” on the ICSA website. There are quite a few parent groups available and for adult boys.
I wish our numbers were declining instead of increasing. But we are here to support you.
This is a long hard road. Your son needs you to be loving and compassionate and true to your own values -- it sounds like you are all of these things. The pressure to affirm is relentless, but warmth, kindness, and courage (and the work of @stoicmom) have helped me build a path of connection with my 24 yo TID. She still holds to the identity, but less firmly, and she now asks for my input on important decisions. @therapyfirst is a good place for support as well.
Get away from technology, get away from medical people who do not address all of the underlying issues but only gender denying interventions. Are there any communities for gamers which are anti-trans?
As with every other parent I've encountered here, I am so sorry to hear your story. We recently had to let our 23 year old daughter go, as she broke her promise and started on T
before her 25th birthday and/or finishing college. We have been playing the waiting game and hoping and praying that she would find her way out of the madness. Because of this broken promise, we have refused to pay for anything, as that will only enable her to have more money to spend on these 'affirmimg' procedures. I liken it all to a drug addict. We, as their parents, should not enable them in any way to do something that is harmful. We have tried so many things to stop the insanity, but we are up against a world FULL of people who not only affirm, but celebrate the mutilation of our children. I hope that one day all of our children will come home! May God bless you and your family!
You and I are in similar boats. My daughter is still on our payroll for college. She medicalized behind our backs during her sophomore year, and when we found out, we told her we would no longer pay for school unless she stopped. After trying to make a go of it on her own for a few months, she came back and relented, going off T until she finishes school. But at that point, in a year and a half, I think she will cut herself off from us. I've been working on surrendering her to God, as this is a path that she is choosing and that I cannot support. Praying for you, Dawn.
My utmost compassion. I understand the depth of your emotional anguish, as do other PITT parents. I wish I was not in this awful club, but I am grateful to not be alone with the heinous hijacking of a vulnerable young person and of an intact family. My 23 year old son is broken, and as a parent it is difficult at times to not feel broken, too - a terrible feeling exacerbated by feeling others around me are getting away with breaking my son and my heart. There are no adequate words for the outrage and the horror at the lack of outrage.
“are ready to have him out of our home so hopefully we can heal”.
This statement seems to be saying your son’s behaviour is disrupting your day to day life. Could you describe that more specifically. Is he interrupting meals? Is he doing things that prevent your family from going to sleep at night, from going to school or work during the day, from going shopping, from ordinary housekeeping? If your son is disrupting your home in these ways, then you need to get him out of your home. I do not think you should pay for his school.
I am so sorry you have to go through this but glad that you are now connected with PITT. This is a cult and our kids are completely brainwashed by all its BS. I know as PITT parents we are on the right side of history, but I can not get past how tragic it all is. Please take care of yourself and remember that you are not alone.
So very sorry that your family is suffering this, an unfortunately too familiar story. There is no ‘quick fix’, no Emergency Exit from the cult that has bewitched our children. Take care of yourself. Via Genspect you can find online parent led support groups which I have found fantastic.
Just know you are not alone. Learn all you can and join and support organizations that support the truth. I especially like LGB courage coalition- democrats against gender ideology and advocates protecting children against gender ideology. If you have an android phone get the app Our Path. It’s a great way to get support from other parents.