I needed this. It is exactly what I've felt but couldn't describe. I wish I could've found answers sooner because now my child is gone and labeled me an abuser, bigot, Nazi & conspiracy theorist in a gofund.me to get away from me. I'm beside myself and have just wanted to close my eyes and not wake up. I feel numb, destroyed and grieving so much..I miss my child. I've had to deal with detectives that don't care.. i feel this is all my fault and should've done more. It's just overwhelming I'm trying not to die of a broken heart. It's comforting though to read posts from other parents, but my god what a nightmare 😢
Spiritual warfare indeed. And the King of all kings and Lord of all lords, the Mighty One, Jehovah God is still in control. Darkness has not and will not overcome His light. Jesus is coming again soon and we must cry out to Him for His mercy, faithfulness and strength to persevere in this battle.
We have started a prayer group at our church that meets regularly to pray and encourage each other. In so many places in the Bible, He charges us to patiently persevere, to stand firm on what we know is true. We must stay in the Word and remind ourselves of the truth or we too may drift away. The Word from God is living and powerful. He hears our prayers and will deliver us.
The weight, reality, and accuracy of this parent perspective resonates so deep. Wow. This has been my life for the past 4 years. Someone just articulated the bizarre chaos that has become the delusional normal of my family dynamic and the life shattering grief of the journey.
Thank you for writing this. You’ve put into words what I’ve been feeling these last two years. I worked at a pediatric hospital, and when the gender surgeries started ramping up during Covid, I was horrified. I was very outspoken -both at work, and in the home, and I’m still wondering if I inadvertently pushed my daughter closer to the cult-she was always very oppositional-defiant. I left pediatrics, and then watched in horror as she became unrecognizable to me. Her father encouraged her to go to college in Seattle, and that was the death knell of our relationship. We are now estranged, she legally changed her name to a male name, and I have no idea if she will be persuaded to have surgery. The hardest thing was losing my own mom during this time, and she did not come to the funeral. The pain of going through something like this is unlike any other pain Ive ever experienced, and no one seems to understand. It can’t be described.
If you’ve not seen it or read it, highly recommend Stephen King’s “Storm of the Century”. This tale and ‘Give me what I want and I’ll go away’ remains, for me, one of the sickest expressions of what’s lost in capitulation to Pied Pipers in whatever guise they show up in—which they do, over and over and over again.
So well said that it left me in tears. I feel your pain. It’s like we’re in a sinking ship. Thank you for sharing. It explains exactly what parents go thru. Sadly, the rest of the world doesn’t care. It is definitely a spiritual battle. May God have mercy on
"Your nervous system is screaming. Your instincts are screaming." My non-captured loved ones are convinced that the devastating blows of this experience are a big part of why I developed throat cancer (now thankfully in remission). I have told my (non-affirming, understanding) therapist that on a spiritual and intuitive level, the fact that it was throat cancer makes a lot of sense to me. Why WOULDN'T my body develop illness in my throat, the site of endless suppressed screams of anger and anguish during this experience? The pain continues as my daughter medicalizes further and our once-strong bond holds on by the thinnest thread--almost completely from effort on my end, because she has severely limited my access to her AND the testosterone has shut down her once-vibrant emotional world.
In addition to everything else I fear and dread, the fact that this experience has eroded my will to care for myself makes me worry the disease will return, or a new one will appear. Sometimes I don't care and just wish to be taken out so I don't have to feel the pain anymore. I'm like a ghost in my own life. I wish no other person could relate to what I am talking about, but I know there are way too many of us. Thank you for articulating this hell, and thanks even more for the encouraging words and the exhortation to care for ourselves. It sure beats the "You deserve for your kid to cut you off!" or "It will be your fault if they kill themselves!" that is the standard trans-activist response to our pain and grief. It feels like a ray of hope for our experience to be articulated and met with empathy. I'm very grateful for it.
I have often thought that this was some kind of a spiritual possession. It has to be, so many kids and young adults changing into someone else. Someone without sympathy, without understanding, and without self awareness. There is only one way to fight spiritual possession, and that is achieved by turning to Jesus. He is the way, the truth, and the life. Whatever has these kids hates truth and it destroys life. Keep praying and speaking truth over your children and rebuke anything in the name of Jesus that is trying to remove your authority over them.
Spot on. We ARE in a spiritual war, both in the unseen realm and RIGHT in front of our eyes. Only through Jesus will WE be strengthened for the battles for our children’s souls. Keep your knee pads handy at all times!
Imagine I am standing in applause at this beautiful piece. I felt every word with an exclamation point to my heart and soul. I know I’m not the only one either.
Love the last sentence and yes they need to find somebody when they get back, so perfectly said. But still with my experience of knowing and treating fours GD kids I can say that they still will leave not matter how kind and understanding you are. I changed my thinking since ten years ago when the first girlfriend of my older son transitioned in College after breaking the relationship not during but still it was a shock, I knew her well or I believed, the parents divorced and she is still a he and she came back to my house once, before the pandemic, to try to convinced me why she did it, and we were sitting at my living room and she was talking to me and how I had to understand and how my support will be much appreciated. And I was looking at her, at was used to be a pretty Irish girl with beautiful blue eyes and joyful demeanor that was replaced by something with very short hair, a raspy voice, very slim now, hunting eyes. In my mind I tried to figure it out what to say (it was my first encounter, my first experience, then sadly I had others). My last words to her after she embraced me and said bye at the door were_you need help Lainy, you are not well. She looked at me and told me _you don't understand what i was inside, I feel free now, I was a man inside all along_
I was speechless because of the non-sense but I didn't say nothing and looked at her go down the stairs of my frontyard trying to walk manly and a deep sadness took over me.
But now I would react totally different, because they are already convinced, no affirmation or kindness or understanding will help at all, of course we are talking young adults or late teens because with children you can stop the non-sense very fast and straight away. You isolate them from media and stop sending them to school or move away, but with teens 16 and up and young adults is harder while with children you know %100 that is a source from outside that it is reaching to them and filling their undeveloped brains with evil, when that source is eliminated they will forget and follow another butterfly, that is the nature of childhood. Now this is a lie that needs 24/7 reenforcement no doubts about it, constant support and encouragement because goes so against the instincts of any human being and that is why I think the more vulnerables are not the children but the age between 14 to 21 or beyond, but that particularly age gap is the one that needs all this vigilance and supporting outsiders, some of them crazy and some are evil, in general there is an evil man behind this cult and many of this enforcers are part of organizations, some private like Soros, some state funding(meaning we pay for it). I digressed, now I would have make sure that Lainy listened to me all the things I have to say about transgenderism, today I would not let her go until she knows everything I know now and tell her that she is living a lie, as the lie that if you don't support them they will kill themselves, many killed themselves nonetheless but for so many reason that have nothing to do with you or the truth. We need to have the resources at hand and offer them as soon we have an encounter of this kind, we need more doctors and therapies in each state that work with the truth and aren't monsters, We need brave professionals, and brave parents and support groups like this but in presence that print pamphlets and counter the lies, organize meetings and marchs, etc
Parents we are at war so get prepared and never give up, become an advocate and if in your family or groups of friends tell you are a bigot "double down" you don't have nothing to lose because they put you there in that position, and everything to win, at least you will not lose your mind, and who knows when your child regrets and decide to come back you will be there as strong as ever waiting for him or her, if not your child you can help others, they need parents like that, parents that not lie but walk in the truth because when we love we don't lie.
Jason, this is an amazing piece of writing that puts into words exactly how my life feels. Five years in- one desisted adult child and another adult “non-binary” child who talks about having surgery.
If you could paint the colours surrounding our lives and household, the shadows and darkness would be ever present, even as I sit outside in a beautiful sunny backyard garden.
It’s like you’re reading my mind
I needed this. It is exactly what I've felt but couldn't describe. I wish I could've found answers sooner because now my child is gone and labeled me an abuser, bigot, Nazi & conspiracy theorist in a gofund.me to get away from me. I'm beside myself and have just wanted to close my eyes and not wake up. I feel numb, destroyed and grieving so much..I miss my child. I've had to deal with detectives that don't care.. i feel this is all my fault and should've done more. It's just overwhelming I'm trying not to die of a broken heart. It's comforting though to read posts from other parents, but my god what a nightmare 😢
Oh my goodness your pain is palpable. You are not alone. Every person on here feels your pain.
Spiritual warfare indeed. And the King of all kings and Lord of all lords, the Mighty One, Jehovah God is still in control. Darkness has not and will not overcome His light. Jesus is coming again soon and we must cry out to Him for His mercy, faithfulness and strength to persevere in this battle.
We have started a prayer group at our church that meets regularly to pray and encourage each other. In so many places in the Bible, He charges us to patiently persevere, to stand firm on what we know is true. We must stay in the Word and remind ourselves of the truth or we too may drift away. The Word from God is living and powerful. He hears our prayers and will deliver us.
The weight, reality, and accuracy of this parent perspective resonates so deep. Wow. This has been my life for the past 4 years. Someone just articulated the bizarre chaos that has become the delusional normal of my family dynamic and the life shattering grief of the journey.
Beautiful
Felt this deeply. I wish I had this 10 years ago when it all hit with no one to share the grief with.
Thank you for writing this. You’ve put into words what I’ve been feeling these last two years. I worked at a pediatric hospital, and when the gender surgeries started ramping up during Covid, I was horrified. I was very outspoken -both at work, and in the home, and I’m still wondering if I inadvertently pushed my daughter closer to the cult-she was always very oppositional-defiant. I left pediatrics, and then watched in horror as she became unrecognizable to me. Her father encouraged her to go to college in Seattle, and that was the death knell of our relationship. We are now estranged, she legally changed her name to a male name, and I have no idea if she will be persuaded to have surgery. The hardest thing was losing my own mom during this time, and she did not come to the funeral. The pain of going through something like this is unlike any other pain Ive ever experienced, and no one seems to understand. It can’t be described.
Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone.
If you’ve not seen it or read it, highly recommend Stephen King’s “Storm of the Century”. This tale and ‘Give me what I want and I’ll go away’ remains, for me, one of the sickest expressions of what’s lost in capitulation to Pied Pipers in whatever guise they show up in—which they do, over and over and over again.
I watched it. It was a disturbing allegory to our current situation.
So well said that it left me in tears. I feel your pain. It’s like we’re in a sinking ship. Thank you for sharing. It explains exactly what parents go thru. Sadly, the rest of the world doesn’t care. It is definitely a spiritual battle. May God have mercy on
"Your nervous system is screaming. Your instincts are screaming." My non-captured loved ones are convinced that the devastating blows of this experience are a big part of why I developed throat cancer (now thankfully in remission). I have told my (non-affirming, understanding) therapist that on a spiritual and intuitive level, the fact that it was throat cancer makes a lot of sense to me. Why WOULDN'T my body develop illness in my throat, the site of endless suppressed screams of anger and anguish during this experience? The pain continues as my daughter medicalizes further and our once-strong bond holds on by the thinnest thread--almost completely from effort on my end, because she has severely limited my access to her AND the testosterone has shut down her once-vibrant emotional world.
In addition to everything else I fear and dread, the fact that this experience has eroded my will to care for myself makes me worry the disease will return, or a new one will appear. Sometimes I don't care and just wish to be taken out so I don't have to feel the pain anymore. I'm like a ghost in my own life. I wish no other person could relate to what I am talking about, but I know there are way too many of us. Thank you for articulating this hell, and thanks even more for the encouraging words and the exhortation to care for ourselves. It sure beats the "You deserve for your kid to cut you off!" or "It will be your fault if they kill themselves!" that is the standard trans-activist response to our pain and grief. It feels like a ray of hope for our experience to be articulated and met with empathy. I'm very grateful for it.
Thank you. This is good advice, and good ideas for understanding what has happened.
I have often thought that this was some kind of a spiritual possession. It has to be, so many kids and young adults changing into someone else. Someone without sympathy, without understanding, and without self awareness. There is only one way to fight spiritual possession, and that is achieved by turning to Jesus. He is the way, the truth, and the life. Whatever has these kids hates truth and it destroys life. Keep praying and speaking truth over your children and rebuke anything in the name of Jesus that is trying to remove your authority over them.
Spot on. We ARE in a spiritual war, both in the unseen realm and RIGHT in front of our eyes. Only through Jesus will WE be strengthened for the battles for our children’s souls. Keep your knee pads handy at all times!
Imagine I am standing in applause at this beautiful piece. I felt every word with an exclamation point to my heart and soul. I know I’m not the only one either.
Thank you for sharing this with all of us.
Thank you♥️
Love the last sentence and yes they need to find somebody when they get back, so perfectly said. But still with my experience of knowing and treating fours GD kids I can say that they still will leave not matter how kind and understanding you are. I changed my thinking since ten years ago when the first girlfriend of my older son transitioned in College after breaking the relationship not during but still it was a shock, I knew her well or I believed, the parents divorced and she is still a he and she came back to my house once, before the pandemic, to try to convinced me why she did it, and we were sitting at my living room and she was talking to me and how I had to understand and how my support will be much appreciated. And I was looking at her, at was used to be a pretty Irish girl with beautiful blue eyes and joyful demeanor that was replaced by something with very short hair, a raspy voice, very slim now, hunting eyes. In my mind I tried to figure it out what to say (it was my first encounter, my first experience, then sadly I had others). My last words to her after she embraced me and said bye at the door were_you need help Lainy, you are not well. She looked at me and told me _you don't understand what i was inside, I feel free now, I was a man inside all along_
I was speechless because of the non-sense but I didn't say nothing and looked at her go down the stairs of my frontyard trying to walk manly and a deep sadness took over me.
But now I would react totally different, because they are already convinced, no affirmation or kindness or understanding will help at all, of course we are talking young adults or late teens because with children you can stop the non-sense very fast and straight away. You isolate them from media and stop sending them to school or move away, but with teens 16 and up and young adults is harder while with children you know %100 that is a source from outside that it is reaching to them and filling their undeveloped brains with evil, when that source is eliminated they will forget and follow another butterfly, that is the nature of childhood. Now this is a lie that needs 24/7 reenforcement no doubts about it, constant support and encouragement because goes so against the instincts of any human being and that is why I think the more vulnerables are not the children but the age between 14 to 21 or beyond, but that particularly age gap is the one that needs all this vigilance and supporting outsiders, some of them crazy and some are evil, in general there is an evil man behind this cult and many of this enforcers are part of organizations, some private like Soros, some state funding(meaning we pay for it). I digressed, now I would have make sure that Lainy listened to me all the things I have to say about transgenderism, today I would not let her go until she knows everything I know now and tell her that she is living a lie, as the lie that if you don't support them they will kill themselves, many killed themselves nonetheless but for so many reason that have nothing to do with you or the truth. We need to have the resources at hand and offer them as soon we have an encounter of this kind, we need more doctors and therapies in each state that work with the truth and aren't monsters, We need brave professionals, and brave parents and support groups like this but in presence that print pamphlets and counter the lies, organize meetings and marchs, etc
Parents we are at war so get prepared and never give up, become an advocate and if in your family or groups of friends tell you are a bigot "double down" you don't have nothing to lose because they put you there in that position, and everything to win, at least you will not lose your mind, and who knows when your child regrets and decide to come back you will be there as strong as ever waiting for him or her, if not your child you can help others, they need parents like that, parents that not lie but walk in the truth because when we love we don't lie.
Jason, this is an amazing piece of writing that puts into words exactly how my life feels. Five years in- one desisted adult child and another adult “non-binary” child who talks about having surgery.
If you could paint the colours surrounding our lives and household, the shadows and darkness would be ever present, even as I sit outside in a beautiful sunny backyard garden.