Wow. Mighty bag of knots. Sounds to me like he has some unresolved emotional baggage and/or some mental issues that may have been dormant earlier in life and the trans wrong body illusion is an easy way out/ quick fix for his life discomfort.
From what I read, I don't recognize in him someone who is truly suffering from gender dysphoria.
I wish the wife would speak up. I get she doesn't want to be a trans widow. Though she's already just that whether she goes or stay. If she leaves, it can be the wake up call he needs or bring him deeper to the trans pit. I'll keep him/her and you with your whole family in my prayers. God is the only one who can heal him. But He can use people around him to help.
Your words inspire me even as a mom. My husband probably feels the same way you do but he’s quieter than I am. I am more expressive as we navigate this heartbreaking situation with our daughter. We will not give up either.
Beautifully written. I can feel the ache of your pain. Keep writing, you are gifted. And keep fighting for your son. May God make everything whole again.
This hurt to read and I’m so sorry- I felt your words. I’m struggling with my 23 year old daughter who has a beard and I felt your pain. Sometimes there are no words but you were eloquently to put your pain on paper. We will have a happy day when our prodigals return 🙏
You are why we desperately need fathers to speak. This is real. Happening to real live sons, daughters, & fathers. Wherever you are in the world, have you thought of spearheading a Fathers Illumination Leadership Coalition? As a therapist wanting to work with families to strengthen bonding (as a prevention to capture in the first place), I pay close attention to fathers’ writings. You also are a skilled writer. So many strengths; please use them in any way you are able. to protect the children.
This: "It is a grief with no funeral, no ritual, no recognition. There is no public mourning for the loss of a father’s voice. There is no moment of silence for the erasure of his place in his child’s world. There is only the quiet, endless ache of knowing that something sacred is being undone, and no one is coming to stop it."
Outsiders just don't understand. How in the world did it turn out like this? It is incomprehensible to parents.
"There is only the quiet, endless ache of knowing that something sacred is being undone, and no one is coming to stop it." The individuals behind this only recognize the Sacred as something to be undone, to be attacked. There can be no doubt their intent is to destroy the sacred relationship between parent and child.
So perfectly said. I pray for more fathers to stand in unity with you. I'm really sorry for the torture the gender cult is putting you and your son through
This article is spot on how us parents feel and it’s ripping our family apart. I’ve given my son to Jesus and will send a text every now or then but otherwise I pray.
We haven’t had contact since November 2024. My oldest son reached out this past weekend to my son wanting to introduce his new girlfriend and this was my son’s response:
I've been thinking about it and I realized I am still carrying hurt from things that have happened between us the past couple of years. I don't always feel fully respected for who I am and because of that l'm not sure where we stand. We would love to meet her if things were different between us. Right now, I'm focusing on relationships where I feel safe and supported, so I don't think I'm ready to meet right now. I hope you can understand.
Safe and supported oh those words of the people who continue to cheer him on.
How I wish he knew who really loves him and doesn’t tell lies. How perfect he is in our eyes and hearts. How none of us ever thought he had to change. He is so confused it breaks my heart, but Jesus loves him more than me and he will do what he thinks is right. I just have to trust.
But a time will come when the people who make him "feel safe and supported" will let him down one way or another. Living a lie is like walking on very thin ice. It collapses eventually.
If your other son is gonna respond, let it be in the lines of: we understand, want you to know that our love for you is very real, deep and lasting (3 sorely missing elements in the trans life) and we are safe for you whenever you're ready. In the meantime, focus on your other unbrainwashed son ( and on you, precious lady).
Also something just came to mind. Were your sons pretty close before? Something about his answer sounds off. I'm wondering if he doesn't want to meet the GF because it's too close from reality ( you know real life, where people fall in love, are ok with who they are and are nicely moving forward with their life); and it makes him feel uncomfortable because it reminds him that he's living outside of that realm. In which case would be a good sign. Either way, it's in God's hands. Keep it there. And remember that 1) the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous ( because of what Jesus has done on the cross), and His ears are open to their cry Psalm 34:15 2) and the prayer of a righteous man (or woman) is powerful and effective James 5:16
When I read it, I thought my son misses my oldest and maybe being in the family. But chalked it up to me wishful thinking.
Yes the boys are 14 months apart so were very close. That’s the part that hurts my oldest, he misses his brother and finally wants to share some good news and my youngest writes that to him. Plus my estranged son is married and rumor is that she is planning to leave but she hasn’t found her voice to do it.
They will be married 6 years in Aug and this started right after they got married. He didn’t start the hormones until 3 years later and she at first didn’t believe him cuz she’s very immature and she told him to go ahead thinking it would fix him, and then totally supported it but in the past 6 months is telling her sister she wants to leave. She doesn’t speak up and avoids any confrontation. I thought maybe if she would leave he would stop the hormones, but I’m not sure now.
Beautifully said, even in its sadness and horror. I felt the pain of your soul through this. I’m so sorry for your ongoing agony, and I’m thankful for your resolve.
We too saw “words not his own” begin to shape our son “like a script he must follow.”
Wow! This is a masterpiece! Thank you for being a voice for men who not only struggle to find the words but have been silenced due to the “toxic war on masculinity” as Nancy Pearcey describes so well in her book by this name. Thanks for sharing what a good man and father sounds like.
That is a perfect way of describing how our children are being exploited by activists. While anyone with the power to do anything about it stands by and applauds it.
And we the parents who are powerless are forced to watch. It’s absolute torture.
Very powerfully written. Thank you for sharing your grief and pain and fear with us. I am once again in awe of what is happening all around us. I am so sad for you and your relationship with your son that is slowly being poisoned. I pray that he will somehow wake up and return to you, unharmed. We must promise each other that we will not give up this fight! I promise all of you that I will continue praying for you, supporting you, reading your stories, and speaking the truth about this evil cult. There is power in numbers, and we must continue using our voices even if through writing our stories here on this sub stack. Never give up, never lose hope, never stop fighting.
The inward and silenced screams is absolute torture. Being rendered helpless in this storm has been soul destroying.
Wow. Mighty bag of knots. Sounds to me like he has some unresolved emotional baggage and/or some mental issues that may have been dormant earlier in life and the trans wrong body illusion is an easy way out/ quick fix for his life discomfort.
From what I read, I don't recognize in him someone who is truly suffering from gender dysphoria.
I wish the wife would speak up. I get she doesn't want to be a trans widow. Though she's already just that whether she goes or stay. If she leaves, it can be the wake up call he needs or bring him deeper to the trans pit. I'll keep him/her and you with your whole family in my prayers. God is the only one who can heal him. But He can use people around him to help.
Very well written; thank you!
Your words inspire me even as a mom. My husband probably feels the same way you do but he’s quieter than I am. I am more expressive as we navigate this heartbreaking situation with our daughter. We will not give up either.
May God bless us all🙏
Men normally don’t have the words yet. We do feel deeply though. Share it with your husband. I wrote it for dads so they have words. 🫂
Beautifully written. I can feel the ache of your pain. Keep writing, you are gifted. And keep fighting for your son. May God make everything whole again.
This hurt to read and I’m so sorry- I felt your words. I’m struggling with my 23 year old daughter who has a beard and I felt your pain. Sometimes there are no words but you were eloquently to put your pain on paper. We will have a happy day when our prodigals return 🙏
“I am losing my son…to a movement that claims to offer clarity but only sows confusion”…
First, I am so sorry for this delusion that has captured your son😢and caused you such pain.
Secondly, you nailed it in this essay. Continue to expose the lies.
Beautiful written words with so much love and pain.
I also made this promise to my children. And I will never give up no matter how much the culture tells them to push me away. This is a hill to die on.
You are why we desperately need fathers to speak. This is real. Happening to real live sons, daughters, & fathers. Wherever you are in the world, have you thought of spearheading a Fathers Illumination Leadership Coalition? As a therapist wanting to work with families to strengthen bonding (as a prevention to capture in the first place), I pay close attention to fathers’ writings. You also are a skilled writer. So many strengths; please use them in any way you are able. to protect the children.
This: "It is a grief with no funeral, no ritual, no recognition. There is no public mourning for the loss of a father’s voice. There is no moment of silence for the erasure of his place in his child’s world. There is only the quiet, endless ache of knowing that something sacred is being undone, and no one is coming to stop it."
Outsiders just don't understand. How in the world did it turn out like this? It is incomprehensible to parents.
"There is only the quiet, endless ache of knowing that something sacred is being undone, and no one is coming to stop it." The individuals behind this only recognize the Sacred as something to be undone, to be attacked. There can be no doubt their intent is to destroy the sacred relationship between parent and child.
So perfectly said. I pray for more fathers to stand in unity with you. I'm really sorry for the torture the gender cult is putting you and your son through
This article is spot on how us parents feel and it’s ripping our family apart. I’ve given my son to Jesus and will send a text every now or then but otherwise I pray.
We haven’t had contact since November 2024. My oldest son reached out this past weekend to my son wanting to introduce his new girlfriend and this was my son’s response:
I've been thinking about it and I realized I am still carrying hurt from things that have happened between us the past couple of years. I don't always feel fully respected for who I am and because of that l'm not sure where we stand. We would love to meet her if things were different between us. Right now, I'm focusing on relationships where I feel safe and supported, so I don't think I'm ready to meet right now. I hope you can understand.
Safe and supported oh those words of the people who continue to cheer him on.
How I wish he knew who really loves him and doesn’t tell lies. How perfect he is in our eyes and hearts. How none of us ever thought he had to change. He is so confused it breaks my heart, but Jesus loves him more than me and he will do what he thinks is right. I just have to trust.
At this time, he's fully blinded.
But a time will come when the people who make him "feel safe and supported" will let him down one way or another. Living a lie is like walking on very thin ice. It collapses eventually.
If your other son is gonna respond, let it be in the lines of: we understand, want you to know that our love for you is very real, deep and lasting (3 sorely missing elements in the trans life) and we are safe for you whenever you're ready. In the meantime, focus on your other unbrainwashed son ( and on you, precious lady).
Best wishes ❤️
Thank you. I needed a response like this and knew you’d be the one to give me truth. 😭😭😭❤️❤️ God bless you Helene.
Thanks. I need God's blessing
Also something just came to mind. Were your sons pretty close before? Something about his answer sounds off. I'm wondering if he doesn't want to meet the GF because it's too close from reality ( you know real life, where people fall in love, are ok with who they are and are nicely moving forward with their life); and it makes him feel uncomfortable because it reminds him that he's living outside of that realm. In which case would be a good sign. Either way, it's in God's hands. Keep it there. And remember that 1) the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous ( because of what Jesus has done on the cross), and His ears are open to their cry Psalm 34:15 2) and the prayer of a righteous man (or woman) is powerful and effective James 5:16
When I read it, I thought my son misses my oldest and maybe being in the family. But chalked it up to me wishful thinking.
Yes the boys are 14 months apart so were very close. That’s the part that hurts my oldest, he misses his brother and finally wants to share some good news and my youngest writes that to him. Plus my estranged son is married and rumor is that she is planning to leave but she hasn’t found her voice to do it.
You mean your trans confused son is married to a woman who is thinking of leaving? How long has the trans craziness been in his life?
The estrangement seems pretty recent
They will be married 6 years in Aug and this started right after they got married. He didn’t start the hormones until 3 years later and she at first didn’t believe him cuz she’s very immature and she told him to go ahead thinking it would fix him, and then totally supported it but in the past 6 months is telling her sister she wants to leave. She doesn’t speak up and avoids any confrontation. I thought maybe if she would leave he would stop the hormones, but I’m not sure now.
I meant to reply to you but somehow it ended up with an older comment. My prayers and very best wishes are with you
I can't stop crying. Thank you so much for putting into perfect words exactly what all of us parents are feeling. ❤️
Beautifully said, even in its sadness and horror. I felt the pain of your soul through this. I’m so sorry for your ongoing agony, and I’m thankful for your resolve.
We too saw “words not his own” begin to shape our son “like a script he must follow.”
Wow! This is a masterpiece! Thank you for being a voice for men who not only struggle to find the words but have been silenced due to the “toxic war on masculinity” as Nancy Pearcey describes so well in her book by this name. Thanks for sharing what a good man and father sounds like.
it seems that social media are hazardous in more than a few ways. it could be trans... or drugs... or suicide...
https://www.democracynow.org/2025/4/4/can_t_look_away_social_media
legal center: https://socialmediavictims.org/
“Innocence repurposed into a banner.”
That is a perfect way of describing how our children are being exploited by activists. While anyone with the power to do anything about it stands by and applauds it.
And we the parents who are powerless are forced to watch. It’s absolute torture.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Very powerfully written. Thank you for sharing your grief and pain and fear with us. I am once again in awe of what is happening all around us. I am so sad for you and your relationship with your son that is slowly being poisoned. I pray that he will somehow wake up and return to you, unharmed. We must promise each other that we will not give up this fight! I promise all of you that I will continue praying for you, supporting you, reading your stories, and speaking the truth about this evil cult. There is power in numbers, and we must continue using our voices even if through writing our stories here on this sub stack. Never give up, never lose hope, never stop fighting.