13 Year Old Girl Is Uncomfortable and Determines That Means She’s Trans
This is a transcript of a Partners for Ethical Care (PEC) parent story. The original version can be found here, and the podcast version can be found here, as part of PEC’s podcast series, “The Witness: True Stories of Children and Gender Identity.
My 13 yr old daughter decided last year that she was trans after her friend at school did. She had a horrible bout with anxiety and depression before that. She also had a bad breakup with her first boyfriend with whom she had her first kiss. Then she says she’s bisexual, then I see that she “came out” at school with a new name and pronouns. I only knew because I was spying after a suicide scare months earlier.
It’s been a year and a half after she came out, and we’ve successfully treated her anxiety and depression without medication. Amino acid therapy works wonders! Despite feeling better emotionally and separating herself from most of the LGBTQ friends, she’s still determined to get hormones and surgery at age 18. Her dad and I do not use her chosen name or pronouns and that bothers her but I’ve explained why we don’t—that she’s on an unsafe path, that feeling uncomfortable in your body doesn’t automatically mean you’re trans.
There’s lots of love in the relationship. Tons of hugs, I-love-you’s and laughs, but there’s the elephant in the room and I worry every day. I see what could happen if she doesn’t change her mind so I’m doing lots of activism online and in my community.
In a similar boat. I hope that the love and time are on our sides.
It is a relief to see this post from PITT, after reading the appeasement post from yesterday, seemingly criticizing Abigail Shrier, Lisa Littman and Kara Dansky for appearing on Tucker Carlson and Megan Kelly, both known as right of center journalists. An MSNBC anchor insisted strongly a few months ago that puberty blockers are reversible. This is untrue. I emailed him with references, no response. The "main stream" media is failing, as they have been captured by Hollywood influences, Oprah, Dr. Phil and others who love the attention that this phenomenon will give their channels. It is pandering and conflict of interest, and it is a shame for kids who are influenced.
There is still quite a lot that will happen before this child reaches 18. The process of puberty, when not tampered with by the shots or pills of wrong sex hormones, may take this daughter on the path of healing. I recommend as much outside nature as possible. I also recommend finding a charity such as Heifer International (heifer.org, no pronouns after names there) and look into the "Send a Girl to School" donation. $275 to help a family in a place where girls are not educated, they are kept home. Making family albums of the women you come from may influence your daughter to have a more connected sense of her "herstory". Women were not all downtrodden and barefoot in the kitchen. My grandmother drove the tractor too.
And WARNING! often the mental health deteriorates after medicalization has started. Emelie Kohler, detransitioner in Sweden, interviewed on Whose Body Is It YouTube channel, describes this, now that she has experienced it herself and heard of it from other desisters. The "therapists" mistakenly think the process should be sped up when this happens. A completely different thought stream should be taken. Good luck. For more info of all kinds, uteheggengrasswidow.wordpress.com I do not ask for money, I do this to save kids, especially girls. Erin Brewer of Advocates For Children has a moving testimonial out today on her journey away from the cross-sex ideation, which stemmed from sexual abuse.