13 Year Old Girl Is Uncomfortable and Determines That Means She’s Trans
This is a transcript of a Partners for Ethical Care (PEC) parent story. The original version can be found here, and the podcast version can be found here, as part of PEC’s podcast series, “The Witness: True Stories of Children and Gender Identity.
My 13 yr old daughter decided last year that she was trans after her friend at school did. She had a horrible bout with anxiety and depression before that. She also had a bad breakup with her first boyfriend with whom she had her first kiss. Then she says she’s bisexual, then I see that she “came out” at school with a new name and pronouns. I only knew because I was spying after a suicide scare months earlier.
It’s been a year and a half after she came out, and we’ve successfully treated her anxiety and depression without medication. Amino acid therapy works wonders! Despite feeling better emotionally and separating herself from most of the LGBTQ friends, she’s still determined to get hormones and surgery at age 18. Her dad and I do not use her chosen name or pronouns and that bothers her but I’ve explained why we don’t—that she’s on an unsafe path, that feeling uncomfortable in your body doesn’t automatically mean you’re trans.
There’s lots of love in the relationship. Tons of hugs, I-love-you’s and laughs, but there’s the elephant in the room and I worry every day. I see what could happen if she doesn’t change her mind so I’m doing lots of activism online and in my community.