A Letter to My Daughter's Doctor
I'm an ordinary Mom who has found herself in a world that doesn't make sense. This is the letter I sent to the professionals in charge of my daughter’s medical care.
Dear (Physician Assistant who prescribes my daughter testosterone) and (Head of Endocrinology Department) at major medical institution,
I have an adult female child, in her mid-twenties, who has been taking testosterone for over a year now. She receives care in your department and PA xxx writes the prescriptions.
I am deeply concerned about the safety and long-term consequences of women taking testosterone that elevates levels above what would be considered normal levels for a female body. The purpose of my letter is to share my concerns with you, in the hopes that, if enough people do so, you will review your policies and practices for providing testosterone to young females who identify as transgender, especially those who are still of childbearing years.
Do you thoroughly discuss the fertility implications with your patients, and revisit the discussion periodically?
Have you discussed the risk of abdominal pain, which may lead to a hysterectomy?
Your transgender health team perform oophorectomies—what is the reasoning behind this, as the ovaries are a crucial part of the endocrine system that provide hormones to regulate the body?
Do you realize that young people are being subscribed cross sex hormone with little to no counseling beforehand, many with mental health issues and/or on the autism spectrum?
Our daughter invited us to a session with her therapist via Zoom. She never met with this therapist in person. All meetings were via Zoom. The therapist informed us that she was 100% sure that our daughter was transgender on the very first appointment. She said that “there had been a mistake in the womb” and that “we now have ways to fix that.” She said that none of her patients had subsequently changed their minds regarding their transgender identity. She specifically said “never.” My husband asked, “Never is a strong word, do you want to reconsider that statement?” but she was undeterred. She confirmed “never”. How can this be possible? No psychiatric “diagnosis” is 100% accurate. No decisions have 0% regret. That defies human nature. The therapist’s blindness to this indicates willful misunderstanding, lack of curiosity or both.
I do not understand how medical professionals can prescribe testosterone to the female body. Young women who have never been pregnant and given birth cannot begin to comprehend the consequence of becoming sterile, either through long term testosterone use or via surgery. My daughter has indicated that she wants to be a parent someday. How can doctors prescribe testosterone, perform mastectomies and hysterectomies on young women? What ideology can possibly justify such treatments?
The body dysmorphia and discomfort with the body is very real but please consider a different treatment path.
Please ask these young women what they actually mean when they say they are men.
Please ask them what they hope to accomplish by “transitioning,” and help them determine if “gender affirming care” will actually help them to live the lives they envision.
Once on testosterone, have a policy to regularly reevaluate whether to continue testosterone or to stop.
Please help your patients navigate the body stress without destroying their endocrine and reproductive systems.
Yes, this approach will be harder than dispensing drugs and will require more time. But have faith in the human ability to live with and overcome physical and emotional pain. Help your patients to move towards experiencing peace with life as it is, without testosterone.
Sincerely,
EM (Everyday Mom)
PS: The author sent this letter anonymously, out of fear that if the practictioner drops her daughter as a patient, then her daughter would resort to going to Planned Parenthood.
I am so weary of all of this, and I have years and years of it ahead. My daughter turns 18 soon. Her father and I are the only ones not cheering her down this destructive path. I admire you for writing letters. I hope they at least read them. But between the greedy providers and ideologues I don’t hold out much hope.
Letters are easy to ignore. Lawsuits are not. But they take time and are just getting started. The Democratic Party is pushing gender ideology hard, doubling and tripling down on it. One of the best things that could happen for our kids is for them to lose badly in 2024.
The boycotting of Budlight and Target have also been helpful. Any company pushing this ideology in order to boost their ESG score needs to lose money. I used to spend money at Target, no more. I don’t spend money much anymore at all, refusing to be a consumer as much as possible. For every young person caught in the web of transgenderism, are parents and family who can stop spending.
Eventually we will win the war. But every battle lost until we do represents one of our children. I for one am not going to be satisfied with just winning. I am not going to be satisfied with reparations for harm done. I want punishment for all of those responsible.
I am struck by your opening sentence, ‘a world that doesn’t make sense’ and I stand with you. Something has so radically changed in the world quite quickly. It was there and then seem to grow underground during the pandemic, like a virus undetected until it broke ground. There will be so many health problems these young people will face as they age. As an ‘old psychotherapist’ it’s so hard to hear the poor training and arrogance of this new therapeutic generation. They seem to have no grounding in theory or understanding of humanness. I am a 67 year old woman recently diagnosed with osteoporosis. It’s a common aging problem. For women it is brought on my loss of estrogen at menopause. For men it is brought on by loss of testosterone. My father had terrible osteoporosis as he had an undiagnosed endocrine problem that caused him to have very low testosterone. Medicine knows these problems of messing with cross sex hormones. They are kicking the can down the road with our beloved children. There is a ‘what could go wrong’ mentality. My already struggling, previously beautiful man child is setting himself up for a lifetime of difficulty. And he has accessories to this crime. I only stand and watch, discarded because I said the emperor has no clothes.