A Letter to My Daughter's Doctor

I'm an ordinary Mom who has found herself in a world that doesn't make sense. This is the letter I sent to the professionals in charge of my daughter’s medical care.

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Dear (Physician Assistant who prescribes my daughter testosterone) and (Head of Endocrinology Department) at major medical institution, 

I have an adult female child, in her mid-twenties, who has been taking testosterone for over a year now.  She receives care in your department and PA xxx writes the prescriptions. 

I am deeply concerned about the safety and long-term consequences of women taking testosterone that elevates levels above what would be considered normal levels for a female body. The purpose of my letter is to share my concerns with you, in the hopes that, if enough people do so, you will review your policies and practices for providing testosterone to young females who identify as transgender, especially those who are still of childbearing years. 

• Do you thoroughly discuss the fertility implications with your patients, and revisit the discussion periodically? 

• Have you discussed the risk of abdominal pain, which may lead to a hysterectomy? 

• Your transgender health team perform oophorectomies—what is the reasoning behind this, as the ovaries are a crucial part of the endocrine system that provide hormones to regulate the body?   

• Do you realize that young people are being subscribed cross sex hormone with little to no counseling beforehand, many with mental health issues and/or on the autism spectrum?  

Our daughter invited us to a session with her therapist via Zoom.  She never met with this therapist in person. All meetings were via Zoom.  The therapist informed us that she was 100% sure that our daughter was transgender on the very first appointment.  She said that “there had been a mistake in the womb” and that “we now have ways to fix that.”  She said that none of her patients had subsequently changed their minds regarding their transgender identity. She specifically said “never.”  My husband asked, “Never is a strong word, do you want to reconsider that statement?” but she was undeterred.  She confirmed “never”.  How can this be possible? No psychiatric “diagnosis” is 100% accurate. No decisions have 0% regret. That defies human nature. The therapist’s blindness to this indicates willful misunderstanding, lack of curiosity or both.

I do not understand how medical professionals can prescribe testosterone to the female body. Young women who have never been pregnant and given birth cannot begin to comprehend the consequence of becoming sterile, either through long term testosterone use or via surgery.  My daughter has indicated that she wants to be a parent someday. How can doctors prescribe testosterone, perform mastectomies and hysterectomies on young women?  What ideology can possibly justify such treatments? 

The body dysmorphia and discomfort with the body is very real but please consider a different treatment path.   

• Please ask these young women what they actually mean when they say they are men.

• Please ask them what they hope to accomplish by “transitioning,” and help them determine if “gender affirming care” will actually help them to live the lives they envision. 

• Once on testosterone, have a policy to regularly reevaluate whether to continue testosterone or to stop. 

• Please help your patients navigate the body stress without destroying their endocrine and reproductive systems. 

Yes, this approach will be harder than dispensing drugs and will require more time. But have faith in the human ability to live with and overcome physical and emotional pain.  Help your patients to move towards experiencing peace with life as it is, without testosterone.   

Sincerely, 

EM   (Everyday Mom)    

PS: The author sent this letter anonymously, out of fear that if the practictioner drops her daughter as a patient, then her daughter would resort to going to Planned Parenthood.