"In the end, our son decided to turn himself into an anime character and play the game in the real world." I've never heard it described in that particular way, but it sounds accurate, describing a blurring of the distinction between reality and fantasy. And essentially, an attempt to escape reality.
I'm relieved to read that you stopped harming yourself. Never forget: none of this was accidental. It was all intentional. The ground had been prepared for some time prior to the ROGD epidemic. Even some PITT parents may disagree with that assessment. But I truly believe that until parents recognize that it WAS intentional they will exist in a state of limbo, not only feeling powerless but also questioning why it happened and what they did wrong. And their natural and appropriate rage will as a consequence be directed inward, as in your case.
So many of our sons fit this description. Trans is this generation’s war, I hope as many of our sons as possible come through it, but some will survive with permanent harm and some not at all, it’s heartbreaking.
I encourage parents to look at Discord, Reddit, Steam and Bluesky to see what our children and young adults are immersed in. It is frightening so don't if you don't feel ready. I did because I needed to see what we are up against. It is unfathomable to me that this is our world now.
First I understand. I had to take it in small pieces and just short bursts, I then deleted the account I set up because doomscrolling there would not help either. That said, on Reddit start by looking at r/actual_detrans. Then next r/detrans; this is easiest because there are some real questioning and somewhat supportive people on these two. Then when ready the real two to look at are r/transgender and r/asktransgender. This is where most young people and those wondering go. Note that each user gets to put in their profile how long they have been on there, how they identify, when they started etc.
I am not great at Steam but if you go on a platform for a specific game ( World of Warcraft is very popular with the trans population) you can see how they talk to each other while playing.
I found my son's Bluesky which works more like Facebook. I needed to guess his user name but you may be able to get a feel for things by doing searches. There is extremely explicit material, there are very few guardrails in place. On the accounts where people are identifying as trans or gender fluid all the followers and following have disturbing ideas and validate each other. I LOT OF explicit material inclduing links to Cashapp for soliciting sexual pictures and videos and links on many profiles to OnlyFans accounts. In other words a cesspool of material and porn.
I had to see because I needed to know what I am up against but at the same time wish I didn't know. This is such a troubling world for our children. I feel that I have a responsibility to try to guide and to be the voice of hope and reason.
I am frightened as it is, but actually do feel ready - can you just be a bit more specific about these web sites, as these are big platforms, with multiple sub topics. What to look at, more specifically, on Reddit and Steam? Thanks
Dearest Parent, thank you for writing your family's story. You are helping so many people by speaking up. The world is looking at the "transgender" cult more and more deeply as time goes on. More truth is being brought out it seems daily. Your son's journey, and each one caught in this ideological journey is unique, yet each story is universal in its heartbreaking pain. I pray that your son will heed more of what is being exposed, as I pray for my grandchildren who are also caught up in the madness that has been perpetrated upon them. Please hang onto the reality of our situations; it is all a scam that is coming unglued. When the bottom falls out, as it will, those of us who saw the scam for what it is and spoke truth to our mentally ill loved ones will be there to help pick up the pieces. The writings such as yours and other brave souls (as our beloved Ghost12, see comment below and past PITT writings), this is what keeps us going. God bless you. Love, Indio
I'm so sorry. The symptoms your son has match those of sudden-onset illness such as PANS/PANDAS, Lyme disease or CTE (if he ever had a concussion). Sadly, most doctors don't even look for these illnesses and the diagnosis is missed, leaving the child/young adult vulnerable to influence by the gender industry and others with evil intent. It's so hard when the child leaves home and the parents cannot even have him evaluated. I hope and pray your son realizes how much you love him and that he returns soon.
There's lots of us and there seems to be a lot of boys at the moment, especially ones in their early 20s. I found the Gender: A Wider Lens fantastic helpful as well as Genspect in general. Like you we've read all the books, watched every going and are experts. With a son ( I too have a son pretending he's a woman) there's the distress of autogynephilia which is not something I really wanted to think about in connection with my own son, also the whole impact on women's rights. There's some support out there, both online and in real life and there's a change in how the trans issue is now being perceived but it's slow, even slower in Australia, but a move in the right direction and I'm thankful for any detransitioner who puts their head above the parapet. Thank you for sharing your story.
I feel for your family. I somewhat know what its like to be your son I used to identify as transgender I have since desisted. I recognize the attitude he had before and I have a feeling that he may have been identifying as transgender longer than you'd think. It took me a while to tell my family I identified as trans even though I believed it was who I was in my soul. And that not affirming was killing me. I was told transitioning would solve all my mental health issues and that I would never feel better if I didn't transition. Idk if your son had mental health issues already but the comorbidity with trans identity and mental illness is very high. 70% of trans identified teenagers have depression, 80% have social anxiety, data from the CDC. If yoh read what people say in trans communities online they tell you that you will never feel better if you don't transition. They ignore any other possible cause. He probably left because he was afraid of you or thought you hated him for not affirming him. It is a persecutory delusion, but in these groups you are taught to fear criticism and questioning. I do wonder about the d&d and anime groups he was in. I know its common for trans identified people to be apart of these groups but I wouldnt necessarily blame them just because you can find trans ideology absolutely anywhere. Art communities, drama clubs, mental health resources, special needs groups, school, social media, just to name a few that I know for sure. To the author I'm with you and I want you to know that the world needs you and you are stronger than you think. I definitely know the deep pain of depression and suicidal ideation, and its hard for me to find words that would help because almost nothing helped me at the time. But I will say you're not alone in this and there are many people who support you, and to find something to live for even if its small even if it only gets you to tomorrow it is enough. And please don't give up hope on your son, people see the light even after years of delusion. I truly wish you the best
Thank you for sharing this. You have helped me as well. My son is deep in this right now and will not reply to communication although he does read my texts. I feel so powerless in how to help him; he is now isolated and depressed and still convinced that this is the answer to his problems. Mental health providers seem to be pushing him further in and not addressing why he was depressed in the first place. It breaks my heart that he is so unhappy and his life has become so small. I need to hear from people such as yourself, it means a lot. So thank you. 🙏
I restacked your note. Yes, most mental health providers will NOT try to assess why he was depressed in the first place. They are usually captured by the pharmaceutical-medical industry which holds out trans-identification as a cure-all. Do you mind I ask how old is he? My direct email is joannavitalhealth@protonmail.com if you want to take this off of substack.
Yes, Mommom. I feel sorry for what you are going through with your trans-identified son. And, yes, some of these "mental health providers" are part of the problem, and will push for MORE trans-identification. (Not all are bad, but good ones seem to be dwindling, ESPECIALLY here in NYC where I am).
My experience with my own son is very similar to the author's minus the running away part. I really appreciate your perspective in this since you went through it yourself. It's so tricky for all of us and I'm so glad you desisted. Thanks so much for sharing. It gives us hope.
Thank you for sharing this. My son has also cut me off . He also played D&D, and was interested in Anime. Unfortunately I encouraged the D&D. So many people I knew played in college. I thought it was better than being online, gaming, TV and movies. I limited my children’s screen time tbefore they went to college. I also have to carry on because my parents need me.
I am not an expert, this is just my opinion: D&D is not a (definitely not THE) cause of trans identity but it IS a warning sign. Certain type of kids and young adults are drawn to D&D. D&D seems cool and fun on the surface but it is an escapism game - and so is transgender identity.
I think we are all experts on our own lives. And, yes, I think we should be looking for signs in children (and other people) that show they may be drawn to the lie of “trans-ing” our biological sex. It could be excessive D&D, or it could be something else. But a gravitation or obsession with the non-real world is likely a sign that non-reality agenda of being “trans” might appeal to this individual.
I think you are on to something here, GenderRealistMom, regarding the relationship between being very drawn to escapism and the propensity to pursue a "trans" identity.
You are right. It's actually fairly severe escapism. All people participate in escapism to some extent to cope with stresses of life. But these games and the game of a trans identity take it to an extreme. Its not escape from pressures of life as much as an escape from yourself.
"In the end, our son decided to turn himself into an anime character and play the game in the real world." I've never heard it described in that particular way, but it sounds accurate, describing a blurring of the distinction between reality and fantasy. And essentially, an attempt to escape reality.
I'm relieved to read that you stopped harming yourself. Never forget: none of this was accidental. It was all intentional. The ground had been prepared for some time prior to the ROGD epidemic. Even some PITT parents may disagree with that assessment. But I truly believe that until parents recognize that it WAS intentional they will exist in a state of limbo, not only feeling powerless but also questioning why it happened and what they did wrong. And their natural and appropriate rage will as a consequence be directed inward, as in your case.
Well written, mother also suffering here for over 5 years.
I have also been in very dark places!
I wush i knew how to heal us x
I am so sorry. Thank you for having the courage to write this. You are not alone. We know what this is like.
I’d really like to know how many parents are out there grieving our children who left us for “this.”
How many kids have left the family to transition?
How many younger children left the family but still live at home waiting to transition later?
It sounds like more than 1% they talked about so much a couple of years ago.
Good question. What are the numbers
So many of our sons fit this description. Trans is this generation’s war, I hope as many of our sons as possible come through it, but some will survive with permanent harm and some not at all, it’s heartbreaking.
I encourage parents to look at Discord, Reddit, Steam and Bluesky to see what our children and young adults are immersed in. It is frightening so don't if you don't feel ready. I did because I needed to see what we are up against. It is unfathomable to me that this is our world now.
First I understand. I had to take it in small pieces and just short bursts, I then deleted the account I set up because doomscrolling there would not help either. That said, on Reddit start by looking at r/actual_detrans. Then next r/detrans; this is easiest because there are some real questioning and somewhat supportive people on these two. Then when ready the real two to look at are r/transgender and r/asktransgender. This is where most young people and those wondering go. Note that each user gets to put in their profile how long they have been on there, how they identify, when they started etc.
I am not great at Steam but if you go on a platform for a specific game ( World of Warcraft is very popular with the trans population) you can see how they talk to each other while playing.
I found my son's Bluesky which works more like Facebook. I needed to guess his user name but you may be able to get a feel for things by doing searches. There is extremely explicit material, there are very few guardrails in place. On the accounts where people are identifying as trans or gender fluid all the followers and following have disturbing ideas and validate each other. I LOT OF explicit material inclduing links to Cashapp for soliciting sexual pictures and videos and links on many profiles to OnlyFans accounts. In other words a cesspool of material and porn.
I had to see because I needed to know what I am up against but at the same time wish I didn't know. This is such a troubling world for our children. I feel that I have a responsibility to try to guide and to be the voice of hope and reason.
Thank you, Mommom. I appreciate your detailed reply and heads up. I wish you and your son all the best.
I am frightened as it is, but actually do feel ready - can you just be a bit more specific about these web sites, as these are big platforms, with multiple sub topics. What to look at, more specifically, on Reddit and Steam? Thanks
Being cut off by a trans identifying child is the emotional equivalent of being buried alive 💔
Dearest Parent, thank you for writing your family's story. You are helping so many people by speaking up. The world is looking at the "transgender" cult more and more deeply as time goes on. More truth is being brought out it seems daily. Your son's journey, and each one caught in this ideological journey is unique, yet each story is universal in its heartbreaking pain. I pray that your son will heed more of what is being exposed, as I pray for my grandchildren who are also caught up in the madness that has been perpetrated upon them. Please hang onto the reality of our situations; it is all a scam that is coming unglued. When the bottom falls out, as it will, those of us who saw the scam for what it is and spoke truth to our mentally ill loved ones will be there to help pick up the pieces. The writings such as yours and other brave souls (as our beloved Ghost12, see comment below and past PITT writings), this is what keeps us going. God bless you. Love, Indio
I'm right there with you. It's a living hell for us both and live in fear of what he's done to his once healthy body. 😭
I'm so sorry. The symptoms your son has match those of sudden-onset illness such as PANS/PANDAS, Lyme disease or CTE (if he ever had a concussion). Sadly, most doctors don't even look for these illnesses and the diagnosis is missed, leaving the child/young adult vulnerable to influence by the gender industry and others with evil intent. It's so hard when the child leaves home and the parents cannot even have him evaluated. I hope and pray your son realizes how much you love him and that he returns soon.
I am so sorry.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope your son gets back in your life and sheds this awful delusion soon. Thanks for writing.
There's lots of us and there seems to be a lot of boys at the moment, especially ones in their early 20s. I found the Gender: A Wider Lens fantastic helpful as well as Genspect in general. Like you we've read all the books, watched every going and are experts. With a son ( I too have a son pretending he's a woman) there's the distress of autogynephilia which is not something I really wanted to think about in connection with my own son, also the whole impact on women's rights. There's some support out there, both online and in real life and there's a change in how the trans issue is now being perceived but it's slow, even slower in Australia, but a move in the right direction and I'm thankful for any detransitioner who puts their head above the parapet. Thank you for sharing your story.
Australia always slow to catch up! Especially in the West!!
Meanwhile our Sons & Daughters are still being coerced to transition “to be their true selves”
I feel for your family. I somewhat know what its like to be your son I used to identify as transgender I have since desisted. I recognize the attitude he had before and I have a feeling that he may have been identifying as transgender longer than you'd think. It took me a while to tell my family I identified as trans even though I believed it was who I was in my soul. And that not affirming was killing me. I was told transitioning would solve all my mental health issues and that I would never feel better if I didn't transition. Idk if your son had mental health issues already but the comorbidity with trans identity and mental illness is very high. 70% of trans identified teenagers have depression, 80% have social anxiety, data from the CDC. If yoh read what people say in trans communities online they tell you that you will never feel better if you don't transition. They ignore any other possible cause. He probably left because he was afraid of you or thought you hated him for not affirming him. It is a persecutory delusion, but in these groups you are taught to fear criticism and questioning. I do wonder about the d&d and anime groups he was in. I know its common for trans identified people to be apart of these groups but I wouldnt necessarily blame them just because you can find trans ideology absolutely anywhere. Art communities, drama clubs, mental health resources, special needs groups, school, social media, just to name a few that I know for sure. To the author I'm with you and I want you to know that the world needs you and you are stronger than you think. I definitely know the deep pain of depression and suicidal ideation, and its hard for me to find words that would help because almost nothing helped me at the time. But I will say you're not alone in this and there are many people who support you, and to find something to live for even if its small even if it only gets you to tomorrow it is enough. And please don't give up hope on your son, people see the light even after years of delusion. I truly wish you the best
Thank you for sharing this. You have helped me as well. My son is deep in this right now and will not reply to communication although he does read my texts. I feel so powerless in how to help him; he is now isolated and depressed and still convinced that this is the answer to his problems. Mental health providers seem to be pushing him further in and not addressing why he was depressed in the first place. It breaks my heart that he is so unhappy and his life has become so small. I need to hear from people such as yourself, it means a lot. So thank you. 🙏
Hi Mommom,
I restacked your note. Yes, most mental health providers will NOT try to assess why he was depressed in the first place. They are usually captured by the pharmaceutical-medical industry which holds out trans-identification as a cure-all. Do you mind I ask how old is he? My direct email is joannavitalhealth@protonmail.com if you want to take this off of substack.
Yes, Mommom. I feel sorry for what you are going through with your trans-identified son. And, yes, some of these "mental health providers" are part of the problem, and will push for MORE trans-identification. (Not all are bad, but good ones seem to be dwindling, ESPECIALLY here in NYC where I am).
My experience with my own son is very similar to the author's minus the running away part. I really appreciate your perspective in this since you went through it yourself. It's so tricky for all of us and I'm so glad you desisted. Thanks so much for sharing. It gives us hope.
Thank you for sharing this. My son has also cut me off . He also played D&D, and was interested in Anime. Unfortunately I encouraged the D&D. So many people I knew played in college. I thought it was better than being online, gaming, TV and movies. I limited my children’s screen time tbefore they went to college. I also have to carry on because my parents need me.
I am not an expert, this is just my opinion: D&D is not a (definitely not THE) cause of trans identity but it IS a warning sign. Certain type of kids and young adults are drawn to D&D. D&D seems cool and fun on the surface but it is an escapism game - and so is transgender identity.
Hi GenderRealist-Mom,
I think we are all experts on our own lives. And, yes, I think we should be looking for signs in children (and other people) that show they may be drawn to the lie of “trans-ing” our biological sex. It could be excessive D&D, or it could be something else. But a gravitation or obsession with the non-real world is likely a sign that non-reality agenda of being “trans” might appeal to this individual.
I think you are on to something here, GenderRealistMom, regarding the relationship between being very drawn to escapism and the propensity to pursue a "trans" identity.
Thank you
You are right. It's actually fairly severe escapism. All people participate in escapism to some extent to cope with stresses of life. But these games and the game of a trans identity take it to an extreme. Its not escape from pressures of life as much as an escape from yourself.
💔