I'm so sorry. The symptoms your son has match those of sudden-onset illness such as PANS/PANDAS, Lyme disease or CTE (if he ever had a concussion). Sadly, most doctors don't even look for these illnesses and the diagnosis is missed, leaving the child/young adult vulnerable to influence by the gender industry and others with evil intent. It's so hard when the child leaves home and the parents cannot even have him evaluated. I hope and pray your son realizes how much you love him and that he returns soon.
There's lots of us and there seems to be a lot of boys at the moment, especially ones in their early 20s. I found the Gender: A Wider Lens fantastic helpful as well as Genspect in general. Like you we've read all the books, watched every going and are experts. With a son ( I too have a son pretending he's a woman) there's the distress of autogynephilia which is not something I really wanted to think about in connection with my own son, also the whole impact on women's rights. There's some support out there, both online and in real life and there's a change in how the trans issue is now being perceived but it's slow, even slower in Australia, but a move in the right direction and I'm thankful for any detransitioner who puts their head above the parapet. Thank you for sharing your story.
I feel for your family. I somewhat know what its like to be your son I used to identify as transgender I have since desisted. I recognize the attitude he had before and I have a feeling that he may have been identifying as transgender longer than you'd think. It took me a while to tell my family I identified as trans even though I believed it was who I was in my soul. And that not affirming was killing me. I was told transitioning would solve all my mental health issues and that I would never feel better if I didn't transition. Idk if your son had mental health issues already but the comorbidity with trans identity and mental illness is very high. 70% of trans identified teenagers have depression, 80% have social anxiety, data from the CDC. If yoh read what people say in trans communities online they tell you that you will never feel better if you don't transition. They ignore any other possible cause. He probably left because he was afraid of you or thought you hated him for not affirming him. It is a persecutory delusion, but in these groups you are taught to fear criticism and questioning. I do wonder about the d&d and anime groups he was in. I know its common for trans identified people to be apart of these groups but I wouldnt necessarily blame them just because you can find trans ideology absolutely anywhere. Art communities, drama clubs, mental health resources, special needs groups, school, social media, just to name a few that I know for sure. To the author I'm with you and I want you to know that the world needs you and you are stronger than you think. I definitely know the deep pain of depression and suicidal ideation, and its hard for me to find words that would help because almost nothing helped me at the time. But I will say you're not alone in this and there are many people who support you, and to find something to live for even if its small even if it only gets you to tomorrow it is enough. And please don't give up hope on your son, people see the light even after years of delusion. I truly wish you the best
My experience with my own son is very similar to the author's minus the running away part. I really appreciate your perspective in this since you went through it yourself. It's so tricky for all of us and I'm so glad you desisted. Thanks so much for sharing. It gives us hope.
Thank you for sharing this. My son has also cut me off . He also played D&D, and was interested in Anime. Unfortunately I encouraged the D&D. So many people I knew played in college. I thought it was better than being online, gaming, TV and movies. I limited my children’s screen time tbefore they went to college. I also have to carry on because my parents need me.
I am not an expert, this is just my opinion: D&D is not a (definitely not THE) cause of trans identity but it IS a warning sign. Certain type of kids and young adults are drawn to D&D. D&D seems cool and fun on the surface but it is an escapism game - and so is transgender identity.
I'm so sorry. The symptoms your son has match those of sudden-onset illness such as PANS/PANDAS, Lyme disease or CTE (if he ever had a concussion). Sadly, most doctors don't even look for these illnesses and the diagnosis is missed, leaving the child/young adult vulnerable to influence by the gender industry and others with evil intent. It's so hard when the child leaves home and the parents cannot even have him evaluated. I hope and pray your son realizes how much you love him and that he returns soon.
I am so sorry.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope your son gets back in your life and sheds this awful delusion soon. Thanks for writing.
There's lots of us and there seems to be a lot of boys at the moment, especially ones in their early 20s. I found the Gender: A Wider Lens fantastic helpful as well as Genspect in general. Like you we've read all the books, watched every going and are experts. With a son ( I too have a son pretending he's a woman) there's the distress of autogynephilia which is not something I really wanted to think about in connection with my own son, also the whole impact on women's rights. There's some support out there, both online and in real life and there's a change in how the trans issue is now being perceived but it's slow, even slower in Australia, but a move in the right direction and I'm thankful for any detransitioner who puts their head above the parapet. Thank you for sharing your story.
I feel for your family. I somewhat know what its like to be your son I used to identify as transgender I have since desisted. I recognize the attitude he had before and I have a feeling that he may have been identifying as transgender longer than you'd think. It took me a while to tell my family I identified as trans even though I believed it was who I was in my soul. And that not affirming was killing me. I was told transitioning would solve all my mental health issues and that I would never feel better if I didn't transition. Idk if your son had mental health issues already but the comorbidity with trans identity and mental illness is very high. 70% of trans identified teenagers have depression, 80% have social anxiety, data from the CDC. If yoh read what people say in trans communities online they tell you that you will never feel better if you don't transition. They ignore any other possible cause. He probably left because he was afraid of you or thought you hated him for not affirming him. It is a persecutory delusion, but in these groups you are taught to fear criticism and questioning. I do wonder about the d&d and anime groups he was in. I know its common for trans identified people to be apart of these groups but I wouldnt necessarily blame them just because you can find trans ideology absolutely anywhere. Art communities, drama clubs, mental health resources, special needs groups, school, social media, just to name a few that I know for sure. To the author I'm with you and I want you to know that the world needs you and you are stronger than you think. I definitely know the deep pain of depression and suicidal ideation, and its hard for me to find words that would help because almost nothing helped me at the time. But I will say you're not alone in this and there are many people who support you, and to find something to live for even if its small even if it only gets you to tomorrow it is enough. And please don't give up hope on your son, people see the light even after years of delusion. I truly wish you the best
My experience with my own son is very similar to the author's minus the running away part. I really appreciate your perspective in this since you went through it yourself. It's so tricky for all of us and I'm so glad you desisted. Thanks so much for sharing. It gives us hope.
Thank you for sharing this. My son has also cut me off . He also played D&D, and was interested in Anime. Unfortunately I encouraged the D&D. So many people I knew played in college. I thought it was better than being online, gaming, TV and movies. I limited my children’s screen time tbefore they went to college. I also have to carry on because my parents need me.
I am not an expert, this is just my opinion: D&D is not a (definitely not THE) cause of trans identity but it IS a warning sign. Certain type of kids and young adults are drawn to D&D. D&D seems cool and fun on the surface but it is an escapism game - and so is transgender identity.
💔