One sunny day last summer, as I was sitting on my couch mindlessly scrolling through my phone, it rang loudly in my hand. The screen said Kaiser Hospital. I answered the phone apprehensively, and the voice on the other end said, "Hi, this is Kaiser Plastics. Is this Aiden?”
As you know, the surgery is a girl mom's worst nightmare. My daughter (almost 19) recently announced her intention to medicalize, and I connected with both a therapist and a female detransitioner about it. Both said something that might bring you some comfort: you feel like this huge ugly milestone has been crossed, and that you've lost the war, as you said in your piece. But you haven't. It was just one of many battles. Fortify yourself for the ones that still lie ahead. According to both of the women I spoke to, many girls will dabble and come in and out of medicalization.
I have to believe there is life after a double mastectomy. I have to cling to a hope that every day is a new opportunity for our girls to change course. I'll be keeping that hope in my heart for your daughter, too.
Beautiful song…heart wrenching story. So hard to understand how any surgeon could perform that surgery on a young healthy female. I wanted to get my tubes tied when I was in my early twenties because I never wanted to have children and I could not find a doctor who would perform this surgery stating “you are too young and might change your mind someday about wanting to have a child.” They were right, of course and when I was thirty-three years old I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. Five years ago she gave me a beautiful granddaughter. Time. Everything needs time. However, these children that are caught in the trans cult snares are in such a hurry to make life decisions but what they need is time to mature, time to accept who they are, time to grow-up. I would have missed out on so much had I found a doctor to grant me my impulsive wish 40+ years ago. So many of these lost children are making decisions that are being supported and encouraged only to one day wake up with regrets. So sad. So very, very sad.
Your song is so beautiful. Our stories are very similar, my daughter had top surgery just two weeks before your daughter, also at age 20. Her boyfriend took her for all the appointments and she recovered with him at their apartment. She dumped him soon after and moved home. I can only hope that mine is on the path to detransition as well. I feel a generational loss, as she is my only daughter, and has cut off the bond from mother to daughter, she will never be able to breastfeed her own child, if she ever has children. Our girls have no clue what they are putting us through and how they might feel about their surgery scars in 5-10 years. Keep writing and don’t give up on her.
My dear darling, I am so sorry you are going through this.
Your song is beautiful beyond words, it has me ugly crying. Your voice is stunning. I pray the storm in your daughter settles and she returns to you 🙏🙏🙏
I concur that this is a beautiful lament that touches the heart of every mother. I don't understand the boyfriends and husbands that stand by and allow their girlfriends and wives to mutilate their bodies. My daughter is still married to her husband of 14 years and has been trans for the last 3. We need more men in our society and culture who tell the women they love that they are beautiful as God made them, not that they need to transform into something different. My heart breaks for your daughter, my daughter, and every other daughter out there who believes the lies of this cult.
Music is such a great comfort and you are doing great holding on to that resource. For yourself and for us listeners.
I work myself into exhaustion in my garden in order to cope with the loss of my twins in the grip of trans ideology forced by my autogynophilic ex husband. We are strong holding on to real things like nature, music...
Such a hauntingly beautiful song. I love the imagery of being a lighthouse for our children in the storm of this chaos. Sending love to your precious heart, fellow mom. ❤️ We all feel your pain. Keep standing strong and bright, the storm must eventually pass!
Kaiser. Odd as usually try to minimize access to specialists. Why would ANY doctors or medical group be eager to remove healthy breasts or on demand, a nose or a leg. The explanation escapes me
Your post was beautiful, as well as your song. My heart aches for parents whose children have done irreversible damage to their bodies. My daughter, who is in a same sex relationship, and very trans affirming, likened voluntary mastectomy to breast augmentation and nose jobs, saying that anyone who undergoes “cosmetic” surgery might regret it , oh well. No. This is beyond cosmetic surgery when we are taking away healthy body parts that function to feed and nourish people. I do believe there is an evil agenda pushing this on really immature and impressionable young people. I think of all the unborn children that are sacrificed on the altar of trans, choice, and infertile sexual relations. With the explosion of LGBT, I’m sure there are many who might have chosen other paths that might have included children. What about their legacy? What about our family’s future? They are so hyper focused on injustices, ideology, and material inequality that they forget about hope, trust, and the joy and maturity that comes from being a mother and a father.
I’m right there with you. My daughter had a masectomy in November 2022 - I couldn’t believe it - she’s now 22. There are no words - I had a masectomy because of cancer history but to have that done as a healthy young woman is mind boggling.
I am so sorry. I freaking hate Kaiser, BTW.
As you know, the surgery is a girl mom's worst nightmare. My daughter (almost 19) recently announced her intention to medicalize, and I connected with both a therapist and a female detransitioner about it. Both said something that might bring you some comfort: you feel like this huge ugly milestone has been crossed, and that you've lost the war, as you said in your piece. But you haven't. It was just one of many battles. Fortify yourself for the ones that still lie ahead. According to both of the women I spoke to, many girls will dabble and come in and out of medicalization.
I have to believe there is life after a double mastectomy. I have to cling to a hope that every day is a new opportunity for our girls to change course. I'll be keeping that hope in my heart for your daughter, too.
Beautiful song…heart wrenching story. So hard to understand how any surgeon could perform that surgery on a young healthy female. I wanted to get my tubes tied when I was in my early twenties because I never wanted to have children and I could not find a doctor who would perform this surgery stating “you are too young and might change your mind someday about wanting to have a child.” They were right, of course and when I was thirty-three years old I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. Five years ago she gave me a beautiful granddaughter. Time. Everything needs time. However, these children that are caught in the trans cult snares are in such a hurry to make life decisions but what they need is time to mature, time to accept who they are, time to grow-up. I would have missed out on so much had I found a doctor to grant me my impulsive wish 40+ years ago. So many of these lost children are making decisions that are being supported and encouraged only to one day wake up with regrets. So sad. So very, very sad.
Your song is so beautiful. Our stories are very similar, my daughter had top surgery just two weeks before your daughter, also at age 20. Her boyfriend took her for all the appointments and she recovered with him at their apartment. She dumped him soon after and moved home. I can only hope that mine is on the path to detransition as well. I feel a generational loss, as she is my only daughter, and has cut off the bond from mother to daughter, she will never be able to breastfeed her own child, if she ever has children. Our girls have no clue what they are putting us through and how they might feel about their surgery scars in 5-10 years. Keep writing and don’t give up on her.
OMG. My heart breaks for you.
That is such a pretty, and a sad, song. I hope so much that some day you will be making songs of celebration.
My dear darling, I am so sorry you are going through this.
Your song is beautiful beyond words, it has me ugly crying. Your voice is stunning. I pray the storm in your daughter settles and she returns to you 🙏🙏🙏
And all of ours to us too 🙏🙏🙏💔💔💔🙏🙏🙏😥😥😥
I concur that this is a beautiful lament that touches the heart of every mother. I don't understand the boyfriends and husbands that stand by and allow their girlfriends and wives to mutilate their bodies. My daughter is still married to her husband of 14 years and has been trans for the last 3. We need more men in our society and culture who tell the women they love that they are beautiful as God made them, not that they need to transform into something different. My heart breaks for your daughter, my daughter, and every other daughter out there who believes the lies of this cult.
Your song is beautiful. I’m so sorry you went through this.
Thank you so much for your beautiful lament that speaks to all of us xxxx
Music is such a great comfort and you are doing great holding on to that resource. For yourself and for us listeners.
I work myself into exhaustion in my garden in order to cope with the loss of my twins in the grip of trans ideology forced by my autogynophilic ex husband. We are strong holding on to real things like nature, music...
Thank you for sharing your story and song. Indeed I feel like I am a “lighthouse in a storm”
Such a hauntingly beautiful song. I love the imagery of being a lighthouse for our children in the storm of this chaos. Sending love to your precious heart, fellow mom. ❤️ We all feel your pain. Keep standing strong and bright, the storm must eventually pass!
Kaiser. Odd as usually try to minimize access to specialists. Why would ANY doctors or medical group be eager to remove healthy breasts or on demand, a nose or a leg. The explanation escapes me
Your post was beautiful, as well as your song. My heart aches for parents whose children have done irreversible damage to their bodies. My daughter, who is in a same sex relationship, and very trans affirming, likened voluntary mastectomy to breast augmentation and nose jobs, saying that anyone who undergoes “cosmetic” surgery might regret it , oh well. No. This is beyond cosmetic surgery when we are taking away healthy body parts that function to feed and nourish people. I do believe there is an evil agenda pushing this on really immature and impressionable young people. I think of all the unborn children that are sacrificed on the altar of trans, choice, and infertile sexual relations. With the explosion of LGBT, I’m sure there are many who might have chosen other paths that might have included children. What about their legacy? What about our family’s future? They are so hyper focused on injustices, ideology, and material inequality that they forget about hope, trust, and the joy and maturity that comes from being a mother and a father.
Your daughter's boyfriend will eventually prove to her that men like breasts.
I’m right there with you. My daughter had a masectomy in November 2022 - I couldn’t believe it - she’s now 22. There are no words - I had a masectomy because of cancer history but to have that done as a healthy young woman is mind boggling.