Written by the sister of a PITT author…. It’s not that I lived in a bubble, but my daughter is older and has a child who is three years old. I guess I just didn’t realize what was happening in grade schools, junior high, and high schools. I wasn’t aware of the transgender cult or that there were puberty blockers being given to young children, or that surgeons were removing young girls’ breasts, and that suicide was being used as a threat towards parents who raised questions or concerns.
What a wonderfully good and supportive sister, unlike the sister of mine whose idea of being supportive involved communicating with my daughter but not me. My daughter asked why my sister was “supporting” her but I was not. The definition of “support” in the transgender world seems to be affirmation of delusion.
Hi, I wanted to explain why I prioritize finding a way to keep your gender questioning teen at home. I live in a West coast city in the US that all sorts of outsiders flock to, thinking they'll get free housing, free hormones & transition help, and it just ain't so. They end up living on the street because they won't conform to shelter rules. They're emotional & confused and if they have any propensity toward mental illness, they will "break". It's a downward spiral that frequently leads to drugs, assault, and or sex work. If you can possibly find a way to vent to a therapist while being being calm & firm with your teen, by which I mean, insisting they get a job, help around the house, get real therapy not just a session to prescribe hormones-- then, hopefully, you can guide them to a productive, self sustaining life. Yelling at them, telling them they aren't trans doesn't work. You're doing the same thing people did 40 years ago when they threw their kids out for being gay.
For insight & support, check out Reddit forums r/detrans, r/actual_detrans, and r/honest transgender. They won't let you post rants, but you can politely ask questions if you clear it with the mods. Take care. I'm rooting for hormone free childhoods.
I agree with everything you say above - including not yelling at your kid and taking on "trans" directly - except there's a difference between gay and trans. Same sex attraction is real and trans is a fantasy/cult. Sometimes kids will run away because they have been groomed: "mom and dad are bad".
Dear lovelies, there is so much distress around trans issues, maybe we should get outside & ground ourselves in nature. Even in cities, you can take off your shoes, walk in the grass, and look at birds. Love to you all.
So sry this government endorsed corporate sponsored harmful tragedy of a religion has hit innocent individuals seeking identity and those who care about em. How could it not? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Having personal experience with the trans cult really brings the problem into sharp focus. It was difficult for me to have a solid opinion until I saw a case with someone I really knew and cared for.
"The transgender movement has a science problem. Trans activists and their allies are trying to silence their critics by accusing them of “science denialism,” but they are inadvertently illustrating the anti-science nature of transgender dogmas. For example, a recent opinion piece in the New England Journal of Medicine (NEJM) — titled “Protecting Transgender Health and Challenging Science Denialism in Policy” actually demonstrates that rejecting transgender ideology is the best way to protect health and defend scientific integrity.
Of course, the authors, a couple of Yale professors plus a student, set out to prove the opposite."
The group is GETA (Gender Exploratory Therapy Association). They are compiling a list of therapists around the world. Once you click the link, go to the bottom of the page and click "I agree." That will take you to their alphabetical listing. Among the founding members are Sasha Ayad and Stella O'Malley, co-hosts of the "Gender-A Wider Lens" podcast.
I have only told two people. My son has only shared his wish to be a girl with online friends and immediate family. If he wants to tell grandma & Grandpa, aunts and uncles, he needs to do it. I am not about to help and make it easy for him. It is a heart ache and struggle that I would not wish on anyone.
Maybe it needs a rationalist - someone who is prepared to talk about and help him face the pro's and con's and the evidence ... then he can make his own mind up?
What my husband and I found with our daughter is that logic, evidence, and rationality were of no use. You cannot talk someone (especially an inexperienced teenager) out of a cult with a pros and cons list, unfortunately. They don't care. They want to be "authentic".
The best wisdom seems to be to get them really busy doing real things in the real world and give them lots of love. We never used the crazy name or pronouns ourselves. We think she is doing better.... and has not harmed herself... but I will continue to be worried and I think this ideology needs to be gutted big time.
That is a helpful tip. We are form on our grounds and cintinuing to love him so that he doesnt feel abandoned all of a sudden. His slight apextrum of autosm is also confusing him to believe the cult..
It looks like its going to be a long steuggle . Bad company...as well
You're unable to find a therapist because many states have criminalized treating this with anything but acceptance, and the professional associations (license boards, etc...) are doing the same. There were lots of people who raised red flags when these laws and policies were being put in place, but we were all dismissed as homophobic, Christian bigots.
My son saw a Christian therapist for a few months last summer. Didn’t really help much. I don’t feel like it hurt either though. Due to the state we live in all therapists must confirm and call a client their ‘chosen’ name. I called close to a dozen therapists last summer. Many would not even consider taking on a gender questioning kid.
True, i faced the same issue. They have prepared the kids mind not to believe therapists.. how can a mivement bring down a generation of young kids like this...
This post really touched me. I ache for more support from my extended family. My brother supports me; he finds it ridiculous that my now 24 y/o son thinks he's a girl, takes cross-sex hormones and has all-but-estranged himself from us. My parents support me. If they didn't I would crumble. So, I can tell you with 100% certainty that your support of your sister means a lot to her and her husband. However none of my sisters-in-law, brothers-in-law or my in-laws support my husband and me. It's as if the political rhetoric has stunted their ability to think critically. (And, ironically, they are NOT uber-liberal). Or they are just going along. Or, simply glad it's not happening to them.
Being countercultural is REALLY hard. I commend you for doing so, and try not to blame your unsupportive family too much.
The longer this trans cult goes on, the more similarities I see to the communism. That may be because the LGBTQIA2S++XYZ people are becoming totalitarian as they gain control of more institutions. Most people under communism were not dissidents. Czeslaw Milosz (Polish anticommunist) said most people practiced something he called "ketman"...
"You become an actor. You learn the practice of ketman. This is the Persian word for the practice of maintaining an outward appearance of Islamic orthodoxy while inwardly dissenting. Ketman was the strategy everyone who wasn’t a true believer in communism had to adopt to stay out of trouble. It is a form of mental self-defense."
If you wish to have a professional career in America and be accepted in intellectual or polite society, you must adhere to the LGBTQIA orthodoxy, whose litmus test right now is puberty blockers for children. 10 years ago the litmus test was gay marriage. 5 years from now the litmus test will be something else (pedophilia is already queued up). But today, you must uncritically champion child gender acceptance and direct your ritual 2-minutes-of-hate at all who do not lest you be branded a pariah by the "cool kids". In reality, most of (just like under communism and 1984) care more about social acceptance and stability of income than we do about the truth.
This is what Solzhenytsn meant when he said "live not by lies!" Most of us can't do it. Your siblings can't do it. And the fact that you ARE doing it is a reminder to them that they are lying daily and turning their eyes from the abomination being perpetuated by their own society, while you are not. From one fellow dissident to another: stay the course, and live not by lies.
My youngest comes home dressed like a caricature. He has lied and tried to use our insurance for hormones behind our backs.
Knowing my sisters and Mother support us helps so much. But my oldest son wants me to support my youngest and sends me "helpful" articles on why I should affirm his new identity. Some days I am just tired ...
Maybe there is some way you can slowly get through to the older son? Then, he might eventually be able to help your younger son - because an older brother might be able to get through to a younger brother in a way that a mother cannot. I read a detranistioned guy once say that the one person he might have listened to was his brother.
I only have one child so I cannot really give you an advice but I sympathize with your older son. He is in a very difficult position. His whole generation is brain-washed into affirmation and he probably feels like he owes it to his little brother to support him. And he does owe him that, he is just mistaken that support = affirmation. Have you tried sending articles to him as he sends articles to you? If he himself is not confused about gender he may be able to think about it more rationally. If he is scientifically minded and/ or likes to read, maybe you can suggest Bob Ostertag's book? Nobody would accuse Bob Ostertag of being a transphobe but the book may help your older son see why you are so concerned. Again, I only have one daughter so I don't know much about raising siblings - or boys for that matter, so my advice may not be worth much.
It seems so important that we find a new non-prejudiced language to address these issues from human to human. The very notice, that someone's appearance seems to say no to talking openly and honestly, like with a trusted friend or a fellow stranger on those special magical moments that the world just seems to be working in our favour.
You would have talked with empathy, sharing your thoughts and feelings, but instead you get the feeling, that you may not talk and must pretend. Mark this notion, it tells all about the others persons isolation.
Deer in headlights look is a better description. A conservative christian church, we were looking for solid ground to stand on for our beliefs and just got very little, seemed to catch the pastor off guard. A different church we go to offered much better footing for us. Plus it was several years ago so my memory is not great on it.
thank you for being sensitive to your sister. My sibling sees me as just too conservative, even though I ache for the trouble my son is putting himself into. He hasn't spoke to me in nearly 2 years,.
Thank you for taking notice and realizing that this is a crisis. We need more people like you, who haven't been directly impacted, to help us fight the monster that is trying to destroy our children. We ARE living in a dystopian society.
This alarming ideology is infiltrating the institutions which transmit culture to everyone, and it is very difficult to speak out against it. This insider's view from a 14 year old girl describes the situation so perfectly:
What a wonderfully good and supportive sister, unlike the sister of mine whose idea of being supportive involved communicating with my daughter but not me. My daughter asked why my sister was “supporting” her but I was not. The definition of “support” in the transgender world seems to be affirmation of delusion.
Hi, I wanted to explain why I prioritize finding a way to keep your gender questioning teen at home. I live in a West coast city in the US that all sorts of outsiders flock to, thinking they'll get free housing, free hormones & transition help, and it just ain't so. They end up living on the street because they won't conform to shelter rules. They're emotional & confused and if they have any propensity toward mental illness, they will "break". It's a downward spiral that frequently leads to drugs, assault, and or sex work. If you can possibly find a way to vent to a therapist while being being calm & firm with your teen, by which I mean, insisting they get a job, help around the house, get real therapy not just a session to prescribe hormones-- then, hopefully, you can guide them to a productive, self sustaining life. Yelling at them, telling them they aren't trans doesn't work. You're doing the same thing people did 40 years ago when they threw their kids out for being gay.
For insight & support, check out Reddit forums r/detrans, r/actual_detrans, and r/honest transgender. They won't let you post rants, but you can politely ask questions if you clear it with the mods. Take care. I'm rooting for hormone free childhoods.
That was helpful. Thanks for some of the resources
I agree with everything you say above - including not yelling at your kid and taking on "trans" directly - except there's a difference between gay and trans. Same sex attraction is real and trans is a fantasy/cult. Sometimes kids will run away because they have been groomed: "mom and dad are bad".
Dear lovelies, there is so much distress around trans issues, maybe we should get outside & ground ourselves in nature. Even in cities, you can take off your shoes, walk in the grass, and look at birds. Love to you all.
Trying unable to...
Feels like drowning , helpless unable to do anything ...
ditto, finding peace,..
It is essential that EVERYONE Has to speak up
So sry this government endorsed corporate sponsored harmful tragedy of a religion has hit innocent individuals seeking identity and those who care about em. How could it not? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Having personal experience with the trans cult really brings the problem into sharp focus. It was difficult for me to have a solid opinion until I saw a case with someone I really knew and cared for.
I so appreciate all of the caring and horrified PITT authors and the editors.
I no longer respect the people we formerly considered "experts" or "learned":
Does anyone else recall revering places like Yale University? No more....
"The Most Passionate Science Deniers Are Pro-Trans ‘Experts’ Who Profit From Carving Up Kids"
https://thefederalist.com/2022/11/29/the-most-passionate-science-deniers-are-pro-trans-experts-who-profit-from-carving-up-kids/
"The transgender movement has a science problem. Trans activists and their allies are trying to silence their critics by accusing them of “science denialism,” but they are inadvertently illustrating the anti-science nature of transgender dogmas. For example, a recent opinion piece in the New England Journal of Medicine (NEJM) — titled “Protecting Transgender Health and Challenging Science Denialism in Policy” actually demonstrates that rejecting transgender ideology is the best way to protect health and defend scientific integrity.
Of course, the authors, a couple of Yale professors plus a student, set out to prove the opposite."
Happy to receive a list of psychologists and psychiatrists who do not automatically affirm self diagnosis. We tried and could not find any.
Try this link: https://genderexploratory.com/browse/
The group is GETA (Gender Exploratory Therapy Association). They are compiling a list of therapists around the world. Once you click the link, go to the bottom of the page and click "I agree." That will take you to their alphabetical listing. Among the founding members are Sasha Ayad and Stella O'Malley, co-hosts of the "Gender-A Wider Lens" podcast.
I have only told two people. My son has only shared his wish to be a girl with online friends and immediate family. If he wants to tell grandma & Grandpa, aunts and uncles, he needs to do it. I am not about to help and make it easy for him. It is a heart ache and struggle that I would not wish on anyone.
This reflects with the danger my son is treading in... i am helpless not knowing how to help him get out of this..
All are talking about this issue. I am unable to find a true genuine therapist who can help talk to him out of this
An "affirming" therapist is much worse than no therapist.
Maybe it needs a rationalist - someone who is prepared to talk about and help him face the pro's and con's and the evidence ... then he can make his own mind up?
What my husband and I found with our daughter is that logic, evidence, and rationality were of no use. You cannot talk someone (especially an inexperienced teenager) out of a cult with a pros and cons list, unfortunately. They don't care. They want to be "authentic".
The best wisdom seems to be to get them really busy doing real things in the real world and give them lots of love. We never used the crazy name or pronouns ourselves. We think she is doing better.... and has not harmed herself... but I will continue to be worried and I think this ideology needs to be gutted big time.
That is a helpful tip. We are form on our grounds and cintinuing to love him so that he doesnt feel abandoned all of a sudden. His slight apextrum of autosm is also confusing him to believe the cult..
It looks like its going to be a long steuggle . Bad company...as well
Sounds all too familiar! Hang in there. It does seem to take time. Good luck!!!
You're unable to find a therapist because many states have criminalized treating this with anything but acceptance, and the professional associations (license boards, etc...) are doing the same. There were lots of people who raised red flags when these laws and policies were being put in place, but we were all dismissed as homophobic, Christian bigots.
Sad, people truely love and care for children are forcefully neglected. Feeling helpless
My son saw a Christian therapist for a few months last summer. Didn’t really help much. I don’t feel like it hurt either though. Due to the state we live in all therapists must confirm and call a client their ‘chosen’ name. I called close to a dozen therapists last summer. Many would not even consider taking on a gender questioning kid.
True, i faced the same issue. They have prepared the kids mind not to believe therapists.. how can a mivement bring down a generation of young kids like this...
This post really touched me. I ache for more support from my extended family. My brother supports me; he finds it ridiculous that my now 24 y/o son thinks he's a girl, takes cross-sex hormones and has all-but-estranged himself from us. My parents support me. If they didn't I would crumble. So, I can tell you with 100% certainty that your support of your sister means a lot to her and her husband. However none of my sisters-in-law, brothers-in-law or my in-laws support my husband and me. It's as if the political rhetoric has stunted their ability to think critically. (And, ironically, they are NOT uber-liberal). Or they are just going along. Or, simply glad it's not happening to them.
Being countercultural is REALLY hard. I commend you for doing so, and try not to blame your unsupportive family too much.
The longer this trans cult goes on, the more similarities I see to the communism. That may be because the LGBTQIA2S++XYZ people are becoming totalitarian as they gain control of more institutions. Most people under communism were not dissidents. Czeslaw Milosz (Polish anticommunist) said most people practiced something he called "ketman"...
"You become an actor. You learn the practice of ketman. This is the Persian word for the practice of maintaining an outward appearance of Islamic orthodoxy while inwardly dissenting. Ketman was the strategy everyone who wasn’t a true believer in communism had to adopt to stay out of trouble. It is a form of mental self-defense."
If you wish to have a professional career in America and be accepted in intellectual or polite society, you must adhere to the LGBTQIA orthodoxy, whose litmus test right now is puberty blockers for children. 10 years ago the litmus test was gay marriage. 5 years from now the litmus test will be something else (pedophilia is already queued up). But today, you must uncritically champion child gender acceptance and direct your ritual 2-minutes-of-hate at all who do not lest you be branded a pariah by the "cool kids". In reality, most of (just like under communism and 1984) care more about social acceptance and stability of income than we do about the truth.
This is what Solzhenytsn meant when he said "live not by lies!" Most of us can't do it. Your siblings can't do it. And the fact that you ARE doing it is a reminder to them that they are lying daily and turning their eyes from the abomination being perpetuated by their own society, while you are not. From one fellow dissident to another: stay the course, and live not by lies.
My youngest comes home dressed like a caricature. He has lied and tried to use our insurance for hormones behind our backs.
Knowing my sisters and Mother support us helps so much. But my oldest son wants me to support my youngest and sends me "helpful" articles on why I should affirm his new identity. Some days I am just tired ...
So sad.
Maybe there is some way you can slowly get through to the older son? Then, he might eventually be able to help your younger son - because an older brother might be able to get through to a younger brother in a way that a mother cannot. I read a detranistioned guy once say that the one person he might have listened to was his brother.
I only have one child so I cannot really give you an advice but I sympathize with your older son. He is in a very difficult position. His whole generation is brain-washed into affirmation and he probably feels like he owes it to his little brother to support him. And he does owe him that, he is just mistaken that support = affirmation. Have you tried sending articles to him as he sends articles to you? If he himself is not confused about gender he may be able to think about it more rationally. If he is scientifically minded and/ or likes to read, maybe you can suggest Bob Ostertag's book? Nobody would accuse Bob Ostertag of being a transphobe but the book may help your older son see why you are so concerned. Again, I only have one daughter so I don't know much about raising siblings - or boys for that matter, so my advice may not be worth much.
It seems so important that we find a new non-prejudiced language to address these issues from human to human. The very notice, that someone's appearance seems to say no to talking openly and honestly, like with a trusted friend or a fellow stranger on those special magical moments that the world just seems to be working in our favour.
You would have talked with empathy, sharing your thoughts and feelings, but instead you get the feeling, that you may not talk and must pretend. Mark this notion, it tells all about the others persons isolation.
Deer in headlights look is a better description. A conservative christian church, we were looking for solid ground to stand on for our beliefs and just got very little, seemed to catch the pastor off guard. A different church we go to offered much better footing for us. Plus it was several years ago so my memory is not great on it.
thank you for being sensitive to your sister. My sibling sees me as just too conservative, even though I ache for the trouble my son is putting himself into. He hasn't spoke to me in nearly 2 years,.
Maybe these 'political' differences hide other resentments being played out? Families eh!
Thank you for taking notice and realizing that this is a crisis. We need more people like you, who haven't been directly impacted, to help us fight the monster that is trying to destroy our children. We ARE living in a dystopian society.
This alarming ideology is infiltrating the institutions which transmit culture to everyone, and it is very difficult to speak out against it. This insider's view from a 14 year old girl describes the situation so perfectly:
https://www.transgendertrend.com/gender-indoctrination-schools-teenage-girls-testimony