Thanks for this essay. My son, 38 has also decided that he is no longer a father or a man. He has two small children and a wife that not only supports this decision but encourages it. Unlike your son, he is looking to keep our relationship going, but only if we agree with his decision. I have told him that I can not support a decision th…
Thanks for this essay. My son, 38 has also decided that he is no longer a father or a man. He has two small children and a wife that not only supports this decision but encourages it. Unlike your son, he is looking to keep our relationship going, but only if we agree with his decision. I have told him that I can not support a decision that is so detrimental to to his mental and physical health, as well as a terrible burden for his two young sons. I believe this transgender ideology is a cult, and dangerous to everyone. He had a wonderful childhood with no inclination towards this way of thinking. However, he is now rewriting history and says he always felt this way. The devastation to our entire family can not be overstated and after two years, I am beginning to accept that the extended family I longed will not work.
I really feel for you and can see you’re grieving. But do you really want to die on this hill? You are not only cutting yourself off from your son but your grandchildren. You can still think his decision was stupid (I think it was) but is it so important to share that you are willing to cut him off?
I understand that most people will look at this situation the way you do. However, it is not just us "accepting" his new identity. We have to call him a different name, pretend that he is a "she", in other words, we have to go full in with this ideology. Complete acceptance. At some point, my husband and I have to stand up for what we believe in and also protect our health. The trans identity is all or nothing. He is showing no flexibility to our feelings but somehow we are supposed to indulge his feelings/experience. I can not pretend that I condone or accept this but there seems to be no room for middle ground.
We are much the same...no risk factors and he was an awesome son and person. If you haven't been to Walt Heyers website and read his story I suggest you do...he has greatly enjoyed me
Thanks for this essay. My son, 38 has also decided that he is no longer a father or a man. He has two small children and a wife that not only supports this decision but encourages it. Unlike your son, he is looking to keep our relationship going, but only if we agree with his decision. I have told him that I can not support a decision that is so detrimental to to his mental and physical health, as well as a terrible burden for his two young sons. I believe this transgender ideology is a cult, and dangerous to everyone. He had a wonderful childhood with no inclination towards this way of thinking. However, he is now rewriting history and says he always felt this way. The devastation to our entire family can not be overstated and after two years, I am beginning to accept that the extended family I longed will not work.
I really feel for you and can see you’re grieving. But do you really want to die on this hill? You are not only cutting yourself off from your son but your grandchildren. You can still think his decision was stupid (I think it was) but is it so important to share that you are willing to cut him off?
I understand that most people will look at this situation the way you do. However, it is not just us "accepting" his new identity. We have to call him a different name, pretend that he is a "she", in other words, we have to go full in with this ideology. Complete acceptance. At some point, my husband and I have to stand up for what we believe in and also protect our health. The trans identity is all or nothing. He is showing no flexibility to our feelings but somehow we are supposed to indulge his feelings/experience. I can not pretend that I condone or accept this but there seems to be no room for middle ground.
We are much the same...no risk factors and he was an awesome son and person. If you haven't been to Walt Heyers website and read his story I suggest you do...he has greatly enjoyed me
My 35 yo married son has decided he is Trans. His wife is going along with it.
He decided this on his own a year ago- but told me last summer. It has changed everything between us.